DEPRESSION SETTING IN - HELP - INDIAN - SENIORS - HELPPPPP!!!

[ht711]

Hi Guys!

I landed in Canada, went back to India then came back and then went back to India in last 6 months, just stayed for 3 months in Canada in total. I am in my late 30s. I have family. I don't know what to say or how to say, I was never so weak mentally, but this Canada thing changed my whole life, right now i am writing from sitting in India but i am getting an urge to go back to Canada again, but i am not able to answer to myself that why, or what for i want to go to Canada. I got the job, i started earning 1500 or so in a month but sitting at sharing-rental home at night, missing family, feeling weak that what the hell i am doing here, no one to talk to, the more i talk to people at work, especially from my home country, i get confuse, 100 people i talk to 100 different suggestions they give. Yes there are $ i mean whatever i will earn will be in CAD ($) but i don't know why i am not able to stick to this place and able to give myself time. I know in my field i cant get job as there are very less jobs (please dont ask my profession) but i came with a mindset that i will start with anything and will see what i can do or if i need to upgrade, i will do and if nothing works out at least i will save some by doing jobs but you don't have anybody to talk to, nobody has time. People help but what to say everybody is one way or another not happy (% wise) this is because everybody has his or her own experience. some have sold everything in their home country and they don't have any reason to go back so they are sticking. People are happy too. How to get over my this part. It was my dream from my early days to go abroad US/Canada but at last i got this opportunity, i am not liking it (dont know what to say). I don't understand where to start, should i go to Toronto, Alberta (Edmonton/Calgary), BC or where. Thinking of going to Toronto this time but just getting thoughts of going nothing is sure...will i be able to get survival jobs easily in Toronto please some serious guidance from seniors....

Please, will appreciate.

 

[david1697]

You should move to US. If you are from India you will do well in US. because there is a huge Indian community here and 99 out of 100 Indians I ever met in US are either doctors or IT specialists. I have not met a poor, jobless or depressed Indian in US yet.
In fact Indians are the best adapting immigrants in US, far ahead of Chinese and all other Asians and immigrants from any other part of the world.

 

[aashay12]

Take a deep breadth, don't over think too much.
I felt the same when I left India and came to US
The only difference is I came to US when I was 19
I felt home sick, I was in my golden age....so I could adapt easily
I never made any indian friends, hung out with foreigners and Americans
Give yourself some time, immerse in the culture....talk to people
Avoid talking to Indians, they will start with their own bad days and this will make
U feel miserable talk to people from other communities, it mite give u different approach.
I came to canada last month, lived with a Canadian for 15 days.....
U will miss home badly but relax, u have Skype....u r not lost in the woods....
Don't over think and screw up, take one day at a time......
Enjoy the place while u can....how u can grow.....and make it a home...
About coming to US, don't come if u don't have a job....visas are hard to get especially h1b or L-1
I am here for 13 years and still stuck in the processs....so work with what u have rather than jumping to US.
US is only for people who have green cards, or else it's slavery to an desi employer till u get gc... it's all a wait time....till u get it....I am in my early 30s....so don't feel it much.....but you are late 30s so think and make a decision......
Even today india is not bad place to work and live.....I would go back in a heartbeat if I get a good opportunity
Gone are the days when America or western countries were great for jobs or exclusive for the chosen few....
Everyone one comes to US now......not a biggie.....from India.....
Don't run after things what u don't have.....like coming to US.....
Since u have a family, there is no trial and error method.....
Good luck...

 

[blueshirt]

This is life man. Dont be so negative. Are you married or single?
If single make gf and then wife and built your own family here and see the change in life with wife and kids. Earn for them and live for them and keep in touch with your parents on phone and invite them to canada show them around the beauty of this part of world. Go to niagra fall, cn tower, ripleys acquarium, ontario place, wonderland, blue mountain etc. You can also sponser your parents for PR

 

[shootingstar]

Hello friend
First of all congrats on becoming a permanent resident!

We all question our decisions sometimes. Think of the positives in your life. I think it is greatyou landed a job. Not many people manage that.
US/Canada are very different from India in terms of culture. Ad aashay has suggested make friends from all different countries. You will see the difference in perspective. Also keep in mind that the winter time is very depressing in North America. I noticed that you said you have a family then why not bring them to Canada? Stick to your decision and stay positive. Utilize all the new immigrant facilities available to you.

P.s.: I completely agree with aashay that US is great if you have a green card and lots of money. The standard of living is going low over the past few years.there are many other issues as well. Not all are doctors as david mentioned - many are illegals too.

 

[ht711]

This is life man. Dont be so negative. Are you married or single?
If single make gf and then wife and built your own family here and see the change in life with wife and kids. Earn for them and live for them and keep in touch with your parents on phone and invite them to canada show them around the beauty of this part of world. Go to niagra fall, cn tower, ripleys acquarium, ontario place, wonderland, blue mountain etc. You can also sponser your parents for PR

I am married.

