As a woman I hold the door open for both men and women that's just common courtesy.
Believe me, I have seen all sorts of reaction to this very simple gesture. From smiles (like from that old couple) to neutral (most of my coworkers) to outright outrage (from few oddballs at my workplace). The issue is, norms are set to accommodate "acceptable" extremes. Somewhere in past 2 or 3 decades, IMHO, "stop patronizing!" has become a real acceptable --though a bit extreme-- response to many simple gestures and pleasantries.
Has nothing to do with the original question.
In a way it is. When you are not even sure that even a very very mundane gesture like holding door can possibly cause such a reaction, you need to be way more guarded to any other pleasantry.
Women (and likely men) were offended by many things in previous generations but were unable to voice their opinion. Let's stop exaggerating.
Try raising voice against any of SJW/Woke ideas in a workplace. You will get cancelled way fast. Quite a few college professors found it to their surprise. The things that are socially acceptable to be voiced have changed indeed. Some like gender roles and sexual harassment have become acceptable to be discussed in a civil setting -- and thats a great thing. Others like body image or health have become taboo.
People don't talk through lawyers in Canada but unless it is your family or close you shouldn't be commenting on people's bodies or looks. You can have great relationships with people without commenting about their looks.
Well, just saying "you look fabulous" earns scorn as our dear OP discovered. It was not always like this. I joined Intel in 2005/06 and they had a standardized anti-harassment training course. I am quoting verbatim one example from back then:
"A woman manager tells her sub-ordinate that his blue coat brings out blue color of his eyes pretty well. Harassment or not?" The answer was Not.
I think it would have changed by now.
Would add that I appreciate that I live in a country where there are repercussions if you are sexually harassed at work, at home or out in public. Women especially are very lucky to live in a country like Canada.
I concur. No objections at all. Totally agree.
Would add that many people are not soliciting any form of compliment on instagram.
I am sorry, I should have been clearer. I was alluding to feeling of satisfaction that many people get when they see "likes" on their pic going up. Don't know about you, but both my wife and many of her friends (male and female) have talked about number of likes they got for their pics. It was this feedback I was commenting on. Since it is not socially acceptable to even say pleasantries about someone's new look in person, people have taken it to the web -- in form of "like" counts.
Even if you are many people have extremely inappropriate responses. If women post a picture online in a bikini they receive sexual propositions and d*ck pics so there is a need for many to be reminded of harassment laws.
Well, web affords apparent anonymity. It brings worst out of many folks. This is why I like real world interactions more. It makes people behave. If they don't, repercussions are immediate.
In all countries, except certain very creative industries, it would be a sign of disrespect if you wore something completely different than other employees to work. Even a few decades ago if men didn't wear a suit to a white collar job it would have been seen as a lack of respect for your employer and other colleagues. Nothing has changed.
100% agreed!
Would add that talking about how your gold chain accentuates your complexion to strangers is extremely strange small talk to people you have just met while opening a door for them.
I thought it was absolutely normal. When I grew up, this is how my parents and their peers interacted. Also refer to that Intel example I wrote above.