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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

velocityblood

Star Member
Jan 4, 2019
189
44
India
Category........
FSW
NOC Code......
2141
that does not make your position clear.

what makes your position clear.

intro : introduce correct topic, same thing with paraphasing - don't change the topic or digress
para : give idea, support it, explain it, conclude it. - don't contradict the idea - don't change the topic or digress
conclude the whole essay, same idea's, not new ones, - don't change the topic or digress

that is a picture of clear position. Ok bro





they were pre-booked, without waiting for the results. Ohh! Ok
 

SyedaBukhari

Member
Apr 28, 2019
13
2
Kindly evaluate my essay, is it worth of band 7? word limit 250+
Essay Topic:
Some people believe that residents are responsible for keeping the streets clean and tidy while some say that it is the responsibility of the government. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Maintaining hygienic environment in living and working place is necessary for healthy life style. Some people contend that residents should be accountable for keeping their area clean while others believe that it is responsibility of the state. I, however strongly believe that both citizens and government should do their part in keeping the neighbourhood clean.

One of the main reason of why residents should be responsible for cleaning is because they are the immediate effectors of the unhealthy and filthy environment. If they are unable to keep their surrounding clean, they would be affected at first place. For instance, if the epidemic of dengue outbreaks from hideous garbage, they are the one who would be affected first. Furthermore, it is easy for a resident to clean the street outside the home while mopping his house.

On the flip side, some people believe that it is responsibility of the government to clean the streets. They argue that people pay taxes and they expect some leverages from the government in return. It should hire more and more staff for this purpose. Additionally, elected union members should also be accountable for cleaning the area as this is their primary duty.

All things considered, while keeping in mind the famous saying “Cleanliness is Godliness” I firmly believe that inhabitants should be responsible for keeping the area and environment tidy because they are the one who are affected by the unhealthy environment the most. Nevertheless government should also take measures to keep the city clean.
 
Last edited:

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
Kindly evaluate my essay, is it worth of band 7? word limit 250+

Maintaining hygienic environment in living and working place is necessary for healthy life style. Some people contend that residents should be accountable for keeping their area clean while others believe that it is responsibility of the state. I, however strongly believe that both citizens and government should do their part in keeping the neighbourhood clean.

One of the main reason of why residents should be responsible for cleaning is because they are the immediate effectors of the unhealthy and filthy environment. If they are unable to keep their surrounding clean, they would be affected at first place. For instance, if the epidemic of dengue outbreaks from hideous garbage, they are the one who would be affected first. Furthermore, it is easy for a resident to clean the street outside the home while mopping his house.

On the flip side, some people believe that it is responsibility of the government to clean the streets. They argue that people pay taxes and they expect some leverages from the government in return. It should hire more and more staff for this purpose. Additionally, elected union members should also be accountable for cleaning the area as this is their primary duty.

All things considered, while keeping in mind the famous saying “Cleanliness is Godliness” I firmly believe that inhabitants should be responsible for keeping the area and environment tidy because they are the one who are affected by the unhealthy environment the most. Nevertheless government should also take measures to keep the city clean.
What is the essay topic?
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
Hi @H0peAndFa1th please check this essay, pics uploaded on the link.
first line, It is often <<
this essay
this essay

rest is good, I guess easy 7 bands, but again, check "The List" for missing things.
I was so tired of repeating same things that I had to write a post which I refer again and again but find the same errors again. I wonder what is the use of reviewing?

"This essay ... " point 1.4 in this post https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485

Consider the list in above post in addition to Hope's list.
 

tbamrah

Star Member
Feb 5, 2018
53
4
The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?



The sole remedy to curb the growing number of criminal activities among youngsters is that guardians should be tought about more effective upbringing skillset. This essay completely agrees with this statement as the parents create the base of moral culture in the youth and the latter always imitates the former while responding to various situations.


Parenting is considered as the architecture of morale in younger crowd. An under-aged person will always look up to his/her care-taker when it comes to basic rules of behaviour. For example, a recent study by Harward university suggested that more than 70 percent of criminals had a bad childhood, where they were either deprived of the love and affection or they were physically abused. This tells us that such circumstances while growing up have a negative psychological impact on the basic nature of kid.


People less than 18 years of age tends to follow the footsteps of their care-givers. Although schooling plays a vital role in the upbringing, majority of the time kids spend is with their mother/father, whom they copy and try to act like. According to a survey conducted in Orlando, nearly 80 percent of the younger beings claimed they would rather be like their fathers when they growup than any comic-book character.


