Spousal Sponsorship

[H2S]

Hi, I need your advice on following issues:
My husband is a Canadian citizen. We got married 3 years ago. I Immigrated to Canada 1 month ago, on spousal sponsorship. Since I have come here he has started abusing me. He also threats me that if I tell anyone, he will get me deported. In our Indian culture, parent expects girls to stay with the husbands after marriage regardless. So they are not ready to listen to me.

My questions are

1. Can he get me deported, if I separate/ divorce from him now or tell police about it. Is there a minimum time I have to stay with him before I can seek separation/ divorce?
2. Is there any organisation where I can get help/ counselling to know why he is behaving like this and if possible to save my marriage.
3. Can I work if I separate from him? I have a SIN number.
4. Where can I get legal help in case my divorce/ separation issue goes to court? I do not have any money. Whatever I had, my husband has taken away from me.
5. Any other suggestions on my options is also requested.

I cannot go back to my country as divorced girls are considered curse and even my family is not ready to accept me back.

 

[pinklady]

Sounds like a terrible situation.
I am sorry I don't know of any support groups or places who can help.
What I can tell you is that now you are landed, he CANNOT have you deported and yes, you can work if you have your SIN.
If you claim any benefits in the next 3 years, your husband will have to pay back the government since this is how long he is responsible for you.
You do not have to stay with him for any amount of time before seperating.

Hopefully someone can offer you advice on how to handle the situation.

 

[sahm2boys]

Hi, I need your advice on following issues:
My husband is a Canadian citizen. We got married 3 years ago. I Immigrated to Canada 1 month ago, on spousal sponsorship. Since I have come here he has started abusing me. He also threats me that if I tell anyone, he will get me deported. In our Indian culture, parent expects girls to stay with the husbands after marriage regardless. So they are not ready to listen to me.

My questions are

1. Can he get me deported, if I separate/ divorce from him now or tell police about it. Is there a minimum time I have to stay with him before I can seek separation/ divorce?
2. Is there any organisation where I can get help/ counselling to know why he is behaving like this and if possible to save my marriage.
3. Can I work if I separate from him? I have a SIN number.
4. Where can I get legal help in case my divorce/ separation issue goes to court? I do not have any money. Whatever I had, my husband has taken away from me.
5. Any other suggestions on my options is also requested.

I cannot go back to my country as divorced girls are considered curse and even my family is not ready to accept me back.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Have you tried contacting your local womens shelter? Most have a crisis number you can call and the workers are greatly knowledgable on what steps you can take. They just need to know what your plans are and they will help you, even if you choose to stay in your marriage. You don't have to reside in a shelter to receive services from them.

If you have your landed immigrant status, he can not have you deported. You have a SIN, so you can (indeed) work should you choose to.

All the best to you!

 

[OhCanadiana]

Hi, I need your advice on following issues:
My husband is a Canadian citizen. We got married 3 years ago. I Immigrated to Canada 1 month ago, on spousal sponsorship. Since I have come here he has started abusing me. He also threats me that if I tell anyone, he will get me deported. In our Indian culture, parent expects girls to stay with the husbands after marriage regardless. So they are not ready to listen to me.

My questions are

1. Can he get me deported, if I separate/ divorce from him now or tell police about it. Is there a minimum time I have to stay with him before I can seek separation/ divorce?

I did a Google search and found some information that hopefully frees you to act in the best interest of your safety.

"A permanent resident or a Canadian citizen can leave an abusive partner and her status in Canada will not be affected by that decision alone."

More details:

"Sponsorship breakdown
Sponsors agree to make sure that the people they sponsor have things such as housing, clothes, and food, or the money to pay for these things. A woman experiences “sponsorship breakdown” when the spouse or partner who sponsored her refuses or is unable to provide the financial support that she needs during the sponsorship period.
When a woman is abused by her sponsor, their relationship may reach the point where she cannot look to her sponsor for any kind of help. CIC does not expect an abused woman to remain silent about her partner's violent behaviour or to live in danger.
Unfortunately, many women who are permanent residents or Canadian citizens believe that they have no rights during their sponsorship period. They believe that they must live with their sponsor throughout the sponsorship period. This is not true. They may also believe their sponsor's threats to have them deported, even if they are permanent residents.
"

The above quotes (bolding mine) are from the fact-sheet by CLEO at: http://www.cleonet.ca/instance.php?instance_id=334 which has additional information.

If you have a copy of your application

2. Is there any organisation where I can get help/ counselling to know why he is behaving like this and if possible to save my marriage.

Look for assaulted women's helpline(s) in your province. The first one I found by googling one in Canada is in Ontario - the listed phone numbers are: 1.866.863.0511 (toll free), 416.863.0511 , #SAFE (#7233)

I am not familiar with the organization and didn't see anything quickly on their website indicating if they are familiar with immigration issues but hopefully they can at least help you take decisions on your next steps and refer you to others if needbe.

3. Can I work if I separate from him? I have a SIN number.

Yes, assuming you landed when you immigrated a month ago and have your COPR in your passport and your SIN number.

