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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

xhae101191

Full Member
Apr 23, 2018
22
3
Share ur essay here
It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, technological innovations are being discovered and developed thus, neglection and abandonment of customary civilization arises. I completely agree that we cannot possess both technology and culture together.

Throughout the years, mankind has always been doing research and invention to contribute to the progress of science. In other words, they focus more on the importance of manufacturing new devices thus, gradually omitting traditional practices. Modernization has already been the center of attention and preservation of culture has been slowly relinquished. For instance, children would prefer to play more with their electronic devices such as phones, tablets, and computers rather than playing outside with their neighbors or friends with customary games. Another example is, students, at the present time, would like to use computers to do their homework rather than going to the library and read books. Therefore, people have already developed an attachment to technology and innovation.

Moreover, new advancements have already contributed to make mankind's life easier and more comfortable. With this, a lot of people have already forgotten traditional culture and have moved on to the new era. To put it simply, technology and tradition can never go together, if people choose technology, then, tradition will be eradicated and forgotten, and if people choose tradition then, new technology will definitely not exist. For instance, the use of modern equipments and building materials for building an elegant house is already popular these days, as opposed to the use of old stones and wood in constructing homes. Needless to say, these innovations are stronger and can provide a stronger foundation to prevent any kind of natural calamities or other problems that can cause destruction of houses. If people will stick to the notion of using stones and rocks for the sake of cultural beliefs, then they will neglect forming new ideas as to improving people's homes.

To conclude, I strongly believe that traditional culture will be lost if technology advances and the idea of having the two together is clearly impossible due to certain circumstances that both have different ways of contributing to people's lives.
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
470
Thank you for your help.
Can you please suggest me that what should I improve to achieve 7.5 band?

Appreciated.
Wish i know, already took the test for 6 times, never got 7 in writing.

Thank you very much. I see you have asked that is this my first attempt or not? No, I will give the exam 5th time on the June 30. I am missing the exam by half band. Last time on 12th May I got L:8.5, R:8.5, W:6.5, S:6.5. So I am trying very hard to achieve band 7 in writing. So please if you can suggest any tips or suggestion, I will be thankful.
yup, I took the 12 may test, my score is L:8.5, R:7.5, W:6.5, S:6.5. ?? see the similarity.


Hey I have the same problem as you. L-8.5 , R-7.5, S-7.0 , W-6.5 . I am always stuck at 6.5 with writing. I already sat the exam 5 times. I get the same score with my writing over and over even though I already had some coaching. It sucks
yea mate, it's happening to all of us, I took coaching again, improved a lot, but it never reflects in actual score.
 
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H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
470
It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, technological innovations are being discovered and developed thus, neglection and abandonment of customary civilization arises. I completely agree that we cannot possess both technology and culture together.

poor paraphrasing, improve it please


Throughout the years, mankind has always been doing research and invention to contribute to the progress of science. In other words, they focus more on the importance of manufacturing new devices thus, gradually omitting traditional practices. Modernization has already been the center of attention and preservation of culture has been slowly relinquished. For instance, children would prefer to play more with their electronic devices such as phones, tablets, and computers rather than playing outside with their neighbors or friends with customary games. Another example is, students, at the present time, would like to use computers to do their homework rather than going to the library and read books. Therefore, people have already developed an attachment to technology and innovation.

Irrelevant examples, reasons, very far from the actual topic.


Moreover, new advancements have already contributed to make mankind's life easier and more comfortable. With this, a lot of people have already forgotten traditional culture and have moved on to the new era. To put it simply, technology and tradition can never go together, if people choose technology, then, tradition will be eradicated and forgotten, and if people choose tradition then, new technology will definitely not exist. For instance, the use of modern equipments and building materials for building an elegant house is already popular these days, as opposed to the use of old stones and wood in constructing homes. Needless to say, these innovations are stronger and can provide a stronger foundation to prevent any kind of natural calamities or other problems that can cause destruction of houses. If people will stick to the notion of using stones and rocks for the sake of cultural beliefs, then they will neglect forming new ideas as to improving people's homes.

again lots of Irrelevant stuff


To conclude, I strongly believe that traditional culture will be lost if technology advances and the idea of having the two together is clearly impossible due to certain circumstances that both have different ways of contributing to people's lives.
band 6 maximum
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
470
Difference Between band 6.5 and 7 Writing

My teacher was an ex-ilets examiner. So,
according to her, yes I wrote few 7 band essays and letters.

