Sponsoring husband from Morocco

[ddobro2]

I'm praying for you, Habibti. For what it's worth, when I was "dating" my husband over the phone we would get into some painful fights too, and just like you I would wonder, "why isn't this person meeting me half way?". When we were living together married, the first year we got into some pretty bad, physical fights too. Now we seem to be getting into fewer fights and we make up more quickly. As you can imagine, I was definetely evaulating whether that popular expression, "the first year is always the hardest," would apply to our relationship too. But anyway, it is easier to deal with this when you are physically together because it is just easier to convey nuanced emotions in person than it is through a screen or receiver. And it is harder to ignore or run away from someone when you are living with them. I just don't want you to think about giving up just because of what is happening right now because how you're living right now is NOT the same conditions as you'll have when you're living with him in earnest, the way those b*tches that snicker behind your back live in earnest with their spouses, not through a phone. That is coloring your view of the relationship, Habibti.

Thanks again! I really appreciate you take the time to answer me and that you are willing to talk to him. I really appreciate it. For now, I just feel completely disheartened. I am at my lowest right now. I got a migraine all day and I did not accomplish much.

 

[djinna]

Hubby had to fill out IMM5669 form and bring it to the interview.

I want to apologize for not being active on here and responding to everyone's post. I feel for everyone of you since we are going through this all together. My family had a great loss last Sunday. My Mom passed away after a fierce fight with cancer. I'm lost, numb and angry all at once. My husband is also feeling the same way & worse of not being able to comfort me in the very difficult time other then through a cam. We are getting through this day by day.

I know I still posted to encourage Dair & her husband for their interview but if I posted something that was confusing I apologize.

My husband did the IMM 5669 on the original application.
I'm sorry for your loss and in sha Allah ya rab, she is in a better place. Stay strong and do lots of du3as for her in sha Allah.

salam aleycome

 

[ddobro2]

Yeah, the notes are pretty valuable just for seeing things like that, aren't they? I'm assuming these specific notes about the "lack" of party and "long" wait to file were made pre-interview and not in response to info supplied at the interview? Anyway. You've got an edge looking at them right now. You can already start anticipating what they'll start nitpicking and that way you can perhaps come up with evidence defending your choices based on totally reasonable considerations in anybody else's book. And go ahead and order them every month if you want. I ordered mine a total of 4 times. I might go ahead and re-print that ATIP form just to see what was in my medical records. If I had applied through Rabat, I would have never been accepted. I would have probably been the first file tossed into the "MOC" basket upon culmination of the relationship evidence review process just on the basis of how long we saw each other in person before we got married. So the fact that we had no one at our wedding except for the judge and we waited about 10 months to file would not have helped matters. Sigh, that's why all your Rabat people have my respect.

You know one thing that really bothers me that was in the GCMS notes. They said we did not have a marriage party... when there was photos to the contrary with the app. Just because we did not have hundreds people and I did not change 25 times does NOT mean it was not a party. My husband and I are not overly social people and this party was at his sisters house, he did not want to burden his sister with hords of people. Sheesh... I have seen others marriage party photos and they are really not that much different than mine.

Oh and she asked him why I waited so long to apply ?? ?? ?? Um, 4 months is long when I just paid to go on vacation and for a marriage and for a medical and for police certificates....not to mention I had to pay $1040 for this damn application??? Oh yes VO .. I have money growing on the tree in my backyard I totally forgot... :

This whole thing just reeks of double standards and corruption. If my husband was "friends" with the right people I am sure this would not even be an issue.

I am reordering the notes now that the interview is over ... just out of sheer curiosity.

 

[ddobro2]

Trick question or incompetence?

My hubby was asked why, if we got married in January 2009, why did it take until April 2011 to submit the application. Nice try!! We met for the 1st time in Januray 2009 and were married FEBRUARY 2011!

 

[ddobro2]

I'm so sorry to hear this, Fatima. We're all praying for you and your husband to cope with this as best you can.

Hubby had to fill out IMM5669 form and bring it to the interview.

I want to apologize for not being active on here and responding to everyone's post. I feel for everyone of you since we are going through this all together. My family had a great loss last Sunday. My Mom passed away after a fierce fight with cancer. I'm lost, numb and angry all at once. My husband is also feeling the same way & worse of not being able to comfort me in the very difficult time other then through a cam. We are getting through this day by day.

I know I still posted to encourage Dair & her husband for their interview but if I posted something that was confusing I apologize.

