IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Varunaimar]

My First Essay, written 36 minutes, timer was set to 35 minutes, will try for 30 minutes next time.

words 270 aprox.

Be brutal as much as you can.

Here's my evaluation: 5.5
Mistakes:
1. Grammatical mistakes: More than 5.
a. Para 1: Most of the parents and school administrators...
b. Para 2 Line 3: Therefore, students will.... Needs a different choice of words
c. Para 2 Line 4: For example,.... Devoting more time to studies
d. Para 2 Line 5: Considering this.... any inputs or feedback (just a different choice of words to make the sentence flow better, but it should be inputs )
e. Para 3 Line 1: ... by asking about...
f. Para 3 Line 2: ... receives ...
g. Para 3 Line 3: .... school needs ...

2. You need to give two solid ideas why you disagree with the statement. However, your second para starts by listing out things in favour

 

[zagcollins]

My First Essay, written 36 minutes, timer was set to 35 minutes, will try for 30 minutes next time.

words 270 aprox.

Be brutal as much as you can.

not a bad attempt at all. Only advice would be keep writing and make sure that you are conscious about your spellings. Words like 'guarantee' and 'biased' are misspelt here. So, be careful. Except that, I like what you have written. Keep it up!

 

[Sungbae_Chun]

My First Essay, written 36 minutes, timer was set to 35 minutes, will try for 30 minutes next time.

words 270 aprox.

Be brutal as much as you can.

Write in text please, for me hard to understand and edit.

Most of the parents, school administrations are concerned about the productivity of teachers. This leads to the conception of the idea that students should evaluate their teachers. Having some benefits of this nation does not (unclear) the perceived outcome. Thus, I do not agree with this statement and will elaborate further in this essay.
Firstly('to begin with' doesn't modify 'young pupils' well, so better use firstly or first of all), young pupils are not mature enough to judge a qualified and experienced teacher. Certainly, the teacher has more life experience under his bolt than students. Therefore, students will never know what to look for to make a judicious evaluation. For example, a student can be biased because of fewer grades(countable - fewer, uncountable - less, I think grades are countable) in a test and will shift the blame on teacher instead of devoting more time to study. Considering this, schools can never rely on input or evaluation provided by students. Thus, it is (unclear) the best idea to judge a teacher performance.
However, on the other hand, it still can be used in some other way, (unclear) about the personality, behavior,(Oxford comma, not necessary, but better put it, sometimes you HAVE to put it; furthermore, you can ALWAYS put it in series of items more than 3) and interaction with students during classes. But schools can only act on this information(no comma) if a teacher (unclear) adverse feedback from the majority of students across various class groups and age groups. The (Idk) teacher is at school, so schools(or the school needs) need(remove s) concrete information before taking any disciplinary action against the teacher. Which need(require, repeated use of need) extra efforts and careful(careful-adj., procedure-noun, carefully - adv., adverbs can't modify nouns. I understood the phrase 'carefully vetting procedure' as 'careful examination process,' if you meant this, then the corrected phrase is the right one) vetting procedure for evaluation received(dependent clause, can't be a complete sentence). This (unclear) procedure(repeated, better use process) makes this technique inefficient and unreliable.
In conclusion, drawbacks outweigh benefits for this idea, (2 independent clauses, use FANBOYS to connect them, or semicolons; colons are ok too, because preceding independent clause describes the previous sentence - '... idea: schools ...')schools should adopt new technology related ideas such as, installing cameras in classrooms, rather than (unclear) students about their teachers'(or teacher's) evaluation, which can be biased and unreliable.

I found these errors, next time please type it.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Here's my evaluation: 5.5

Yes it is, my thoughts were not clear enough.

Words like 'guarantee' and 'biased' are misspelt here.

while writing I forget how to spell guarantee !!! I tend to make these mistakes when I lose my flow, been typing on computer from more than 10 years.

Write in text please, for me hard to understand and edit.

Next time I will write on paper first in 30 minutes then convert it to text for evaluation with exact mistakes.


Thank you all for your time and feedback.
Here's little truth, I was reluctant to write at first then yesterday I did reading which contained reading topic on procrastination !! it moved me a little.

going to take test on 10th February !!

 

[Sungbae_Chun]

Yes it is, my thoughts were not clear enough.

while writing I forget how to spell guarantee !!! I tend to make these mistakes when I lose my flow, been typing on computer from more than 10 years.

