IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
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Dear @cansha, please evaluate my essay. I am planning to reappear in December.
Question: some teachers and parents feel that controlling child behavior is good. Others feel that they should not be controlled. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Different schools of thought exist among people when it comes to controlling children’s behavior. While some believe that there should be strict control from mentors and guardians in children’s upbringing, while others are more lenient on the control. However, I partially agree with the notion that children need to be control but not in a strict way that they feel they miss their freedom.
On the one hand, many people think that it is very important for parents and teachers to taught a certain set of rules to children so that they are aware of what is good and what will be bad for them. Children do not have enough awareness to decide about the right and wrong and which rules will help them and which rule if not followed will get them in trouble. Thus, strict rules of behavior create responsible and respectful children who in turn mature into responsible adults. This forms a respectful society which is virtually free from negative trends such as drug abuse and prostitution.
On the other hand, there are others who think that forcing children to follow strict rules of behaviors does not always yield positive result as discussed above, most of the time it backfired and worked against society and families. For instance, teenagers are most likely to do the opposite of what they are told to do simply because they want to be independent. Children should also have rights to exercise their free will and developed their own patterns of behaviors. Therefore, imposing a strict rules may simply destroy the individuality of children.
To conclude, in my opinion, it is clear that children should be guided by rules and regulations, but these rules should not be imposed on them because as human beings, they need to have room to develops their own traits of character and adopt a behavioral pattern of their own.
Question: some teachers and parents feel that controlling child behavior is good. Others feel that they should not be controlled. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Different schools of thought exist among people when it comes to controlling children’s behavior. While some believe that there should be strict control from mentors and guardians in children’s upbringing, while others are more lenient on the control. However, I partially agree with the notion that children need to be control but not in a strict way that they feel they miss their freedom.
On the one hand, many people think that it is very important for parents and teachers to taught a certain set of rules to children so that they are aware of what is good and what will be bad for them. Children do not have enough awareness to decide about the right and wrong and which rules will help them and which rule if not followed will get them in trouble. Thus, strict rules of behavior create responsible and respectful children who in turn mature into responsible adults. This forms a respectful society which is virtually free from negative trends such as drug abuse and prostitution.
On the other hand, there are others who think that forcing children to follow strict rules of behaviors does not always yield positive result as discussed above, most of the time it backfired and worked against society and families. For instance, teenagers are most likely to do the opposite of what they are told to do simply because they want to be independent. Children should also have rights to exercise their free will and developed their own patterns of behaviors. Therefore, imposing a strict rules may simply destroy the individuality of children.
To conclude, in my opinion, it is clear that children should be guided by rules and regulations, but these rules should not be imposed on them because as human beings, they need to have room to develops their own traits of character and adopt a behavioral pattern of their own.
Kindly evaluate..thanks a ton
Question: some teachers and parents feel that controlling child behavior is good. Others feel that they should not be controlled. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Most of the educators and parents believes that the most efficient way in managing behaviours of the children were to limit their freedom. However, some have contrast views about confining and restricting children. In my perspective, I am agreeable to some to allow the children express themselves freely.
First and foremost, having restrictions would result for the children to increase the probability of them to display inappropriate behaviours and aggressions. Children may feel disheartened and withdrawn when they are not given a chance to explore or to make decision for themselves. It is advised by the health professionals to let the children be children, and that a child learns most through playing. Therefore, if parents would restrict and refrain the child, it will result in a reduce play skills and interactions with other peers. Furthermore, it will also affects the children's ability to display their emotions properly. Some may inappropriately express their emotions by hitting, screaming, and biting because of the lack emotional attachment with the adults. The child's aggression easily escalates when frustrated.
In contract, the children if given an opportunity to be part of the system and be involved in daily activities planning, it helps increases the chance of them to display positive behaviours and are more receptive in completing tasks. Children's social emotional skills were higher and majority listens to adult's instructions and complies better without adult's pressure. There were even studies conducted that children were more likely to progress and reach different milestones when they have chances or opportunities. Therefore, it is benefiting the children more when adults treat them equally and respect their individuality and rights.
