Sponsor wife wants to divorce.

[buiatti]

I have met a woman from Montreal in 2011, and we ended up deciding to get married. I left everything I had in my country and came to Canada in May 2011. We got married in August 2011, and by the end of 2012 I received my Permanent Residence.

But due to some issues, she starts asking for the divorce, and threatens to report me as a fraudulent marriage to immigration. She is even asking for money in order not to report me.

We have lived together from May 2011 till January 2013, when the problems started. She turned violent, put a knife in my throat and threaten to kill me, and I left her house. Now she is threatening me with divorce and saying that it was a fraudulent marriage.

I do have started recording some of our calls in Skype because of that, and I have a text message where she is demanding $7K.

Can she have me deported by doing what she is threatening to do?

 

[amikety]

No, she cannot deport you. She can report you to CIC for fraud, but it's anyone's guess if they would investigate.

End all contact with her. Clear your mind and work on building your new life.

 

[Sweden]

No - she can not.

You have filled your application before the "new rule" of conditional PR applies, so you are a PR, full stop. She can not get you deported. If she decides to file for divorce and report you to immigration, at most they will look into the case. and if you have been living together from May 2011 to January 2013, nobody is going to think that you entered the relationship in order to gain PR. Plus - in that case she is the sponsor and she is the one wanting to divorce, then it doesn't seem that you entered the relationship to gain status.

So - if she wants to divorce you, and report you, let her do it. It won't affect your PR, and you can go on with your life.
Good luck,
Sweden

 

[canadianwoman]

No. You have lived together too long for CIC to believe it was a fraudulent marriage. They don't even investigate all of the obviously fake marriages - they certainly don't have the manpower to investigate marriages that appear to have just broken down.

Keep all evidence of her threats. If she does report you, and CIC investigates, you should be fine.

One issue the Canadian sponsor has is that if the applicant goes on welfare within three years of landing, the sponsor will have to pay the government back. Try reassuring her that you don't intend to go on welfare (if that is the case) and maybe she'll leave you alone.

 

[buiatti]

Thanks for your replies. This really takes out some of this "weigh" out of my mind.

 

[shells]

I'm a woman myself (and suffered from bad depression probably more than 10 years ago). Everyone's situation is different, but I can share what I experienced. I suffered from severe mood swings (although not to the extend of using a knife with my parents) and would be happy one moment and cry another, or yelled obscenities and was very rude to my parents for no reason the next. Sometimes i would throw things around in the house, and vent my frustrations on them too. As much as they were not happy, I wasn't too. I brought tears to them and made them heartbroken. I often said nasty things in the heat of the moment and regretted later after I calmed down. There were times I wondered whether I was punishing them or punishing myself. I had very different personalities I don't even recognize at times.

My parents always forgive me, and we moved on from there (they are very loving parents, and I'm very thankful for that).

If you genuinely love someone, you don't give up or leave them because of a few things they did (especially if they behave like this due to stress or inability to handle their situation). They need help (and maybe even consider taking up anger management classes). If you haven't gone too far into a relationship, and you've exhausted all methods to help her, then maybe it's best you go separate ways. There's nothing wrong in that.

Buiatti's wife case may be rare, but definitely not impossible.

 

[Kiri]

Okay, this entire fight-filled thread aside.... (and for the record, lots of women do crazy things like this... from the sounds of it and the way she acts with her daughter, it sounds like the most extreme cases of borderline psychotic rages of a person with BPD - which some never reach that point in life, but a small percentage do) (Also if this has been an issue prior to your PR approval you should have left instead of waiting for PR before deciding to end things... but that's personal opinion.)

Bottom line is this: You became a PR before the conditional thing was put into place.

That said, she can divorce you all she wants and you will remain a PR. She can report you for fraud and they will just say "Oh well" because there was no conditions and you passed the test already.

And if she is demanding money from you... well here's the kicker for her. You can get support and she'll have to pay it back. She sponsored YOU, not the other way around.

If she wants a divorce and wants to act in anyway.. remind her she signed papers to obligate herself to support you for 3 years from time of PR approval and that you are legal now and no matter what she does can't get you deported. That's what that Sponsorship Undertaking letter she signed is... you should remind her of that. Do NOT let her trap you and make you feel like you have no way out. You're a free man if this really is a problem you're having.

