IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Moeedkh]

Write a letter to a friend, who works in a foreign country, expressing your interest to seek employment in a different country.
Your letter should include:
· why you want to work in a different country
· what type of work you will be looking for –
· questions you have about working in a different country that your friend may be able to answer

Hi Wilson,

Hope you are doing good. I am writing this letter to tell you that I searching for a job in Canada. I want to move to your country because it offers a better lifestyle and social security, which is not available in most of the countries. Besides, I always admired the beautiful landscape and weather of Canada.

As you know that I have been working as a telecom engineer for last 10 years, I am interested in a similar role in any of the telecom service providers in Canada. It would be helpful if you can connect me to any of your friends working in a similar industry. Moreover, I would like to know about licensing requirements to work as a professional engineer in Canada as I have heard that, I will have to take an exam for it. Could you please share more information about it and how can I prepare for it.

Looking forward to hear from you soon.


Regards,

AMK

 

[virendera84]

Disclaimer: As a writer of this thread, I never got more or less than 6.5 in writing.

I am stuck at 6.5 bands in writing, got personal training from ex-ielts examiner, she explained alot, but still no avail, read books/info/tutorials from various ex-examiners, such as ielts-simon.com, Ryan higgins (ieltsielts.com), ielts Liz and many others I can't remember now.

My other maximum scores, Reading: 9 ( in both AC & GT), Listening: 8.5 , Speaking: 7.5, in short: Reading depends on your vocabulary, Listening and Speaking is luck. I admit that my grammar is weak, at least I feel that.

enough about me, Let's Talk business.

in this forum, there are many others like me, So I want to focus only on writing.

Feedback From IDP on writing


This is just a starting, I will add learning material, essays, essay analysis, written essays by me etc.

Let's admit that, we fail at writing and there is no conspiracy theory. Let us work towards improving it.

Please Share writing material, tips, tricks etc.


Post your own essays

I would like to suggest that you should take print out of this pdf file.
its cleared sample answer sheet pdf,
then
write on that, in time bound manner, like in 30 minutes
Click picture of it and post here, then we can check each others mistakes.
Make sure your handwriting is understandable and picture is nice.

 PDF:
https://uploadocean.com/eg22ddhpevxa
https://sendit.cloud/xqcitn78kx1e

I really hope we can work something out here.


Writing Materials

1. IELTS Academic & General Task 2. How to Write at a Band 9 Level (2017) -Ryan Higgins
note: I think this is the best source to know what cohesion and coherence is.

https://sendit.cloud/yxc3cmnc20zb
https://uploadocean.com/gwu8my7znuba

2. Essay Writing for English Tests by Gabi Duigu
note : This book should be your first book to understand what kind of writing they want from you, it was re-printed in 2003, I think this is mother of most of other ielts books, others are spin-off of this one.

https://sendit.cloud/6mjetq4kwjf7
https://uploadocean.com/6vgvszt4d930

3. IELTS Writing General Task 1 - How to write at a band 9 level -Ryan Higgins
note: Precise and clear in less time.

https://uploadocean.com/4aveqeoqi002
https://sendit.cloud/iaod6hvt090n

More material will come..

...
I am also in the same boat. Please guide, if any one can.

 

[cansha]

Dear Cansha,
I wish I could give you a hug. Nope, a thousand hugs.
I'm absolutely agree that essays are subjective but that's much. I have read materials from Simon, Chris Pell (ieltsadvantage), Pauline Cullen, and now Ryan Higgins. Their recommendations are different. For example:
# Simon said do not include prediction or recommendation in Conclusion, others said candidates should include.
# Simon write Conclusion by one sentence to repeat his opinion, others said candidates should summarize what they have said in Body before stating their opinion or something like that. The difference here is a summary of reasons, problems or causes...
# In the thesis statement in opinion essay (to what extent...), sometimes Simon writes " while I accept xyzabc, I believe efghij is more... " to show that he partly agree, but another teacher said that candidates should state clearly like this: " I completely agree " or " I partly agree " to guarantee the clarity.
#One of my essays was given 6.5 by my teacher, then my friend who is also a teacher sent it to Beyden Dingle ( passyourielts ) and he gave 7.5-8.0 OMG.
You know, all the words, structures and sentences I used are from materials and teachers, I can not create them.
Now, I'm drowning in confusions ( crying... )
I'm standing down of a mountain where you guys have conquered and been on the top of it. I look at you to be motivated

I know that different websites / trainers will suggest different things and hence I had decided to follow only one to avoid confusion. I just followed ieltsliz and I agreed with most of her recommendations. There were a few which I didn't like / agree and I ignored those. I can't remember which ones.

