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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

Vyn

Star Member
Aug 15, 2019
146
26
Kindly mark my work..im hoping i am making progress

Question: Many adults think that childhood and school days are best days of life. What are the reasons for this? Do you agree or disagree

Some adults believe that the most memorable timeline in their life is during their time in school - from preschool up to college. This is due to the fact that, as a student, you have lesser responsibilities, have more time to interact with others, and explore other things and places. I agree with the majority that school life is the best period in a human lifespan.

Firstly, parents give minimal responsibilities to their child during school years. Their main concern is for their child to focus on their study and enjoy life to the fullest. Some children find it more rewarding to focus on their homeworks and school projects alone and nothing else. For instance, parents allow their children to have access to rewarding activities after completing schoolwork or when the grades are great. There were no pressure given to students aside from attaining outstanding marks. With this reason, adults are agreeing that childhood is best than adulthood, since being an adult, responsibilities increases the soonest you start earning. They become the sole responsible for their own expenses, and decisions in life. For some, it is a challenge and it is hard to overcome.

Moreover, since having lesser expectations from parents, there is more time to mingle and interact with others during the younger years. Engaging in leisure activities are higher than in later age. With a lot of free time at hand, it helps develop deeper relationship with friends and families. A good example to share with is the group activity requirement in school. It has been a common practice during schooling period to stay at a friend’s house to complete group projects. With this practice, it helps in developing relationships with others, work with them collaboratively, and share life stories and secrets. In addition, family gatherings are more frequent especially during school breaks. It is easier to plan for a holiday trip since there are only few things to consider compared to adult life. As an adult you have to think about the finances, other family member’s availability, leave credits at work, and workload after the trip.


Futhermore, with a close relationship with friends and families, it also opens a lot of opportunities to explore places and try new things. Curiosity arises during childhood and later school days, and some of the exposure to the real world happens during school years. Some agrees that life experiences is the best teacher. During the younger years, the person get to experience a lot for the first time. For example, first time to go camping with friends or family, first time to travel alone, and first time to attend Prom Night and other school events, and so on and so forth. As a young explorer, the interest to learn new endeavors are high too. There are so many stones to turn, to fill up the growing mind, unlike as an adult, opportunities are coming in rarely resulting in a decreased interest to try a new path.

To recapitulate, many people agrees that life in school is the most important time in their life because of the overwhelming memories attached to it, there are fewer responsibilities to accomplish, and opportunities to explore and grow were limitless. Additionally, bonding time with friends and families is easier to plan compare to later life due to the many reasons and work is one of it.
 

Vyn

Star Member
Aug 15, 2019
146
26
Sorry to say this ,But please try to write a standard letter
These titles I am wonder ,almost it seems to me , you write for your own , then try to solve it .
Be careful , those 3 bullet points are extremely crucial for expanding and developing , While there are not sufficient matter, You could not be able to write based on them .
Other suggestion is trying to find from authentic trainer's topics
and please challenging with at least rational and logical topic
How possible insurance company respond for lost item . Not all topic has worth and valuable for practicing.However,I accept this challenge and start to write for my own .I'll send it

I see. Noted with thanks.
 

marosa

Hero Member
Oct 9, 2018
249
122
Armenia
NOC Code......
1111
Kindly mark my work..im hoping i am making progress

Question: Many adults think that childhood and school days are best days of life. What are the reasons for this? Do you agree or disagree

Some adults you could use a synonym like grownups here, but ok believe that the most memorable timeline this word has a different meaning than time in their life lives, there’s no single life for all is during their time in school - from preschool up to college the question does not ask about post-school period, you can lose mark for this. In my opinion This is due to the fact that, as a student, you have lesser responsibilities, have more time to interact with others, and explore other things there’s almost no chance to score 7 and above if you use such simple vocabulary and places. I agree with the majority where in the question does it say that the majority thinks this way? that school life is the best period in a human lifespan.

To make this intro worth 7 and above it should be structured in a similar way: It is considered by many grownups that childhood, including the school years, is the best period in our lives. In my opinion, I agree to this statement, since children tend to bear less responsibility and have more spare time.