After that, if she continues to harass you... report her with your proof of harassment to the authorities and make her accountable for her actions.

 

[scos]

Ah yes, the fallacy of "women aren't violent". I divorced my first wife primarily for what we will politely call "anger management issues". This may also be of interest...

http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/issuesideas/story.html?id=5a6dc0ec-3807-4f5c-a5ad-c50855986682

The other thing to remember is most cases of violence or sexual assault against men by women go unreported because of the stigma it places on the man. People will feel sorry for the "poor little woman" if she is beaten but will laugh if a "poor little woman" just beat up her man. And there will no doubt be the usual talk of how the man MUST HAVE started it and maybe just got what he deserved.

Violence is gender neutral.

 

[steerpike]

1. People like you are the exact reason CIC is making it harder on the rest of us. You personally have made my life in Canada more difficult. Thank you.

2. If your story is true, then simply send her a letter stating that she is not to contact you again or you will go on welfare and she will be responsible for paying all of it for the next few years. Have no more contact with her after that (except thru a lawyer to file for divorce).

3. Thank you for making my life harder.

 

[amikety]

1. People like you are the exact reason CIC is making it harder on the rest of us. You personally have made my life in Canada more difficult. Thank you.

2. If your story is true, then simply send her a letter stating that she is not to contact you again or you will go on welfare and she will be responsible for paying all of it for the next few years. Have no more contact with her after that (except thru a lawyer to file for divorce).

3. Thank you for making my life harder.

Point 2 is blackmail. If she's able to prove it, it's a crime. Do not make threats. They can be used against you.

 

[scos]

1. People like you are the exact reason CIC is making it harder on the rest of us. You personally have made my life in Canada more difficult. Thank you.

2. If your story is true, then simply send her a letter stating that she is not to contact you again or you will go on welfare and she will be responsible for paying all of it for the next few years. Have no more contact with her after that (except thru a lawyer to file for divorce).

3. Thank you for making my life harder.

Actually it is not people like him. It is actually the people like his wife who get themselves mixed up in situations like this, then go scream at the government that THEY should have protected them. So then the government runs off and gets tougher on new immigrants and enacts new laws. There is a thing called "personal responsibility" that people like this should learn. I took the undertaking I signed very seriously. She should have as well.

As for the poster, maybe he was a scammer or maybe he is legitimate. We really have no way of knowing one way or another. But it sure sounds like the best recourse is to leave her, get a divorce, and try to put it behind you.

It makes me wonder how the new system will be. A system where the abusive sponsor can demand what they want or ship the spouse back home with the government's assistance. Sure they have appeals and other things to "prevent abuse" but we all know how well those systems normally work.

 

[steerpike]

Point 2 is blackmail. If she's able to prove it, it's a crime. Do not make threats. They can be used against you.

No it's not

"Extortion (also called blackmail*, shakedown, outwresting, and exaction) is a criminal offence of unlawfully obtaining money, property, or services from a person, entity, or institution, through coercion."

All he would be doing is demanding that person not contact him anymore. That is not money, property or services.

 

[parker24]

No it's not

"Extortion (also called blackmail*, shakedown, outwresting, and exaction) is a criminal offence of unlawfully obtaining money, property, or services from a person, entity, or institution, through coercion."

All he would be doing is demanding that person not contact him anymore. That is not money, property or services.

The second part IS money. "or you will go on welfare and she will be responsible for paying all of it for the next few years."

 

[steerpike]

The second part IS money. "or you will go on welfare and she will be responsible for paying all of it for the next few years."

"unlawfully obtaining money"

Welfare is not an unlawful way to obtain money.

 

[scos]

Point 2 is stupid anyway. Welfare doesn't pay enough for a good life. So if he is already working you are saying he could quit his job and live a much poorer life for revenge? And if he goes on while retaining his employment he is guilty of welfare fraud. The correct way is leave. Divorce her. And if she becomes harassing, get a restraining order. And if at some point he does NEED to go on welfare or unemployment, then do so out of necessity, not revenge.