Just for clarity .. I disagree with Hope on generic line only for the First line of introduction.

I completely agree with Hope to be on point in Body Paragraphs. If you see my previous reviews I always suggest not to have generic opening lines in body paragraphs. I also believe (like Hope) that task response is the most important aspect of IELTS essay.

I was just reading through the points you have written above and I can tell you what I liked / preferred. You can always build your own style.

1. I disagree with Simon, I always restated the recommendation in the conclusion but in brief and in different words.
2. I prefer conclusions which are at least two lines and restate the message of body paragraphs
3. I preferred stating "I completely agree...", "I partly agree...". I did not want any confusion in examiners mind. You can always use subtle words but then you need to be very sure of your writing. I wanted to take that out of equation.

So you can see you can always build your own style. One thing you should not compromise on is the Task response.

And remember you don't get better in writing essays by just writing essays. you get better by reading essays and learning from mistakes. So, review essays online. Or read some of the essays on pages before.

All the best!

 

[cansha]

...
I am also in the same boat. Please guide, if any one can.

You can send your essays here for review and we can try to help you.

 

[vijaysanthoshkumar]

Hi All,

Even i had issues in writing section, but there is a solution to get Band 7 or more. very simple technique

1. for task 1 - write minimum 2 pages (assuming one would write 7-8 words per line), for task 2 - write minimum 3 pages.
2. use 1 complex sentence, 1 conditional statement in each paragraph and one or two questioning statement. Whether its grammatically correct or not, use complex sentences, i can assure you, once can get band 7 easily. if one can write grammatically correct, then band 8 or more is possible.

For Complex sentence use these words, "Although. Despite of, neither nor, either or, rather than, even though, in order that, provided that, whereas, while, until. whether."

For Condition statement - use "if, and, but"
For Question statement - just ask a question.

Trust me this will definitely work. Check out the link for evaluation criteria for the Task 1 and Task 2 Band Descriptor. Kindly go through on how they are evaluating our writing. This was very helpful for me.

https://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/find-out-about-results/ielts-assessment-criteria

In short, sentence variety is important than grammatical accuracy., variety of sentences (simple, compound and MORE IMPORTANTLY complex)

Let me know if any body have any question.

Thanks,
Vijay

 

[manishsharma240]

Hi Cansha & Hope n Faith,

Would you be generous enough to detect errors from below written essay? I have been seriously working on the reviews given by you both in this thread. Can you also evaluate the band score i can fetch & where i am standing at the moment?

In some cities & towns all over the world, the high volume of Traffic is a problem.

What are the causes of this & what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Introduction - The extensively excess gridlock is issue in the major urban & suburbs all across the globe. There are various reasons of this continual disruption on the roads & several ways to eradicate or eliminate this hitch.

BP 1 - Although, it might be seen as more vehicles moving on the road reflects as the prosperity of any country, yet a mismanagement of traffic rules could lead to a great difficulties for its natives & become a nerve wracking for living humans. Therefore, In order to overcome such hurdle, people whoever does not abide by the rules & regulations should be made aware by giving lesson on traffic rules or by penalizing them. For Instance – In last year, the capital of India ran a Campaign by providing on the spot training to rule offenders which were profoundly appreciated by the local public & some excellent results were observed.

BP 2- Furthermore, one other prime cause of heavy congestion on highways is by virtue of loans being sanctioned so easily for motor vehicles by the enormous banks.Evidently, these days individuals possess cars more than what they actually require. Thus, the rapid rate of purchasing Cars, Motorbikes etc. should be controlled by levying high taxes & simultaneously, The Govt should encourage the nation to get accustomed of using public transportation & riding Bicycle. Alongside this, government should build flyovers, footover bridges, underpass to diminish the long jams which could subside and circumvent the long queues at traffic signals. For Example – The situation of Central Delhi, C.P has become much smoother after underpasses being developed at different location,


In Conclusion – The acute hustle bustle on the roads is increasing by every passing day which requires utmost seriousness by the administration & public as well to gradually suppress through educating people & building high standard infrastructure.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

I know that different websites / trainers will suggest different things and hence I had decided to follow only one to avoid confusion. I just followed ieltsliz and I agreed with most of her recommendations. There were a few which I didn't like / agree and I ignored those. I can't remember which ones.