Next time I will write on paper first in 30 minutes then convert it to text for evaluation with exact mistakes.


Thank you all for your time and feedback.
Here's little truth, I was reluctant to write at first then yesterday I did reading which contained reading topic on procrastination !! it moved me a little.

going to take test on 10th February !!

Good luck!

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

okay another bullshit essay I wrote. How do I know ?? Because I do read alot, I know how good writing sounds, and it does not sound in any way near that. while re-writing it on computer, I realized what a bullshit piece of writing it is, even I won't grade it above than 5 bands. My vocabulary is good, but I didn't use a single word. I need to write more and alot.

At first timer was set to 30 minutes, but all took 42 minutes, you can see timing on images.

Television has had a significant influence on the culture of many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affected the cultural development of your society ?

Television has played great role in culture awareness among many different societies. It helped people to undestand other traditions, foods and values. Because my country has vast number of indigeneous cultures, and which rarely know about each other, so Television played positive constructive role to bring people closer.

To begin with, as a fact India is one of the biggest country in total area and population wise. It has many unique languages, cultures and traditions. It in not possible for everyone to know about different community which is living thousand kilometer apart from each other. Television played key role here by facilitating people to know each other culture. As a result of this information, people become aware and tolerant about other people. Now they are sharing food recepies different dress types and even new games among them.

Secondly, By spreading cultural information, Television further promoted inter-state tourism. People became more aware of festivals organised by other communities. Then they started visiting each other's festivals, from far South to North and far East to West and so on. By this they bring back more first hand experience about another community and shared it back home which further resulted in exponential growth of tourism. Furthermore, it created demand and supply of goods we have never seen before. New business and employment came into existence, which was once started by Television.

In Conclusion, Television enabled people to share culture in a way which resulted in many new opportunities. Now they have new type of food, dress and places to visit. Not only that, it resulted in economic growth and employment which benefited everybody.

https://i.imgur.com/sTKHve3.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/xlazGGQ.jpg

 

[zagcollins]

okay another bullshit essay I wrote. How do I know ?? Because I do read alot, I know how good writing sounds, and it does not sound in any way near that. while re-writing it on computer, I realized what a bullshit piece of writing it is, even I won't grade it above than 5 bands. My vocabulary is good, but I didn't use a single word. I need to write more and alot.

At first timer was set to 30 minutes, but all took 42 minutes, you can see timing on images.



https://i.imgur.com/sTKHve3.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/xlazGGQ.jpg

good that you are able to critically analyse your own work; however, don't be too harsh. You'll get there eventually. PLEASE, on the other hand, concentrate on your spellings.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

good that you are able to critically analyse your own work; however, don't be too harsh. You'll get there eventually. PLEASE, on the other hand, concentrate on your spellings.

I realized that, when I about to start writing, exactly after timer is set, my mind goes blank, a sudden nervous attack, brain fog, hard to focus kinda thingy happen, I became oblivious about intricate sentence structures, let alone, even forget the basics. Significant transforms to very-very, Profound shifted to more-more, In nutshell, sophisticated thoughts vanishes, simple elementary skills take over by large.

and I don't even know what grammar is !!

I believe band 7 demands at-least 80 % ( read as 90 %) error free sentences, Here I am, shitting the bed.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

here's nice, clear, precise information by swhere [source]

Hi guys,

New here. Was going through this thread and saw the worry of many people that they are scoring less in writing. I think so many aspirants fall in this trap of not clearing 7 in W despite perfect scores in other sections.

I cleared IELTS in July 2017 with CLB 9. L - 8, R - 8.5, W - 7, S - 8. This was my first attempt and my writing score was a shocker for me as that was my forte. I used to get comments from my tutors that my academic writing is impeccable. So here is what I learnt from my experience and that of my husband.

1) For writing exam - read the question properly, I mean with full attention and assimilate it. Then create a map with pencil - this is really important not to miss any part of the question. This should take only 5 minutes and your map should have details like what is there in introduction, body and conclusion including the length you plan to give for each part. (What I did wrong was read the question in a go and started writing as I was way too confident. There were areas where I slightly digressed from the topic, hence the map is of paramount importance.)