Firstly, parents give minimal responsibilities to their child during school years. Their main concern is for their child to focus on their study and enjoy life to the fullest. Some children find it more rewarding to focus on their homeworks and school projects alone and nothing else. For instance, parents allow their children to have access to rewarding activities after completing schoolwork or when the grades are great. This won’t be counted as a supporting example by the examiner + the example should relate to and support the main idea, your main idea is not how parents make children do homework There were no pressure given to students aside from attaining outstanding marks. With this reason, adults are agreeing that childhood is best than adulthood, since being an adult, responsibilities increases the soonest you start earning. They become the sole responsible for their own expenses, and decisions in life. For some, it is a challenge and it is hard to overcome.

Moreover, since having lesser expectations from parents, there is more time to mingle and interact with others during the younger years. Engaging in leisure activities are higher than in later age. With a lot of free time at hand, it helps to develop deeper relationship with friends and families. A good example to share with is the group activity requirement in school. This won’t be counted as a supporting example by the examiner It has been present perfect is not applicable here a common practice during schooling period to stay at a friend’s house to complete group projects. With this practice, it helps in developing relationships with others, work with them collaboratively, and share life stories and secrets. In addition, family gatherings are more frequent especially during school breaks. It is easier to plan for a holiday trip since there are only few things to consider compared to adult life. As an adult you have to think about the finances, other family member’s availability, leave credits at work, and workload after the trip.


Futhermore, with a close relationship with friends and families, it also opens a lot of opportunities to explore places and try new things. What close relationships? Your question was about the reasons why it’s cool to be a kid, what new things have you tried during your childhood? Curiosity arises during childhood and later school days, and some of the exposure to the real world happens during school years. Some agrees that life experiences is the best teacher. During the younger years, the person get to experience a lot for the first time. For example, first time to go camping with friends or family, first time to travel alone, and first time to attend Prom Night and other school events, and so on and so forth. As a young explorer, the interest to learn new endeavors are high too. There are so many stones to turn, to fill up the growing mind, unlike as an adult, opportunities are coming in rarely resulting in a decreased interest to try a new path. This last sentence should be supported somehow, because in reality that’s not quite true. You obviously have more freedom as an adult to “try a new path”.

Always ONLY To conclude or In conclusion
, To recapitulate, many people agrees that life in school is the most important time in their life because of the overwhelming memories attached to it, there are fewer responsibilities to accomplish, and opportunities to explore and grow were limitless. Additionally, bonding time with friends and families is easier to plan compare to later life due to the many reasons and work is one of it.
Hi, unfortunately I don’t have much time for a more detailed review and I had to skip some sentences, too. But in the thread there is enough information for anyone to get 7+ even 8+. So I’d advise you to read others’ reviews and imply those to your own essay. That will help you to properly structure your essays, have truly supported ideas with examples etc. Also, read a lot of essays at least to improve vocabulary, that really helps. It takes time and patience to get 7+ in IELTS. Good luck!

You can read at least 10 pages in this thread, starting from 178, for example.
 

marosa

Hero Member
Oct 9, 2018
249
122
Armenia
NOC Code......
1111
Hello All

I got my IELTS general result today. This was my 7th Attempt. Below is my result.

Listening - 8.5
Reading - 8.5
Speaking - 7
Writing -7

my humble suggestion to all people trying for a 8777 score - A part of it is sheer LUCK!!! so ,don't bash yourself , if you don't achieve the required score; However, learn and make changes to your writing techniques ,have faith in yourself and keep going :)

Thanks to all the people who evaluated my essays and helped me ,especially to @cansha @marosa. You are the reason I kept going after every failed attempt (I was stuck in writing at 6.5 in every other previous attempts)

Finally, I'm done with IELTS :)

P.S - My CRS is 475 ,now. With the current FSW cut-off(478) I will not make it. Hope, the cut-off dips in the coming days.
Congratulations and good luck!
 

sara_H_JDT

Hero Member
Dec 28, 2019
338
58
Kindly mark my work..im hoping i am making progress

Question: Many adults think that childhood and school days are best days of life. What are the reasons for this? Do you agree or disagree

Some adults believe that the most memorable timeline in their life is during their time in school - from preschool up to college. This is due to the fact that, as a student, you have lesser responsibilities, have more time to interact with others, and explore other things and places. I agree with the majority that school life is the best period in a human lifespan.

