How many people want to give up?

[wmaitner]

I am tired of all the fighting. I am tired of the seperation. I am pissed that I missed my daughter's birthday. How many of you reach the end of your rope and want to just say *censored word* it all and give up? I honestly think that is the job of Immigration Canada. Push people to their breaking point and then give them one more big push. I am so frustrated and angry and just plain tired of it all. I don't want to deal with any of this any more. Tell me I'm not the only one.

 

[tgchi13]

Often enough that we know that giving up won't help with us being separated, or missed birthday's or anniversaries or life-threatening illness, it just means we don't win.

You aren't going to be less frustrated, and angry or tired if you give up. You will be more so, and more sad.

 

[joecreosta]

I am tired of all the fighting. I am tired of the seperation. I am pissed that I missed my daughter's birthday. How many of you reach the end of your rope and want to just say *censored word* it all and give up? I honestly think that is the job of Immigration Canada. Push people to their breaking point and then give them one more big push. I am so frustrated and angry and just plain tired of it all. I don't want to deal with any of this any more. Tell me I'm not the only one.

be patient it is key in this immigration game. each day we have fights between us and this is becaause big long distance kilometers. but if u truly loves him then this is just another challenge u have to face.

be strong.and do not let the evil overcome you.

u wil be fine.

 

[AngelB]

It's hell.

My husband is my entire life. Being away from him literally devastates me. I am constantly frustrated and feeling needy, which I hate.

I wouldn't give up. Not for a second. I love that man more than anything on earth, and I couldn't give up if I tried. I'll hurt and I'll suffer until he's here, but damn it I'd rather die than let the world tear us apart. He is my heart and soul, and despite my pain, I couldn't imagine giving up.

My advice? I've got nothing solid for you, unfortunately. I can't even say I'm patient, because I am not. At all, much to my husband's frustration. It's the love between you and your partner that keeps you strong. Compromise and unique ways to be with your loved ones is really the only way I have been able to cope.

I do not want to give up.

Good luck, my friend. We're all suffering with you.

 

[tgchi13]

Compromise and unique ways to be with your loved ones is really the only way I have been able to cope.

Well said. And my husband is as romantic and unique with our relationship when we are apart as he is when we are together. We have both learned to compromise and it's made for one heck of a strong relationship!

 

[toby]

There are two ways to interpret "give up". Did wmaitner ask if we wanted to give up on our relationships, or give up on Canada? Most replied with reaffirmations about their relationships, but what about Canada? Is it losing its lustre by displaying indifference toward applicants, and the inefficiency the Government tolerates in its embassy staffs?

 

[tgchi13]

There are two ways to interpret "give up". Did wmaitner ask if we wanted to give up on our relationships, or give up on Canada? Most replied with reaffirmations about their relationships, but what about Canada? Is it losing its lustre by displaying indifference toward applicants, and the inefficiency the Government tolerates in its embassy staffs?

If you look at my 'timeline' you'll see that I'll be leaving Canada, but not my partner. But Toby, please note that leaving Canada to reunite a family -in most instance- still creates very similar issues, timelines and frustrations.

 

[Cdagal]

Every day I wish I could just pack up mine and my children's lives and head for Brazil. I spend every minute of every day thinking of him and missing him so much it hurts to breathe. This is the most difficult time in our lives, but I know it is only temporary, thank god.

 

[brownsuga]

You are not the only one but as Cdagal said "its temporary". It is hard misssing your partner and milestones in the children's lives but this too shall pass.

 

[AngelB]

Now that I think about it, when put in the other perspective, I realize that there have been a few times I've thought "why don't I just go to the U.S?". Those thoughts never went too far, since I love Canada SO much.

 

[kamal225]

Million others have the same feeling it is either they dont want to admit the suffering so they dont get weak in their endless waiting or because they see the light at the end when united with their families or may be it is not the way to win a battle.
I know how you feel but i dont know how much love you carry inside your heart to your family but i can feel your pain
i dont know how many birhtdays, aniversaries or celebrations you have missed when looking at some one else in your situation you know that you are not alone .
many of us here have families and childen and are not alone in this situation
life is not easy and we are all trying our best to be with our families but we should not get weak or disappointed
on these threads there are many frustrated being in the process and many others happy being at the end of process
put your thoughts together, concentrate on what part you are now you can also post your timeline and dont be afraid of sharing your timeline or to ask questions, you may need assistance in your papers or a lawyer to track your papers and correct any missing documents, try your best to prove every chance in your application that you want to be united with your family and all the best and remember you are not alone and it is not good to give up unless you know it is better where you are and this is what you want

cheers and have a wonderful day

 

[nae-nae]

Every day I wish I could just pack up mine and my children's lives and head for Brazil. I spend every minute of every day thinking of him and missing him so much it hurts to breathe. This is the most difficult time in our lives, but I know it is only temporary, thank god.

I feel the same way at times...just want to quit my job, sell my house, pack it all in and go live with hubby. When I feel like that, I have to keep reminding myself that it's not in our best interest to do that right now. It is definitely difficult and lonely without your partner! Try to keep busy and looking toward the future. You're right, thank God it's only temporary!

Stay strong! you can and will get through this!

 

[nae-nae]

wmaiter - sometimes I wonder if that is immigration's intention...to push relationships to the breaking point, see if they do actually break and if they don't, they are satisfied that it is genuine. There are so many people that have been waiting more than 1 year which is absolutely ridiculous! While I understand and am grateful they are trying to weed out the marriages of convenience, I don't agree with keeping families apart that long!

 

[tgchi13]

Now that I think about it, when put in the other perspective, I realize that there have been a few times I've thought "why don't I just go to the U.S?". Those thoughts never went too far, since I love Canada SO much.

Neither of us is that patriotic. Both of us want to be together more than to be in a place.

It was a long process for me, I use to believe I'd never do it. The immigration process has opened my eyes and mind, and my heart, but that is the only thing I am grateful for CIC for.

 

[rjessome]

This process was one of the most difficult challenges I've ever faced in my life. But here's the tidbit of hope. The pain fades. It really does. After you are reunited with your partner and get on with the business of life, you really do heal quickly from all of this. I liken it to childbirth. As difficult and awful as giving birth to my son was (I would scare pregnant women if I told that story), he was more than worth it and I would do it all over again for him. Obviously my relationship with my husband is different than with my child and marriage is hard work in a different way. But at least now we have the chance to deal with the day to day trials of marriage and relationships together.

Yes, I thought about giving up. The emotional toll was often too much to handle. The coldness of immigration hurt me. My lack of knowledge and education about the law opened my eyes in ways I had never imagined. But, more importantly, I understood that some things are worth fighting for and waiting for. I also realized that I made the choice to marry someone from a different country and I had to live with the consequences of that. Immigration red tape and struggles just happened to be the first of many consquences that we have had to overcome as a couple and there will be more. Marriage is like that, a new challenge everyday. Marry someone from a different culture, different religion, different part of the world and you add to your pile of challenges. Somedays, when my husband is getting on my last nerve, I think what the hell did I do this for? Luckily, those thoughts are few and far between and our marriage is getting stronger by the day.

So the pain fades my friends. And on the other side, some of the added benefits are you will be more patient, more knowledgeable about the law in your own country, more appreciative of your partner, more helpful, and more compassionate to the stuggles of others. And you will be humbled by the kindness of strangers who share their knowledge and experience so as to hopefully guide you and ease your own journey. It's hard to imagine that there are positives but there really are. Best of luck to all of you.