To recapitulate, some agrees that children benefits most if they were controlled but others totally disagree. In my view, every child has the right to express themselves the same way as the adults. There are other ways to develop and nurture the character of the children. One of it is to implement house or school rules and explain consequences when not followed. Collaboration with between parents and educators on other positive discipline is an effective approach too.
Question: some teachers and parents feel that controlling child behavior is good. Others feel that they should not be controlled. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Most of the educators and parents believes that the most efficient way in managing behaviours of the children were to limit their freedom. However, some have contrast views about confining and restricting children. In my perspective, I am agreeable to some to allow the children express themselves freely.
First and foremost, having restrictions would result for the children to increase the probability of them to display inappropriate behaviours and aggressions. Children may feel disheartened and withdrawn when they are not given a chance to explore or to make decision for themselves. It is advised by the health professionals to let the children be children, and that a child learns most through playing. Therefore, if parents would restrict and refrain the child, it will result in a reduce play skills and interactions with other peers. Furthermore, it will also affects the children's ability to display their emotions properly. Some may inappropriately express their emotions by hitting, screaming, and biting because of the lack emotional attachment with the adults. The child's aggression easily escalates when frustrated.
In contract, the children if given an opportunity to be part of the system and be involved in daily activities planning, it helps increases the chance of them to display positive behaviours and are more receptive in completing tasks. Children's social emotional skills were higher and majority listens to adult's instructions and complies better without adult's pressure. There were even studies conducted that children were more likely to progress and reach different milestones when they have chances or opportunities. Therefore, it is benefiting the children more when adults treat them equally and respect their individuality and rights.
To recapitulate, some agrees that children benefits most if they were controlled but others totally disagree. In my view, every child has the right to express themselves the same way as the adults. There are other ways to develop and nurture the character of the children. One of it is to implement house or school rules and explain consequences when not followed. Collaboration with between parents and educators on other positive discipline is an effective approach too.
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im a doctor by profession My IELTS (General training) first attempt is: W R S L: 6.5,6,6,7.5 Overall: 6.5 . will i be eligible to immigrate to canada and opt any other job temporarily till i get the license from mcc to practice there? i have heard its good to score 7 7 7 8 for doctors... but is it mandatory in case of immigration...?will i be rejected due to this low ielts score alone? whats the minimum ielts score required to immigrate?please reply
In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.
Owing to advancement in the field of medical sciences and health awareness, the population, in general, lives longer than in the past. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this. Overall, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
One problem with longevity is the strain it puts on medical facilities due to the high proportion of the ageing population. For example, recent research by the University of London has revealed that there has been a considerable rise in the number of hospital visits by the senior citizens in developed countries due to age-related problems. This increases the pressure on the care facilities, which are already facing a crunch of manpower and resources. Another drawback of an increased life span can be a reduction in new jobs as fewer people will retire due to higher retirement age. For instance, In my country retirement age has been increased from 60 to 65 and as a result, twenty percent fewer jobs are advertised.
The main advantage of a longer life is that these people will be able to enjoy their post-retirement life. This is because people tend to work hard until the retirement age to fulfill self and family's material needs and retirement is the time that they can spend and enjoy with other members. For example, a survey by a British journal has revealed that post-retirement is the happiest time of a person's life after childhood. Furthermore, society can be benefited from their experience because they have host of accumulated experience and knowledge, which can be used for the betterment of individuals as well as society. For example, a doctor, who has many decades of experience treating people, often has more specialist knowledge of the diseases and cures and can guide juniors on this.
Overall, weighing up both sides of the argument, I would say that although increased age does have some downsides, particularly strain on healthcare, the fact that society can gain enormously from their experience outweigh the disadvantages.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.