Firstly, parents give minimal responsibilities to their child during school years. Their main concern is for their child to focus on their study and enjoy life to the fullest. Some children find it more rewarding to focus on their homeworks and school projects alone and nothing else. For instance, parents allow their children to have access to rewarding activities after completing schoolwork or when the grades are great. There were no pressure given to students aside from attaining outstanding marks. With this reason, adults are agreeing that childhood is best than adulthood, since being an adult, responsibilities increases the soonest you start earning. They become the sole responsible for their own expenses, and decisions in life. For some, it is a challenge and it is hard to overcome.

Moreover, since having lesser expectations from parents, there is more time to mingle and interact with others during the younger years. Engaging in leisure activities are higher than in later age. With a lot of free time at hand, it helps develop deeper relationship with friends and families. A good example to share with is the group activity requirement in school. It has been a common practice during schooling period to stay at a friend’s house to complete group projects. With this practice, it helps in developing relationships with others, work with them collaboratively, and share life stories and secrets. In addition, family gatherings are more frequent especially during school breaks. It is easier to plan for a holiday trip since there are only few things to consider compared to adult life. As an adult you have to think about the finances, other family member’s availability, leave credits at work, and workload after the trip.


Futhermore, with a close relationship with friends and families, it also opens a lot of opportunities to explore places and try new things. Curiosity arises during childhood and later school days, and some of the exposure to the real world happens during school years. Some agrees that life experiences is the best teacher. During the younger years, the person get to experience a lot for the first time. For example, first time to go camping with friends or family, first time to travel alone, and first time to attend Prom Night and other school events, and so on and so forth. As a young explorer, the interest to learn new endeavors are high too. There are so many stones to turn, to fill up the growing mind, unlike as an adult, opportunities are coming in rarely resulting in a decreased interest to try a new path.

To recapitulate, many people agrees that life in school is the most important time in their life because of the overwhelming memories attached to it, there are fewer responsibilities to accomplish, and opportunities to explore and grow were limitless. Additionally, bonding time with friends and families is easier to plan compare to later life due to the many reasons and work is one of it.
One question I have , really from your side , Is it logical to write 560 words?
Be sure that ,100% you will lose chance to get high score

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I rewrite it for my own,I am not sure did i opt correct vocabulary (lexical) ,I tried to achieve other criteria ,still not assured
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
َAnyway
I put my own Idea , yet I am not certain about any of 4 criteria any one commenting ,it is a great appreciated
;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a general perception and also widely accepted among many grownup that their past time, specifically school days and childhood periods were the most wonderful time of their lives. In view of this, this marvelous time has many unique factors which are not observe in other stages of life, therefore it is changed to unforgettable history for them. From My perspective, I am entirely agree on account of many well-known and tangible evidence that those time were the best time of each person’s life. This essay will be comprehensively discussed the main reasons from positive side.

Having said that, possess less responsibilities, more spare time, unreasonable concern and many more life elements, could be enumerated as a highly precious characteristics of that memorable time in the childhood period .To support this, children are free .As an illustration It might be said that their activity limited to small task such as playing with toys, searching online game through an Internet, watching cartoon ,consequently in short terms they have not faced with the real life situation.

Moreover, Children at this age confront with a great deal of parent’s value which is given to them .More clearly, Parents never have a rigorous behavior with their children. In consequence of this fact, Children far less recognized the dilemma of life and might not be experienced with the unexpected situation and what is happening around themselves .As a result of this, Still life has a delicious taste for them.

In addition, nowadays, educational system has been remarkably changed in compare to the past. Although many new and useful curriculum has been added, yet still weakness in many parts could be sensed .To give a clear example, Most of the programs in any educational level could be completed through a remote virtual applications which are not needed to attend the class .Additionally, elimination of time consuming homework and duties are another sustained claim to prove this fact that why school days never remove from people’s mind.