4. Where can I get legal help in case my divorce/ separation issue goes to court? I do not have any money. Whatever I had, my husband has taken away from me.

Two ideas: ask the hotline you call and/or look for a legal aid office in your area

5. Any other suggestions on my options is also requested.

I cannot go back to my country as divorced girls are considered curse and even my family is not ready to accept me back.

All the best during this difficult time.

 

[fernendez]

Hi, I need your advice on following issues:
My husband is a Canadian citizen. We got married 3 years ago. I Immigrated to Canada 1 month ago, on spousal sponsorship. Since I have come here he has started abusing me. He also threats me that if I tell anyone, he will get me deported. In our Indian culture, parent expects girls to stay with the husbands after marriage regardless. So they are not ready to listen to me.

My questions are

1. Can he get me deported, if I separate/ divorce from him now or tell police about it. Is there a minimum time I have to stay with him before I can seek separation/ divorce?
2. Is there any organisation where I can get help/ counselling to know why he is behaving like this and if possible to save my marriage.
3. Can I work if I separate from him? I have a SIN number.
4. Where can I get legal help in case my divorce/ separation issue goes to court? I do not have any money. Whatever I had, my husband has taken away from me.
5. Any other suggestions on my options is also requested.

I cannot go back to my country as divorced girls are considered curse and even my family is not ready to accept me back.

This is not a new story line with people from your area. Its simple, you used him as an avenue to get into Canada. In fact I support new laws of conditional marriage visa!!

 

[H2S]

I printed your response and showed it to him and I could visibly see change in his behaviour.
My idea of writing you people was to know my rights as per law and find a way to rectify my husband behaviour. I just wanted him to talk to me with respect as i do with him and do not hit me.
As for Fernendez. We Indian girls are home makers, not home breakers. There are all sorts of examples available. I was looking for an advice, not a judgement from you. Pl do not jump to conclusions without investigating.

 

[Mrslwsn]

H2S, I am not familiar with your culture but never the less you are very well spoken, and seem to be an extremely intelligent woman. I do understand that due to your culture/religion it may be hard to leave your husband, but abusers do not change just like that and there is no reason for you to live an unhappy life. I wasted a short amount of time with an abusive man and once I left my life has never been better. It is a waste of time trying to convince a person like that to change. You are a human being not an animal. As women (of all nations) we have to learn when to value our own self worth. I wish you strength and peace.

 

[Kedeisha]

H2S, I am not familiar with your culture but never the less you are very well spoken, and seem to be an extremely intelligent woman. I do understand that due to your culture/religion it may be hard to leave your husband, but abusers do not change just like that and there is no reason for you to live an unhappy life. I wasted a short amount of time with an abusive man and once I left my life has never been better. It is a waste of time trying to convince a person like that to change. You are a human being not an animal. As women (of all nations) we have to learn when to value our own self worth. I wish you strength and peace.

Love this

 

[Mrslwsn]

Thanks Ked, it's from the heart.

 

[H2S]

Thank you very much all of you. You people are very nice, considerate and caring.
Mrslwsn, i fully agree with you but want to give my husband a fair chance. Although we got married 3 years ago but are now living together for only 40 days.
Our culture and Hindu religion is male dominating, gives man ultimate rights but insists on treating women nicely. I have known my husband since childhood. He is 4 years elder to me. Our marriage was an arranged-marriage but my husband wanted me to be his wife from ever since i can remember and he waited for 3 years after marriage for the immigration process to finalize. On the other hand i was perusing my engineer degree and left my studies in the last year to be with my husband.
My sole purpose of writing you people was to determine where I stand, what my options are and how amicably I can resolve the issue. I was hoping for the best but preparing for the worse.
My husband has not hit me since yesterday and has also not used abusive language. Your responses were the best institution i was looking for. I know i have friends on the net who will give me sincere advice, directly from their hearts.
I am especially thankful to OhCanadiana for her response with detailed research.

 

[Mrslwsn]

I wish you the best of luck, but in my experience, once you allow a man to hit you, you not only allow him to ultimately disrespect you, but also lose that little piece of respect for yourself each time. No matter that your culture is male dominated, you are a woman, and a human being and deserve to be treated as such. I have been there and refuse to return to that place in my life. Take care.

 

[fernendez]

My reply was based on the fact that this issue is a common thing among some people. I never mentioned names. You have proven yourself to be a different and wonderful wife which you husband must not loose.

I would think know he knows has realized he has a good wife and the g negative effects of what he has been doing to you. Why would he be hitting you if he is not a tyrant.I wish you the best and I hope he can stay in this new found good way.

 

[livin]

I printed your response and showed it to him and I could visibly see change in his behaviour.
My idea of writing you people was to know my rights as per law and find a way to rectify my husband behaviour. I just wanted him to talk to me with respect as i do with him and do not hit me.
As for Fernendez. We Indian girls are home makers, not home breakers. There are all sorts of examples available. I was looking for an advice, not a judgement from you. Pl do not jump to conclusions without investigating.

H2S, why would did you show him the responses?? I personally don't think that it was a good idea for you to do that...you need to be smart about the way you do things. Just be careful, because he may be up to something now...Good luck...