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Writing task 2 - Kindly review and give feedback

Meow25

Full Member
Jun 4, 2015
34
1
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people on other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think this is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


Sports is the most popular kind of entertainment these days and most times victorious players make ton load of money compared to professionals in other fields. Their unbelievable amount of earnings may seem unjust to some while others find it quite reasonable. This essay will discuss the reasons why the hard-earned money by sportsmen is justified.

In modern era, sports has become the most popular form of entertainment worldwide. A single tournament in one corner of the world may get the entire globe glued to their TV screens for even a month. All we see on screen or in stadium is a player performing exceptionally well and getting the credit even for a lifetime. What we do not realize is the effort that is made off the pavilion. For example, a runner has to live his complete life on certain pattern, eating special diet, sleeping and waking up at certain time. Their fitness requires a personal trainer that may cost a lot, not to mention any injuries that may be caused during training. All we witness is a super performing runner who outruns everyone in the race, failing to understand their process and efforts.

However, there are heroes in other fields, like surgeon saving a life or performing a scientific miracle or a teacher, inspiring a role model. The belief by some that sky rise salaries of sportsmen undermine these experts but we should keep in mind that sportsmen’s larger share of income comes from prize money or reward not from their salaries. However, a surgeon or scientist is paid high salary by the institution he works for plus they charge their patient accordingly. And most importantly they are not public figures and thus avoid facing so many pressures these sports stars may end up encountering.

In conclusion we can say that although some sports personnel are getting ridiculous pay which may be the reason of unrest for some but it is justified keeping in mind the hardwork, tough routine and scrutiny that becomes part of their life.
 

iaman.hayer

Star Member
Feb 11, 2018
73
23
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people on other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think this is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


Sports is the most popular kind of entertainment these days and most times victorious players make ton load of money compared to professionals in other fields. Their unbelievable amount of earnings may seem unjust to some while others find it quite reasonable. This essay will discuss the reasons why the hard-earned money by sportsmen is justified.

In modern era, sports has become the most popular form of entertainment worldwide. A single tournament in one corner of the world may get the entire globe glued to their TV screens for even a month. All we see on screen or in stadium is a player performing exceptionally well and getting the credit even for a lifetime. What we do not realize is the effort that is made off the pavilion. For example, a runner has to live his complete life on certain pattern, eating special diet, sleeping and waking up at certain time. Their fitness requires a personal trainer that may cost a lot, not to mention any injuries that may be caused during training. All we witness is a super performing runner who outruns everyone in the race, failing to understand their process and efforts.

However, there are heroes in other fields, like surgeon saving a life or performing a scientific miracle or a teacher, inspiring a role model. The belief by some that sky rise salaries of sportsmen undermine these experts but we should keep in mind that sportsmen’s larger share of income comes from prize money or reward not from their salaries. However, a surgeon or scientist is paid high salary by the institution he works for plus they charge their patient accordingly. And most importantly they are not public figures and thus avoid facing so many pressures these sports stars may end up encountering.

In conclusion we can say that although some sports personnel are getting ridiculous pay which may be the reason of unrest for some but it is justified keeping in mind the hardwork, tough routine and scrutiny that becomes part of their life.
Just one suggestion, in conclusion section, you have a one line para. In academics, you should have at least two lines for paragraphs.
 

Meow25

Full Member
Jun 4, 2015
34
1
Just one suggestion, in conclusion section, you have a one line para. In academics, you should have at least two lines for paragraphs.
what about the rest of the essay? Feel free to give your honest feedback, it'll help me improve.