Unable to get married and unable to be/prove common-law

[MilesAway]

Hi everyone,

I have a bit of a difficult situation, and I'm trying to figure out what I can do to resolve it.

I have lived with my partner since July 2012. Unfortunately, given that we are a same-sex couple in a country where it is frowned upon, we have actively avoided having such things to prove that. I am in the country on a work visa, and I could be kicked out of the country and lose my job if my living situation were discovered. The only documents we have are the lease, which shows my partner's name as the renter, and my name as the person living there. Since I am a "foreigner" in this country, the landlord did not want the hassle of registering me, etc. So my partner signed the lease. She moved in back in July 2012, but we did not change anything on the lease to reflect that.
We have received a few packages from my parents, so we took photos of them, addressed to both of us at our address. But that's all we have. Utilities bills are in the owner's name, not the renter's. There is no such thing as a phone bill or internet bill, everything is paid online or via payment terminals.
I am not registered at this address, but at my work (because they provide the visa, so they deal with my registration and whatnot). My partner is registered at her mom's apartment, because changing that would be a giant hassle, and it would cause problems as she takes care of things at her mom's place (her mom is elderly and forgetful).

So I a) cannot prove that we are common-law, and b) there is a chance that we can't even be common-law. I need to return to Canada to renew my passport, and get a new visa because my current visa is cancelled when the passport is. The whole process will probably take 2 months. I cannot do it in country. The Canadian Embassy helpfully told me: We take your current passport and cancel it. This also cancels the visa. Then you must wait 5 weeks for a new passport. Um, and how does that work in a country where I need a passport to sneeze? Seriously, I don't understand how that was even an option. Since I can only get time off in the summer, I'll need to leave before we reach the 12 month mark. And since I'm gone for 2 months, that resets the counter to 0 right?

Now I'm sure some of you are saying: Just get married! I would do that in a heartbeat, but, it's not that simple. She needs a visa for most countries. We tried for a US visa, and were refused. She's been refused 3 times for a Canadian TRV. The paperwork to get married in the Scandinavian countries takes around 30+ days for foreigners (having spoken to some of the offices there), but she can only get a visa for 30 days. The other countries require that you be a resident. The last option is Argentina, but I fail to see why I need to fly across the globe, and eliminate the chance of any family members attending my wedding.

We applied for a TRV, so hopefully she would be able to go with me for at least a few weeks before she returns to work. Would that allow to keep the common-law status?

What exactly can I do? I don't want to start the 12 months from 0 again, because that's adding several years to my stay here, and I am not enthusiastic about staying here much longer. I want to have a normal life and a family.

Any ideas?

 

[sunsun]

Are you in UEA right now?

 

[MilesAway]

No, I'm in Russia.

 

[sunsun]

Have you tried in Netherland?

 

[MilesAway]

The Netherlands require that one party be either a citizen or resident there. Same goes for Belgium and Spain. Portugal has given me mixed answers. The nordic countries allow foreigners to get married (not Sweden though, as same-sex marriage must be recognized in both parties' home country/country of residence).

 

[sunsun]

How about Australia?

 

[sunsun]

It's Sunday morning in Canada,may be in afternoon or evening there are senior members will answer it..I have no idea about same sex relationship issue.. Anyway Good Luck..

 

[crassy]

How about Australia?

Australia does not recognise same-sex marriage.

 

[DGT]

What a tough situation. I'm sorry to hear that Russia is so Draconian on this matter. Have you considered applying as a conjugal partner? It is a way of sponsorship where there is significant barrier to you getting married or being together with your partner. It sounds to me as if persecution due to sexual orientation fits into that category. This is the definition from CIC.


"Conjugal partner

A conjugal partner is a foreign national residing outside Canada who is in a conjugal relationship with a sponsor for at least one year, but could not live with the sponsor as a couple. This term applies to both heterosexual and homosexual couples. This category was established for partners of sponsors who normally would present an application as spouse or common-law partner but cannot due to circumstances beyond their control (e. g., immigration barrier, religious reasons or sexual orientation). Thus, they could not live together for a period of at least one year.

In most cases, the foreign partner is also not able to legally marry their sponsor and qualify as a spouse. In all other respects, the couple is similar to a common-law couple or a married couple, meaning they have been in a bona fide (genuine) conjugal relationship for a period of at least one year.

However, a significant degree of attachment and mutually interdependence between both partners must be demonstrated. They must also provide proof of the obstacles or restrictions that prevent cohabitation or marriage."

I hope this helps! And this way maybe you can get married in Canada with friends and family there, rather in a random country on the other side of the world!

 

[sunsun]

I think you should try in South Africa

 

[amikety]

What a tough situation. I'm sorry to hear that Russia is so Draconian on this matter. Have you considered applying as a conjugal partner? It is a way of sponsorship where there is significant barrier to you getting married or being together with your partner. It sounds to me as if persecution due to sexual orientation fits into that category. This is the definition from CIC.


"Conjugal partner

A conjugal partner is a foreign national residing outside Canada who is in a conjugal relationship with a sponsor for at least one year, but could not live with the sponsor as a couple. This term applies to both heterosexual and homosexual couples. This category was established for partners of sponsors who normally would present an application as spouse or common-law partner but cannot due to circumstances beyond their control (e. g., immigration barrier, religious reasons or sexual orientation). Thus, they could not live together for a period of at least one year.