Owing to advancement in the field of medical sciences and health awareness, the population, in general, lives longer than in the past. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this. Overall, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
One problem with longevity is the strain it puts on medical facilities due to the high proportion of the ageing population. For example, recent research by the University of London has revealed that there has been a considerable rise in the number of hospital visits by the senior citizens in developed countries due to age-related problems. This increases the pressure on the care facilities, which are already facing a crunch of manpower and resources. Another drawback of an increased life span can be a reduction in new jobs as fewer people will retire due to higher retirement age. For instance, In my country retirement age has been increased from 60 to 65 and as a result, twenty percent fewer jobs are advertised.
The main advantage of a longer life is that these people will be able to enjoy their post-retirement life. This is because people tend to work hard until the retirement age to fulfill self and family's material needs and retirement is the time that they can spend and enjoy with other members. For example, a survey by a British journal has revealed that post-retirement is the happiest time of a person's life after childhood. Furthermore, society can be benefited from their experience because they have host of accumulated experience and knowledge, which can be used for the betterment of individuals as well as society. For example, a doctor, who has many decades of experience treating people, often has more specialist knowledge of the diseases and cures and can guide juniors on this.
Overall, weighing up both sides of the argument, I would say that although increased age does have some downsides, particularly strain on healthcare, the fact that society can gain enormously from their experience outweigh the disadvantages.
You are eligible for express entry with this IELTS score. However, whether you will get ITA or not depends on your CRS score. One way to boost your CRS score is to secure an IELTS score of LRWS 8777 if you are a FSW out land applicant. Please check your CRS score using this link:
https://www.cic.gc.ca/english/immigrate/skilled/crs-tool.asp
Hi dear, disappointment would not solve your problem. I got 6 overall, two times, it doesn't mean that you will never achieve your target band.just give some more time. I am also having uncertainty about myself because I never checked my writing by someone else, also my speaking is full of mistakes. Just do little more efforts. Thanks good luck
@cansha
Some people think that uniform at school is unnecessary and should be banned.
To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.
================================================================================================
[INTRO]
It is often considered by some that uniform on school premises is useless and must be restricted. However, in my opinion, uniform brings about more positive outcomes and immensely beneficial in the overall development of the children.
[BP1]
To begin with, a uniform itself means uniformity among children, who are studying in the same school. Although teachers always taught students about the equality of all humans at schools, uniforms play an important role in order to maintain the equal identity of everyone at schools. These positive factors will eventually ends the differences among children about caste, and family status. Apparently, these statuses are the major factors which contributes to hate and unfair means of thinking in the tender minds of the children. For instance, those children who belongs to a famous celebrity or a strong politician are more likely to stay away from poor children, however, this situation is controlled when they have same clothing at schools. Hence, uniform plays a vital role in order to establish uniform thinking in between students.
[BP2]
Another evident reason of mandatory uniform at schools is to educate children about discipline. Nowadays, it is often observed that fashionable clothing, attractive jewelry, and expensive ornaments most of the time considered major distractions for school going individuals. Once children get influenced by such materialistic things, they will more likely to end up wasting time and money instead of concentrating in their corresponding syllabus. Therefore, uniforms are highly indispensable at schools in order to guide children to incorporate discipline in their lives. Furthermore, after learning about discipline children' personalities eventually excel well in the right direction towards success and learning.
[Con]
In conclusion, uniforms at schools not only provide positive environment but also create positive thinking among children without any discrimination. Therefore, uniforms should be made compulsory in each school because of the numerous advantages it brings to children and the society.
Some people think that uniform at school is unnecessary and should be banned.
To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.
================================================================================================
[INTRO]
It is often considered by some that uniform on school premises is useless and must be restricted. However, in my opinion, uniform brings about more positive outcomes and immensely beneficial in the overall development of the children.
