How do people do it?

[beholder69]

So the time has come... Tomorrow me and my wife are flying to Regina, me via the IEC working holidays program and my wife is Canadian. We were adamant on our choice, seems like Greece is going from bad to worse, had and have hopes for the best. But when the time of goodbye came, I broke down. Don't know if it's case specific, since I'm leaving my dearest mother all alone here with no friends, nobody at all actually or if it would be the same regardless but it's too hard.

How are people who have immigrated dealing with not seeing their loved ones for a long time? Do you feel better after a while, have plans to go back home etc? I came very close to actually canceling everything but know I'll regret it if I do so.

 

[Raina29]

It is indeed very hard to leave your close ones behind and make this move... though life is forward looking. Once you are settled in Regina and have a job, you can always invite your mom to stay with you on a tourist visa and later on you can sponsor her. It is a difficult choice but make her your motivation to succeed in life.. so that you can bring her with you later on. All the best for your new life in Canada. Hope all goes well.

 

[Eowyn]

I'm Canadian, but I immigrated to the UK nine years ago to be with my husband. Thankfully, we are now in the process of going back to Canada. In all honesty, it is VERY difficult. I was homesick for years. Part of me still is. I love my husband dearly and I don't regret my decision to move, but being away from my family and the friends I have known since I was a child has been tough. The only way I was able to adjust was to throw myself into my new life. I got a job, bought a little car that gave me so much freedom, and started (slowly) to develop new friendships. Find a really good long distance plan and speak to your mother as much as you can. I found that really helped. We also visit each other several time a year. It does get easier, but it's an adjustment. Like Raina29 said, if your mother is up for it, you could possibly sponsor her to live in Canada sometime down the line. Just try to stay positive and understand that it will take time to find your way.

 

[beholder69]

Thanks for the replies, both very good posts 8)

I'll try to make it as smooth as possible for both of us, the truth is that moving was not a matter of survival, we might not be rich here but have a home to stay, two apartments that we rent to other families (don't imagine anything wild, rents here are very low), but hoping to be able to offer more to both my wife and possibly kids in the future and my mother is the main reason. She raised me all by herself under extremely difficult circumstances and I know I wouldn't be able to at least provide her with a good old age if I stayed here. A single medical issue, even a relatively minor one could make you spend savings of 10+ years if you want to actually take care of it ASAP privately instead of risking your life with the public health personnel and facilities.

I think of all this and know it's a risk that's worth to take no matter what the outcome will be but still, it's very hard, thanks again for your input, this really helped.

 

[steaky]

I do not agree with Raina29 one had to wait until being settled and have a job in order to invite their relative to come to Canada to visit them. After a few months since moving here in BC neither fully settled (we were still waiting for personal belongings from China) nor having a job, I invited my mother in law from China to visit us and she got a single entry visiting visa. Before my mother in law arrival, I guess my wife was in similar situation as yours.

Like Eowyn said, just try to stay positive and understand that it will take time to find your way.

 

[Raina29]

Hi Steaky,

My response was on the practical side not knowing the financial status of the person and why i said once he is settled (meaning having a job to meet the current expenses). No offense to be taken. Of course, that would indeed be great to have his mom with him on visitor visa wheneven he wishes to...

 

[beholder69]

Thanks guys, I do get your points. Don't know how or when it will be done but it's good to feel there are ways to make this easier. Already feeling better, currently waiting at Toronto airport for my flight to Regina ;D

 

[Eowyn]

Wishing you the best of luck. You know you can always come here and discuss issues you are having. We are all in various states of the same thing you are going through, so we can certainly relate and share our experiences.

 

[beholder69]

Wishing you the best of luck. You know you can always come here and discuss issues you are having. We are all in various states of the same thing you are going through, so we can certainly relate and share our experiences.

Thanks Eowyn

 

[ErickNL]

I bought my mom a camera for the computer so we could skype. It really is a lot better when you can see each other. I've never had trouble with homesickness and travelling though. My worst experiences are with family members getting sick and/or passing away, I dread those moments. Do you go back, do you stay, etc.

 

[karykuan]

it's really a touching topic, all my families are so far away from me and I always question my sense of belonging. I found keeping yourself occupied and around the clock busy might help eaze the loneliness/emptiness.

 

[Leon]

I tried to skype with my parents but they are not very computer literate and the connection was often bad so in the end I phone them once a week and they tell me about their week and I tell them about mine. I probably talk to my parents more than some of my siblings who live in the same town. However, if you are the only child, you may feel guilty that you are not there in person to help your mother when she needs it. You have to weigh this against a possibly better life for yourself and your spouse/children in Canada.

If you are working in Canada, you don't get long vacations like in Europe but you can bring your mother to visit you. If she is visa exempt, it will not be a problem for her to stay up to 6 months but you need to make sure she has travel insurance in case of an emergency. Eventually if she is interested, you may be able to sponsor her for PR.

 

[messenger]

So the time has come... Tomorrow me and my wife are flying to Regina, me via the IEC working holidays program and my wife is Canadian. We were adamant on our choice, seems like Greece is going from bad to worse, had and have hopes for the best. But when the time of goodbye came, I broke down. Don't know if it's case specific, since I'm leaving my dearest mother all alone here with no friends, nobody at all actually or if it would be the same regardless but it's too hard.

How are people who have immigrated dealing with not seeing their loved ones for a long time? Do you feel better after a while, have plans to go back home etc? I came very close to actually canceling everything but know I'll regret it if I do so.

Dear friend and co-patriot

I know how this feels. I said goodbyes so many times in my life! And every time is the same and it gets worse! Another time for me is coming up soon as soon as my wife's approval's are done and this time again I would not know how to deal with it!
I would not know how to say goodbye to all the people that I have been with for so many years.
At least for those of you that are younger and immigrating now you are a bit luckier than us the older ones.
Now we have so many things in our disposal to take the home sickness away. Internet, skype, FB mail
At those years communications were limited to Postal mail and once i a while by telephoning!
So gather up your courage, stay strong and supportive, its ok if you cry a little (crying never hurts)

All my best και καλο ταξιδι!

messenger

 

[beholder69]

I tried to skype with my parents but they are not very computer literate and the connection was often bad so in the end I phone them once a week and they tell me about their week and I tell them about mine. I probably talk to my parents more than some of my siblings who live in the same town. However, if you are the only child, you may feel guilty that you are not there in person to help your mother when she needs it. You have to weigh this against a possibly better life for yourself and your spouse/children in Canada.

If you are working in Canada, you don't get long vacations like in Europe but you can bring your mother to visit you. If she is visa exempt, it will not be a problem for her to stay up to 6 months but you need to make sure she has travel insurance in case of an emergency. Eventually if she is interested, you may be able to sponsor her for PR.

That's true Leon, the guilt part I mean. What makes it a bit easier is that at least she is still working, which takes up a good amount of her time and is in good health, so I hope to be able to offer more to her as well when she retires. Now I don't know if she will be interested in becoming a PR after that or not but at the same time I can't say for sure I'll still be in Canada then. Up to now it's going great though, found a spacious apartment in a very good area, found a job and was offered 3 more after that, offers that will be now be considered for my wife. All this thanks to some quick acquaintances that we made here and in just 6 days!

And well, at least in Saskatchewan the minimum time for vacation is 3 weeks instead of 2, that's certainly nice ;D

 

[beholder69]

it's really a touching topic, all my families are so far away from me and I always question my sense of belonging. I found keeping yourself occupied and around the clock busy might help eaze the loneliness/emptiness.

That's true, thanks 8)