IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[santz88]

Hi guys
Need your sincere suggestion regarding ielts writing coaching..
I came across a website called ielts podcast..
They are offering a course where they raise our score from 6.5 to 7 and if they don't they return our money back.. Is it worth trying..
I gave my exams 5 times and struck6with that 6.5 in writing all the times. Please suggest

 

[nthalork]

In Many Cities today, most people live in large apartment blocks, does this kind of accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

Nowadays, the majority of people, around the world, live in high rise complexes in cities. This style of livings has few disadvantages like the compact size and lesser community interaction while the main advantages are its ability to accommodate more families, enhanced safety and lower cost.

The main disadvantages of living in an apartment block are the lack of space for children to play. This is because most apartments are small in size and do not have front and backyards and children do not get enough open space to play around, which is very important for their health and physical growth. Another disadvantage of living is flat is that residents do not get the opportunity to interact with the community. As apartment buildings are constructed in a much-closed manner, inhabitants cannot communicate with their neighbors freely unlike in traditional houses.

Turning to the advantages, one of the preponderant benefits of living in skyscrapers is that these buildings can accommodate a large number of families in a very small space. If these buildings would not have been there, people need to travel long distances and most cities do not have adequate space for a large number of independent houses. Moreover, apartment complexes are safer and secure as they are equipped with a state of art security system and have multiple layers of checkpoints for visitors so trespassing in very difficult. All these facilities just cost a small amount to a household as expenses are equally shared by all residents, which otherwise would have unaffordable for the residents. Last but not least, apartments are comparatively cheaper than traditional houses as the average cost per unit is quite lower due to the economy of scale.

To recapitulate, a large number of people these days live in multi-story complexes. Although there are some drawbacks to this way of living such as lack of space and lower community interaction, the flat system is more advantageous it is cheaper, safer, and houses a large number of families.

Shall I give my opinion in the introduction itself in this type of essay?

 

[Maha02]

Thanks!! Winters are yet to arrive but quite near.

Hi,

Hi,
Please review my essay.

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


It is often argued that people should not be permitted to smoke in public places, since it has adverse effects on the people who are in the surroundings. I completely concord with that view, because passive smoking significantly affects an individual’s health.

It is certainly true to say that the smokers affect their health condition badly by excessive or regular smoking. Unfortunately, it impacts a nearby innocent person, as he also inhales that toxic smoke. Generally, smoking in workplaces and shopping malls would act as an impediment for other’s health as they are also prone to deadly diseases like lung cancer and bronchitis. It is quite possible to have a pregnant women or children in all the throng, and the consequences of passive smoking would sorely affect them. Constant smoking can be very intrusive and annoying to the public. Researches have evidently proved that passive smoking is as much as dreadful as active smoking.

There is, however, a faction that claims that smoking acts as a stressbuster and helps to take a breath of air in their mundane lives. Moreover, it is quite impossible to construct smoking zones far away from workplace, as it consumes a lot of money and space.

To conclude, public smoking is a serious phenomenon and measures must be taken to prevent this detrimental behaviour. Government must strenuously prohibit the practice of smoking in public places. Furthermore, severe punishments in terms of hefty fines must be imposed so that smokers would eventually succumb to public smoking. Both government and individuals must collectively work together to stop this act.

 

[Flakyyy4]

Hi can u please rate my essay?

Topic:
Many big cities are growing even more nowadays. What are the problems associated with this and the possible solutions to these problems?
=====================
Nowadays, a lot of big cities are developing more than they ever did before. This essay will discuss two main problems related to developments in the cities which includes traffic congestion and overpopulation of people. This essay will also suggest possible solutions to these problems including provision of better transport systems and development of rural areas in the country.

Growth in the urban areas are becoming more rapid and as such creating more problems with its developments in which traffic congestion is among the problems. Many people in the cities now own cars to ease their movements from one place to another thereby causing overcrowding on the roads. For instance, Mr A, B and C owns a car, they all work on the islands and are also neighbors but instead of Mr A and B to follow C and vice versa, they all prefer to go with their own cars thus, causing more cars to be on the road which in turn causes congestion. In addition, over population of people is also one of the many problems faced in urban areas due to the fact that rural areas has been neglected and left undeveloped thus making more people move into the city to enjoy basic amenities and a better living condition. An example is a man that graduated from a university located in the rural area and could not get a job because there are limited number of employments in the rural area so migrated to the city to seek greener pastures. The above reasons mentioned are the main difficulties facing big cities.

Presently, the urge to move to big cities is increasing due to the intense developments experienced in big cities. Provisions of a reliable, comfortable and easy to access means of transport by the government will ease movements of people thence, limiting the temptation of owing a private car. For example, if the government provide a means of transportation that has the above mentioned attributes , the numbers of cars on the road will be limited because there is no hassle involved in getting to different locations around the city. Furthermore, another solution is for the government to develop rural areas by creating job, schools and other basic amenities to mention but a few. For instance, if a good school is in the rural area where i live, i would not have to move to the city to gain quality education.

