IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
Many People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience.
How speaking skill is really important?
To what extent do you agree or disagree students be taught public speaking at school?
It is often found arduous for majority of the people to talk in public or deliver presentations before an audience. While speaking skills are crucial to express feelings and building up self-confidence, I agree that schools are better place to learn public speaking through competition and communication development sessions on school premises.
Admittedly, speaking skills are indispensable to convey messages and expressing feelings effectively. Without these skills it is impossible for people to showcase the exact motive of their speeches. Another point to consider is that with correct understanding of speaking skills people can inculcate confidence, and therefore, perform well not only at their jobs but also at their homes. For example, employers always prefer those candidates who are able to express their previous experience and current skill-set via effective communication.
I believe that schools are the best places to enhance public speaking skills because they follow both theoretical and practical ways to develop child's overall speech skills. At schools, children learn more when they come in direct competition with others. They compare with other children and learn more efficiently towards more improvement. Despite this, often schools organize personality development sessions on school premises, where tutors from varied fields come and teach children the ways of communication. Therefore, children tend to learn more from schools than any other way of teaching about public speaking.
In conclusion, speaking skills are highly important in order to convey meanings correctly and with relevance. Schools stand ahead of any other ways of learning public speaking with direct competition and through valuable communication sessions organized on school buildings.
How speaking skill is really important?
To what extent do you agree or disagree students be taught public speaking at school?
It is often found arduous for majority of the people to talk in public or deliver presentations before an audience. While speaking skills are crucial to express feelings and building up self-confidence, I agree that schools are better place to learn public speaking through competition and communication development sessions on school premises.
Admittedly, speaking skills are indispensable to convey messages and expressing feelings effectively. Without these skills it is impossible for people to showcase the exact motive of their speeches. Another point to consider is that with correct understanding of speaking skills people can inculcate confidence, and therefore, perform well not only at their jobs but also at their homes. For example, employers always prefer those candidates who are able to express their previous experience and current skill-set via effective communication.
I believe that schools are the best places to enhance public speaking skills because they follow both theoretical and practical ways to develop child's overall speech skills. At schools, children learn more when they come in direct competition with others. They compare with other children and learn more efficiently towards more improvement. Despite this, often schools organize personality development sessions on school premises, where tutors from varied fields come and teach children the ways of communication. Therefore, children tend to learn more from schools than any other way of teaching about public speaking.
In conclusion, speaking skills are highly important in order to convey meanings correctly and with relevance. Schools stand ahead of any other ways of learning public speaking with direct competition and through valuable communication sessions organized on school buildings.
@cansha @H0peAndFa1th please evaluate the essay below. 
Topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Healthcare is among one of the basic needs of humans; however, if it should be available completely free of cost in all the nation with the exception for advanced medical treatment which comes with a huge cost is a matter of discussion. In my opinion health care system should be available free of cost to everyone, because it helps people of all financial state to get the treatments for basic illness and for other advanced medical treatments government bodies run various subsidized scheme which may cover these expenses so the exception in the later is acceptable.
Being able to afford the medical treatment is one of the priority for human beings and a fear for a person who finds himself on the other side, which is not being able to afford the treatment for him or family. With the increase in the overall inflation rate, it has become very difficult for a person of poor financial status to afford the healthcare facilities. If governments can provide the basic medical facilities free of cost to its people, they will be able to live a healthy life and put their efforts for the growth and prosperity of the nation. For example, China, despite being one the largest populated country in the world provides free healthcare facility, in return every citizen serves the government and dedicates at least for five years of their life serving the nation.
At the same time, the treatment of the rare diseases, which involves lot of cost due to usage of latest technologies of medical science, may not be available with in the country for which government bodies’ tie-up with other countries to provide the services. In this case, government may not be able to fund the treatment fully and may offer it at a discounted cost. Which is by all mean fare as it does not put either the government or the individual under the pressure of bearing the whole cost of treatment. For example, Japan provides free medical facility to its citizen although the charges for the treatment of critical diseases are partially borne by the patients or individual at their own.
To conclude providing basic medical facility to its citizens free of cost is appreciable effort of any government and must be practiced throughout the world, even if it excludes the treatment where lot of cost is involved. It makes their people's life easy in either case by giving them relief from bearing the full cost for common illnesses and only a fraction of cost is supposed to be borne in case of critical disease.
Topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Healthcare is among one of the basic needs of humans; however, if it should be available completely free of cost in all the nation with the exception for advanced medical treatment which comes with a huge cost is a matter of discussion. In my opinion health care system should be available free of cost to everyone, because it helps people of all financial state to get the treatments for basic illness and for other advanced medical treatments government bodies run various subsidized scheme which may cover these expenses so the exception in the later is acceptable.
Being able to afford the medical treatment is one of the priority for human beings and a fear for a person who finds himself on the other side, which is not being able to afford the treatment for him or family. With the increase in the overall inflation rate, it has become very difficult for a person of poor financial status to afford the healthcare facilities. If governments can provide the basic medical facilities free of cost to its people, they will be able to live a healthy life and put their efforts for the growth and prosperity of the nation. For example, China, despite being one the largest populated country in the world provides free healthcare facility, in return every citizen serves the government and dedicates at least for five years of their life serving the nation.
At the same time, the treatment of the rare diseases, which involves lot of cost due to usage of latest technologies of medical science, may not be available with in the country for which government bodies’ tie-up with other countries to provide the services. In this case, government may not be able to fund the treatment fully and may offer it at a discounted cost. Which is by all mean fare as it does not put either the government or the individual under the pressure of bearing the whole cost of treatment. For example, Japan provides free medical facility to its citizen although the charges for the treatment of critical diseases are partially borne by the patients or individual at their own.
To conclude providing basic medical facility to its citizens free of cost is appreciable effort of any government and must be practiced throughout the world, even if it excludes the treatment where lot of cost is involved. It makes their people's life easy in either case by giving them relief from bearing the full cost for common illnesses and only a fraction of cost is supposed to be borne in case of critical disease.
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Not sure what do you want me to point out. I highlighted your sentence in red. You say burglary and drug trafficking are crimes which don't have any direct impact on society. And then you want to know what is the mistake. I really don't know how to explain beyond that. May be someone else here can help in that.
May be write another essay and we will see. I don't think I can review that essay beyond that line.
Essay.
At present, increased percentage of teenagers were were or are? What tense do you want to use? emotionally unhealthy compare compared to previous generations. It could be because of the massive development we have in various aspect we experience nowadays in contrast to a simple quiet life of the previous young adults. Grammar issues and poorly written sentences. Unfortunately, this is not the correct forum to fix these issues. This will take some work.
To further reiterate, Reiterate means saying it again. You just started your essay. Okay may be you are referring to your argument in introduction para. Fair enough but still looks a bit odd.
decades ago, teenagers aim aimed for simple life and not as yet materialistic. It was easier for the young adults to find employment even if not academically successful. Why and how?
The priority of the teenagers were simple, and that is to earn money to provide food for the family. It does did not matter what kind of employment they have or if have earn a degree or not. There were increased percentage of job opportunities available; How?
hence teenagers' mental health were not at risk. Furthermore, family ties were intact. There were no advance machineries at that time and family members took care of each other and help accomplish family chores. There were strong bonding amongst the family.
Too many grammatical errors.
In comparison to the recent generation, because of the improvement and development across the globe, people have higher expectations in life. Nowadays, society defines success as having luxurious life. Young adults finds find it challenging to catch up to societal standard. To add on more, in some countries, when a child reached 18 years old there are encouraged to live independently. The world is getting busy as well as the parents. Career-oriented parents, more often than not, have limited time to bond with their children, at times, not having meaningful time with them at all. Young adults were feeling alone and stressed in a variety of settings and situations, and there were no one to turn to. Moreover, majority of the companies hire candidates with sound educational background, in which, with the current generation some finds it difficult to attain due to the financial constraint.
Thought process is good.
To recapitulate, teenagers are highly stressed nowadays compare to young adults ages ago. In my own perspective, I strongly agree that teenagers of the present time are more emotionally distress and should spend increased time to improve mental health by meeting friends or involve self to any community activity that advocate for meaningful changes in the society.
In terms of content your essay has good content especially BP2. I get the line of reasoning in BP1 but it is very poorly written. The big issue is your grammar and you really need to work hard to improve on that aspect.