In conclusion, the art of being a good parent is the deciding factor when it comes to public behavioural protocols among their youngsters. The budding generation not only inherits the basic moral ideas from their guardians but also follow their lead in day to day tasks.



TIA experts for taking out your precious time in evaluating essays :)
 

Hannan Khan

Star Member
Aug 25, 2010
189
38
123
Hope you guys are doing well @cansha @H0peAndFa1th @artificial.nocturne. Can you please help me with this one. Been lurking around on Jay @ E2's youtube channel lately.

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people only ate the local food produced by farmers.


To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Food from local as well as international producers is supplied to the local markets. It is believed that it would be beneficial for both environment and economy if only local food is consumed. Although some eatables cannot be produced locally, I fully agree with the idea of consuming native food to help the local habitat.


Food is imported from far away countries to provide the local populace the taste of foreign edibles. Some food cannot be produced locally due to various factors such as geographical and climatic suitability. For example, dates cannot produced in a number of western countries because of their cold climate so the only option is to import them from Middle East and South Asia. On the pretext of demand, a number of food items which include both rare and non-rare eatables are imported from around the world for local population.


However, the scarcity of a few food items does not warrant the import of tonnes of foreign food. The import of foreign fruits and vegetables along with other packaged items dents the local economy and environment. Numerous families associated with the local agriculture and food industry are dependent on their produce. If people buy imported food, these families will struggle to meet both ends. Furthermore, the decrease in trees due to consumption of imported fruits will result in environmental disruption. Plants consume the hazardous carbon dioxide and emit oxygen gas to make air breathable. Therefore, the decrease in plants due the downfall of industry will result in environmental issues.


In conclusion, food arrives from around the world to satisfy the needs of local purchasers. Although some food items cannot be produced locally, I think the people should live without foreign food to support local economy and environment.
 
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artificial.nocturne

Hero Member
Jan 25, 2018
714
238
Pre-Assessed..
Yes
Hope you guys are doing well @cansha @H0peAndFa1th @artificial.nocturne. Can you please help me with this one. Been lurking around on Jay @ E2's youtube channel lately.

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people only ate the local food produced by farmers.


To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Food from local as well as international producers is supplied to the local markets. It is believed that it would be beneficial for both environment and economy if only local food is consumed. Although some eatables cannot be produced locally, I fully agree with the idea of consuming native food to help the local habitat.


Food is imported from far away countries to provide the local populace the taste of foreign edibles. Some food cannot be produced locally due to various factors such as geographical and climatic suitability. For example, dates cannot produced in a number of western countries because of their cold climate so the only option is to import them from Middle East and South Asia. On the pretext of demand, a number of food items which include both rare and non-rare eatables are imported from around the world for local population.


However, the scarcity of a few food items does not warrant the import of tonnes of foreign food. The import of foreign fruits and vegetables along with other packaged items dents the local economy and environment. Numerous families associated with the local agriculture and food industry are dependent on their produce. If people buy imported food, these families will struggle to meet both ends. Furthermore, the decrease in trees due to consumption of imported fruits will result in environmental disruption. Plants consume the hazardous carbon dioxide and emit oxygen gas to make air breathable. Therefore, the decrease in plants due the downfall of industry will result in environmental issues.


In conclusion, food arrives from around the world to satisfy the needs of local purchasers. Although some food items cannot be produced locally, I think the people should live without foreign food to support local economy and environment.
Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people only ate the local food produced by farmers.

Food is one of the most important part of our lives. It is often moved between nations keeping the local marketplace full of variety and foreign delicacies. Some are of the opinion that only local food should be consumed as that will have a more positive impact on the environment and economy. Although it is true that some eatables can't be made locally, nonetheless, I agree that consuming native food can help the local habitat.

Food from local as well as international producers is supplied to the local markets. It is believed that it would be beneficial for both environment and economy if only local food is consumed. Although some eatables cannot be produced locally, I fully agree with the idea of consuming native food to help the local habitat.

Many countries import foreign food items for various reasons. One of the main reasons is because of the consumer's demand for that particular product. As such an item cannot be produced locally due to geographical and climatic suitability, users hence opt for imported goods. For example, dates cannot produced in a number of western countries because of their cold climate so the only option is to import them from Middle East and South Asia.

Food is imported from far away countries to provide the local populace the taste of foreign edibles. Some food cannot be produced locally due to various factors such as geographical and climatic suitability. For example, dates cannot produced in a number of western countries because of their cold climate so the only option is to import them from Middle East and South Asia. On the pretext of demand, a number of food items which include both rare and non-rare eatables are imported from around the world for local population.

