BILL GATES HAMPERED BY ‘CANADIAN EXPERIENCE’ (The truth about Canadian immigration – my apologies – had to place this! Not true about old Bill please....)
A little bit of Canadian history everyone missed: 6 Months ago old Bill Gates (yes – ‘the’ Bill) decided to ‘take things slower’ and go for the simple life in rural Canada.
So with his strong CV as chairman and co-founder of Microsoft, he applied for a software support role with a small IT company in Gander, Newfoundland, Canada. Excited to mix with ‘common folk’ and be ‘just part of a small community’ he waited for a swift reply.
Confident that his CV will easily pull him through and still excitingly looking forward to the ‘simple’ life, he phoned after not hearing from the HR agency for 6 weeks to check in on the position.
The lady (‘Samantha’) at ‘HR Global International Limited’, a wholly owned subsidiary of ‘WE ARE HR International’, assured him that they did receive his ‘who-are-you-again-and-what –date-did-you-apply-and-to-whom-did-you-send-your-CV’ and that they will come back to him ‘soonest’.
With that she hastily put the phone down and continued painting her nails while watching ‘Honey-Boo-Boo’ online.
Another few weeks went by and old Bill again came down a level and phoned again. This time he spoke to Tracy as ‘Samantha’ is ‘no longer with us and God knows where that woman has gone to’, who repeated again the list of questions. ‘No’ – she has never heard of Bill Gates. “Microsoft” – is that the ‘program-thingy’ that gives you FACEBOOK?
So going through the names she finally excitingly told him that Tony, her Boss, who has a Doctorate in HR at some famous university from one of the top 100 Universities ‘in the World’ (all in Canada, amazingly), has picked a list of 16 CV’s (there were 1 349 applicants) but that there was no ‘Bill’ on the list.
So Bill left Tony a message. Finally out of total boredom Tony gave Bill a call a week later and half angrily agreed to interview him for the role. ‘Does he have SKYPE’? Bill had Skype.
And there it was: Yes he had an impressive CV and yes its ‘amazing’ the whole Microsoft thing and all that, but the only ‘Canadian Experience’ on his CV was flipping hamburgers in Montreal way back in the early 70ths. And his only reference for that job ‘died of old age’ in 1998. ‘No can do’ without ‘Canadian Experience’ – all the other applicants considered for the position was ‘better suited’ with a better ‘match of skills’ for the job.
So old Bill just stayed on a few more years and ‘Tim’, who previously worked as a sound engineer in a nightclub in Toronto, duly and most deservingly was appointed in Gander. So life goes on in Canada, where 3 million highly ‘Skilled’ immigrants are most enjoyingly driving cabs, flipping hamburgers and cleaning streets!
Just a tongue in the cheek warning for wanna-be immigrants! I ‘m leaving this circus.
Daniel Baard