This is the first time I have seen an essay where task response is on point but the essay has been poorly written in terms of sentence structure and grammar. You would lose out points on your grammatical range. As I said earlier, sadly this is not the correct forum to fix grammar issues and I would suggest you really start working on it. All the best!
Your current skills level is under par for a 7 score in IELTS. You would need to work primarily on grammar and I would suggest start that by reviewing tenses and how different tenses are written in English. In your essays you have mixed up verbs in tenses quite a few times which tells me it was not some typo error but really an issue in terms of your grasp on those concepts.
All the best!
I did actually post the link here but the post was edited by ADMIN and the link was removed, in that Yu tube link Chris has done the video with the girl and asked her to reproduce the essay that she wrote in exam. You can find his channel on you tube and this video is there.
Dear @cansha this time, I have tried to include all your suggested points. Kindly give a review.
Question: shopping is one of the most popular form of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
These days, especially youngsters, find shopping as an appealing spare-time activity. In my viewpoint, it is effective development as it significantly contributes to the economic growth of a country through revenue generation and advertisement.
To embark with, in recent years, because of globalization, a vast variety of consumer goods such as flagship mobile phones, branded clothes and perfumes are available in the markets. This has increased the proportion of young people spending major portion of their time shopping. Since tax is included in the price of every product, the more people shop, the more is the government’s income. The fund then can be allocated to build infrastructures, such as roads and tourist resorts, to attract foreigners. As a result, additional money can be earned and make a nation financially and economically stronger.
Moreover, attractive discounts and seasonal offers in many outlets and shopping malls, especially during winter and summer holidays, entice young ones to purchase products. These not only assist companies finish their existing stock and add new products but also give an opportunity for people to save money on expensive items. For instance, last month I purchased Levis jeans worth 100 dollars at a 50 discount. I could never have purchased this product at its normal price. Thus, higher sales increases a company’s revenue and productivity which, in turn, raise the GDP of the country.
In conclusion, young adults spare their leisure time in shopping and, in my opinion, this has a positive impact on financial progress of country since it helps the government to generate revenue and increase the output by advertising campaigns.
Question: shopping is one of the most popular form of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
These days, especially youngsters, find shopping as an appealing spare-time activity. In my viewpoint, it is effective development as it significantly contributes to the economic growth of a country through revenue generation and advertisement.
To embark with, in recent years, because of globalization, a vast variety of consumer goods such as flagship mobile phones, branded clothes and perfumes are available in the markets. This has increased the proportion of young people spending major portion of their time shopping. Since tax is included in the price of every product, the more people shop, the more is the government’s income. The fund then can be allocated to build infrastructures, such as roads and tourist resorts, to attract foreigners. As a result, additional money can be earned and make a nation financially and economically stronger.
Moreover, attractive discounts and seasonal offers in many outlets and shopping malls, especially during winter and summer holidays, entice young ones to purchase products. These not only assist companies finish their existing stock and add new products but also give an opportunity for people to save money on expensive items. For instance, last month I purchased Levis jeans worth 100 dollars at a 50 discount. I could never have purchased this product at its normal price. Thus, higher sales increases a company’s revenue and productivity which, in turn, raise the GDP of the country.
In conclusion, young adults spare their leisure time in shopping and, in my opinion, this has a positive impact on financial progress of country since it helps the government to generate revenue and increase the output by advertising campaigns.
Let me review this by questioning a few things in your essay. I hope that helps to think about the essay flow and thought process.
Starting with essay topic .. Do you think this phrase has any value "most popular form of leisure activity". You have not made any reference to "leisure activity" beyond the paraphrase in introduction. Is that phrase important? Why couldn't they simply say "Young people are shopping more. Is it a positive or negative development?". Why make a reference to it being a leisure activity? Think!
These days, especially youngsters, find shopping as an appealing spare-time activity. In my viewpoint, it is effective Does effective mean positive? Do we not write in English positive effects and negative effects. So by saying effective is it obvious that it is positive?
development as it significantly contributes to the economic growth of a country through revenue generation and advertisement. What does it even mean "and advertisement". There is no reference to this in your essay beyond it.
So, I see you are following my advice of giving a glimpse of the essay in introduction. That is good. But, then your arguments need to make sense as well. Structure without content won't help. But good that you have structure in place.
