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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

Aruntocanada

Star Member
Feb 21, 2016
158
28
NOC Code......
0124
Thanks a lot for your review !

I largely agree to you however , I actually ran out of ideas due to the short time of 40 min.

Just curious if With all these errors does the English level qualify for 7 ?

Don’t get me wrong - I am not after 8 or 7.5 - just 7 no more no less .
 

velocityblood

Star Member
Jan 4, 2019
189
44
India
Category........
FSW
NOC Code......
2141
Thanks a lot for your review !

I largely agree to you however , I actually ran out of ideas due to the short time of 40 min.

Just curious if With all these errors does the English level qualify for 7 ?

Don’t get me wrong - I am not after 8 or 7.5 - just 7 no more no less .
7 is tough game I think as band descriptor says that relevant ideas, with explanation, you have missed examples in Body Paragraphs.

I think you need to increase the target at least to 7.5 bands, targeting 7 is not enough.


When are you planning for IELTS? Location?
 

Aruntocanada

Star Member
Feb 21, 2016
158
28
NOC Code......
0124
7 is tough game I think as band descriptor says that relevant ideas, with explanation, you have missed examples in Body Paragraphs.

I think you need to increase the target at least to 7.5 bands, targeting 7 is not enough.


When are you planning for IELTS? Location?
I see ... I am planning to write ielts on either 23rd May or 1 June .location bhopal India
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
7 is tough game I think as band descriptor says that relevant ideas, with explanation, you have missed examples in Body Paragraphs.

I think you need to increase the target at least to 7.5 bands, targeting 7 is not enough.


When are you planning for IELTS? Location?
In my opinion key to scoring 7 is to make sure your Task Response is good and unambiguous. If you read my past reviews I have always harped on this point in almost all my reviews. My logic is as follows. As all of you know the 4 criteria for scoring are Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resources and Grammatical range.

Out of the 4 .. If you nail Task response you will likely score good in the second criteria as well. It is very difficult to write a good task response without being coherent. They generally go hand in hand.

The other two criteria are very difficult to improve in short time period. You may learn lot of new words to score in lexical resources. But in exam conditions under pressure chances are you may not use a word correctly or you may forget the correct spelling.

The last one Grammatical range is the most difficult to fix in the short term. The best you can do is to make sure you are not committing really basic grammar mistakes.

Now coming back to Task Response. Many candidates here on the forum have questioned me is IELTS really looking at validity of the arguments or just testing English. My guess is this question stems from many websites where they say that IELTS is a test of English and not really logic. But I think in most places this is said about the speaking test and many people wrongly apply the same logic to the writing task as well. If logic didn't matter they would not have Task Response as one of the criteria. The biggest challenge is this looks like a subjective criteria and difficult to figure out what is a good task response.

My suggestion is keep it very simple and logical. Now what does that mean. If you (meaning anyone on this thread for advice) read many previous essay and reviews you will see a common pattern - People are trying too hard to "sound intelligent" and in the process complicating simple essays. It is a very natural thing to do. There was a time that in almost every essay people were writing "This has profound impact on society and economics" so much so that I had to write this in my summary post https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485 point 2.4

Please remember the people who read and evaluate your essays are probably high school English teachers. With no disrespect to them but it is almost impossible for any human being to know everything about everything. Hence, it is good to keep things simple. When you are writing an essay think how would you explain and justify your stand to a layman. Do not complicate things.

Also, work on the logic progression of your argument. One common technique that is being taught everywhere including reviews here on this thread is to present one idea per paragraph and start with main idea, then supporting idea and then example. It is not necessary that if you follow this technique you are writing something convincing or logical.

Let me give an example. Let's say topic is something like "Many countries are spending lots of money on space exploration. Some people think it is good to spend on space programs while others argue money should be spent on other things. What do you think?"

Now let's say you agree in your essay that money should be spent on space programs and now you are writing BP1 following the technique

BP1 Example: Space exploration spending is an imperative in this day and age where the threat from extra terrestrial elements has been proven to be a reality. (main argument) It is important that governments safeguard the interests of their citizens and their security by building space armies. (supporting line ) In the recent NASA publication on extra terrestrial life it was proven that number of UFO sighting have increased 50 times in last decade and war with aliens is a possibility in next decade. (example/evidence line)

So, technically the above paragraph follows the "structure" and I would guess the English is also not so bad but is it a good paragraph for IELTS task 2?
 

velocityblood

Star Member
Jan 4, 2019
189
44
India
Category........
FSW
NOC Code......
2141
In my opinion key to scoring 7 is to make sure your Task Response is good and unambiguous. If you read my past reviews I have always harped on this point in almost all my reviews. My logic is as follows. As all of you know the 4 criteria for scoring are Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resources and Grammatical range.

