Marriage is ending.

[IslandAnnie]

I am very sorry to hear of any marriage ending...and I am even sadder to hear of yours ending ELO, because those of us who have had to live apart from those we love know the difficulties. You have my sympathy and prayers....

Here is one bit of truth and advice.. if even one person in a marriage says it's over, that is enough. Like someone said earlier, it take two to make a marriage work. Life is very short (and I am plenty old enough to know it is VERY short), so be HAPPY. I have seen too many people waste years in marriages where they will never be happy because their spouse has no commitment to work on it. If you have done everything you can to make it work, then there is nothing more you can do..we don't have control over other people.

I hope you do what makes you happy... a marriage ending is very painful, but after a time there is healing and after healing, opportunity for true happiness. (I know this because it took over 50 years, one divorce and being widowed once, for me to find it.)

Wishing love to all,
Annie

 

[sunsun]

I have a friend who was also wanted to get divorce with her husband few years ago. Both of them wanted divorce... I tried my best to help my friend....
Finally she listened to me ... She and her husband went to marriage consultation in their church.....Now They are happy as a husband and wife with their daughter....

 

[sunsun]

I think the best solution for you is You must go to see your husband and live with him.... May be he can change his mind... Share together yours problems....
Losing our parent is really hard time..... My father died in 2002 and I feel lost and always flash back about him.....It's Life...

 

[ELOH]

Thank you all. Maybe six months ago we could've saved it. But it has been too long and too stressful. He doesn't even want to see me. SO, maybe it was not the love I thought. Either way, my heart is broken. My marriage is broken. And I do not think it had to be.

 

[Shiny88]

I think the best solution for you is You must go to see your husband and live with him.... May be he can change his mind... Share together yours problems....
Losing our parent is really hard time..... My father died in 2002 and I feel lost and always flash back about him.....It's Life...

i agree , since the hubby cannot take the distance and want separation, wife should pack up and go leave there even if she has to loose her job, one has to make the sacrifice.job is easy to get but love isnt. And they are in neibouring country which is easier than overseas... I wish from my heart that they stay togheter, we are thousands of people dealing with this hardship. :-\ but we should stay strong..

I cry almost everyday,think about giving up,but when i think that i love him and what made me marry him, i hold on..and i know someway somehow i will be united to my otherpart whereever it is ,whenever it is..it will be sometime soon.

 

[sunsun]

Listen .... he hasn't divorced you , ok ? You still have a chance.....Please call him right now...or ask someone to call him first , tell him that you want to see him... Tell him that you love him so much..... Don't think of your ego or his ego..... Just do it before it is too late.....
If I were you , I will call him and see him even he doesn't want to see him.....
Don't tell me that both of you love each other so much before and now not anymore because of immigration.....
Bring your children together to see him right now , ok ?

 

[sunsun]

Correction : even he doesn't want to see me.... Sorry..

 

[messenger]

Hi to all

ELOH you got my sympathy!

I like to say something here although I don't know if I'm entitled because I am a sponsor and living in Europe with my spouse till she gets approved. But I have been in life for 57 years now carrying the wisdom those years gave me

Just imagine a small 1 meter (3 feet) ditch on the road
Imagine an adult effortlessly jumping over it!
Now just imagine a child... a small child
is it the same?
No.. of course not!

This is what ELOH is trying to say here. To her this is a great problem. To the other woman whose family is still in Pakistan it is also a great problem. Distance is the issue here. 2000 miles to 10000 miles is a lot but to these ladies it is as far as the moon!

 

[Merlyns_Tim]

Hi to all

ELOH you got my sympathy!

I like to say something here although I don't know if I'm entitled because I am a sponsor and living in Europe with my spouse till she gets approved. But I have been in life for 57 years now carrying the wisdom those years gave me

Just imagine a small 1 meter (3 feet) ditch on the road
Imagine an adult effortlessly jumping over it!
Now just imagine a child... a small child
is it the same?
No.. of course not!

This is what ELOH is trying to say here. To her this is a great problem. To the other woman whose family is still in Pakistan it is also a great problem. Distance is the issue here. 2000 miles to 10000 miles is a lot but to these ladies it is as far as the moon!

I also feel such Sympathy for you ELOH. I know the stresses involved in something like this, being an older person who's been waiting for my wife for way too long already.
For some it's no big deal and something a couple should be able to work out but, ... if only one still wants it there's a pretty much insurmountable problem. All you can do is pick up the pieces and move on knowing there is someone out there who wants you, and may be right there in your own country so you don't have to go through such frustration and expense again as you await approval by people who seemingly don't care about what the wait is doing to you.