Also, refer to my point 2.4 here https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485
Many a times this "good for economy" arguments are quite superficial and hollow. It is because this good for economy argument can be applied for any topic under the sun. Let me give examples
Topic - is education important? Answer: yes education is important. By educating our workforce they will become more skilled and that will help economy of the country.
Topic: Is sports important? Answer: Yes sports is very important. If more people take part in sports they will be healthy. healthy workforce will help our economy.
Topic: Is investment in infrastructure important? Answer: Yes it is very important. if we have good roads and highway it will trigger economic activity and it will help the economy of country.
Topic: Should government invest in national monuments? Answer: yes it is very important as if we preserve our national monument it will help with tourism and with more tourism the economy will prosper.
Do you see where am I going with this? I can probably use this economy argument in most essay topics in IELTS. Yes, you can use it but don't use it just for the sake of it because you didn't think deeply enough about the topic.
To embark with, in recent years, because of globalization, a vast variety of consumer goods such as flagship mobile phones, branded clothes and perfumes are available in the markets. This has increased the proportion of young people spending major portion of their time shopping. Since tax is included in the price of every product, the more people shop, the more is the government’s income. The fund then can be allocated to build infrastructures, such as roads and tourist resorts, to attract foreigners. As a result, additional money can be earned and make a nation financially and economically stronger.
Continuing with my earlier arguments. Your argument here is just because more things are available to buy younger population is shopping more in their "leisure time". Oh wait .. your forgot leisure time altogether. Okay lets forget about that for a second.
More stuff to buy -> More shopping .. Do you think this argument has causal relationship?
Moreover, attractive discounts and seasonal offers in many outlets and shopping malls, especially during winter and summer holidays, entice young ones to purchase products. These not only assist companies finish their existing stock and add new products but also give an opportunity for people to save money on expensive items. For instance, last month I purchased Levis jeans worth 100 dollars at a 50 discount. I could never have purchased this product at its normal price. Thus, higher sales increases a company’s revenue and productivity which, in turn, raise the GDP of the country. This is what I was talking about in my examples above.
In conclusion, young adults spare their leisure time in shopping In your whole essay you have used "leisure time" in introduction and conclusion. Have you addressed the topic at hand?
and, in my opinion, this has a positive impact on financial progress of country since it helps the government to generate revenue and increase the output by advertising campaigns.
My concluding remarks are the same as many times before. Please read the topic carefully and after writing your essay think if you have addressed the question.
Second point - Really think hard before bringing in economy as an argument for every topic. It is good to have that argument but if possible please don't use it as the only argument.
All the best!
Thanks a ton. I got your points. It is always logically good to think twice before using the economy IELTS topic.
Dear @cansha, did I made any improvement with TA? Or again it is off topic? I am getting confused with each essay. Don't know where I am lacking in writing.
Question: many people think that money to be important for achieving happiness. What importance does money have regarding happiness? Give answer with relevant examples.
Wealth is considered by many people to be one of the most important contributing factors towards happiness. I completely disagree and believe that it is possible for people to be happy even if they have little money and other aspects of life play a vital role in creating happiness.
To begin with, money does not necessarily bring happiness. One way that people gain happiness is through their work. For instance, a doctor doing volunteer work in under developed counties may have very little money but the reward of helping people and doing the job they are good at, brings happiness in itself. In other words, happiness can be found by using skills that people are trained for and through job satisfaction.
Furthermore, money is one of the component elements of happiness but not the most significant one. Factors such as having supportive and loving people in one’s life plays an important part of happiness. While money may bring the opportunities to enjoy pleasure, few people would enjoy them on their own. Being surrounded by a loving and caring family is considered by most people to be more valuable than any amount of money. Therefore, spending money on an experience, such as family vacation or outings with social circles provides more happiness than spending money on possession.
In conclusion, it is commonly believed that money is influencing factor contributing towards happiness, however, I personally think that money is not an essential part of happiness, it can be found through strong family connection and job satisfaction. People were happy before money was invented, so happiness can exist without it.
Question: many people think that money to be important for achieving happiness. What importance does money have regarding happiness? Give answer with relevant examples.
