So discouraging...but on the bright side...

[Mrs. Turan]

Well been living here in Istanbul with my husband since August of 2010. Sent my appeals papers right before I
moved here and they only just accepted my papers January 20th of 2011. I contacted my local MP in the hopes
that the length of time it would take would be 10 months from the time I sent my appeals papers (in August
2010) but to no avail. There are no exceptions for anyone.
Oh I miss my family! :'( I wish we could move to Canada together right now. And yes I know I can still look
on the bright side. My Turkish has improved immensely. I've learned how to cook Turkish food. I sleep with my
husband every night and wake up with him every morning. I know his family and they know me too. I have
learned about another culture and how to be a good Turkish wife LOL.
By the time I go home it will be almost a year we will have been living together and 2 years since we got
married. I just hope I get something positive soon because there are some days when my husband says we
should just stay in Turkey because he feels kind of offended that he has not been accepted there. He's a very
hard worker never been in trouble with the law and his family has always been important. Now I'm his priority and
his life is so different. I know and so does everyone. He loves me so much! As much as I love him! I could never
just go back to Canada now and wait it out without him. It breaks my heart to even consider the notion and I
know my husband does not want to let me go either.
Yes so discouraging but this has really brought us closer together too.

 

[Bangkokcanuck]

Albeit for a longer period of time my situation is much like yours in that I am living out of the country with my family. I much like yourself would never consider moving back to Canada and leaving them alone and waiting for them. Canada is a wonderful country and the country of my birth but if they don't want my wife to join me and her son's in Canada then they are saying they don't want me to return either. So remember there is a great big world out there, Canada is not the only great place on earth. Don't be offended by the process as silly as it seems sometimes there is at least some method to the madness and those of us that are in real long term relationships need to just dot those I's cross those T's and what will be will be.

 

[missmini]

Yes so discouraging but this has really brought us closer together too.

and this is how u should think every day don't give up, all this will make ur relationship stronger...i'm also living so far from my family, just to be with the one i love, learning Arabic ??? and hope one day we'll all be together in Canada...it's hard but all will b ok at the end

it's very good that u live with ur husband now, prepare a strong appeal, hire a lawyer, gather proofs from this time when u live together; maybe u will win and then things will go much faster, u'll see the light at the of the tunnel brighter

if it does not bother u to talk abt it, can i ask, why did they reject u in the 1st place? what happenned 2ur interview?

best of luck, time is by ur side (more time will pass more they will see that ur relationship is genuine)

 

[Mrs. Turan]

Thank you Bangkokcanuck and missmini for your encouraging words. Some days are harder than others but I am very grateful to be with my husband so I don't want to complain too much because I am happy. My family have a hard time understanding why it has taken so long. People seem to think its easy to come into Canada but its really not.

I don't mind talking about it missmini. My husband did not do well at his interview. We've gone over it a thousand times since then and he feels badly about it. He just wasn't prepared for the line of questioning that he was subjected to. My husband doesn't speak english and we asked for his interview in Turkish. I only just recently read over the questions for the interview and she questioned him in English to test him (I guess) anyways that totally through him off. After that she interviewed him in Turkish but her Turkish was about as good as mine and my husband does not think she even understood everything he said. He forgot a whole bunch of things too(kind of important things) like my birthday and my sons' name and where I live. She was very judgemental about our relationship. She mentioned in her notes about our age difference(I'm 10 years older than my husband) and our cultural and educational differences. Which is crap because she doesn't know me or what I've been through in my life. And she didn't seem to know that much about Turkish culture either to say all Turkish people are like this or that.

I know my husbands family and they are amazing people. My Mother came and stayed here with us for 5 weeks last summer and got to know everyone very well which is just what we all needed. I don't think we're gonna get a lawyer though cause we just can't afford it. But we'll work hard to build up a good case for our appeal. My husband is really glad I have to do the appeal because that interview really affected him. He still feels bad about it. Like he's just not good enough now. And you know my husband is a very proud man he just was not prepared for how it is done. Before the interview he never had any doubt that he would be accepted for Permanent Resident Status now he wonders if its worth it. I think it was just a little traumatizing if you can understand that.

 

[Bangkokcanuck]

Thank you Bangkokcanuck and missmini for your encouraging words. Some days are harder than others but I am very grateful to be with my husband so I don't want to complain too much because I am happy. My family have a hard time understanding why it has taken so long. People seem to think its easy to come into Canada but its really not.

You're welcome. You are quite right until someone goes through the process they have no idea and of course those of us that are born in Canada a lot of the time have no idea what a great country it is until we are gone. I can't tell you how many friends and family that we told last year we are planning to go to Canada in 2011 that said to us things like why so long and what are you waiting, etc. Then when I explained my wife needed to be "approved" they often times laugh at first as they think I am joking. Then when I explain the process to them they are shocked what we go through.

I can tell you my wife speaks quite good English having been in the West a fair bit and she is terrified of having to do an interview. She is so sure that it will be so stressful her English skills will slip and she will have a hard time focusing on the questions as asked. Tell your husband to go easy on himself he is not the first and won't be the last to have a hard time when put under that pressure. I wish you all the best in getting it sorted out going forward.