How many people want to give up?

[joecreosta]

don't worry about that now. you have 3 months before you even apply. I know things can seem bleak...but tons of people get their visas with no problems...they just don't post that often about it - I guess they are too busy getting on with their lives

Lynn

people only come to sites to share their bad stories.

 

[HoneyBird]

somedays i dont feel married..if my husband was with me...maybe i wont be going through all these emotions..
i want to also do some stuff before i migrate..short courses etc...but since we dont know how long the embassy would take, its like my life is in limbo and i cant make a decision to start something...so that sucks.
and i have exhausted all my leave at my workplace.
i am no long intersted in working i just feel like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
i am making every effort to getmyself ready to migrate but i just wish we had a time line from the embassy that i could live by. it would definitely make it easier to live with.

 

[tgchi13]

I don't have any sanity left. I am honestly beginning to think that this whole process is just there to ruin lives. We are moving for a better life. Looks like they are just beating us down so we will cower to anything they say. ARGH! The frustration of the wait and that there is no one and no where to call to get any answers. This is draining the last drops of humanity from my very soul. I begin to understand how people can get so tweaked by the process that they want to go to a government office with semiautomatic weapons. They REALLY know how to push people to the limit and then give them one more little nudge. ???

• $1,000 for the PR process
• $1,000 for moving expenses
• $1,000 for storage of personal effects
• $1,000 to import the car
• Sanity - priceless but gone

If the timeline Heather posted is correct, you are just starting. Perhaps you should consider to speaking with a professional.

 

[heatherusa]

If the timeline Heather posted is correct, you are just starting. Perhaps you should consider to speaking with a professional.

Other people from Buffalo, and other people from May are seeing results. The frustration is coming from that and the fact that Buffalo wouldn't respond when they asked us for the FBI report and they already had it. In comparison to others in our same situation, we arent just starting. And really the frustration comes from the not knowing more than anything, and not necessarily from the actual timeline. He (we) just get frustrated and respond as such when we see others getting their PPRs and hearing things and moving forward. Plus, that last post was just meant to be funny.

 

[tgchi13]

Other people from Buffalo, and other people from May are seeing results. The frustration is coming from that and the fact that Buffalo wouldn't respond when they asked us for the FBI report and they already had it. In comparison to others in our same situation, we arent just starting. And really the frustration comes from the not knowing more than anything, and not necessarily from the actual timeline. He (we) just get frustrated and respond as such when we see others getting their PPRs and hearing things and moving forward. Plus, that last post was just meant to be funny.

I read your timeline to be August, my mistake!

 

[heatherusa]

I read your timeline to be August, my mistake!

;D

 

[Poetic]

Wow..reading all your posts just breaks my heart. But I feel so much love between y'all and your spouses..and when theres that much love, giving up is impossible..but I totally understand that it's the situation that drives you there.

I'm lucky to be here in Canada with hubby during our process. We both went through hell to be together in the first place so everything else just feels like another obstacle. I still am scared of the outcome but you can only hope for the best right? And I understand the pain of missing someone, I nearly lost my husband forever but never once gave up hope of being in his presence again..hell I miss him when he leaves for work everyday! I love him like it's my purpose in life, and sometimes I do feel hopeless but I gotta be strong.

One last thing, all your pain filled posts inspired me to write a poem for y'all! Might post it up here too!

Keep ya heads up! It's beautiful enough to love someone and have them love you back.

 

[giggles1985]

i am no long intersted in working i just feel like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
i am making every effort to getmyself ready to migrate but i just wish we had a time line from the embassy that i could live by. it would definitely make it easier to live with.

This is exactly how I feel. I'm completely "checked out" of my job and I just don't care about it anymore. I'm starting to pack and everything even though I still have no idea how long it will be. I'm just not interested in living here anymore. I'm just ready for this to be done

 

[sogwap]

Count me in! This process should not be this difficult. I have cried many tears, spent nights not being able to sleep, there has been tremendous tension in the house, confidence questioned, asking myself many times if I made the right choice. For about six month just being with my new Canadian bride was enough. However after being here a year and still stuck on square one has been unbelievably difficult.

My (Canadian) spouse welcomed me with open arms to be with her. She could not move to the States because she has a young child whose father would not allow the child to move, therefore I left everything to be here with my new wife. However the stress of me (the husband) not being able to work to support my new family has caused my new wife to feel she does not have a husband to take care of her as she carries the entire household expenses.

I have said this before but in a normal marriage one or both spouses are expected to work and contribute and if they don't they would be considered abusive, lazy, or insane. My wife has said her friends have said that very same thing about me not working. Unfortunately the (Canadians) don't understand their own system and think that I should just be able to work and accuse me of being in the wrong. For which my wife is quite up set with me!
The same applies to a couple that gets married and don't (can't) live together for the 6-18 months. You are considered strange, abusive, abandoned, or insane. Yet that is what is expected for most immigrants.

