Marriage is ending.

[Shiny88]

I agree with this, but we can't put the blame on ELOH. She wasn't the one who gave up on her marriage, her husband did.

I am not saying that Eloh was the weak one infact she is the strong one who want to keep the marriage but her husband is too weak to go on. I am extremely sorry and sad for what she is going trough. I am talking about people like her ''husband''. who give up for the reason of distance.. if it wasnt for distance i am sure later on for simple thing he would leave his marriage...just saying

 

[Luckyman]

I agree with this, but we can't put the blame on ELOH. She wasn't the one who gave up on her marriage, her husband did.

I agree...I really feel for you!
Unfortunately, there is no way you could of known......please don't let this stop you from taking a risk again...maybe it's a sign. The universe works in very mysterious ways.

 

[Merlyns_Tim]

Did you know that in some countries, divorce isn't an option... imagine that...what tyranny, that's so archaic...(sarcasm)

As far as I know the Philippines is the only country in the world that has no divorce allowed. That doesn't mean married couples stay together. What it does mean is they either go through a very long and expensive annulment process or they separate and just live with others. I never said a couple should divorce, but it happens and it's a better option almost every time than living a lie with someone once the love has left.
At least that's the way I see it, and I know I'm not alone on that because a lot of us on here are divorcees who are looking for a better life this time around.

The original poster couldn't help what happened to her. In every split up there are reasons that are unique to that couple. In this case it looks like extreme CIC wait times were at least a contributor.

 

[aerogurl87]

I am not saying that Eloh was the weak one infact she is the strong one who want to keep the marriage but her husband is too weak to go on. I am extremely sorry and sad for what she is going trough. I am talking about people like her ''husband''. who give up for the reason of distance.. if it wasnt for distance i am sure later on for simple thing he would leave his marriage...just saying

Oh Shiny88 I wasn't saying that exactly in response to you. Just some others who posted here. And yeah in your vows you say you plan to stay together "for better or for worse". Well this is one of those times when "the worse" part hits. If you can't withstand the storm, chances are in the future you'd bail as well. I know my boyfriend and I were both stressed out when I moved here with a job because I absolutely hated my employer. So for about the first year, we went through bouts of happiness and then bouts of hell. But he stuck with me through it and we got through. Now I'm waiting and am jobless, which has been negatively impacting us financially. It's hard, but we've promised to be together for the rest of our lives without having a marriage contract even signed yet. So I do believe that if you really love someone you will find a way to make it work no matter what. Whether that means giving up a good job, moving, doing counseling, whatever it takes. You will do it for the one that you love.

 

[Shiny88]

If the marriage involve in physical , emotional violence, cheating and extreme lying They should seprate and before that try to work it out if not leave the relationship. But argument, money problem, and other stu8id thing cant be a good reason to divorce,c`mon. Then why the hell people marry in the first place.

 

[Shiny88]

Oh Shiny88 I wasn't saying that exactly in response to you. Just some others who posted here. And yeah in your vows you say you plan to stay together "for better or for worse". Well this is one of those times when "the worse" part hits. If you can't withstand the storm, chances are in the future you'd bail as well. I know my boyfriend and I were both stressed out when I moved here with a job because I absolutely hated my employer. So for about the first year, we went through bouts of happiness and then bouts of hell. But he stuck with me through it and we got through. Now I'm waiting and am jobless, which has been negatively impacting us financially. It's hard, but we've promised to be together for the rest of our lives without having a marriage contract even signed yet. So I do believe that if you really love someone you will find a way to make it work no matter what. Whether that means giving up a good job, moving, doing counseling, whatever it takes. You will do it for the one that you love.

oh okay i didnt get it i guess ;D Hope you have a longlasting relationship, i love the fact that you guyz compromise and work things out instead of just giving up. Sometime in marriage people have to sacrifice things for the better or the worst..and keep on holding on each other.

 

[Luckyman]

As far as I know the Philippines is the only country in the world that has no divorce allowed.

I should have clarified that I meant "culturally" not an option.....not legally.

By the way, it is NEVER a better option when there are kids involved! Way too many feel that this is ok in search for a better life, and that is selfish...plain and simple!

The ONLY exception is extreme physical and/or mental abuse.

 

[aerogurl87]

oh okay i didnt get it i guess ;D Hope you have a longlasting relationship, i love the fact that you guyz compromise and work things out instead of just giving up. Sometime in marriage people have to sacrifice things for the better or the worst..and keep on holding on each other.

Thanks, I hope you do as well, and hopefully you can land soon!

Also ELOH, I really do feel for you, but I agree with others that this probably was the universe's way of nudging you into the arms of the man you really are meant to be with. I went through a similar situation with one of my ex boyfriends. We were in a long distance relationship within the US and out of the blue he texted (oh yes, he texted me) to tell me that he wanted our relationship to be over. I cried and cried and begged him to reconsider. Told him I'd fly to go see him the next weekend (while being a broke college student) if he would at least talk to me. He refused and our relationship ended. About two years later when my boyfriend that I'm with now, broke up due to stress and me believing he'd leave me like my ex, the exact opposite happened. We stayed friends for the two weeks or so we were broken up and I gave him a chance because I really still loved him. Within 2 weeks of me giving him a second chance he showed up at my house during the busiest season of his work. He met my family, we talked and worked things out, and a month later I came to Canada on a work permit to be with him. He didn't give up on me, and despite our breakup, I didn't really ever give up on him either. So my point is, when you find the right person they won't just up and leave you. And even if the thought crosses their mind, they will give the relationship a fighting chance.

 

[nanapush]

I think you might find that ELOH has left this conversation and I can't say I blame her.

 

[Kiwi12]

ETOH

I am aware of another couple on a different forum that had the same thing happen to them. They sent there application to Buffalo and then the office closed. They didn't hear from anybody and they had to chase the location of their file. They were given the runaround all over the place and then finally, the day came. After a great deal of effort at getting to the right people, they finally made it. Let me know if you would be interested in reading their posts. I would be happy to help you.

 

[ELOH]

We have ended the past and started new. Together! I have landed and am moving in two months!!!

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

We have ended the past and started new. Together! I have landed and am moving in two months!!!

Congratulations on both counts!!

 

[Sweden]

We have ended the past and started new. Together! I have landed and am moving in two months!!!

Congrats ! that's great to hear - glad to see you got a fresh start with your husband! best of luck on your journey
Sweden

 

[Nevaeha]

Congratulations ELOH!!!!

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

Holy crap Nevaeha....I scrolled down to your post and my eyeballs almost exploded......