Just feel like venting

[1Wayne1]

At least she's with you. Some people (like me and my wife) are continents away from one another for a long long time (been 19mths so far).....an Immigration lawyer told me 2 years ago that the whole sponsorship process is a relationship killer. I've learned that he was not kidding. My wife and I are hangin in there, but it is hard. The process is ridiculous. wait wait wait wait wait...and then wait some more.

 

[km9203]

I love this! This is so cool and inspiring. For four months I moped around feeling sorry for myself but today I'm officially done. I'm here for two more months and I'm gonna make it count.

Thank you for this wonderful dose of positivity!

Glad it's made you feel more positive!

 

[shortyp2000]

At least she's with you. Some people (like me and my wife) are continents away from one another for a long long time (been 19mths so far).....an Immigration lawyer told me 2 years ago that the whole sponsorship process is a relationship killer. I've learned that he was not kidding. My wife and I are hangin in there, but it is hard. The process is ridiculous. wait wait wait wait wait...and then wait some more.

Exactly. I wouldnt be bitching if i was able to be with my hubby everyday. Trust me, ppl have it much worse. Be greatful u are with ur spouse. There are ao many of us who arent.

 

[kangamoose]

Exactly. I wouldnt be *censored word*ing if i was able to be with my hubby everyday. Trust me, ppl have it much worse. Be greatful u are with ur spouse. There are ao many of us who arent.

Just because someone has it worse off does not invalidate anyone else's feelings, we are all going through something. All of our struggles are different, nobody is in the exact situation as you, we all react to situations differently. Nobody has a right to tell anyone how they should feel, of course we all are grateful that we get to be with our partners but moving to a whole new place, being unable to work and not having your own support network (aside form partner) is tough no matter if your partner is there or not.

 

[SuiGeneris]

Just because someone has it worse off does not invalidate anyone else's feelings, we are all going through something. All of our struggles are different, nobody is in the exact situation as you, we all react to situations differently. Nobody has a right to tell anyone how they should feel, of course we all are grateful that we get to be with our partners but moving to a whole new place, being unable to work and not having your own support network (aside form partner) is tough no matter if your partner is there or not.

Exactly.

Just for the record, a message to those who enjoy making hasty judgements: I've been in a long distance relationship with my now husband for 3 years and we've also gone over 18+ months apart at a time. I know what it's like to be apart, and I also know what it's like to be in limbo.

I used to say that I would never be depressed if I were with my husband, just like you guys. But guess what? I am with him and I am depressed. Anyone can say how they would act in a situation they're not in, then they're in it and they realize that hindsight was 20/20. So slow your roll and ease up on the judgments.

 

[1Wayne1]

My wife and I tried to get her a visa for her to come here and wait it out, but it didn't happen. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if she was here, in limbo, waiting for this process to be finished. I think she'd try to find a kid to babysit (for cash) ,or something to put in her day. My biggest fear would be that she would have no OHIP coverage while waiting. I don't know if there's some type of health coverage people in this situation can get. One trip to emergency could bankrupt a person. Then the people at immigration refuse your sponsorship because of your financial situation !

 

[shortyp2000]

Just because someone has it worse off does not invalidate anyone else's feelings, we are all going through something. All of our struggles are different, nobody is in the exact situation as you, we all react to situations differently. Nobody has a right to tell anyone how they should feel, of course we all are grateful that we get to be with our partners but moving to a whole new place, being unable to work and not having your own support network (aside form partner) is tough no matter if your partner is there or not.

Im not invalidating their feelings. What im saying is that venting on a forum full of thousands of people that want to be with their spouse more than anything else in life that you are with ur spouse is like rubbing salt in a wound.
And just like u said, nobody has the right to tell others how to feel, just as you cant tell me how to feel. I know myself how it feels to be moved to another country to be with ur spouse and it isnt always bliss. I hate having to put my life at risk and stay in a 3rd world country in order to be with my husband while others get to be with theirs. So this post just kinda gets to me. I wouldnt complain. Make the most of the time you have together, and enjoy. Thousands of us are praying that some day, some year we can be reunited instead of missing anniversarys, birthdays, special events over and over.

 

[1Wayne1]

Im not invalidating their feelings. What im saying is that venting on a forum full of thousands of people that want to be with their spouse more than anything else in life that you are with ur spouse is like rubbing salt in a wound.
And just like u said, nobody has the right to tell others how to feel, just as you cant tell me how to feel. I know myself how it feels to be moved to another country to be with ur spouse and it isnt always bliss. I hate having to put my life at risk and stay in a 3rd world country in order to be with my husband while others get to be with theirs. So this post just kinda gets to me. I wouldnt complain. Make the most of the time you have together, and enjoy. Thousands of us are praying that some day, some year we can be reunited instead of missing anniversarys, birthdays, special events over and over.

Well said Shorty

 

[jamsham12]

Exactly. I wouldnt be *censored word*ing if i was able to be with my hubby everyday. Trust me, ppl have it much worse. Be greatful u are with ur spouse. There are ao many of us who arent.

Agreed no matter how bad people from visa exempt countries like me have it at least I know if I miss my partner I can visit her when I want, some people don't have that luxury so I think people should put things in perspective before taking the small things for granted like having the ability to see your spouse/partner some applicants cannot see their significant other until the process is over which can take years.

