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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

Akhil Soni

Star Member
Feb 9, 2018
108
18
GO for EOR. Looking at other scores there is a good chance to get a 7 on reval.
I am not sure if I will go for it. I did a mistake in task 2 in task response by not mentioning about negative of delayed marriage in detail. Focused on delayed parenthood. Perhaps, this is the reason for my lower score. Anyway, thanks Cansha for being a superb mentor and for showing me the right direction.
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
I am not sure if I will go for it. I did a mistake in task 2 in task response by not mentioning about negative of delayed marriage in detail. Focused on delayed parenthood. Perhaps, this is the reason for my lower score. Anyway, thanks Cansha for being a superb mentor and for showing me the right direction.
No worries. How was your 27 Oct test?
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
471
Idp 13 October result out. Mine - l-9, r8.5, s 7.5, w6. 5..... Feeling disheartened....
sad, but
I am not sure if I will go for it. I did a mistake in task 2 in task response by not mentioning about negative of delayed marriage in detail. Focused on delayed parenthood. Perhaps, this is the reason for my lower score. Anyway, thanks Cansha for being a superb mentor and for showing me the right direction.
It seems you exactly know what mistake you made, you digressed, we discussed this many times here. staying on topic is the first requirement of band 7 - task achievement.

It was better in terms of task achievement.
hope you will make it this time.

have you booked any other test date ?
 

Akhil Soni

Star Member
Feb 9, 2018
108
18
sad, but


It seems you exactly know what mistake you made, you digressed, we discussed this many times here. staying on topic is the first requirement of band 7 - task achievement.


hope you will make it this time.

have you booked any other test date ?
No, not as of now, thinking of booking a date in December
 

Moeedkh

Star Member
Jan 6, 2016
83
1
it is totally fine without first line, they way you wrote this, I am pretty sure you invested so much time in writing introduction, believe me introduction should be quick and elegant.

if you are wasting time in writing intro, STOP IT.

keep introducing your body paragraphs (it serves as a revision and an active engagement method.)


if I look as a student, I would say wow!!!
but
if you look carefully, from an examiner point of view, mean what he/she is looking for, according to rubrics
then your every line is saying the same thing, just in different words.

you are saying same things over and over. avoid it, add some another point, or make it in a flow, so you don't have to repeat it.
like
statement -> reason -> example -> conclusion

you are already doing it, just not efficiently enough, but still good writing.


english is good, points/reasons are not convincing enough.


again - english is good, points/reasons are not convincing enough.

examiner is a person, he/she needs to be convinced by your arguments, << that is called task achievement.

if you do not achieve the task - english does not matter at all. < take this point to your heart.

how you can fix it

strategy 1 : explain or mention 2 points for one side in one paragraph - total 4 points/reasons
strategy 2 : explain 3 different points in 3 paragraphs
strategy 3 : which you are failing at - explain 1 point in one paragraph

keep in mind, one paragraph should have one central idea. It does mean that idea should be one, but there could be 2 reasons or explanations for that. you can present one example for any one reason.

work on your task achievement.

I am frustrating now :-(
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
471
I am frustrating now :-(
why ?

take a deep breath and follow simple steps,

>> don't think about whole paragraph at first,
think about first line instead.
>> write whole para one lines one by one : like

To begin with, it is known fact that practice improves learning, if students will revise the topic learned at school in form of home work exercise then their ability to understand the topic will improve and it will be retained for much longer period.
Now stop at here - leave a line on paper then write your second line. it is for practice
Researchers at Oxford university found that, working on 3 to 4 simple exercises within a period of 24 hours will improve the retention for upto 6 months, for example.
again stop it, that is fake example by the way - these 2 lines has 73 words, we need 90 words in one paragraph- so only 17 words left
Hence, it is provident to give students light home work exercise which will help them in long term.
there you have 91 words.

I find this technique to be most effective, it saves time, reduce stress, literally there is nothing much to do.


intro : 40
BP1 :90
BP2 :90
Conclusion : 40

that's 260 words.
 