 

[CharlieD10]

The same applies to a couple that gets married and don't (can't) live together for the 6-18 months. You are considered strange, abusive, abandoned, or insane. Yet that is what is expected for most immigrants.

I am currently looking at this situation. My husband returns to Canada next month, and we are looking at spending the next 6-18 months apart. I know many people are going to find it strange that they never see my husband, but I am wearing wedding rings and calling myself Mrs. Even he didn't understand when we started looking into this PR thing, that it was going to be so expensive and mean so much time apart, as I was denied a visitor's visa. At one point, I got so overwhelmed looking at all that is required, I told him to go home and forget me!

 

[dair2dv8103100]

I am currently looking at this situation. My husband returns to Canada next month, and we are looking at spending the next 6-18 months apart. I know many people are going to find it strange that they never see my husband, but I am wearing wedding rings and calling myself Mrs. Even he didn't understand when we started looking into this PR thing, that it was going to be so expensive and mean so much time apart, as I was denied a visitor's visa. At one point, I got so overwhelmed looking at all that is required, I told him to go home and forget me!

I am looking at this same situation in Jan after we get married and I have to return home to Canada without him and begin the sponsorship process. Even now people at my church are looking suspiciously at this relationship because they are concerned that he is just trying to get to Canada. A few have asked "So when are we going to meet him?" and what can I say but...hopefully next Dec :'( One woman was like.."So you are just going to bring him to church one day and say hi this is my husband??" Again, what can I say but... yes, pretty much. I will have a wedding band and be married without a husband to show for it... I can't imagine the sigh of relief it will be once he has landed. I know that will bring a whole new set of challenges but at least we can face them together.

I too have said to him on several occasions...are you really sure you want to do this?.. Why don't you just forget me?... I always get the same response lol... "Do you think I can live without you?" Thank God I have finally found the person created for me....if he wasn't I know we would have given up as soon as we found out what was involved.

I still believe that true love will prevail.

 

[lynw]

Count me in! This process should not be this difficult. I have cried many tears, spent nights not being able to sleep, there has been tremendous tension in the house, confidence questioned, asking myself many times if I made the right choice. For about six month just being with my new Canadian bride was enough. However after being here a year and still stuck on square one has been unbelievably difficult.

My (Canadian) spouse welcomed me with open arms to be with her. She could not move to the States because she has a young child whose father would not allow the child to move, therefore I left everything to be here with my new wife. However the stress of me (the husband) not being able to work to support my new family has caused my new wife to feel she does not have a husband to take care of her as she carries the entire household expenses.

I have said this before but in a normal marriage one or both spouses are expected to work and contribute and if they don't they would be considered abusive, lazy, or insane. My wife has said her friends have said that very same thing about me not working. Unfortunately the (Canadians) don't understand their own system and think that I should just be able to work and accuse me of being in the wrong. For which my wife is quite up set with me!
The same applies to a couple that gets married and don't (can't) live together for the 6-18 months. You are considered strange, abusive, abandoned, or insane. Yet that is what is expected for most immigrants.

It is indeed incredibly difficult. From our point of view we have given up so much, and yet we are unable to do anything new to replace it. Not to mention that being in limbo for such a long time doesn't exactly put you in the right frame of mind to finally launch yourself on the canadian workforce. Self confidence, what's that?

 

[tgchi13]

Having been in the positon of having my partner with me during the process and not with me during the process I can honestly say both are difficult.

It requires compassion, dedication, understanding and overwhelming love with the determination to conquer all. I'll ask my husband which was more difficult for him; enduring this together, or apart.

 

[tgchi13]

Having been in the positon of having my partner with me during the process and not with me during the process I can honestly say both are difficult.

It requires compassion, dedication, understanding and overwhelming love with the determination to conquer all. I'll ask my husband which was more difficult for him; enduring this together, or apart.

I asked my husband -

Begin forwarded message:

enduring immigration for you here, while we were together or immigration for you here, when we were apart, or my immigrating there while we are apart?

And the response was -

On 13-Sep-10, at 7:58 PM, XXXXX wrote:

Waiting in Canada nearly killed me but it was still easier with you.

If you are with your partner, rejoice.

 

[BeShoo]

...are you really sure you want to do this?.. Why don't you just forget me?... I always get the same response lol... "Do you think I can live without you?"

My partner has been on a visit with me in Canada for the last 7 months and we still haven't quite prepared the application to my satisfaction. It's discouraging, but the alternative is just unthinkable. Even when we were still dating (long distance), I thought about it just being too hard to be in an international relationship, but there's really no alternative. He's the one. I can't keep living without him. There really is no other choice, no matter how hard it is, and what I have to give up for it.