To conclude, with many reasons to support the matter which especially in today’s world are being made life easier ,thus childhood and school days sense more.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

marosa

Hero Member
Oct 9, 2018
249
122
Armenia
NOC Code......
1111
One question I have , really from your side , Is it logical to write 560 words?
Be sure that ,100% you will lose chance to get high score
Hi, one cannot give a 100% precise score prediction, especially based on only one factor, especially if it’s the word count. I got 8 with the word count of 450+. And actually, it is much easier to get high scores with 3 BP’s IF 1) the essay is properly structured, 2) the exam taker doesn’t get off topic and 3) all the official marking criteria are met.

P.s. take into account that the 250+ rule was first applied when the exam was paper based only, and we obviously type much faster than we write, so it’s actually possible to write more during those 30-40 mins.
 
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sara_H_JDT

Hero Member
Dec 28, 2019
338
58
Hi, one cannot give a 100% precise score prediction, especially based on only one factor, especially if it’s the word count. I got 8 with the word count of 450+. And actually, it is much easier to get high scores with 3 BP’s IF 1) the essay is properly structured, 2) the exam taker doesn’t get off topic and 3) all the official marking criteria are met.

P.s. take into account that the 250+ rule was first applied when the exam was paper based only, and we obviously type much faster than we write, so it’s actually possible to write more during those 30-40 mins.
Yes , But my point was something else
I told ,I had doubt for vocab mark ,remaining I tried to achieve in good score
 

marosa

Hero Member
Oct 9, 2018
249
122
Armenia
NOC Code......
1111
One question I have , really from your side , Is it logical to write 560 words?
Be sure that ,100% you will lose chance to get high score

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I rewrite it for my own,I am not sure did i opt correct vocabulary (lexical) ,I tried to achieve other criteria ,still not assured
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
َAnyway
I put my own Idea , yet I am not certain about any of 4 criteria any one commenting ,it is a great appreciated
;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a general perception and also widely accepted among many grownup that their past time, specifically school days and childhood periods were the most wonderful time of their lives. In view of this, this marvelous time has many unique factors which are not observe in other stages of life, therefore it is changed to unforgettable history for them. From My perspective, I am entirely agree on account of many well-known and tangible evidence that those time were the best time of each person’s life. This essay will be comprehensively discussed the main reasons from positive side.

Having said that, possess less responsibilities, more spare time, unreasonable concern and many more life elements, could be enumerated as a highly precious characteristics of that memorable time in the childhood period .To support this, children are free .As an illustration It might be said that their activity limited to small task such as playing with toys, searching online game through an Internet, watching cartoon ,consequently in short terms they have not faced with the real life situation.

Moreover, Children at this age confront with a great deal of parent’s value which is given to them .More clearly, Parents never have a rigorous behavior with their children. In consequence of this fact, Children far less recognized the dilemma of life and might not be experienced with the unexpected situation and what is happening around themselves .As a result of this, Still life has a delicious taste for them.

In addition, nowadays, educational system has been remarkably changed in compare to the past. Although many new and useful curriculum has been added, yet still weakness in many parts could be sensed .To give a clear example, Most of the programs in any educational level could be completed through a remote virtual applications which are not needed to attend the class .Additionally, elimination of time consuming homework and duties are another sustained claim to prove this fact that why school days never remove from people’s mind.

To conclude, with many reasons to support the matter which especially in today’s world are being made life easier ,thus childhood and school days sense more.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This essay unfortunately has no chance to score 7 and no essay written with a similar approach will, mainly due to the following:

1) Your introduction is too long, introduction is not another body paragraph. We write introduction 1. To directly answer to the question asked, 2. To give an overview of what we’ll talk about in the body paragraphs.

+ Avoid using “this essay will discuss” format.

2) You haven’t brought any examples, saying “for example” doesn’t automatically turn any sentence into an example. Go through this thread or ielts Liz to seewhat examples should look like. They must be practical, specific and relevant.

You’re saying “to give a clear example” well 1)that’s not a clear example at all, 2) if your example is clear enough you don’t even have to say “for example”, “to illustrate”etc.