Out of the 4 .. If you nail Task response you will likely score good in the second criteria as well. It is very difficult to write a good task response without being coherent. They generally go hand in hand.

The other two criteria are very difficult to improve in short time period. You may learn lot of new words to score in lexical resources. But in exam conditions under pressure chances are you may not use a word correctly or you may forget the correct spelling.

The last one Grammatical range is the most difficult to fix in the short term. The best you can do is to make sure you are not committing really basic grammar mistakes.

Now coming back to Task Response. Many candidates here on the forum have questioned me is IELTS really looking at validity of the arguments or just testing English. My guess is this question stems from many websites where they say that IELTS is a test of English and not really logic. But I think in most places this is said about the speaking test and many people wrongly apply the same logic to the writing task as well. If logic didn't matter they would not have Task Response as one of the criteria. The biggest challenge is this looks like a subjective criteria and difficult to figure out what is a good task response.

My suggestion is keep it very simple and logical. Now what does that mean. If you (meaning anyone on this thread for advice) read many previous essay and reviews you will see a common pattern - People are trying too hard to "sound intelligent" and in the process complicating simple essays. It is a very natural thing to do. There was a time that in almost every essay people were writing "This has profound impact on society and economics" so much so that I had to write this in my summary post https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485 point 2.4

Please remember the people who read and evaluate your essays are probably high school English teachers. With no disrespect to them but it is almost impossible for any human being to know everything about everything. Hence, it is good to keep things simple. When you are writing an essay think how would you explain and justify your stand to a layman. Do not complicate things.

Also, work on the logic progression of your argument. One common technique that is being taught everywhere including reviews here on this thread is to present one idea per paragraph and start with main idea, then supporting idea and then example. It is not necessary that if you follow this technique you are writing something convincing or logical.

Let me give an example. Let's say topic is something like "Many countries are spending lots of money on space exploration. Some people think it is good to spend on space programs while others argue money should be spent on other things. What do you think?"

Now let's say you agree in your essay that money should be spent on space programs and now you are writing BP1 following the technique

BP1 Example: Space exploration spending is an imperative in this day and age where the threat from extra terrestrial elements has been proven to be a reality. (main argument) It is important that governments safeguard the interests of their citizens and their security by building space armies. (supporting line ) In the recent NASA publication on extra terrestrial life it was proven that number of UFO sighting have increased 50 times in last decade and war with aliens is a possibility in next decade. (example/evidence line)

So, technically the above paragraph follows the "structure" and I would guess the English is also not so bad but is it a good paragraph for IELTS task 2?
Yes I agree to this and I did not felt satisfied with the task response that's why I have given examples for Ideas. Actually task response can be only achieved if we analyze the topic logically.
 
Last edited:
Mar 23, 2019
14
2
Yes I would also suggest to keep it simple for conclusion. You don’t want any confusion that you wrote a conclusion paragraph.

The second thing as you said is not mandatory but helps if you’re not an advanced level writer. Just keeps things simple.

From what I have seen by reviewing numerous essay on this forum is that people come here since they can’t get to 7 and are stuck at 6.5 but secretly in their head they actually want to score a 8/8.5 because it is tough to accept that a stupid test is telling them they can’t write English. And hence keep writing “complex” stuff. At the end of the day IELTS is an exam and the examiners are trained to look at an essay in a certain way. So, if your target is a 7 then try to just keep things simple. Do not try too many things unless you really need an 8+ score.

If you read my very initial reviews on this forum I used to give feedback on vocab etc but then I realised that is not very important. It is very difficult to improve vocab in shor period of time so that feedback doesn’t really help. When I started giving feedback on just the structure of essay and forced people to avoid very common mistakes many of the candidates did score 7.

So, if your goal is 7 then read my long post again on common mistakes and avoid those. If you want to score an 8+ this thread possibly can’t help you.
Hi. Do reply. I also stuck at 6.5. Pls tell hw can i improve
 

tbamrah

Star Member
Feb 5, 2018
53
4
@H0peAndFa1th @cansha , please evaluate this essay

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?