[BP1]
To begin with, a uniform itself means uniformity among children, who are studying in the same school. Although teachers always taught students about the equality of all humans at schools, uniforms play an important role in order to maintain the equal identity of everyone at schools. These positive factors will eventually ends the differences among children about caste, and family status. Apparently, these statuses are the major factors which contributes to hate and unfair means of thinking in the tender minds of the children. For instance, those children who belongs to a famous celebrity or a strong politician are more likely to stay away from poor children, however, this situation is controlled when they have same clothing at schools. Hence, uniform plays a vital role in order to establish uniform thinking in between students.
[BP2]
Another evident reason of mandatory uniform at schools is to educate children about discipline. Nowadays, it is often observed that fashionable clothing, attractive jewelry, and expensive ornaments most of the time considered major distractions for school going individuals. Once children get influenced by such materialistic things, they will more likely to end up wasting time and money instead of concentrating in their corresponding syllabus. Therefore, uniforms are highly indispensable at schools in order to guide children to incorporate discipline in their lives. Furthermore, after learning about discipline children' personalities eventually excel well in the right direction towards success and learning.
[Con]
In conclusion, uniforms at schools not only provide positive environment but also create positive thinking among children without any discrimination. Therefore, uniforms should be made compulsory in each school because of the numerous advantages it brings to children and the society.
Lets do self evaluation: 
lol
Red= useless lines/ not required/ wrong word choice.
Green= corrections/ comments.
[INTRO- Correction]
It is often considered by some that uniform on school premises is useless and must be prohibited. In my opinion, I disagree that uniforms doesn't play any role. However, uniforms can create positive environment for every children, and to educate them about discipline.
[BP1- Correction]
To begin with, the word 'uniform' itself means uniformity, or in other words equality. Therefore, at schools uniform depicts equal status of everyone regardless of their family status, caste or religion. If these factors doesn't contribute hate and unfair thinking, this will eventually establish happier environment on school campuses. Majority of the students, for instance, unable to guess other students' background when they all are coming to school in similar clothing. Furthermore, when this type of environment is there in school buildings, pupil can excel well in studies rather than wasting their precious time in unnecessary differences.
[BP2- Correction]
Another evident benefit of mandatory uniform at schools is to educate children about discipline. Nowadays, it is often observed that fashionable clothing, attractive jewelry, and expensive ornaments are considered major distractions for school going individuals. Once children get influenced by such materialistic things, they will more likely to become undisciplined. This will hamper their grades and behavior, not only in schools but also at their homes. In order to motivate them about disciplined lifestyle - uniforms can play a vital role. For example, when children have to wear formal cloths everyday, they tend to perform regular duties such as ironing of cloths, polishing shoes, and be punctual. These activities motivate children to be disciplined, more responsible and independent.
[Conc- Correction]
In conclusion, uniforms at schools not only provide positive environment but also create positive thinking among children, to incorporate education without any discrimination. Therefore, uniforms should be made compulsory in schools because of the numerous advantages it brings to children and the society
[Comments]:
- Earlier it was totally in multiple directions.
- Sentence meanings were either incomplete or misleading.
- Syntax is fine (I guess)
- Now I can read it in one go. (If anyone wants to give suggestions, please share)
- Not sure why I am still complicating things. :|
lolRed= useless lines/ not required/ wrong word choice.
Green= corrections/ comments.
[Corrections]
[INTRO- Correction]
It is often considered by some that uniform on school premises is useless and must be prohibited. In my opinion, I disagree that uniforms doesn't play any role. However, uniforms can create positive environment for every children, and to educate them about discipline.
[BP1- Correction]
To begin with, the word 'uniform' itself means uniformity, or in other words equality. Therefore, at schools uniform depicts equal status of everyone regardless of their family status, caste or religion. If these factors doesn't contribute hate and unfair thinking, this will eventually establish happier environment on school campuses. Majority of the students, for instance, unable to guess other students' background when they all are coming to school in similar clothing. Furthermore, when this type of environment is there in school buildings, pupil can excel well in studies rather than wasting their precious time in unnecessary differences.