To conclude. the continuous growth encountered by the cities thus leading with a great margin of development compared to the rural areas which in turn causing difficulties in the cities. This essay discussed two main problems which are traffic congestion as a result of many cars plying the road and lots of people moving to the city hence, making it overcrowded. This essay also discussed two possible solutions which included; governments paying more attention to the small cities by providing them with basic amenities and making available good transportation systems in the cities.

 

[nik18wad]

Hi All,

Today I received the score for my 4th IELTS GT attempt and felt the need for writing strategy/tips before giving another attempt. Please help with the writing suggestions.

Score in previous attempts are,
1st L: 7.5, R: 8, S: 6.5, W: 7
2nd L: 8.5, R: 8, S: 6.5, W: 6.5
3rd L: 8, R: 8.5, S: 7, W: 6.5
4th L: 9, R: 8, S: 7.5, W: 6.5

I know you guys have already shared numerous tips and ideas but it is hard to locate those as I am new to this thread.

Thank you for your time and help.

 

[Pratibha chaudhary]

Hello ... can anyone help me??
I gave my academic ielts exam on 10th oct 2019 (yesterday)
I made some mistakes
In task 1 ... it was bar graph ... but i wrote line graph instead of bar graph ... how much bands would deduct of this mistake??
In task 2 ... the question was .. people are changing their jobs during their worklife
What are the reasons behind it ?
Do you think it is positive or negative development for the society??
Firstly .. i hve written the introduction like this
In people life , career means a lot to them because it is the way of success. In past, people stuck to one job,however,nowadays due to some reasons people are changing their workfield . According to me, it is a positive development for the society. The forthcoming paragraphs evidently depict about the reasons with an example.
Then in bp1 and bp2 i gave reasons ... i gave total 3 reasons
The second question ... i gave in conclusion ....
To recapitulate, it has positive impact on society development because if a person do work with his own wish then he will do more hard work which would be beneficial for company as well as society.
That's it .. it was my conclusion
According to you all ... i have done right or wrong?? Everyone is saying that in bp2 .. positive or negative development points should be there .... bt i wrote only reasons in both bp
How much band would i get?? After these mistakes??
If anyone can help me .. then please do.
Thank you

 

[nthalork]

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A certain number of people believe that higher education institutions should teach lesser theoretical subjects and impart more practical knowledge throughout the studies. I completely agree with this notion because more practical training will ensure that learning lasts longer and pupils are job-ready when they come out of academic buildings.

To begin with, practical knowledge lasts longer than theoretical knowledge. This is due to the fact that the human mind processes pictures and visual quicker than any other mode of input, such as audio or books. For instance, a survey by World Cognitive Council has discovered that students who were given a practical demonstration of a unit have outperformed the students who were taught by a book.

Moreover, practical knowledge makes pupils work ready. After higher education degrees most students move to field to work with different organizations, there they need more of a practical knowledge than theoretical as they have to perform various tasks. For example, most people employed in the financial sector needs good command over the computer as they have to input a lot of data and perform complex calculations as part of their routine tasks. Hence, someone who has hands-on experience on computer is more likely to be employed in this sector than those, who do not have practical computer skills.

To conclude, a group of people think that more practical training should be included in the syllabus. In my opinion, this would be advantageous for students as this will not only make knowledge more lasting but also make them employment ready.

 

[cansha]

Hello ... can anyone help me??
I gave my academic ielts exam on 10th oct 2019 (yesterday)
I made some mistakes
In task 1 ... it was bar graph ... but i wrote line graph instead of bar graph ... how much bands would deduct of this mistake??
In task 2 ... the question was .. people are changing their jobs during their worklife
What are the reasons behind it ?
Do you think it is positive or negative development for the society??
Firstly .. i hve written the introduction like this
In people life , career means a lot to them because it is the way of success. In past, people stuck to one job,however,nowadays due to some reasons people are changing their workfield . According to me, it is a positive development for the society. The forthcoming paragraphs evidently depict about the reasons with an example.
Then in bp1 and bp2 i gave reasons ... i gave total 3 reasons
The second question ... i gave in conclusion ....
To recapitulate, it has positive impact on society development because if a person do work with his own wish then he will do more hard work which would be beneficial for company as well as society.
That's it .. it was my conclusion
According to you all ... i have done right or wrong?? Everyone is saying that in bp2 .. positive or negative development points should be there .... bt i wrote only reasons in both bp
How much band would i get?? After these mistakes??
If anyone can help me .. then please do.
Thank you

No point in speculating what score you will get. Just wait for the results.

 

[cansha]

I know you guys have already shared numerous tips and ideas but it is hard to locate those as I am new to this thread.