But I Never got 7 band in actual test, My problem ?
1. too much time writing the letter. (25 minutes in every real test, yes its bullshitt, I know it)
2. took so much time writing the introduction. ( improved this lately, but still facing problems.)
3. Wrote irrelevant stuff in first body paragraph.
4. Badly written conclusion, why? because there is no fucking time, completely missed once and got 6 band in writing in that test.
5. other problem ? sometimes write alot of irrelevant stuff in an entire essay.
6. other problem ? try to explain the logic behind my statement (perfectionist) , fuck it, they don't care, they are checking the English and TA (task achievement)

Her Advice "they read introduction and conclusion carefully, they just skim through body paragraphs",
in other words, its your fucking luck
or
write intro and conclusion carefully.

a pattern I noticed, 4 or more than 4 grammatically errors in an entire essay = 6.5 bands.

wrote irrelevant stuff, no matter what kind of vocab, grammar, examples, anything you write is golden, but your bands will be 6.5

now problem is,
you think you are getting 6.5 bands in your real test, let's give it again, maybe you can get 7 in next one.
I was thinking the same and its wrong.

I got 6 and 6.5 bands so many times, I saw other people writing which was way worse than mine but they still got 6 and 6.5 bands.

how this can happen ? there is virtually no difference in 6 or 6.5 bands , believe me its true.

but there is huge difference in 6.5 and 7 band scores.

Things I noticed : In 7 bands essays.
1) only 3 or 4 grammatical errors are allowed.
2) No irrelevant stuff at all, very strictly.
3) Iron clad, Introduction, very cleverly paraphrased.
4) Clearly/cleverly re-iteration of your own statement (agree or disagree)

its very easy to get 6.5 bands, but very very hard to get 7 bands, unfortunately most of us came to know it after burning everything we had.


If you managed to read my this rant, please share your feedback/thoughts or just anything you know about it.
 

xhae101191

Full Member
Apr 23, 2018
22
3
Difference Between band 6.5 and 7 Writing

My teacher was an ex-ilets examiner. So,
according to her, yes I wrote few 7 band essays and letters.

But I Never got 7 band in actual test, My problem ?
1. too much time writing the letter. (25 minutes in every real test, yes its bullshitt, I know it)
2. took so much time writing the introduction. ( improved this lately, but still facing problems.)
3. Wrote irrelevant stuff in first body paragraph.
4. Badly written conclusion, why? because there is no fucking time, completely missed once and got 6 band in writing in that test.
5. other problem ? sometimes write alot of irrelevant stuff in an entire essay.
6. other problem ? try to explain the logic behind my statement (perfectionist) , fuck it, they don't care, they are checking the English and TA (task achievement)

Her Advice "they read introduction and conclusion carefully, they just skim through body paragraphs",
in other words, its your fucking luck
or
write intro and conclusion carefully.

a pattern I noticed, 4 or more than 4 grammatically errors in an entire essay = 6.5 bands.

wrote irrelevant stuff, no matter what kind of vocab, grammar, examples, anything you write is golden, but your bands will be 6.5

now problem is,
you think you are getting 6.5 bands in your real test, let's give it again, maybe you can get 7 in next one.
I was thinking the same and its wrong.

I got 6 and 6.5 bands so many times, I saw other people writing which was way worse than mine but they still got 6 and 6.5 bands.

how this can happen ? there is virtually no difference in 6 or 6.5 bands , believe me its true.

but there is huge difference in 6.5 and 7 band scores.

Things I noticed : In 7 bands essays.
1) only 3 or 4 grammatical errors are allowed.
2) No irrelevant stuff at all, very strictly.
3) Iron clad, Introduction, very cleverly paraphrased.
4) Clearly/cleverly re-iteration of your own statement (agree or disagree)

its very easy to get 6.5 bands, but very very hard to get 7 bands, unfortunately most of us came to know it after burning everything we had.


If you managed to read my this rant, please share your feedback/thoughts or just anything you know about it.
I really need to practice more. I can accept if they score 6 than a 6.5 (0.5 difference is *****) .


Thank you very much for this!! I appreciate it.
When you said, there is a huge difference in 6.5 and 7 , I was like... omg lol I am sooooo ****
I am starting to lose hope. Really. Anyway, I will still try and take the exam if I am already ready. 5th time this time. =( Just the writing part is stressing me out, sucking the life out of me. =(
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
470
It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

============================
break it first.