On the other hand, the scarcity of a few food items does not warrant the import of tonnes of foreign food. The import of foreign fruits and vegetables along with other packaged items dents the local economy and harms the environment. Numerous families associated with the local agriculture and food industry are dependent on their produce. If people buy imported food, these families will struggle to make both ends meet. Furthermore, the decrease in trees due to consumption of imported fruits will result in environmental disruption. Plants consume the hazardous carbon dioxide and emit oxygen gas to make air breathable. Therefore, the decrease in plants due the downfall of industry will result in environmental issues. (Another thing is that you could also talk about the emission of air pollutants mainly carbon dioxide that happens when transport services like cars or trucks or planes are used for the import and export of such products, this also negatively impacts the environment as long distances are covered to move the product from one place to another).

However, the scarcity of a few food items does not warrant the import of tonnes of foreign food. The import of foreign fruits and vegetables along with other packaged items dents the local economy and environment. Numerous families associated with the local agriculture and food industry are dependent on their produce. If people buy imported food, these families will struggle to meet both ends. Furthermore, the decrease in trees due to consumption of imported fruits will result in environmental disruption. Plants consume the hazardous carbon dioxide and emit oxygen gas to make air breathable. Therefore, the decrease in plants due the downfall of industry will result in environmental issues.

In conclusion, although the availability of some food products is highly dependent on foreign imports, the consumers can still make an effort to support their country's economy by buying a substitute of that product from their local market or even only buy locally produced food items.

In conclusion, food arrives from around the world to satisfy the needs of local purchasers. Although some food items cannot be produced locally, I think the people should live without foreign food to support local economy and environment
 
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Hannan Khan

Star Member
Aug 25, 2010
189
38
123
Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people only ate the local food produced by farmers.

Food is one of the most important part of our lives. It is often moved between nations keeping the local marketplace full of variety and foreign delicacies. Some are of the opinion that only local food should be consumed as that will have a more positive impact on the environment and economy. Although it is true that some eatables can't be made locally, nonetheless, I agree that consuming native food can help the local habitat.

Food from local as well as international producers is supplied to the local markets. It is believed that it would be beneficial for both environment and economy if only local food is consumed. Although some eatables cannot be produced locally, I fully agree with the idea of consuming native food to help the local habitat.

Many countries import foreign food items for various reasons. One of the main reasons is because of the consumer's demand for that particular product. As such an item cannot be produced locally due to geographical and climatic suitability, users hence opt for imported goods. For example, dates cannot produced in a number of western countries because of their cold climate so the only option is to import them from Middle East and South Asia.

Food is imported from far away countries to provide the local populace the taste of foreign edibles. Some food cannot be produced locally due to various factors such as geographical and climatic suitability. For example, dates cannot produced in a number of western countries because of their cold climate so the only option is to import them from Middle East and South Asia. On the pretext of demand, a number of food items which include both rare and non-rare eatables are imported from around the world for local population.

On the other hand, the scarcity of a few food items does not warrant the import of tonnes of foreign food. The import of foreign fruits and vegetables along with other packaged items dents the local economy and harms the environment. Numerous families associated with the local agriculture and food industry are dependent on their produce. If people buy imported food, these families will struggle to make both ends meet. Furthermore, the decrease in trees due to consumption of imported fruits will result in environmental disruption. Plants consume the hazardous carbon dioxide and emit oxygen gas to make air breathable. Therefore, the decrease in plants due the downfall of industry will result in environmental issues. (Another thing is that you could also talk about the emission of air pollutants mainly carbon dioxide that happens when transport services like cars or trucks or planes are used for the import and export of such products, this also negatively impacts the environment as long distances are covered to move the product from one place to another).

However, the scarcity of a few food items does not warrant the import of tonnes of foreign food. The import of foreign fruits and vegetables along with other packaged items dents the local economy and environment. Numerous families associated with the local agriculture and food industry are dependent on their produce. If people buy imported food, these families will struggle to meet both ends. Furthermore, the decrease in trees due to consumption of imported fruits will result in environmental disruption. Plants consume the hazardous carbon dioxide and emit oxygen gas to make air breathable. Therefore, the decrease in plants due the downfall of industry will result in environmental issues.

In conclusion, although the availability of some food products is highly dependent on foreign imports, the consumers can still make an effort to support their country's economy by buying a substitute of that product from their local market or even only buy locally produced food items.