2) While doing practice tests always write in A4 paper either with or without lines. Use the aforesaid strategy of map making so that you get used to the planning strategy. Also make sure that you are using a timer. Once you write you will see the mistakes in spelling, grammar, sentence construction, punctuation etc. that you may commit. (What I did wrong during preparation phase of 4 weeks was that I only concentrated on listening and reading. I wrote only one topic on paper, 2 with MS Word and rest I read 4-5 writing essay answers.)

3) If your vocabulary is not that great then start collecting words pertaining to specific topics - say if the topic is about education you should know the following words - faculty, department, tutor, professor, lecture, enroll, curriculum, dissection, intensive course, term, arithmetic, coursework, semester, revise, co-education, pedagogy, didactic, qualification and so on and so forth. (I didn't have any issue in this area. A simple tip is to learn synonyms of words.)

4) Try not to repeat vocabulary and used varied forms of words (as mentioned earlier synonyms) to show the range. Nevertheless make sure that you are using it properly. (e.g. - commonly, normally, generally, regularly, routinely all these have similar meaning.)

5) Make sure that your tense knowledge is good. Use simple present, present perfect, present continuous, simple past, simple future all the possible verb tense forms wherever it is feasible. In addition to that start using both compound and complex sentences too.

6) Never ever commit spelling mistakes. If you are not sure about a word then please don't use it.

7) At the end of the exam give 2-3 minutes to go through the answers to ensure that all the spellings are correct.

8) Also make sure that you are good with articles like a/an - you should know the difference between a vowel sound and consonant sound. (Note - a university degree, an unfair match. I am sure they have these kind of tricks to check whether you know the difference. Make sure you know all of that.)

Congrats to all who got the required scores and good luck to those who are preparing.
​

 

[american_dream]

I took my IELTS on 16th December 2017 for the first time ever and my scores were a decent LRWS 8, 8, 7.5, 7. When I came out of the exam hall, I knew Speaking test didn't go well and I was mentally prepared to take a retest after checking my results. I remember telling myself that I'm a better speaker than my scores and I'll do better in my next attempt. Imagine my relief in getting to CLB9 in my first attempt!

I felt exactly the same about my speaking test in my first attempt on 20th Jan 18 and ended up with scores L8.5 R9 W7 S7.5. I scored a perfect 90 in writing when I took PTE Academic a year ago and was expecting at least an 8.


I kept my formula for writing simple. In the first paragraph, I always start by paraphrasing the question and summarizing what I will be writing or which side I’m taking. Then, I will write two of my best ideas in two paragraphs. Finally, conclude by summarizing again. I placed more emphasis not to have any spelling or grammatical errors, right punctuation, and best connecting words.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

I am an IELTS examiner who just happened to find this site by accident when trying to help one of my students get his result. He kept getting an error message about the connection, and when I googled it I found this site. Ok, while I'm here:

TR 6- you are on topic for the most part, but some of your ideas lack focus, which connects to:
CC 6- your general plan is adequate, your linking is ok, but rather similar to the 'canned' way many people write these sorts of essays; the camera idea in the end is a bit of a no-no- new information in the conclusion shows a lack of planning.The first paragraph is a bit confusing and unfocused. You can feel your ideas progressing from beginning to end, but they wander a bit too much for a higher score. I saw someone recommend ieltsliz- that's a great site and has some good examples of very well organised essays. Use 'less common' linking words so that you don't sound like everyone else.
LR 7- but borderline due to spelling; your range of vocab is good and you have some nice 'less common' language here.
GRA 6 Your grammar is fine, but just so. Range is ok, mistakes not too frequent, but both of these would need to improve for a higher score.

Let's look at the reality of the way these essays are marked- sometimes by poorly trained people who are in a hurry, sometimes by well trained individuals who take the necessary time. It's the luck of the draw. One thing that stands out is your first paragraph- what you are saying here is confusing, mostly due to grammar and vocab problems- 'conception of ideas' 'the perceived outcome'. In terms of the number and gravity of your mistakes, your essay isn't so bad, but the fact that they are in the beginning of the essay might mean that an untrained, hurrying eye might not spend much time on what follows, and you could get a low score because of this. It shouldn't be this way, but in my experience, it unfortunately is.
Do you know the phrase 'you never get a second chance to make a first impression'? I think it applies here.