Context :: technology is rising and traditional cultures are losing
Question :: Can they both live together, it says only one can survive ?
You have to answer, do you agree that only one either technology or traditional culture will survive.
======================
In past few decades, technology has advanced significantly, with new and easy ways of living people are leaving old and traditional methods behind.

better below

In past few decades, technology has advanced significantly, with contemporary and convenient ways of living people are leaving antiquated and traditional methods behind. Thus, to a great extent I believe that with the adoption of new technology people will eventually give up traditional culture.

To begin with, in past times, because of lack in equipment, services, facilities people were forced to do things in a hard manner. This formed the culture and tradition, however with the advent of industrialization, there are new machines and methods of doing same strenuous tasks. In contemporary times, people have new roles and duties to fulfill, thus they wholeheartedly adopted these new techniques in their daily lives. For example, all over the world people choose to wear ready made jeans and t-shirts instead of the traditional clothes. They claim it is cheap and convenient to wear them, whereas traditional clothes are costlier and sometimes awkward in modern day workplace scenarios. Another clear trend can be seen in cuisine choices, fast food take-outs are rising day-by-day and traditional dishes are left for special occasions only. It is therefore, conspicuously visible that for the sake of easy lifestyle people are relinquishing old ways of living.

On the other hand, despite the technological advancement people are still practicing some traditions, such as festivals, holidays etc. Even technology has helped them to prepare in less time and enjoy it more with friends and family. For example, Chinese new year and Indian festivals like Deepawali has become convenient and enjoyable with fancy lighting and fireworks. It seems fervor for these traditional activities has risen enormously and not likely to lose any of its charm anytime soon.

In conclusion, despite making few of traditional activities more enjoyable, technological advancements are affecting our daily traditional practices and as the younger generations keep adapting to new routines, most of the traditional culture will become a thing of the distant past.
 
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Morally

Member
May 2, 2018
10
6
Difference Between band 6.5 and 7 Writing

My teacher was an ex-ilets examiner. So,
according to her, yes I wrote few 7 band essays and letters.

But I Never got 7 band in actual test, My problem ?
1. too much time writing the letter. (25 minutes in every real test, yes its bullshitt, I know it)
2. took so much time writing the introduction. ( improved this lately, but still facing problems.)
3. Wrote irrelevant stuff in first body paragraph.
4. Badly written conclusion, why? because there is no fucking time, completely missed once and got 6 band in writing in that test.
5. other problem ? sometimes write alot of irrelevant stuff in an entire essay.
6. other problem ? try to explain the logic behind my statement (perfectionist) , fuck it, they don't care, they are checking the English and TA (task achievement)

Her Advice "they read introduction and conclusion carefully, they just skim through body paragraphs",
in other words, its your fucking luck
or
write intro and conclusion carefully.

a pattern I noticed, 4 or more than 4 grammatically errors in an entire essay = 6.5 bands.

wrote irrelevant stuff, no matter what kind of vocab, grammar, examples, anything you write is golden, but your bands will be 6.5

now problem is,
you think you are getting 6.5 bands in your real test, let's give it again, maybe you can get 7 in next one.
I was thinking the same and its wrong.

I got 6 and 6.5 bands so many times, I saw other people writing which was way worse than mine but they still got 6 and 6.5 bands.

how this can happen ? there is virtually no difference in 6 or 6.5 bands , believe me its true.

but there is huge difference in 6.5 and 7 band scores.

Things I noticed : In 7 bands essays.
1) only 3 or 4 grammatical errors are allowed.
2) No irrelevant stuff at all, very strictly.
3) Iron clad, Introduction, very cleverly paraphrased.
4) Clearly/cleverly re-iteration of your own statement (agree or disagree)

its very easy to get 6.5 bands, but very very hard to get 7 bands, unfortunately most of us came to know it after burning everything we had.


If you managed to read my this rant, please share your feedback/thoughts or just anything you know about it.

Wow. I'm now scared with my June 2 essay cos I think I might have transgressed in d first body paragraph. We were asked to discus about d difficulties children would face when their families migrate and I wrote about language and cultural loss. Please, do you think it will have a huge difference in my score?
 

Morally

Member
May 2, 2018
10
6
Wow. I'm now scared with my June 2 essay cos I think I might have transgressed in d first body paragraph. We were asked to discus about d difficulties children would face when their families migrate to other countries and I wrote about language and cultural loss. Please, do you think it will have a huge difference in my score?
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
470
Wow. I'm now scared with my June 2 essay cos I think I might have transgressed in d first body paragraph. We were asked to discus about d difficulties children would face when their families migrate to other countries and I wrote about language and cultural loss. Please, do you think it will have a huge difference in my score?
we are in same boat, I took that one too, messed up my conclusion badly and missed 3 answers in listening, speaking and reading went good.

now praying daily and waiting for score of 24 may (result on 6th june) and 2nd june (result on 15th june) test.
 