In most cases, the foreign partner is also not able to legally marry their sponsor and qualify as a spouse. In all other respects, the couple is similar to a common-law couple or a married couple, meaning they have been in a bona fide (genuine) conjugal relationship for a period of at least one year.

However, a significant degree of attachment and mutually interdependence between both partners must be demonstrated. They must also provide proof of the obstacles or restrictions that prevent cohabitation or marriage."

I hope this helps! And this way maybe you can get married in Canada with friends and family there, rather in a random country on the other side of the world!

By CIC's standards, her unwillingness to travel to Argentina may disqualify her from conjugal. Futhermore, they are living together. CIC will tell them to wait until they qualify as common law and apply then. I don't think conjugal is an option here.

Those are by CIC's standards, not my personal opinions.

I would consult one of the common law experts on the forum, such as Rob_TO or Sweden for their opinion. The roommate agreement will be sufficient for common law proof in combination with the common law letters, photos, and other proofs. CL is allowed to be apart sometimes, but I don't understand the rules well enough to give a judgment on it.

 

[DGT]

By CIC's standards, her unwillingness to travel to Argentina may disqualify her from conjugal. Futhermore, they are living together. CIC will tell them to wait until they qualify as common law and apply then. I don't think conjugal is an option here.

Those are by CIC's standards, not my personal opinions.

I would consult one of the common law experts on the forum, such as Rob_TO or Sweden for their opinion. The roommate agreement will be sufficient for common law proof in combination with the common law letters, photos, and other proofs. CL is allowed to be apart sometimes, but I don't understand the rules well enough to give a judgment on it.

Hmm. I'm not sure if her unwillingness to get married in Argentina would disqualify her from conjugal. Wouldn't that be contrary to her rights?

I found further definition on the subject on CIC.

"Examples of conjugal partners can be same-sex couples who are legally barred from getting married or opposite-sex couples where one of them is legally married and unable to get divorced. Opposite-sex couples who can get married are most likely unable to apply as conjugal partners. "

So by that rational, if you accept that Same-Sex marriage is legal somewhere in the world, they wouldn't need a provision to state that conjugal partners can be sponsored due to being "Legally Barred from getting Married".

But you may be right about the issue about them currently living together.

OP, you have mentioned that you have to go back to Canada for 2 months or so to get your new passport/visa etc. However, you aren't really taking up residence in Canada again so I think you could still be considered a resident of Russia, and therefore living with your partner. I'm sure people have taken holidays without their partner in the past. It doesn't mean you're not living together anymore.

Perhaps you can wait for your 12 months to come together as Common-Law and explain that you have a very small and subtle amount of evidence due to the fact that your relationship must be kept secret due to discrimination from the authorities.

 

[MilesAway]

Thanks for the advice so far folks.

First off: I did not mention conjugal because we do not qualify for it. I quit my job in Canada and moved here to be with her.

Secondly, we are not opposed to going to Argentina. In fact, I think it would be cool, because it's one of the few countries that we can both visit without visas. However, none of my family will be able to attend, and then I'd have CIC questioning why none of our family members or friends were at the wedding, and why we went so far away to do it. It truly seems like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.

We do have a lot of proof of our relationship, including thousands of messages on Facebook, MSN, and e-mails while we were apart. We met in 2009 when I was there studying Russian. I went back to Canada for a year, had a good job, but after she was refused TRVs, I decided to move back, because the long-distance thing was not fun. So I've been here since August 2011, but only living together since July 2012. The relationship should not be in question, but the cohabitation might be. She has Skype chat logs from talking to my parents, some messages with my brother, and messages from my family members welcoming her to my family. I have letters from friends and co-workers here who know about us, stating that we are a couple, live together, etc. (The co-workers are also teachers, and "westerners" who are more open-minded.)

As for South Africa, I am getting conflicting information about whether non-residents are allowed to marry there. And she needs a visa, so that makes it complicated.

 

[DGT]

Well then! I guess it's a trip to Buenos Aires! With regards to the "no family at the wedding issue", perhaps you can say that you'll be having a separate gathering for family after landing in Canada. I think you have enough mitigating circumstances, as well as all your other proofs. You will get there!

 

[amikety]

Hmm. I'm not sure if her unwillingness to get married in Argentina would disqualify her from conjugal. Wouldn't that be contrary to her rights?

I found further definition on the subject on CIC.

"Examples of conjugal partners can be same-sex couples who are legally barred from getting married or opposite-sex couples where one of them is legally married and unable to get divorced. Opposite-sex couples who can get married are most likely unable to apply as conjugal partners. "

So by that rational, if you accept that Same-Sex marriage is legal somewhere in the world, they wouldn't need a provision to state that conjugal partners can be sponsored due to being "Legally Barred from getting Married".

But you may be right about the issue about them currently living together.

OP, you have mentioned that you have to go back to Canada for 2 months or so to get your new passport/visa etc. However, you aren't really taking up residence in Canada again so I think you could still be considered a resident of Russia, and therefore living with your partner. I'm sure people have taken holidays without their partner in the past. It doesn't mean you're not living together anymore.

Perhaps you can wait for your 12 months to come together as Common-Law and explain that you have a very small and subtle amount of evidence due to the fact that your relationship must be kept secret due to discrimination from the authorities.

I'm basing my opinion on the story of the user Erina. You can look her up and read about her story. OP isn't considering conjugal anyway Just in case you're curious.