Wealth is considered by many people to be one of the most important contributing factors towards happiness. I completely disagree and believe that it is possible for people to be happy even if they have little money and other aspects of life play a vital role in creating happiness.
To begin with, money does not necessarily bring happiness. One way that people gain happiness is through their work. For instance, a doctor doing volunteer work in under developed counties may have very little money but the reward of helping people and doing the job they are good at, brings happiness in itself. In other words, happiness can be found by using skills that people are trained for and through job satisfaction.
Furthermore, money is one of the component elements of happiness but not the most significant one. Factors such as having supportive and loving people in one’s life plays an important part of happiness. While money may bring the opportunities to enjoy pleasure, few people would enjoy them on their own. Being surrounded by a loving and caring family is considered by most people to be more valuable than any amount of money. Therefore, spending money on an experience, such as family vacation or outings with social circles provides more happiness than spending money on possession.
In conclusion, it is commonly believed that money is influencing factor contributing towards happiness, however, I personally think that money is not an essential part of happiness, it can be found through strong family connection and job satisfaction. People were happy before money was invented, so happiness can exist without it.
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Dear @cansha
Question- Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
It is often claimed by some that women and men should have to be excluded from some careers by considering their strengths and weaknesses. In my opinion, people should be excluded from certain professions in order to attain work life balance in between families, and to hire the correct sex as per employment duties.
One good reason of having specific profession according to gender is that people can maintain perfect balance among families. This is because every home require equal involvement of male and female. If woman comes home early, she can take care of her children and prepare food for the family. Similarly, man can work for longer hours to earn more in order to financially support his family. For example, woman who works as a school teacher will have lesser number of working hours and she can get free early from work. In this way she can come home before her children coming back from the school. It will be hard in case of a woman working as a full time driver.
Another evident point to consider is that by excluding people as per their gender is considered beneficial for employers to hire the right candidate according to the requirement. Some careers require strong physical strength to accomplish certain tasks, such as, solders, military people, who have to deal with harsh environmental factors. In those scenarios, men will be more preferred as compared to women. Likewise, women are privileged to work in offices where they tend to perform job duties mostly by sitting on desks. For instance, majority of teachers and beauticians are women, often employers reject male candidates due to their sex.
To conclude, while people may have different opinion, it is best to divide professions according to gender to encourage professional life and personal life balance. This has obvious advantages for employers to recruit a person according to his or her physical strengths and weaknesses.
Question- Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
It is often claimed by some that women and men should have to be excluded from some careers by considering their strengths and weaknesses. In my opinion, people should be excluded from certain professions in order to attain work life balance in between families, and to hire the correct sex as per employment duties.
One good reason of having specific profession according to gender is that people can maintain perfect balance among families. This is because every home require equal involvement of male and female. If woman comes home early, she can take care of her children and prepare food for the family. Similarly, man can work for longer hours to earn more in order to financially support his family. For example, woman who works as a school teacher will have lesser number of working hours and she can get free early from work. In this way she can come home before her children coming back from the school. It will be hard in case of a woman working as a full time driver.
Another evident point to consider is that by excluding people as per their gender is considered beneficial for employers to hire the right candidate according to the requirement. Some careers require strong physical strength to accomplish certain tasks, such as, solders, military people, who have to deal with harsh environmental factors. In those scenarios, men will be more preferred as compared to women. Likewise, women are privileged to work in offices where they tend to perform job duties mostly by sitting on desks. For instance, majority of teachers and beauticians are women, often employers reject male candidates due to their sex.
To conclude, while people may have different opinion, it is best to divide professions according to gender to encourage professional life and personal life balance. This has obvious advantages for employers to recruit a person according to his or her physical strengths and weaknesses.
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Hello
I am Post graduate Pharmacist by qualification and working since last 16+ year in industry, i wish to move to canad for work in pharmaceutical company, looking forward for guidance on the same, for ILETS score do i need to proceed with visa and other requirements like job offer etc.
i will be thanful for guidance.
regards
vishal bansal
8171344575
I am Post graduate Pharmacist by qualification and working since last 16+ year in industry, i wish to move to canad for work in pharmaceutical company, looking forward for guidance on the same, for ILETS score do i need to proceed with visa and other requirements like job offer etc.
i will be thanful for guidance.
regards
vishal bansal
8171344575