Physical well-being of obese people is dropping drastically in some western nations. The main reason behind this issue is increased consumption of fast-foods and can be solved by launching awareness campaigns about this lifestyle.


Principle cause of decreased wellness among over-weight people is the consumption of fast-foods. While there is a convienience of having such foods anywhere-anytime, the ill-effects are too many. Not only do these foods have bad nutritional value, they also induce illnesses like diabities and high blood pressure. According to a recent survey conducted in the USA, more than 50 percent of the citizens were suffering from heart diseases because they were having atleast 2 hamburgers every day.


To tackle this problem of obesity due to fast-food consumption, the government should launch an educational campaign teaching the harmfull effects of such food items. The primary aim of such a campaign should be to educate people about dangers associated with these eatery items, mainly the components with which these are prepared, and the lack of vitamins and minerals, that the human body need, in them. After the comencement of a campaigning drive that shed light on this matter in China in 2015, a 30 percent reduction in the consumption of these foods was recorded throughout the country.


To conclude, having a weight more than the average mark, results in a lower level of bodily wellness and the main reason is increased usage of fast-food items, which can be overcame through an initiation by the state creating awareness among the general public about the drawbacks of consuming such foods.
 
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Mar 23, 2019
14
2
@velocityblood @H0peAndFa1th @cansha kindly evaluate
Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of product producers to avoid extra packaging of products?
The trend of over packaging of goods and products has been rising over the world. Producers are trying to allure consumers through attractive packaging, meanwhile it also forges monopoly in the market of competition. I believe that admittedly, manufactures should stop doing this futile exercise to attract people however, consumers should also contribute to lessen the gravity of this development.

To commence with, it is the primary responsibility of producers as cost of packaging is added to the actual price of product and eventually, it gives rise to the inflation in market. To cite an example, most of the pharmaceutical companies spend massive amount of their budget on over packaging in order to make the appearance better. As a result, individuals have to pay the cost of this additional expenditure. At times, the quality of goods is also compromised to make their products cost effective in this cut-throat competition. Moreover, the material which is used to fulfill this unnecessary task, is non-biodegradable which implies more pollution in the world. Therefore, the onus in on producers to stop this menace.

Additionally, a fewer steps from the consumer side can be utilitarian to curb this development as they should stop purchasing products with excessive packaging which is of no concern. In turns, producers would eventually stop producing goods with extra packaging such as shimmering covers, double packaging and so forth. For instance, the over packaging of food items available in market is indeed a wastage of resources which further leads pessimistic impacts in society. Even more, it is a need of the time and age to come forward proactively and do something for environment.

To recapitulate, the augmenting concern of over packaging can be eliminated by joint efforts of producers and consumers , however, the major responsibility is on the shoulders of manufactures as they are the solely accountable for the production of goods and products.
 
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tbamrah

Star Member
Feb 5, 2018
53
4
@velocityblood @H0peAndFa1th @cansha kindly evaluate
Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of product producers to avoid extra packaging of products?
The trend of over packaging of goods and products has been rising over the world. Producers are trying to allure consumers through attractive packaging, meanwhile it also forges monopoly in the market of competition. I believe that admittedly, manufactures should stop doing this futile exercise to attract people however, consumers should also contribute to lessen the gravity of this development.

To commence with, it is the primary responsibility of producers as cost of packaging is added to the actual price of product and eventually, it gives rise to the inflation in market. To cite an example, most of the pharmaceutical companies spend massive amount of their budget on over packaging in order to make the appearance better. As a result, individuals have to pay the cost of this additional expenditure. At times, the quality of goods is also compromised to make their products cost effective in this cut-throat competition. Moreover, the material which is used to fulfill this unnecessary task, is non-biodegradable which implies more pollution in the world. Therefore, the onus in on producers to stop this menace.

Additionally, a fewer steps from the consumer side can be utilitarian to curb this development as they should stop purchasing products with excessive packaging which is of no concern. In turns, producers would eventually stop producing goods with extra packaging such as shimmering covers, double packaging and so forth. For instance, the over packaging of food items available in market is indeed a wastage of resources which further leads pessimistic impacts in society. Even more, it is a need of the time and age to come forward proactively and do something for environment.