MaryNguyen

Full Member
Oct 19, 2018
21
4
Hello friends,
Please help me to solve my problems with writing.
1. I'm absolutely clueless after reading the essay title.
I'm introverted. My nation is ruled by communism, citizens rarely ask for something or propose social plans.
For some topics that I'm keen on like Nature, Environment, Health, I can write. But for topics like city plan, shopping, music, art, culture,..., I struggle, both writing and speaking. Even if I was asked and answer in my mother tongue, I still can not think about any ideas. I have read essays from Simon, Chris Pell, and some domestic teachers, but I believe that's not enough. I expect you would recommend me reading by topics, and topics are limited. However, I think that one topic creates many types of essays. Still, I can not grasp all. I believe that this is the problem of fortune. I mean, you are lucky when you meet a familiar or easy question in test day. Here, easy means you have ideas and knowledge.
2. I'm confused how is " orginize and support ideas logically ".
My essays were marked by some domestic teachers. Although I had explained and supported main ideas, teachers said they aren't persuasive, of course not all essays, but I should practice until all of my essays sound fine. Though, I think it's kinda subjective.
What do you think, friends? Please correct my mind as I only sit the exam one time. Meager budget.
Thank you.
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
Although I had explained and supported main ideas, teachers said they aren't persuasive,
Did they give you reasons why the essays were not persuasive? Did you agree with the reasons? What were the improvements suggested?

If you can show us some actual essays and comments may be we can try to help.
Almost everyone struggles in some essay topics. And, it would be very difficult to feel that all your essays should be perfect before you can take the exam. However, there are a few things you can control about the essay.

1. Grammar
2. Vocab - Lexical resources.

I expect you would recommend me reading by topics, and topics are limited. However, I think that one topic creates many types of essays.
Yes that's true but I still feel you can still understand the topic by reading essays and do a fair job at task response. Again, it is difficult to give suggestions based on the information you have given. It seems like you did read essays on topic but still struggled in writing essay when the essay was on the same topic but question was different. Can you share some examples of what essay topic you read but still struggled in writing essay.
 
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MaryNguyen

Full Member
Oct 19, 2018
21
4
Dear Cansha and friends,
Here is my original essay. I had expected it would be a good one, but my teacher gave me 6.5. Then I stop writing. I wrote this essay in 2 hours because my approach is writing a good essay first, then reducing writing time.
When I paste the remarked essay, it can not perform his comments clearly. How can I send you that essay?
Please stop reading and read my next message.

In many countries, the number of crimes committed by young people has increased. What are the causes of this? What can parents and teachers do to help solve the problem?


The increasing juvenile crime is a pressing issue that need to be addressed in many societies. This problem is attributed to video games or a materialistic lifestyle and can be resolved by parents’supervision and education in school.

There are two compelling reasons why the percentage of young criminals has been on the increase. The first one is the exposure to violent and illegal acts in films and video games, which is facilitated by the ubiquity of the internet. Some of the young may unconciously absorb these bad behaviors and consider crimes as normal or heroic actions, which could result in committing crimes. Another cause is the growing trend of materialistic lifestyles which render people, particularly young ones, obsessed with luxuries such as designer clothes and expensive accessories. As not many parents can afford these items, some adolescents might turn to crimes such as pickpocketing, burglary or even murdering as long as they have money to fulfil this negative desire regardless of repercussions.

In order to remedy this situation, parents and teachers, who have profound influences on the youth, should pay more attention to them. Parents should encourage their children to get involved in healthy hobbies such as sports and outdoor activities in place of sitting in front of the screen for hours. Joining with children is the best way to keep them amuse and foster a long-lasting interest in these positive pastime. Meanwhile, teachers can help educate students about punishments of convicting criminals as well as legal records which will follow a criminal all his life. Being informed with these essential laws, the youth would abstain crimes.

In conclusion, the popularity of violent video games and the materialism are the two main culprits of the increasing rate of juvenile crimes and parents’concerns coupled with education about laws in school can help combat this.
 
Last edited:

Aruntocanada

Star Member
Feb 21, 2016
158
28
NOC Code......
0124
Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Owing to the competitiveness in journalism business, companies opting all the possibilities to intrude into the famous peoples' lives to built a sensational story in order to capture more eyeballs. Sometimes, this originates poor treatment towards the national icons by media companies and I strongly assert that, prestigious personalities should receive more personal space and careful handling.

There are numerous reason why media houses often handles the affluent people in an unjustified manner. Firstly, it turns their small movements a breaking news to engage more viewers. To exemplify, news channels go after celebrities when they spend their leisure in other countries with someone. Secondly, they often encourages hot shot people only which left, other talented people from the small towns underexposed to the audience . Lastly, these companies only follow people until they go off the lime light and then they does not bother to care about them.

Rich and famous people must be given more space as even money cannot be a substitute to sacrifice it. Firstly, every individual should have freedom to live freely to recreate themselves without being invaded by other elements. To Exemplify, companies must not disturb people when they are on their honeymoon. Secondly, human needs their own time when they are dealing with relationship crisis or phases and this must not be exposed to the rest of the world. Lastly, rich people has their own way of spending the money therefore, news companies emphasizing on it will lead the common people spends more to achieve big cars, foreign trips etc. as opposed to their income level.


To conclude, news companies must not create headlines by invading into their private space of the rich and famous people.



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