Just feel like venting

[InLoveWithAnAmerican]

I'm a 29 year old chef and i'm working my ass off to support my wife of 16 months. My wife loves me so much shes moving here to Ontario to live with me in the GTA. She is 22 girl from Arizona who comes from a good family we met online playing video games 4 years ago and the rest is history.

Now i understand things are just the way they are, but this poor girl has her entire life on hold she cant start school or even get a simple serving job so she can make some friends. shes just stuck in limbo taking care of our house while i work more then i want to to support both of us, so she doesn't get to see me much either.

This entire process is so destructive to our relationship. its not gonna take us down but its been such an anchor on us as a young couple trying to make it work. I cant tell you how strong she is but watching her struggle with having to chose between working in the states while we wait or waiting in canada with me on bullshit "visits" just so we can be close together like we should be

What the hell does this all have to be so punishing for? just let the damn girl get a stupid job so we can have better lives, or atleast start saving some $ for her school. money is tight we broke thank god our families our supporting our relationship or we'd sink so damn fast because of this joke.

hopefully we get a visa before Christmas

Anyways here's to being lonely and broke without any opportunities. Atleast we got love

 

[scylla]

If it makes you feel any better, it would have been no different if you were the one who had moved to the US. (I have two friends who are going through this right now and are equally frustrated.)

Either way (either country) the applicant is typically stuck and unable to work or attend school for a period of time. That's just how it is.

Be thankful you can actually be together and the US outland processing times are relatively short. There are people on this forum who have spouses who can't even visit Canada and are facing 2+ year processing times. There's always a silver lining. And there are people much worse off than you.

 

[Aquakitty]

We all have to go through it, bottom line is, life is not always fair. I'd love to live in a Utopian "Star Trek" society where we all work for the good of mankind instead of for the whims of government and money. But alas we have to deal with reality.

We waited 8 freaking years to do this process. Try being stuck in limbo for 8 years! At least you are together. Many people on here are stuck apart.

Regarding her school, she could always do what my husband did, and take at least the first 2 years online at an American community college in her home state (home state for cheaper or free college classes). My husband's US Pell and other grants paid for his first 2 years of school 100% + extra money on the side. You have to be pretty self-motivated to take courses online though.

Also, visitors are allowed to take programs of under 6 months, so she could see what your local college offers for certificates.

 

[mikeymyke]

Well you have to remember 2 things. One is that the family class applicants from the US probably have the easiest path to PR. Second is that there are many applicants who have processing times of 2+ years, and whose spouses normally get denied a tourist visa to Canada. US applicants can come and go extremely easily across the border, also USA is the country located closest to Canada, so visitors from there don't have to have a long flight.

Also, you're only 4 months into the process, most people don't have their applications finalized until the 6 month mark on average. Relax you're near the finish line.

 

[Rob_TO]

Why didn't you start her PR process closer to 16 months ago after you got married? She would probably already be a PR by now as most US citizen apps takes less than 1 year to complete.

For working, the only options for US citizens are:
- SWAP program (for those recently graduated)
- if she has a degree/experience in a job field covered under NAFTA: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/tools/temp/work/international/nafta.asp (section 3.8 )
- if she can find an employer willing to go through LMIA process for a closed work permit

 

[ChellyCat]

I'm a 29 year old chef and i'm working my ass off to support my wife of 16 months. My wife loves me so much shes moving here to Ontario to live with me in the GTA. She is 22 girl from Arizona who comes from a good family we met online playing video games 4 years ago and the rest is history.

Now i understand things are just the way they are, but this poor girl has her entire life on hold she cant start school or even get a simple serving job so she can make some friends. shes just stuck in limbo taking care of our house while i work more then i want to to support both of us, so she doesn't get to see me much either.

This entire process is so destructive to our relationship. its not gonna take us down but its been such an anchor on us as a young couple trying to make it work. I cant tell you how strong she is but watching her struggle with having to chose between working in the states while we wait or waiting in canada with me on bull*censored word* "visits" just so we can be close together like we should be

What the hell does this all have to be so punishing for? just let the damn girl get a stupid job so we can have better lives, or atleast start saving some $ for her school. money is tight we broke thank god our families our supporting our relationship or we'd sink so damn fast because of this joke.

hopefully we get a visa before Christmas

Anyways here's to being lonely and broke without any opportunities. Atleast we got love

Hey, I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from. I'm your wife in this situation- 23-year-old stuck here unable to work/go to school while my boyfriend works way too much. It's SO hard. Some days it completely takes me over and I feel so lost and helpless while my life is on hold. Lately I had a friend give me some good advice that I try to remember on the bad days: Relationships all go through their share of problems. If we can make it through this, we can make it through anything. It's only temporary in the grand scheme of things, and from the other side, it'll all have been worth it and make us stronger as a couple in the end.

I'm in the GTA as well, so if she needs a buddy, send her my way Best of luck to you guys.

 

[Aquakitty]

Why didn't you start her PR process closer to 16 months ago after you got married? She would probably already be a PR by now as most US citizen apps takes less than 1 year to complete.