Buddy you are spending so much money on the test and you don't want to do effort to search for information. Need to be better than that.

In any case this post summarizes the most common feedback I have given on many essays on this forum. Should be a good place to start
https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485

 

[cansha]

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A certain number of people believe that higher education institutions should teach lesser theoretical subjects and impart more practical knowledge throughout the studies. I completely agree with this notion because more practical training will ensure that learning lasts longer and pupils are job-ready when they come out of academic buildings. Good job with the introduction. It is clear and you have given reasoning for your opinion. So now I know what the essay will explore. I would probably rephrase the portion in red but it is not wrong.

To begin with, practical knowledge lasts longer than theoretical knowledge.
This is due to the fact that the human mind processes pictures and visual quicker than any other mode of input, such as audio or books.
Two major issues here - First you could have combined these two sentences to make it more impactful. And second and the biggest issue does practical knowledge mean visuals??? Seriously? Don't you think you are limiting your own argument. Pictures and visuals could still be theoretical isn't it. So for example lets say we are studying about gravity .. whether I read a book or I see a video which tells me the same information in audio / video format .. it is still theoretical knowledge .. right? Differentiate between theoretical vs practical knowledge.
For instance, a survey by World Cognitive Council has discovered that students who were given a practical demonstration of a unit have outperformed the students who were taught by a book. Very weak paragraph.

Moreover, practical knowledge makes pupils work ready. My one tip for you is that avoid writing a simple sentence as the beginning of your paragraph. If you are doing that then more often than not your BP won't be impactful.
After higher education degrees most students move to field to work with different organizations, there they need more of a practical knowledge than theoretical as they have to perform various tasks. See this line is repetitive.
For example, most people employed in the financial sector needs good command over the computer as they have to input a lot of data and perform complex calculations as part of their routine tasks. Hence, someone who has hands-on experience on computer is more likely to be employed in this sector than those, who do not have practical computer skills. Good idea but not executed well.

To conclude, a group of people think that more practical training should be included in the syllabus. WHY are you writing this again. This looks like the intro para again.
In my opinion, this would be advantageous for students as this will not only make knowledge more lasting but also make them employment ready.

Okay big positive was that your introduction was on point and strong. I was intrigued to read further based on your arguments and I was looking forward to see how you expand on those. But it went downhill from there. BP1 is not good at all. BP2 at least has some substance. But the conclusion is again very weak. You are getting there. Spend some more times in thinking and expanding your thoughts. If it takes you to write 3 hours to write an essay even that is fine. For now don't worry about time. Just worry about what you want to say and how you say it. Believe me once you nail that down time won't be ever an issue.

 

[aman_0009]

Can anyone please evaluate my essay , I have my exam very soon

Dear @H0peAndFa1th and @cansha or any volunteer

Can u please give your comments on this essay? Thanks in Advance.

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement ?


It is often argued that government should finance public services rather than wasting budget on art, music and theatre. However, my views are in strong contrast with the given statement. I elucidate my stand in subsequent paragraphs.

At the outset, most conspicuous reason which reinforce my perception is that arts, theatre and music help in the growth of economy in numerous ways. Since, people from different countries often travel to attend/ take part in theatre ,drama and music concerts. As a result, spending of those visitors add on to local economy. Further substantial viewpoint is these skills like art and music often create plethora of employment opportunities. Here, an empirical evidence reveals that music industry alone is contributing almost 25% to employment opportunities among youngsters. Hence, government cannot think of ignoring investments to music, art and theatre industry.

In addition to the aforementioned ideas, another worthwhile standpoint is that these skills help in upgrading the status of the nation. To be specific, a country who has more talented and unique citizens in terms of arts and theatre can be leader in that particular industry. Therefore, major chunk of government budget should be invested on it. Furthermore, music/art/theatre should be become a compulsory subject in every school. As per mentioned according to the survey done by prestigious media group, almost one third of the british students opted either in music or art as their career choice. Consequently, many of them became very successful in their field.

In conclusion, it is quite discernible from the above mentioned explanation that my inclination towards endorsing this matter is justified as this can only be possible if governing bodies keep supporting arts, music and theatre financially.

 

[nthalork]

You have seen an advertisement for a weekend job as a local tour guide showing visitors around the city.
Write a letter of application to the tourism office. In the letter
- give your reason for wanting the job
- explain why you think you can do the job
- describe any relevant experience you have

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing with reference to your job advertisement in the New Zealand Herald on 10th November for the position of local tour guide on a weekend basis.

As part of my postgraduate degree in travel and tour, I require a minimum of 560 hours of mandatory work experience or on the job training along with the studies. Hence, this job will only help me fulfill the experience requirement but also provide me financial support to meet day to day needs.