 

[Habibti]

I'm praying for you, Habibti. For what it's worth, when I was "dating" my husband over the phone we would get into some painful fights too, and just like you I would wonder, "why isn't this person meeting me half way?". When we were living together married, the first year we got into some pretty bad, physical fights too. Now we seem to be getting into fewer fights and we make up more quickly. As you can imagine, I was definetely evaulating whether that popular expression, "the first year is always the hardest," would apply to our relationship too. But anyway, it is easier to deal with this when you are physically together because it is just easier to convey nuanced emotions in person than it is through a screen or receiver. And it is harder to ignore or run away from someone when you are living with them. I just don't want you to think about giving up just because of what is happening right now because how you're living right now is NOT the same conditions as you'll have when you're living with him in earnest, the way those b*tches that snicker behind your back live in earnest with their spouses, not through a phone. That is coloring your view of the relationship, Habibti.

Thank you so much ddobro2! The communication problems I have with my husband right now are not serious enough for stopping the process of appeal. I don't think so. I thought so during the weekend as I was feeling empty physically and emotionally. Like my colleague told me this morning, communication is so challenging when you are far from each other. You cannot have immediate response when you don't live together and you have to wait a full week before you can find a time together. During all this time, the misunderstandings pile up and the time and the distance distort everything. I know things would be different if we were under the same roof. My husband and I get along beautifully when we are together. We never fight. It is like a smooth sailing.

What makes things difficult for him is to be with me on msn or writing me emails. He hates it. He is tired of it. It has been 4 years that way. He needs to feel me next to him, to be able to touch me. he is a man after all lol

 

[ddobro2]

That's exactly right what she/you said, articulated beautifully. If the msn's make it worse, then just stop. Maybe you can go old-school for a month and send each other letters by mail (don't forget to spray them with perfume, lol). You'll feel very romantic and old-fashioned doing it. No but seriously, I know that that's a more expensive alternative but if it makes your relationship smoother until 100 days from now when you can finally be in each other's faces already, maybe it's worth the expense. Do you know any women in your town whose husbands are serving abroad in the military? I bet they would have some good advice for you about how to make the wait bearable.

Thank you so much ddobro2! The communication problems I have with my husband right now are not serious enough for stopping the process of appeal. I don't think so. I thought so during the weekend as I was feeling empty physically and emotionally. Like my colleague told me this morning, communication is so challenging when you are far from each other. You cannot have immediate response when you don't live together and you have to wait a full week before you can find a time together. During all this time, the misunderstandings pile up and the time and the distance distort everything. I know things would be different if we were under the same roof. My husband and I get along beautifully when we are together. We never fight. It is like a smooth sailing.

What makes things difficult for him is to be with me on msn or writing me emails. He hates it. He is tired of it. It has been 4 years that way. He needs to feel me next to him, to be able to touch me. he is a man after all lol

 

[djinna]

Hi everyone,

I have a question after the first time the embassy called them for more info about their relationship. How long did u wait until they called you back for whatever reason???
i send the paper on november, got an answer on january. i send for the CSQ on february and at the end of the month got an positive answer. so i was happy that right away they call us for info but i wanna know, now how much we will wait??? in sha Allah, very soon but u never know with agents....

Thanks

 

[dair2dv8103100]

Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your family FatimZahra....very sorry for you loss.

 

[dair2dv8103100]

Baksheesh is the backbone of their life there.

Now on the other hand my friend messaged me today and told me that her husband says it is legit... and to go the faster route. So I don't know I am just going to let my husband decide. It is his money afterall and he is the Moroccan one.

I am just cheap and since it is not part of our everyday lives here it frustrates me. But when you live in it I guess it becomes just a part of how you survive. Where I work we deal with some Egyptian men and they attempt to do the same thing with us here. They bring in gift cards and hot chocolates (not minding those ) Really it is just engrained in them I guess.

Habibti - I appreciate where you husband is at. I am the one in our relationship that is tired of the msn and computer period. I am the one that has to give myself a pep talk everyday when I am on the way home so I don't show my husband how frustrated and discouraged I feel. Really I appreciate your husbands feelings. So kudos to you for sticking it out and moving ahead. I know that if my husband was not this way... we would likely not be here now.