Just for clarity .. I disagree with Hope on generic line only for the First line of introduction.

I completely agree with Hope to be on point in Body Paragraphs. If you see my previous reviews I always suggest not to have generic opening lines in body paragraphs. I also believe (like Hope) that task response is the most important aspect of IELTS essay.

I was just reading through the points you have written above and I can tell you what I liked / preferred. You can always build your own style.

1. I disagree with Simon, I always restated the recommendation in the conclusion but in brief and in different words.
2. I prefer conclusions which are at least two lines and restate the message of body paragraphs
3. I preferred stating "I completely agree...", "I partly agree...". I did not want any confusion in examiners mind. You can always use subtle words but then you need to be very sure of your writing. I wanted to take that out of equation.

So you can see you can always build your own style. One thing you should not compromise on is the Task response.

And remember you don't get better in writing essays by just writing essays. you get better by reading essays and learning from mistakes. So, review essays online. Or read some of the essays on pages before.

All the best!

I advocate flexible methods, just like you. Nothing is fixed, but you should practice what you can do quickly and comfortably, easy to reproduce in tense exam situation.

I improved alot by bashing few people here, it improved my own technique, It made me practice what I preach, I felt obliged to write essay under 35 minutes and review it, used some idioms, wrote strong and decisive conclusions, all that.

in real exam I felt like I was writing the essay like an example essay to make someone else to understand the format, topic, so it was out of body experience, detached from exam and feelings, it was completely other experience.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

...
I am also in the same boat. Please guide, if any one can.

start reading this thread from first posts. simple, read all before you post anything.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Hi Cansha & Hope n Faith,

Would you be generous enough to detect errors from below written essay? I have been seriously working on the reviews given by you both in this thread. Can you also evaluate the band score i can fetch & where i am standing at the moment?

In some cities & towns all over the world, the high volume of Traffic is a problem.

What are the causes of this & what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Introduction - The extensively excess gridlock is issue in the major urban & suburbs all across the globe. There are various reasons of this continual disruption on the roads & several ways to eradicate or eliminate this hitch.

eradicate or eliminate - ameliorate the situation.

extensively excess gridlock - is this implying to traffic ?

well, I feel you should mention traffic, I know you are right, but its too much, could hurt you.

are you gunning for band 9 ?

BP 1 - Although, it might be seen as more vehicles moving on the road reflects as the prosperity of any country, yet a mismanagement of traffic rules could lead to a great difficulties for its natives & become a nerve wracking for living humans. Therefore, In order to overcome such hurdle, people whoever does not abide by the rules & regulations should be made aware by giving lesson on traffic rules or by penalizing them. For Instance – In last year, the capital of India ran a Campaign by providing on the spot training to rule offenders which were profoundly appreciated by the local public & some excellent results were observed.

BP 2- Furthermore, one other prime cause of heavy congestion on highways is by virtue of loans being sanctioned so easily for motor vehicles by the enormous banks.Evidently, these days individuals possess cars more than what they actually require. Thus, the rapid rate of purchasing Cars, Motorbikes etc. should be controlled by levying high taxes & simultaneously, The Govt should encourage the nation to get accustomed of using public transportation & riding Bicycle. Alongside this, government should build flyovers, footover bridges, underpass to diminish the long jams which could subside and circumvent the long queues at traffic signals. For Example – The situation of Central Delhi, C.P has become much smoother after underpasses being developed at different location,

In Conclusion – The acute hustle bustle on the roads is increasing by every passing day which requires utmost seriousness by the administration & public as well to gradually suppress through educating people & building high standard infrastructure.

what is good
no I , or opinion, never asked, it is a good thing.
some nice vocab with correct usage
good usage of linking devices
some collocations,
one para, one idea, one problem and solutions - effortlessly
strong conclusion.

what is not so good.
too heavy vocab at sometimes
some odd word usage - atleast I feel like I am stumbling, not smooth, I read alot, so I feel it.
usage of and - it feels forced at times
most of sample essays are smooth, this one is not so smooth, it sound mechanical and forced.