3) Work on linking words. Your BP 1 shouldn’t start the way it did. You may use structures like “on the one hand... on the orher hand... moreover...” for each BP. Or firstly, secondly etc... I have a detailed comment on this somewhere in this thread, too.

4) You go too “poetic” at times. I don’t know how to explain this, you should feel it yourself. You see such essays ask for an opinion and should be as neutral as possible, you’ve gone emotional with phrases like “life had a delicious taste” (which btw doesn’t sound right in English)...

5) conclusion, look for proper conclusions either in this thread or at ielts liz. Yours doesn’t really conclude the essay.

* In English space goes AFTER the punctuation mark, not before.

p.s. if someone has Cansha’s post link, please share here, thanks.
 

Vyn

Star Member
Aug 15, 2019
146
26
Kindly mark..thank you for your time. @cansha @marosa..or anyone available to comment..

Qns: Shopping is one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why this? Do you think it is positive or a negative development?

In some parts of the world, shopping is considered to be the most chosen leisure activity by young adults. Mainly because it is convenient, and it is an easiest way of de-stressing the mind. I believe it is a positive trend that is beneficial to people.

Firstly, I think engaging in a shopping activity is more convenient than other activities. Going to a shopping mall is hassle-free because membership is not a requirement unlike other leisure activities like access to swimming pools or in a gym. Most of these establishments require you to acquire membership and pay maintenance fees before gaining access. Moreover, purchasing a product without stepping out of the house is what online shopping offers, and this is what grownups enjoy the most.

Furthermore, in the present time, people are getting more busy and not having enough time to relax. Most of their valued time is consumed at work and other matters. Some considered shopping as the fastest solution to divert a stressed mind. Young adults find it relaxing and rewarding to purchase items for self or others. After a hard day at work, one can rest and browse online shopping websites using their smartphones, within minutes they have a recharged energy and mindset. The stress level of the person reduced to almost zero after shopping in some cases.

To conclude, there are many relaxation activities that a person can do, but most of the people prefer shopping as the best option they have. Since shopping is convenient and is easier to access, and it also help in increasing their positive energy. With these favourable effects, shopping has beneficial input to people and I strongly agree to it.
 
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marosa

Hero Member
Oct 9, 2018
249
122
Armenia
NOC Code......
1111
Kindly mark..thank you for your time. @cansha @marosa..or anyone available to comment..

Qns: Shopping is one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why this? Do you think it is positive or a negative development?

In some parts of the world, shopping is considered to be the most chosen leisure activity by young adults maybe instead of paraphrasing “popular” into “chosen” you could paraphrase “young adults”. In my opinion, this phenomenon is beneficial Mainly because it is convenient maybe you mean accessible to most?, and it is an the easiest way of de-stressing the mind. I believe it is a positive trend that is beneficial to people.

Firstly, I think engaging in a shopping activity is more convenient than other activities. Going to a shopping mall is hassle-free because membership is not a requirement unlike other leisure activities like access to swimming pools or in a gym. Most of these establishments require you to acquire membership and pay maintenance fees before gaining access. Moreover, purchasing a product without stepping out of the house is what online shopping offers, and this is what grownups enjoy the most. You have 2 main ideas here: malls don’t have membership and one can shop online - none of those actually answers to the question why it is good that a lot of people shop and none of those is actually developed enough.

To develop an idea you should ask yourself questions:
Why is it good that young people shop? - it is beneficial for the economy (this is my main idea 1); how is it good for the economy? - the more people shop, the more revenue business generates; so what? - the more revenue is generated the more taxes are paid; so what? The more taxes the healthier the economy is. Example - here you can bring an example of opening a shopping mall at an X city, after which the local authorities were able to fix a road or something. I can’t think of good examples right now))) or you can mention how country X reports that Y per cent of their budget consists of corporate taxes...