To recapitulate, the augmenting concern of over packaging can be eliminated by joint efforts of producers and consumers , however, the major responsibility is on the shoulders of manufactures as they are the solely accountable for the production of goods and products.
Is it a discussion essay or agree/disagree essay? Getting confused here
 

Aruntocanada

Star Member
Feb 21, 2016
158
28
NOC Code......
0124
7 is tough game I think as band descriptor says that relevant ideas, with explanation, you have missed examples in Body Paragraphs.

I think you need to increase the target at least to 7.5 bands, targeting 7 is not enough.


When are you planning for IELTS? Location?


I have checked the band descriptor and figured, I was quite close to 7 after checking:


https://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/sites/default/files/ielts_task_2_writing_band_descriptors.pdf



I am not challenging your review however does not want this to demotivate me! Please let me know your thoughts!
 
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Aruntocanada

Star Member
Feb 21, 2016
158
28
NOC Code......
0124
Team and senior member - I intentionally picked this topic as the response might largly overlap, though response or point can be simpler. I tried to write precisely to avoid any confusion or overlapping. this way I challenged my writing as wanted to see how would I do perform in such a tricky scenario.


Please pay some attention and let me know if I followed a right of writing/handling confusing essays like this: Thanks in advance!

@H0peAndFa1th @H0peAndFa1th


Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy?


It has been seen recently that, nations are inclined towards the usage of solar power as a sources of the energy for their domestic consumption due to the fact that it is environment friendly. While opting, it helps conserving other resources like coal and fuel however solar energy mandatorily needs climate support to function.


Solar energy is an Eco-friendly way to harness the sunlight into consumable energy as this process does not emit hazardous gases like carbon-dioxide while originating electricity as opposed to our conventional method of electricity production.Furthermore, countries usually take this factor into consideration while developing a parallel system for power as this not only save their own citizen but also enhance the overall natural health of our planet.


Since, production of energy using solar system, needs sunlight, it saves lots of other sacred resources like coal and fuel which can be utilized for other purposes. This way a few countries can certainly save hefty amount of money which would be required to import other form of supplies which are essential for power generation.


On the other hand, solar power generation heavily rely on climatic assistance as the whole process can only undergo in the presence of sunlight. Therefore, areas where the sun usually shine for less time would not be able to develop adequate amount of power.


To conclude, countries are taking solar energy as a secondary source of energy because the whole process does not harm the environment as it take sunlight as an input. The upside about solar energy is that it does not need coal or fuel to operate however it does require natural support in the form of sun light in order to work.
hello @H0peAndFa1th- please check this- many thanks in advance!
 

Aruntocanada

Star Member
Feb 21, 2016
158
28
NOC Code......
0124
As countries develop, more and more people buy their cars. Do the advantages for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?



Almost every developing country is after development though it has its own upside and downside. With this development, owning a car is an increasingly prevailing among citizen due to the fact that its is a fast and safe method of travel however, it does impact our overall natural health.


When any city develops, people often need to travel quite a far for either work or shopping, as usually residential areas are not always near to downtown, which consume considerable amount to time to reach via public transport on daily basis. Moreover, more people prefer to opt to keep a car due to the fact that it is fast, in most case, to reach destination also provide optimum safety for the traveler in odd timings. There are instances when people usually reaches to their destination in almost half time compared to public transport.


On the other hand, prevalent practice to own the private car has also dire consequences over our environment as car emits hazardous gas like carbon-dioxide. Furthermore, polluted environment will lead to worse air quality which is more likely to impact the citizen of the nation in the form of diseases like Asthma etc. To illustrate, there was a study on the air quality of Delhi which depicted that up to 80% people are prone to catch respiratory disease in next few year.


To conclude, with the development people incline towards buying their own car as it provide them security and quick service. Whereas, this trend is also hampering our environment by the dangerous gases being emitted by cars. I opine that alternative fuel or another type of car like electric car needs to be introduced to reduce this effect.

@H0peAndFa1th - please see if this qualifies 7 - I am affirmative that it does but not sure seek your view. on the top of it, request to all member please be supportive and motivating - we are learning this !

Thanks in advance!
 
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cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
Hi. Do reply. I also stuck at 6.5. Pls tell hw can i improve
Start by writing proper English on forum and not use the text lingo. You may think it is a small thing but it does impact your writing.

Pls -> Please
hw-> How
i -> I (capital)
and question mark ? is missing at the end of a question based sentence.

I know you probably wrote that in hurry or casually. My only point is from this point onward try writing proper English sentences even if you are writing a text / casual stuff. Trust me it will help.