Now band question,it can fetch 7.5 to 8.5, it totally depends on professional opinion.

if by any chance you wrote something like this in exam and you got 7.5, go for revaluation.

there are no obvious mistakes, which we were discussing here before, so now you know what you are doing, which is a excellent thing.

 

[manishsharma240]

Hey, Genuinely, you've made my day...no way I'm aiming for 9 Band, because that's something unprecedented as far as i know. I wish to have a decent score. .anything above 7. I'm going to try out some other question type essays & return here to bother you...

eradicate or eliminate - ameliorate the situation.

extensively excess gridlock - is this implying to traffic ?

well, I feel you should mention traffic, I know you are right, but its too much, could hurt you.

are you gunning for band 9 ?








what is good
no I , or opinion, never asked, it is a good thing.
some nice vocab with correct usage
good usage of linking devices
some collocations,
one para, one idea, one problem and solutions - effortlessly
strong conclusion.

what is not so good.
too heavy vocab at sometimes
some odd word usage - atleast I feel like I am stumbling, not smooth, I read alot, so I feel it.
usage of and - it feels forced at times
most of sample essays are smooth, this one is not so smooth, it sound mechanical and forced.


Now band question,it can fetch 7.5 to 8.5, it totally depends on professional opinion.

if by any chance you wrote something like this in exam and you got 7.5, go for revaluation.

there are no obvious mistakes, which we were discussing here before, so now you know what you are doing, which is a excellent thing.

 

[MaryNguyen]

I came back with another attempt. please advice. Thank you


TASK 2
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well.

What problems will your country face in the next ten years?

How can these problems be overcome?



As a result of growing economies, the increase in population has become an inevitable challenge that effects these economies. Over the next ten years Kuwait will have to deal with critical problems such as access to higher education and the increase in unemployment rates.

Having access to public higher education has become a nightmare to recent high school graduates. As the population grows so the number of graduates every year, trying to attain a seat in a university to study their desirable major. This has resulted in a tough competition, for example, students with less than 95% GPA have lower chances on getting a spot as the entry requirements keep getting stricter every year to minimize the number of offers.

Furthermore, the increase of unemployment rate is another issue that needs to be dealt with. The current rate has already reached 12% for unemployed men versus 32% for unemployed women. Hundreds of universities students graduate every year from all over the country in addition to those who graduate from overseas fail to secure a job due to the low demand, insufficient job offers and some employers difficult requirements such as the length of experience and specific age or gender.

To help resolving these issues, It is suggested that the country build more community colleges as an alternative, supervise educational institutions to make sure everyone is given a fair chance. It is also encouraged that a clear plan to be set, identifying the shortcomings of the labor market in order to provide more jobs opportunities for the newcomers. Finally taking all of these measures into consideration will help the country to be prepared to face future challenges including the population increase.

I'm still struggling so I can not assess your essay, but I wanna discuss in order to boost my study.
First, do we have to indicate problems relating to environment, population and education - all three sections - to ensure the Task Response? Or we can discuss about what we wanna?
Second, it asks " in next 10 years " so we should use Future Tense in some sentences?
Finally, if we write 3 challenges, we should accordingly write 3 solutions?
Waiting for Cansha and Hope

 

[cansha]

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Owing to the competitiveness in journalism business, companies opting all the possibilities to intrude into the famous peoples' lives to built a sensational story in order to capture more eyeballs. Sometimes, this originates poor treatment towards the national icons by media companies and I strongly assert that, prestigious personalities should receive more personal space and careful handling.

There are numerous reason why media houses often handles the affluent people in an unjustified manner. Firstly, it turns their small movements a breaking news to engage more viewers. To exemplify, news channels go after celebrities when they spend their leisure in other countries with someone. Secondly, they often encourages hot shot people only which left, other talented people from the small towns underexposed to the audience . Lastly, these companies only follow people until they go off the lime light and then they does not bother to care about them.

Rich and famous people must be given more space as even money cannot be a substitute to sacrifice it. Firstly, every individual should have freedom to live freely to recreate themselves without being invaded by other elements. To Exemplify, companies must not disturb people when they are on their honeymoon. Secondly, human needs their own time when they are dealing with relationship crisis or phases and this must not be exposed to the rest of the world. Lastly, rich people has their own way of spending the money therefore, news companies emphasizing on it will lead the common people spends more to achieve big cars, foreign trips etc. as opposed to their income level.