 

[ht711]

Thanks everybody, thanks a lot. I got the survival job as i landed in Oil rich province's Capital and there are jobs just go personally and apply, not online, but thanks a lot.

 

[jazibkg]

This is life man. Dont be so negative. Are you married or single?
If single make gf and then wife

Hahahahha. This made me chuckle!!! Make gf then wife to solve a personal existential crisis? Lol.

 

[david1697]

Hahahahha. This made me chuckle!!! Make gf then wife to solve a personal existential crisis? Lol.

Said in simple words it does sound funny

But anyone familiar with stuies of long term effects of stress on human body will tell you that single people have higher rate of death from various diseases (including coronary), and married people ,in general, live longer, it's due to better physical and mental condition and less negative impact from lives hardships.

 

[jazibkg]

Said in simple words it does sound funny

But anyone familiar with stuies of long term effects of stress on human body will tell you that single people have higher rate of death from various diseases (including coronary), and married people ,in general, live longer, it's due to better physical and mental condition and less negative impact from lives hardships.

I know, but still, the guy said make gf like we're talking about baking a cake and put an icing on it or something. Falling headlong into a relationship is also an advice I would never give to someone who is going through such a phase, its easy to make mistakes and choose fallback options in such a state of mind.

If only it was this easy to 'make gf then wife'...I'd debate the mental condition aspect of it as many marriages can be dysfunctional and mentally detrimental, but we'd digress from this post.

 

[buliwyf]

[quote author=ht711]
I am married.
[/quote]

I was gonna say "make short-term gf's and never get married," but since you're married already, please take the guy's first advice:

[quote author=blueshirt]
This is life man.
[/quote]

Then you can join all of us in complaining about expensive daycare afterwards 8)

 

[david1697]

I know, but still, the guy said make gf like we're talking about baking a cake and put an icing on it or something. Falling headlong into a relationship is also an advice I would never give to someone who is going through such a phase, its easy to make mistakes and choose fallback options in such a state of mind.

If only it was this easy to 'make gf then wife'...I'd debate the mental condition aspect of it as many marriages can be dysfunctional and mentally detrimental, but we'd digress from this post.

True, it was said in simple-minded way. You hear lots of much worse things on a daily basis, but served to you on a more sophisticated platter they probably don't solicit any chuckles from you.

You may want to pick up any popular magazine off the shelf as you wait for check out at the supermarket counter.
See what kind of advises they give people. I saw one where (I am serious) women were advised to sompare the size of their "assets" to an open magazine, and if two matched then they had a high chnce of being picked up at the bar. It also had more advise as to how to make sure the guy doesn't turn into a one night stand. All that presented in a "sophisticated" magazine for "educated" masses somehow doesn't elicit the same reaction as above, and I sometimes genuinely wonder why

As to second part, I am merely telling what the studies had demonstrated. My emotional or personal perception is not relevant there, as I simply site the well known and studied facts. So, whether I like it , agree with it or disagree, the fact is married people in general live longer lives and have less mental and physical issues.

To OP: I still suggest you come to US. As I said earlier, I haven't seen an Indian who failed in US. Half teh silicon valley firms are established by Indians. Even ebay and google have Indian who works somewhere at the top, if not an CEO.
With so many Indian people doing so well, I am sure your depression will be a foregone thing if you come to US.
If I was Indian I would never consider leaving US for Canada. I would probably be a law professor at Harward by now

 

[jazibkg]

Surrey, British Columbia has probably a 40-50% indian population also, and they all seem to be doing quite well for themselves. How exactly do you reckon the OP will get into the US? Its the most difficult country to legally migrate to.

And yes, those magazine advice elicit the same response from me (probably more of a horror stare than a laugh though).

My point was, that advice was very irrelevant here and also a very long, difficult and arduous process for an individual to achieve, especially if they're in a new country.

 

[david1697]

I don't know how, but I have yet to meet an Indian in US who is illegal. All are either Citizens/PR or, at very least, temporary workers on a skilled work visa. There are a lot of illegal immigrats in US, but I have not seen such among Indians yet.

 

[aashay12]

Hehe...illegal....I was for few months till I came back to Canada and got the visa to come back to US.
There are about 400,000 illegal indians in US. More and more keep coming everyday...
It a multimillion dollar business for getting people from India to US.
My friend paid $60K to get his wife to US....now they own a gas station...
Most of the people,from India come to US to make money and don't necessarily want to be
Part of the culture, they keep themselves away from integrating with locals ....probably it's trust issues...
There is a wave of immigrants which come and most educated people have stopped going to Western countries...due to lack of jobs or hard visa issues....India is the place to be for next 20-30 years and will keep growing....The quality of immigrant which people are coming in US has sunken to the lowest point..and will keep sinking.....
I live in the US because I love the US, I love the way it respects women, gay population, minorities and there are bunch of bozos to keep denouncing those rights to people...By far Americans are good people.....and these politicians are trying to mess with a wonderful nation......