Since I am a native of this town and know a great deal about the historical places and public attractions, I consider myself one of the most suitable candidates, who can take people around the town. Moreover, I am bilingual and an excellent orator and storyteller, who can keep the visitors entertained during their trip.

Moreover, I possess over 3 years of experience as a Local Tour Coordinator in a leading five-star hotel, wherein, I was mainly responsible for the coordination of local sight-seeing tours, especially for international tourists. This experience will certainly help me provide outstanding services to the customers and become an excellent tour guide.

I look forward to receiving your favorable response.

Yours faithfully,
Jacky Chen

 

[nthalork]

A certain number of people believe that higher education institutions should teach lesser theoretical subjects and impart more practical knowledge throughout the studies. I completely agree with this notion because more practical training will ensure that learning lasts longer and pupils are job-ready when they come out of academic buildings. Good job with the introduction. It is clear and you have given reasoning for your opinion. So now I know what the essay will explore. I would probably rephrase the portion in red but it is not wrong.

To begin with, practical knowledge lasts longer than theoretical knowledge.
This is due to the fact that the human mind processes pictures and visual quicker than any other mode of input, such as audio or books.
Two major issues here - First you could have combined these two sentences to make it more impactful. And second and the biggest issue does practical knowledge mean visuals??? Seriously? Don't you think you are limiting your own argument. Pictures and visuals could still be theoretical isn't it. So for example lets say we are studying about gravity .. whether I read a book or I see a video which tells me the same information in audio / video format .. it is still theoretical knowledge .. right? Differentiate between theoretical vs practical knowledge.
For instance, a survey by World Cognitive Council has discovered that students who were given a practical demonstration of a unit have outperformed the students who were taught by a book. Very weak paragraph.

Moreover, practical knowledge makes pupils work ready. My one tip for you is that avoid writing a simple sentence as the beginning of your paragraph. If you are doing that then more often than not your BP won't be impactful.
After higher education degrees most students move to field to work with different organizations, there they need more of a practical knowledge than theoretical as they have to perform various tasks. See this line is repetitive.
For example, most people employed in the financial sector needs good command over the computer as they have to input a lot of data and perform complex calculations as part of their routine tasks. Hence, someone who has hands-on experience on computer is more likely to be employed in this sector than those, who do not have practical computer skills. Good idea but not executed well.

To conclude, a group of people think that more practical training should be included in the syllabus. WHY are you writing this again. This looks like the intro para again.
In my opinion, this would be advantageous for students as this will not only make knowledge more lasting but also make them employment ready.

Okay big positive was that your introduction was on point and strong. I was intrigued to read further based on your arguments and I was looking forward to see how you expand on those. But it went downhill from there. BP1 is not good at all. BP2 at least has some substance. But the conclusion is again very weak. You are getting there. Spend some more times in thinking and expanding your thoughts. If it takes you to write 3 hours to write an essay even that is fine. For now don't worry about time. Just worry about what you want to say and how you say it. Believe me once you nail that down time won't be ever an issue.

Thank you very much for your detailed feedback.
In my next essay writeup, I will try to incorporate all these suggestions. I am really nervous as I am planning to write the exam in just a week's time.

 

[cansha]

Thank you very much for your detailed feedback.
In my next essay writeup, I will try to incorporate all these suggestions. I am really nervous as I am planning to write the exam in just a week's time.

Don't be nervous buddy. Relaxing while writing exam is very important as well.

 

[aman_0009]

Dear @cansha please evaluate my essay , I have my exam very soon

Can u please give your comments on this essay? Thanks in Advance.

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement ?


It is often argued that government should finance public services rather than wasting budget on art, music and theatre. However, my views are in strong contrast with the given statement. I elucidate my stand in subsequent paragraphs.

At the outset, most conspicuous reason which reinforce my perception is that arts, theatre and music help in the growth of economy in numerous ways. Since, people from different countries often travel to attend/ take part in theatre ,drama and music concerts. As a result, spending of those visitors add on to local economy. Further substantial viewpoint is these skills like art and music often create plethora of employment opportunities. Here, an empirical evidence reveals that music industry alone is contributing almost 25% to employment opportunities among youngsters. Hence, government cannot think of ignoring investments to music, art and theatre industry.

In addition to the aforementioned ideas, another worthwhile standpoint is that these skills help in upgrading the status of the nation. To be specific, a country who has more talented and unique citizens in terms of arts and theatre can be leader in that particular industry. Therefore, major chunk of government budget should be invested on it. Furthermore, music/art/theatre should be become a compulsory subject in every school. As per mentioned according to the survey done by prestigious media group, almost one third of the british students opted either in music or art as their career choice. Consequently, many of them became very successful in their field.

In conclusion, it is quite discernible from the above mentioned explanation that my inclination towards endorsing this matter is justified as this can only be possible if governing bodies keep supporting arts, music and theatre financially.