[BP2- Correction]
Another evident benefit of mandatory uniform at schools is to educate children about discipline. Nowadays, it is often observed that fashionable clothing, attractive jewelry, and expensive ornaments are considered major distractions for school going individuals. Once children get influenced by such materialistic things, they will more likely to become undisciplined. This will hamper their grades and behavior, not only in schools but also at their homes. In order to motivate them about disciplined lifestyle - uniforms can play a vital role. For example, when children have to wear formal cloths everyday, they tend to perform regular duties such as ironing of cloths, polishing shoes, and be punctual. These activities motivate children to be disciplined, more responsible and independent.
[Conc- Correction]
In conclusion, uniforms at schools not only provide positive environment but also create positive thinking among children, to incorporate education without any discrimination. Therefore, uniforms should be made compulsory in schools because of the numerous advantages it brings to children and the society
[Comments]:
- Earlier it was totally in multiple directions.
- Sentence meanings were either incomplete or misleading.
- Syntax is fine (I guess)
- Now I can read it in one go. (If anyone wants to give suggestions, please share)
- Not sure why I am still complicating things. :|
The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that deciding a job or a career in one of the most important decisions of anyone's life. It is believed that higher remuneration is the most significant factor in deciding a career, while I agree that salary is one of the crucial factors, it is not always the main consideration.
To begin with, it is a fact that money is one of the most important factors in deciding a profession as this can be used to purchase products and services, which can make one happy. For instance, if you have the money you can a beautiful home, or a car, or a holiday trip, or all of them. Furthermore, this is even more important at a time when money is given more importance than anything else in society. This can be exemplified by the fact that people, who are rich are often given more importance in society than more educated and distinguished members of the society.
Nevertheless, factors other than money, such as the nature of the job, the interest of the applicant, also play an equally important role. For instance, a highly qualified person from an upper middle class would prefer to do an office job than to work as miners even if the pay is considerably higher. Similarly, doctors or a musicians likely to work in their respective areas of interest rather than doing highly paid jobs, such as that of a investment banker or a stock broker. (high paid->interest) This is because they enjoy working in occupations or fields, which they like, otherwise they may become stressed and unsatisfied. Therefore, it is not always the case that first preference is always given to money in deciding an occupation.
In conclusion, a career decision in generally made considering a number of factors not just the salary. Despite the fact the money can help fetch many things which many bring joy, it is not always the decisive factor as other aspects, such as type of job and field of interest, also play a significant role.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that deciding a job or a career in one of the most important decisions of anyone's life. It is believed that higher remuneration is the most significant factor in deciding a career, while I agree that salary is one of the crucial factors, it is not always the main consideration.
To begin with, it is a fact that money is one of the most important factors in deciding a profession as this can be used to purchase products and services, which can make one happy. For instance, if you have the money you can a beautiful home, or a car, or a holiday trip, or all of them. Furthermore, this is even more important at a time when money is given more importance than anything else in society. This can be exemplified by the fact that people, who are rich are often given more importance in society than more educated and distinguished members of the society.
Nevertheless, factors other than money, such as the nature of the job, the interest of the applicant, also play an equally important role. For instance, a highly qualified person from an upper middle class would prefer to do an office job than to work as miners even if the pay is considerably higher. Similarly, doctors or a musicians likely to work in their respective areas of interest rather than doing highly paid jobs, such as that of a investment banker or a stock broker. (high paid->interest) This is because they enjoy working in occupations or fields, which they like, otherwise they may become stressed and unsatisfied. Therefore, it is not always the case that first preference is always given to money in deciding an occupation.
In conclusion, a career decision in generally made considering a number of factors not just the salary. Despite the fact the money can help fetch many things which many bring joy, it is not always the decisive factor as other aspects, such as type of job and field of interest, also play a significant role.