Another tip - sometimes it’s difficult to find and develop 2 arguments for or against a question, so you’ll have better chances to score 7 and above, if you say that the question is beneficial in some cases and harmful in others. For example you can say “In my opinion this trend is highly advantageous for the economy, but has certain social drawbacks. Then in BP1 you’ll say why it’s good for the economy and in BP2 why it’s bad for the society. Or good for the global economy, bad for local one... good for businesses bad for people/consumers... etc.


Furthermore, in the present time, people are getting more busy and not having enough time to relax. Most of their valued time is consumed at work and other matters. Some considered shopping as the fastest solution to divert a stressed mind. Young adults find it relaxing and rewarding to purchase items for self or others. After a hard day at work, one can rest and browse online shopping websites using their smartphones, within minutes they have a recharged energy and mindset. The stress level of the person reduced to almost zero after shopping in some cases.

To conclude, there are many relaxation activities that a person can do, but most of the people prefer shopping as the best option they have. Since shopping is convenient and is easier to access, and it also help in increasing their positive energy. With these favourable effects, shopping has beneficial input to people and I strongly agree to it.
Hi, please see above.

Again, if you really want to get 7 and above read reviews on other essays. I haven’t brought not a single tip here that wasn’t repeated in this thread at least 3 times. Good luck!
 

Vyn

Star Member
Aug 15, 2019
146
26
Write a letter to friend who lives in different city and:

Tell him about your recent job offer
Tell him about the arrangements for dinner that you planned for celebration
Tell him about his accommodation plans

Dear Janna,

I’m wishing that you are in a positive mindset and great spirit upon receiving my letter. As for me, I’m feeling elated and dazed about the recent happening in my life. I’m happy to share with you that finally I’ve received a job offer at Mark’s Accounting firm as one of their Consultant.

Before I commence working with them next month, I like to meet and catch up with you. It's my great pleasure to celebrate this wonderful event with you - my dearest friend. I made a reservation at Tiara’s Buffet Restaurant on the 27th of August at seven in the evening. We have 4 weeks time to prepare for our date, but do let me know if this arrangement is fine, if not I can arrange for rescheduling for earlier date or time.

Please not to worry about the place to stay in, I will start to clean up the guest room at home this coming weekend. Just like the old days, we can have a night chat before sleeping. I can’t wait to hear your stories too.

I’m super excited to hear from you.

Hugs and kisses,

D
 

Vyn

Star Member
Aug 15, 2019
146
26
Hi, please see above.

Again, if you really want to get 7 and above read reviews on other essays. I haven’t brought not a single tip here that wasn’t repeated in this thread at least 3 times. Good luck!

Thank you for sharing your time to give feedbacks. I have been reading previous comments from you and Cansha and really am trying my best to incorporate all remarks, but still a long way for me I guess.

Thank you.
 
Last edited:

Rehanyousaf

Full Member
Feb 4, 2019
38
6
33
Pakistan
Hello @cansha @marosa @CA GURPREET SINGH MANN

I applied for EOR and my result got revised. My updated result is

L 8
R 8
W 7
S 7.5

Thanks a lot for all the unconditional support throughout this time. My update CRS is 468 which a bit below than required cut-off score. I will appear again within two weeks to get 7.5 in writing and 8.5 in listening.

Thanks alot again.
 
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sara_H_JDT

Hero Member
Dec 28, 2019
338
58
Hello @cansha @marosa @CA GURPREET SINGH MANN

I applied for EOR and my result got revised. My updated result is

L 8
R 8
W 7
S 7.5

Thanks a lot for all the unconditional support throughout this time. My update CRS is 468 which a bit below than required cut-off score. I will appear again within two weeks to get 7.5 in writing and 8.5 in listening.

Thanks alot again.
Congratulation to you !
It is a great pleasure ;) I highlighted a last line of your comment
I will appear again within two weeks to get 7.5 in writing and 8.5 in listening.
Could you kindly explain and discuss what had you been doing before took an IELTS exam to achieve this appreciable score within Just 2 weeks ?
Please discuss on both Listening and writing as well
Please type all your strategy and tactics to get such a this mark in short terms ?

If also possibly , Please write it separately for each skills
and please If you remember your essay , Put it here as well

Thanks and Regards
Best wishes
Good Luck