For working, the only options for US citizens are:
- SWAP program (for those recently graduated)
- if she has a degree/experience in a job field covered under NAFTA: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/tools/temp/work/international/nafta.asp (section 3.8)
- if she can find an employer willing to go through LMIA process for a closed work permit

As a bonus, if she registers for (can't recall if 3 or 4 courses is full time in USA) courses at a college in the USA, she would qualify as a student for SWAP.

But yea if your relationship is in upheaval over a mere 4 months of not working, I have some worries about it : You have to get creative and look at the possibilities (legal possibilities that is) on how to go out and progress your life even though you are in "limbo" as you say.

 

[jamsham12]

Why didn't you start her PR process closer to 16 months ago after you got married? She would probably already be a PR by now as most US citizen apps takes less than 1 year to complete.

For working, the only options for US citizens are:
- SWAP program (for those recently graduated)
- if she has a degree/experience in a job field covered under NAFTA: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/tools/temp/work/international/nafta.asp (section 3.8)
- if she can find an employer willing to go through LMIA process for a closed work permit

SWAP is amazing I used that to establish cohabitation with my partner , I only wish you could renew the work permit, but all in all I would highly suggest u.s citizens looking to stay with their partner and be able to work to use that program.

 

[shortyp2000]

Hey, at least you get to come home to her. Some of us dont see our spouses for months or over a year!

 

[ChellyCat]

SWAP is amazing I used that to establish cohabitation with my partner , I only wish you could renew the work permit, but all in all I would highly suggest u.s citizens looking to stay with their partner and be able to work to use that program.

I originally moved to Canada through SWAP and that's how I met my boyfriend xD Sadly it's long expired now and I have no choice but to stay on visitor status until PR goes through. Definitely wish it could be renewed.

 

[Aquakitty]

I originally moved to Canada through SWAP and that's how I met my boyfriend xD Sadly it's long expired now and I have no choice but to stay on visitor status until PR goes through. Definitely wish it could be renewed.

Yea the laid down the law on that, way back in 2006 when my now-husband did it, they extended his work permit for it. Back then though they only gave 6 months.

 

[ChellyCat]

Yea the laid down the law on that, way back in 2006 when my now-husband did it, they extended his work permit for it. Back then though they only gave 6 months.

It just depends on the agreement Canada has with certain countries. I met people from Ireland for example who get 2 years. I don't know why US only gets one considering we are neighbours!

 

[TracyCa64]

She could always look into volunteering. For me, volunteering was a way to get myself out of the house, be around people and do something to make me feel more independent. I volunteer twice a week at a long term care facility. I learned the bus routes so I could take the bus to get around town.

It can be hard when you leave your whole life behind and then have to start over, but being together is pretty important. I would not change it.

Hang in there, it will all work out.

 

[Sunset0505]

I left Canada 10 years ago to move to the States to be with my American husband...the plan was always to return together to Canada, ...we started the process 2006/2007...we statred with an approved TRP/Rehab and April 2014 submitted PR application....At that time applications from the US were getting approved in around 6 months...based on Case notes that is how our case was worked until it sat for 9 month...and I am not kidding the only movement in the case was my request for Case notes...they started working on the case again around end of May 2015...We have had two request for MEDS simce May one with info in EMED file one with nothing and no response to the DR office, they have asked 4 times now and 2 requests by the CIC Help Desk with no response...CIC request an enitre new Rehab Application which we still cant figure out based onthe CIC site, more time has passed, etc...MY Mother is in Vancouver and has Alzheimers and is getting worse each and every day...she was put in a home when we starting getting all the info for the PR in 2013..We kinda figured we would be there by now...My daughter is having my first Grandchild in January...and we live in Virginia and have to go to a Rehab/PR intereview in NOV in LA at a cost of $2K for hotel and airfare.....waiting sucks and we are all facing life issues...Your wife should try volunteering in the field she wants to work...not only will it keep her busy it will look good on a resume but will give her contacts once approved....

 

[o6ocpaka]

I'm a 29 year old chef and i'm working my ass off to support my wife of 16 months. My wife loves me so much shes moving here to Ontario to live with me in the GTA. She is 22 girl from Arizona who comes from a good family we met online playing video games 4 years ago and the rest is history.

Now i understand things are just the way they are, but this poor girl has her entire life on hold she cant start school or even get a simple serving job so she can make some friends. shes just stuck in limbo taking care of our house while i work more then i want to to support both of us, so she doesn't get to see me much either.

This entire process is so destructive to our relationship. its not gonna take us down but its been such an anchor on us as a young couple trying to make it work. I cant tell you how strong she is but watching her struggle with having to chose between working in the states while we wait or waiting in canada with me on bull*censored word* "visits" just so we can be close together like we should be

What the hell does this all have to be so punishing for? just let the damn girl get a stupid job so we can have better lives, or atleast start saving some $ for her school. money is tight we broke thank god our families our supporting our relationship or we'd sink so damn fast because of this joke.

hopefully we get a visa before Christmas

Anyways here's to being lonely and broke without any opportunities. Atleast we got love

I think a lot of people can share your situation here...What can I say, CIC likes to play with people's lives...its their thing, I guess that takes a special kind of people to work there