In conclusion, food arrives from around the world to satisfy the needs of local purchasers. Although some food items cannot be produced locally, I think the people should live without foreign food to support local economy and environment
Thank you for the feedback. I see that you have paraphrased my content in a better way. Do you think the mistakes were grave enough to hinder my write-up from fetching a 7?
 

akh136

Star Member
Apr 18, 2019
116
34
Hi guys

Please share your reviews
@artificial.nocturne @H0peAndFa1th @cansha and all others :)


Write about the following topic :
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion.

There are two popular schools of thought when it comes to educating children. One believes that it is best to educate children at home while the other , and the more popular one, believes that education should be imparted at schools. This essay will discuss the positives of both and will also conclude which one is better.

It is no secret that children begin their learning at home. Many people argue that this should be continued instead of sending them to school. Teaching at home allows children to set their own pace and results in lesser expenses for parents. Children also get time to explore a lot of other activities apart from studies if they are being taught at home.

School education, on the other hand, is the more popular method and majority of parents choose this for their children. School exposes children to real world and also allows them to be taught by experts who have gathered expertise in their particular fields. In spite of being expensive and more stressful , school education results in better returns as it follows a set structure and prepares children to face a variety of challenges.

In conclusion, I would state that in spite of having some flaws in terms of time and cost, school education is a better bet when compared to home education. In fact, it becomes even more effective if used in conjunction with some teaching at home. Parents should devote a portion of their time to review the progress and problems of the child . They should visit the school often to ensure that their child is on right track and should spend some time teaching them softer aspects of life, such as values and morals at home.[/
@artificial.nocturne here pls
 

akh136

Star Member
Apr 18, 2019
116
34
Hi guys, I have a question. The words with dash in between, are they considered as two words or one word ?

For instance, if I write say, new-town , is a single word or counted as two words ?
 
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Rashidali

Star Member
Oct 3, 2018
82
3
Please evaluate my essay

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the existing health care system due to the in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To extent do you agree or disagree?

It is beyond dispute that there is a significant amount of rise in obese people due to junk food and sedentary lifestyle which is a serious concern by many. It is often thought that an ideal solution to reduce this problem is to have more sports activity and exercise in schools. I complete agree with the idea that in order to stay fit and healthy physical activity is the key.


Firstly, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problem can be solved by long term approach and introducing more sports and health activities in schools. This solution will help children to have healthy life and change the way of thinking towards fitness. In order to indulge such activities, schools ought to have sports as a curriculum so that children take part in. For instance, in India, most of the schools have outdoor session for students which is mandatory to attend. And, by doing this, children can combat the deteriorating lift style and help them to become fitter and more active.

Another point to consider is that having more sports lesson in school will sharpen children interest to have healthy life which probably result in developing interest in other family members. For example, parents often involve with their kids in sports to encourage them and which results into an inevitable part of their daily lives. Therefore, it is undeniable that this method is a natural and long-lasting way to ease the burden of the public health care system.

In conclusion, to deal with the increasing unhealthy issues with people, changing life style by introducing physical education in school is the most effect method and vital to have fitter lift style in the longer run.
 

tbamrah

Star Member
Feb 5, 2018
53
4
Please evaluate this essay

Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle the problem?




A portion of school-goers prefer playing video games than actual outdoor games. The main cause of such mentality is that they feel powerful because they can do activities which are otherwise impossible and the most viable solution for such a problem is an awareness campaign designed to educate them in this matter.



Principal cause associated with such phenomenon is the ability for them to perform fictitously unachievable tasks which provides them with a level of satisfaction that they desire in the real world but are unable to get. This results in them spending more and more time in the virtual world playing the role of some prodigy with super-human abilities trying to save the world. In a recent survey by the Digit magazine, it was found that more than 60 percent of educating children spend their free time playing online games rather than performing physical activities outside.



To tackle this problem, the government should launch a program to teach kids and their parents about the harmful effects of the virtual games. This could shed some light on the ill-effects of such lifestyle keeping in mind to put the physical games in the lime-light. 2019 study by the WHO illustrated the diseases associated with spending a large amount of time in front of a screen by the kids, migrane and depression were taking the lead in that liist. Such a campaigning program would encourage people to give actual physically challenging games a preference.



In conclusion, prefering the digital games over tradition sporting activities among school kids is an issue which is caused mainly by the lucrative prizes and sense of self-satisfaction achieved after a successful mission completion in the digital world. However, it can be addressed through educating people about the dangers that this culture brings.