 

[Habibti]

That's exactly right what she/you said, articulated beautifully. If the msn's make it worse, then just stop. Maybe you can go old-school for a month and send each other letters by mail (don't forget to spray them with perfume, lol). You'll feel very romantic and old-fashioned doing it. No but seriously, I know that that's a more expensive alternative but if it makes your relationship smoother until 100 days from now when you can finally be in each other's faces already, maybe it's worth the expense. Do you know any women in your town whose husbands are serving abroad in the military? I bet they would have some good advice for you about how to make the wait bearable.

That is a grand idea! Maybe with a lock of my hair lol

My only concern is that the mail is not reliable. A few times he did not receive my postcards and other envelops I sent were received 6 to 8 weeks after

After the Christmas holidays, I took the habit to phone him twice a week, so he could hear my voice, my laugh and my kisses. So he could feel me closer to him. Unfortunately he lost his mobile phone 10 days ago. Well... like Dair said, I should do like her and give myself a peep talk every week so I don't feel too discouraged.

 

[ddobro2]

That really sucks that the mail delivery in Morocco is not reliable. But I still say you should try. I would be making a copy of every letter before it goes in the postal box for appeal evidence purposes anyway. If he doesn't get the letter, you have the copy to read over the phone. And tell that man to get himself a new phone....he's got a job now, so it shouldn't be too hard. And by the way, I would definetely make your husband's favorable change in employment circumstances (I take it he is working more than before, correct?) a point of evidence for the appeal. They are without question weighing his ability to provide for himself in their decision about whether his desire to immigrate to Canada under Family Class is for genuine purposes or not. I don't know where you are in the appeal preparation process, but I'd be paying close attention to every shred of evidence of your contact since those idiots at Rabat refused the PR. It must be so hard but stay strong, girl! You need to set your sights on that d*mn appeal and show a united front. You are a team!

That is a grand idea! Maybe with a lock of my hair lol

My only concern is that the mail is not reliable. A few times he did not receive my postcards and other envelops I sent were received 6 to 8 weeks after

After the Christmas holidays, I took the habit to phone him twice a week, so he could hear my voice, my laugh and my kisses. So he could feel me closer to him. Unfortunately he lost his mobile phone 10 days ago. Well... like Dair said, I should do like her and give myself a peep talk every week so I don't feel too discouraged.

 

[gladiateur19]

No, I am not giving up... not yet lol lol
My husband did not lose hope. He wants SO MUCH to have a life with me and he is excited to know I am coming in 100 days or so. Last night, he sent me an email to tell me he misses me so much these days, more than usual and that makes him sad. On top of that he is dealing with some serious family problems and the fact I am not next to him to go through all that depresses him. It is just his lack of response, his lack of interest towards me that affects me these days... I share with him things that matter to me, but I feel it does not matter to him or he does not care. And Saturday and Sunday he contacted me around midnight (his time), so he is tired and does not have time and energy left for me.

now i do feel good for you,,,that's what i want you to do,,,please do your best and everything you can to keep your husband with you,,,and never give up,,,you know him for more then 4 years which is enough time to know him better then anybody else,,, being depressed and sad time to time is a normal human thing,especially with this immigration process,sometimes i feel like im loosing my mind,,,lol,it's really hard.
so you are coming in July inshallah it's gonna be Ramadan in it,im sure you have been with him before during this special month,i mean Ramadan,,,
you have a good night and again im happy for both of you guys

 

[dair2dv8103100]

So... forgive my rant but I am really, really irritated...

My husband just told me that he went to do the second medical and guess what...........................

The Dr told him he must have a paper from the embassy to get the 2nd medical!!!!!! WTF?? ??

But the VO told him just go to the same Dr and do the medical again and did not give him anything and did not mention mailing anything to him. Just told him to do it.

I am sooooo friggin irritated with them right now.

SO does anyone know what we are supposed to do? The Dr's secretary called the embassy twice to try and ask someone and of course no one answers... so what do we do?

 

[gladiateur19]

So... forgive my rant but I am really, really irritated...

My husband just told me that he went to do the second medical and guess what...........................

The Dr told him he must have a paper from the embassy to get the 2nd medical!!!!!! WTF?? ??

But the VO told him just go to the same Dr and do the medical again and did not give him anything and did not mention mailing anything to him. Just told him to do it.

I am sooooo friggin irritated with them right now.

SO does anyone know what we are supposed to do? The Dr's secretary called the embassy twice to try and ask someone and of course no one answers... so what do we do?

from what i know,when they ask you to redo your medical test they normally email you a form(the same form the Dr gave you the first time you did the medical)2 of my friends received that from the embassy first and then they took it with them to the Dr