Morally

Member
May 2, 2018
10
6
Just like ur name imply, hope and faith should be the last thing we loose now. I know I should have done far better but I was so happy with d topic that I missed it up. Anyway, I am praying that it won't affect my Task response score. Co I badly need a 7 at least in that writing, everything being equal though. We shall testify don't worry.
 

Smiley_Sugar

Full Member
Apr 17, 2018
47
6
Wow. I'm now scared with my June 2 essay cos I think I might have transgressed in d first body paragraph. We were asked to discus about d difficulties children would face when their families migrate to other countries and I wrote about language and cultural loss. Please, do you think it will have a huge difference in my score?
Did you also give positive impact children have on their lives?
 

Morally

Member
May 2, 2018
10
6
Yes I did. I wrote about an improved life style in items of better education, health care system and d likes in d other body paragraph. In fact that what I eventually supported as my opinion.
 

Smiley_Sugar

Full Member
Apr 17, 2018
47
6
Yes I did. I wrote about an improved life style in items of better education, health care system and d likes in d other body paragraph. In fact that what I eventually supported as my opinion.
Then y are you worried? It’s a discussion anyway and u gave your points on both the views.
 
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H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
470
Did you also give positive impact children have on their lives?
Yes I did. I wrote about an improved life style in items of better education, health care system and d likes in d other body paragraph. In fact that what I eventually supported as my opinion.
It was discuss both views, I wrote exactly the same, better healthcare and education in first body paragraph and cultural shock, depression on mental issues in other view.
 
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priteshgondalia

Star Member
Apr 3, 2018
72
19
Thank You so much for previous essay correction of Facebook page. I would appreciate if you can evaluate this writing task 1 and 2 as I have improved my mistakes and tried to write better.

Task #2

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative
and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to
work in a team and follow instructions.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.


Although it is sometimes thought that organizations ought to employ skilled workers who can work
independently, other people believe that ability to work within a team should be considered at the time of hiring process. In my opinion, deciding whether to hire an independent employee or an effective team person should completely depend on the size of the company.

On the one hand, persons who work individually often have a better growth in the organization,
according to some. This is due to the fact that people can easily understand their responsibility because they do not have to depend on other team members to finish their tasks. Therefore, individual workers' results are always skillful and as a result, they usually are promoted to a higher position. To illustrate, a recent report from the Toronto University described that 93 percent of independent employees are being offered a management position in the New York, since they were able to deliver the productive end result for their company.

On the other hand, it is often thought that the team member provides efficient and qualitative results.
This is because each project is divided in the small proportions, so every member can completely focus on the particular task. Accordingly, it is often believed that a team always manage to complete all the tasks accurately and quickly as they have enough hands to support. That is why, some people believe that employers should recruit the person, who can easily manage with other team members.

Finally, in my view, the choice of the employee should totally depend on the size of the organization and its project. While small companies usually have tiny projects, which do not require team efforts, large infrastructure possesses huge tasks, which individual players can not finish on the time even they are innovative. Companies, therefore, should employ people based on company's requirements.

In conclusion, despite people having different views regarding the selection of employee, I believe it would be better to select the worker based on the company's size and requirement.


Task #1

You have just spent a week with a friend on holiday. When you got home, you realised you had left
your wallet there.
. thank your friend for the holiday.
. explain that you left your wallet in their house.
. give them instructions of how to send it back to you.


Dear Alay,
Thank you for joining me on the holiday, which we just spent last week. I really enjoyed those precious days. I am writing this letter to inform you that I have forgot my wallet in the bedroom of your house.

Let me explain in more detail. When I reached my home and checked my wallet for the key, I realize that my wallet was left on the cupboard of your house. This is because I was in the hurry at the time of the leaving since my flight was about to depart 2 hour earlier. Fortunately, I had back-up key so I was able to enter in my house, but I will require my wallet as many important documents are there in it. So you can find that on the top right corner of the cupboard, where I used to place all the my stuff.

I would like you to send my wallet to me so I can have necessary documents that need to be with me while I drive. My address is ‘123 Major Drive, Toronto’ and please courier it with an express delivery method. I will e-transfer all the charge that requires you to pay.

Thank you so much for your time and support.
Your sincerely,
Pritesh