To conclude, news companies must not create headlines by invading into their private space of the rich and famous people.



Please Review and be brutal!

@H0peAndFa1th Just realized we missed this one to review. If you get a chance can you review this one? Else, I will review it later.

 

[K3nda]

I'm still struggling so I can not assess your essay, but I wanna discuss in order to boost my study.
First, do we have to indicate problems relating to environment, population and education - all three sections - to ensure the Task Response? Or we can discuss about what we wanna?
Second, it asks " in next 10 years " so we should use Future Tense in some sentences?
Finally, if we write 3 challenges, we should accordingly write 3 solutions?
Waiting for Cansha and Hope

Thank you for your reply. I thought the questions asked about issues in general when it said "What problems will your country face in the next ten years?" the issues i talked about were recent and will still be there in 10 years if they were not resolved, that's the reason behind the different use of tenses. Also the reason i went with two problems was because i struggled with words counts. I deleted the task anyway and I will rewrite it again then post it for feedback. Thank you for the your inputs

 

[priteshgondalia]

Hi Friends,

It would be helpful if someone can evaluate this essay and suggest some errors or improvements in my writing.

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?


It is widely believed that once youngsters start their primary education, they should be taught a foreign language as a part of their curriculum. In my opinion, I completely agree with the aforementioned statement as it will be easier for them to learn any language at an early age and also beneficial for their future.


A good reason to teach children a language other than their native one when they begin their studies is that learning a new language would not be burdensome for them. This is owing to the fact that it is the tender age when individuals can easily grab any information that is being taught to them. In other words, although adolescents or adults may find it difficult to learn a foreign language, children tend to learn multiple languages simultaneously without any difficulties because of their early age. Increasing popularity of English and first language classes in the Eastern primary schools simply shows how significant is the effect of a foreign language education on the present-day young generation.


Another point to consider is that children who acquire the knowledge of another language in their early school days often do better in their future. Since candidates who have learnt a foreign language from their school days often express themselves fluently without any hesitation, it is a huge advantage for them when they apply for a professional job in their later life. This is why they can easily work for a multinational company or expand their businesses in diverse countries when they complete their tertiary education.


To recapitulate, I think that acquiring literature skills of a foreign language as soon as young people start their studies is not only advantageous for them to learn that particular language, but it also helps them in their future when they apply for a job or consider expanding their business in various nations.

Thanks,
Pritesh

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Hi Friends,

It would be helpful if someone can evaluate this essay and suggest some errors or improvements in my writing.

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

It is widely believed that once youngsters start their primary education, they should be taught a foreign language as a part of their curriculum. In my opinion, I completely agree with the aforementioned statement as it will be easier for them to learn any language at an early age and also beneficial for their future.

good intro, everything is clear, no mess.
intro to body para is good.

A good reason to teach children a language other than their native one when they begin their studies is that learning a new language would not be burdensome for them.

This is owing to the fact that it is the tender age when individuals can easily grab any information that is being taught to them.

In other words, although adolescents or adults may find it difficult to learn a foreign language, children tend to learn multiple languages simultaneously without any difficulties because of their early age.
these two lines are almost same, simple edit : simultaneously without any difficulties because their brain is at developing stage.

Increasing popularity of English and first language classes in the Eastern primary schools simply shows how significant is the effect of a foreign language education on the present-day young generation.

everything is nice, good use of vocabulary, no odd word usage,

Another point to consider is that children who acquire the knowledge of another language in their early school days often do better in their future. Since candidates who have learnt a foreign language from their school days often express themselves fluently without any hesitation, it is a huge advantage for them when they apply for a professional job in their later life. This is why they can easily work for a multinational company or expand their businesses in diverse countries when they complete their tertiary education.

again vocab, word usage, cohesion, coherence, everything is good

To recapitulate, I think that acquiring literature skills of a foreign language as soon as young people start their studies is not only advantageous for them to learn that particular language, but it also helps them in their future when they apply for a job or consider expanding their business in various nations.

Thanks,
Pritesh

strong conclusion is good.
------------

I can't find anything bad in this essay, you have wide range of vocab for the topic. word usage is very good, everything is smooth and clear, there is no obvious stress while reading.

Keep writing like this, I feel it should deserve 7.5 to 8.5 bands. yes this essay is delicious.