 

[Kayvanblue]

The additional stress of 2000 miles, extended waiting periods, dwindling savings accounts and living in limbo finally took its toll. Four years I have been with my husband. We have been married for two. We applied 16 months ago and are in our forties. He lost his mom. I lost my dad. We both have kids. And we loved each other very much. But we have not heard anything and now my husband is stressed out and I cannot help. This is all due to the extension of the process and not knowing when it will end. Say what you will about people waiting longer. You are not us. WIth our circumstances. And my heart is broken. He wants us to end our marriage now. Thank you, CIC. Thanks for your support everyone. I wish it would've gone differently for us.

My dad was a political prisoner in other side of the world...my mom waited for him exactly 6 years 3 month 22 days here in canada while everyone kept on telling her to divorce my dad...to this date their love is unbreakable...16 month and you already lost it? Go figure the true love..if i were an immigiration officer and wanted to issue u the visa while seeing this post here u were failed.. I did nt mean to ofend you..

 

[Steph C]

I think everybody should give ELOH a break. It's not her fault that her husband is the one who wants to end things. Clearly she's devastated and would have done anything, but her husband wasn't strong enough. People never tell you what their breaking point is until it has already happened. If she would have known that then maybe she could have gone there to save her marriage.

 

[lunas]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry

 

[Ms Malawi]

I think everybody should give ELOH a break. It's not her fault that her husband is the one who wants to end things. Clearly she's devastated and would have done anything, but her husband wasn't strong enough. People never tell you what their breaking point is until it has already happened. If she would have known that then maybe she could have gone there to save her marriage.

I just wanted to say to ELOH that I am sorry and I agree with Steph on this one. We never realize their breaking point and it breaks our hearts when we do. Hindsight is always 20/20. I hope you find the strength for the holiday season and to see you through this heartbreak. Thoughts and hugs to you!

 

[Nevaeha]

The additional stress of 2000 miles, extended waiting periods, dwindling savings accounts and living in limbo finally took its toll. Four years I have been with my husband. We have been married for two. We applied 16 months ago and are in our forties. He lost his mom. I lost my dad. We both have kids. And we loved each other very much. But we have not heard anything and now my husband is stressed out and I cannot help. This is all due to the extension of the process and not knowing when it will end. Say what you will about people waiting longer. You are not us. WIth our circumstances. And my heart is broken. He wants us to end our marriage now. Thank you, CIC. Thanks for your support everyone. I wish it would've gone differently for us.

Eloh, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. (((BIG hug))).

 

[farid-]

First of all really sorry to hear about that. But you will also admit that all of the members are trying to help you by suggesting in between the lines to be strong. N as it's cic, so be patient as well. All of us are in the same board. And if that helps I can give you little background of my story. First of all if you realized I am the one our senior member steaky was mentioning. I am the one living without my husband and above all my only baby son. Who is going to be 5 yrs. In feb. He was only 2.5 when I left him. I will not say distance between us is less than pak. But I will just pray for you that God give you the courage in that difficult phase be strong at least you have your children with you think about me. Sometimes I also get frustrated even mad at my husband n just to mention I ev
en have solid reason to argue with him. As today I m in this crap just because of his mother as my husband is the eldest son didn't support me in my decision that my son should be born in canada u will be surprized by reading this but the culture I belong to inlaws can be that interfering in that important decision n as a female I had a choice to either come to canada or get divorce. At
That point I thought to save my married life as it's way more important than anything in the world. End result because of that sacrafice my husband today is the only one who supported rather forced me to come back to canada n still my,inlaws are not,that happy,about it he is taking care of my child alone. All I want to say it's love, respect for eachother n compromise which makes a couple to be together and deal with the problems in life. Distance do play a big role but there is nothing stronger than anything when someone says I,m with you n will be with you no matter wht happens. I am recently being told by cic that your pr renewal will take a while I,became weak for,a while but when someone more than 3000 miles away said don't worry you are important I m handling everything there n u should deal everything courageously I kind of got the strength to deal with cic again.
So if,you think it's only the distance go to meet him so many things we can't say on phone so spend sometime as a couple if your kids are old enough n if you have someone to take care of them just leave them for two three days. Sort,things out else for the rest of your life,you will be thinking I should have gone n it's because of cic this that. Go for a while n still if tht's his final decision just respect it admit,it and atleast in your heart n your mind it,will be clear that you fought,till the end and you stuggled,whole,heartedly n gave your 100%.
Very best of luck. Be,strong.