 

[kangamoose]

Im not invalidating their feelings. What im saying is that venting on a forum full of thousands of people that want to be with their spouse more than anything else in life that you are with ur spouse is like rubbing salt in a wound.
And just like u said, nobody has the right to tell others how to feel, just as you cant tell me how to feel. I know myself how it feels to be moved to another country to be with ur spouse and it isnt always bliss. I hate having to put my life at risk and stay in a 3rd world country in order to be with my husband while others get to be with theirs. So this post just kinda gets to me. I wouldnt complain. Make the most of the time you have together, and enjoy. Thousands of us are praying that some day, some year we can be reunited instead of missing anniversarys, birthdays, special events over and over.

Its not rubbing salt into the wound for people who are having a hard time to come onto a forum to vent and look for support from people in a similar situation, because there are people here who can empathize. Your post really got to me and I stand by what I said. You have no idea the struggles individuals are going through. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone on this forum that has not been separated from their spouse at some point. I have, I know how much it sux, I know what it feels like to miss him like crazy, miss birthdays and holidays. I know I'm lucky to be able to be here and I said that but that doesn't mean that there aren't things I struggle with.

 

[TracyCa64]

Sometimes it only takes one person to say something positive and uplifting to someone who may really need that. Everyone's end goal is the same, so we can always relate in some way with others.

Those of us that are able to be with our partners/spouses are grateful, but it does not mean that everything else is always going to be perfect. Life isn't easy sometimes. The whole transition is a process and it can affect each person differently. It's not fair to tell someone that just being with your partner/spouse should be all you need to be happy. Yes, it is a huge thing, but giving up your whole life to be together is huge as well. Sometimes it takes time.

Thanks to everyone on this forum who takes the time to make a difference in each others journeys.

 

[shortyp2000]

Its not rubbing salt into the wound for people who are having a hard time to come onto a forum to vent and look for support from people in a similar situation, because there are people here who can empathize. Your post really got to me and I stand by what I said. You have no idea the struggles individuals are going through. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone on this forum that has not been separated from their spouse at some point. I have, I know how much it sux, I know what it feels like to miss him like crazy, miss birthdays and holidays. I know I'm lucky to be able to be here and I said that but that doesn't mean that there aren't things I struggle with.

It is most definitely rubbing salt in the wound. Like telling a starving person your sandwich sucks.
You know what sucks more than sitting at home being bored with your spouse?
Giving birth to a child without your husband, all alone via c-section while you are scared to death because the baby is premature. While hoping your baby does not die, then finding out that you have to be in the hospital with him 24/7 due to a respiratory virus then finding out the same baby has to have 2 life saving kidney operations and you have nobody to stay with your other 4 children at home, and your hubby is 2000 miles away and Canada refuses to let him see his child before he possibly dies.
So ya, that gets to me when people like myself are in that situation and others are complaining they are bored at home. Get some perspective. Id love to be in your shoes.

 

[cdgtoyyz]

It is most definitely rubbing salt in the wound. Like telling a starving person your sandwich sucks.
You know what sucks more than sitting at home being bored with your spouse?
Giving birth to a child without your husband, all alone via c-section while you are scared to death because the baby is premature. While hoping your baby does not die, then finding out that you have to be in the hospital with him 24/7 due to a respiratory virus then finding out the same baby has to have 2 life saving kidney operations and you have nobody to stay with your other 4 children at home, and your hubby is 2000 miles away and Canada refuses to let him see his child before he possibly dies.
So ya, that gets to me when people like myself are in that situation and others are complaining they are bored at home. Get some perspective. Id love to be in your shoes.

Congratulations - You're the most miserable and hard-done-by of all of us.

To InLoveWithAnAmerican, I definitely feel you. But when all is said and done these months in limbo will pass and they'll be completely worth it. In a couple of years you and your partner won't even remember how frustrated/anxious you feel now. Good luck!

 

[almostthere1234]

I'm not sure if shortyp hates Canada or is living here just to hold some "status" in front of her family or if she likes to show how screwed and miserable her life is.
In any of this cases it's hilarious how she suffers more than anyoneelse in the whole world.
More then people from Syria, for example.
You're so frustrated without being with your husband (which really hurts) but can't consider the fact to going back to your home country to be with him just because it's a "3rd world country".
Sorry for your baby.

 

[shortyp2000]

I'm not sure if shortyp hates Canada or is living here just to hold some "status" in front of her family or if she likes to show how screwed and miserable her life is.
In any of this cases it's hilarious how she suffers more than anyoneelse in the whole world.
More then people from Syria, for example.
You're so frustrated without being with your husband (which really hurts) but can't consider the fact to going back to your home country to be with him just because it's a "3rd world country".
Sorry for your baby.

Obviously you dont know what you are talking about. I am a natural born Canadian, and so is the rest of my family so I dont need to show any kind of status to them, whatever that was supposed to mean.
And of course Im miserable when Im not with my husband, because apparently missing my husband is an awful thing to you? Of course people have it worse than me. Thats what im trying to say to OP, people have it worse than their post of "poor me, i have to hang out with my spouse and be bored".
They are upset and frustrated that they have nothing to do but stay at home with their spouse when there are thousands of people on this forum who havent seen their spouses in months or years.
If you think my life is so miserable because i miss my husband then you are right. Because i have a legit marriage. Anyone who thinks its absurd to miss their spouse obviously doesnt love them.
You say people can have it worse than others, and that was my whole point. This post was complaining about being bored and financially struggling but living life with their spouse. Theres much more that could be wrong in the OP's life and thats a drop in the ocean compare to what others go thru.