You can improve your TA/CC by modelling, and getting feedback from somebody who knows. Grammatical range can be improved by adding structures which are easy to put in every essay-- the passive, the present perfect in the first sentence (if you can make a connection between past and present), used to, relative clauses, comparatives etc; Things like spelling and grammatical accuracy are difficult to improve, and nearly impossible if you haven't got much time. Stick to the things that you can fix quickly, and hope you get someone who is untrained and marks high, or someone who takes the time to give your writing a proper evaluation, and is a little kind

Good luck.

Thanks for your time and evaluation, you actually described my state of mind while writing.

I think alot while writing, could write a fine piece in an hour, but not in 30 minutes. Right now I am re-learning everything again, with new perspective, which is, correct my English rather than logic in an essay.

I am continuously noticing my shortcomings while writing and writing them on a side of paper.

with this process I found that,
I take 15-20 minutes at Introduction, could not get the paraphrase right ! hard to find right words etc.
10-15 minutes writing first three lines of first paragraph.

right now I am trying to fix this.

Later, I will post more essays written in 30 minutes, I really hope to improve, and wish to get your feedback.

 

[At the start]

H

Thanks for your time and evaluation, you actually described my state of mind while writing.

I think alot while writing, could write a fine piece in an hour, but not in 30 minutes. Right now I am re-learning everything again, with new perspective, which is, correct my English rather than logic in an essay.

I am continuously noticing my shortcomings while writing and writing them on a side of paper.

with this process I found that,
I take 15-20 minutes at Introduction, could not get the paraphrase right ! hard to find right words etc.
10-15 minutes writing first three lines of first paragraph.

right now I am trying to fix this.

Later, I will post more essays written in 30 minutes, I really hope to improve, and wish to get your feedback.

how did you upload the images here?

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

how did you upload the images here?

I am using https://imgur.com, then tags to insert the image.
hope it helps.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

New Essay!

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Rather than save it for rainy day, People, under the influence of consumerism and instant gratification, tend to spend money as soon as they receive their pay-cheque. This essay will further elaborate possible reasons before deducing a conclusion.

Although, spending represents growth in terms of economics, but it is crucial for ordinary people to save money. However, in contemporary markets, equipped with mass productions and advertisements, Companies lure customers in a fancy way. With these modern tactics, for example, promising a better life after buying their products or service, companies create artificial demand for their products. Hence, influenced by these omnipresent adverts, people spend a huge portion of their earnings on expensive lifestyle products such as watches, shoes, clothes etc. It is the one of main reasons for people to unable to save money.

In addition to this, a human foible known as instant gratification also plays major role in inability to save money. Saving money require great deal of self-control and patience. Not all human beings possess these critical virtues. Oxford psychologist revealed in a study that, for humans it is hard to comprehend distant gains, for example. Beside this, some also argue the uncertainty of future. They claim that, one should enjoy while he can, death is imminent with unpredicted time and location. Thus, both factors fuel more squandering. As a result most people indulge in Alcohol and drugs, which turned into habits and additions, resulting in vicious cycle of uncontrolled spending.

In summary, after considering non-essential buying spree and inability to delay gratification, I feel that spending money thoughtlessly is a negative development and detrimental for overall health of society.


-----
In paper version:

there were some spelling mistakes as usual, in words : Artificial, psychologist, uncertainty, alcohol, thoughtlessly.

change in position of word.
....earnings on lifestyle products such as expensive watches,.....
to
....earnings on expensive lifestyle products such as watches,.....

rest is same, written in about 50-minutes approx.


I can't say about band score, but feeling good after writing this one, though I recognize errors now.

 

[keebs]

Go to www.engvid.com and www.goodluckielts.com, I tried their tips on writing and got 7 and 7.5 in writing sections of my IELTS. Also go through Barrons 1100 word list.

You made an excellent point. “I believe writing needs a proper format (structure, transitions, examples etc) and usage of some good vocabulary, if you have these two, 7 shouldn't be an impossible task.” This is what is needed in writing. When you approach the question, you can make some notes about how you want to structure the question to have a flow from one paragraph to the next. It makes the transition easier as you know exactly what to write about in each paragraph. The use of examples whether they are true or not is very important in writing. Lastly, showing a broaden vocabulary and also being able to make connecting sentences is another keys. These should be enough to get 7 or higher in writing.