Because some days we can use a laugh and a distraction even if only temporary

[MadeInCanada]

 

[gosia]

lol, we need this for sure.

Ever since I discovered this page, i just cannot get enough, can you imagine i have been in canada since 2008 and didn't know about this page?

It is very helpful

 

[PRCR]

Thanks MadeInCanada

 

[ready_fi_move_on]

A boy and his father (new immigrants in Canada), were visiting a shopping centre. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father:
"What is this, Dad?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded: "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful and atractive 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father shouts to his son: "GO GET YOUR MOTHER!!!"

 

[Maddants]

A boy and his father (new immigrants in Canada), were visiting a shopping centre. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father:
"What is this, Dad?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded: "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful and atractive 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father shouts to his son: "GO GET YOUR MOTHER!!!"

this joke is nice....i love it..lol

 

[gosia]

A boy and his father (new immigrants in Canada), were visiting a shopping centre. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father:
"What is this, Dad?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded: "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful and atractive 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father shouts to his son: "GO GET YOUR MOTHER!!!"

lol

 

[muffy1]

Haha! I've favorited this thread! Love it

 

[MadeInCanada]

 

[MadeInCanada]

page in the top right corner says"the ground is lava" LOL

 

[ready_fi_move_on]

It was my first time ever

And I'll never forget

I'd do it again

Without a single regret.

The sky was dark
The moon was high

We were all alone

Just she and I..

Her hair was soft

Her eyes were blue

I knew just what

She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft

Her legs so fine

I ran my fingers

Down her spine.

I didn't know how

But I tried my best

I started by placing

My hands on her breast.

I remember my fear

My fast beating heart

But slowly she spread

Her legs apart.

And when I did it
I felt no shame

All at once

The white stuff came.

At last it's finished

It's all over now

My first time ever

At milking a cow . . .

 

[ready_fi_move_on]

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this
letter slowly because I know you can't read fast.

We are all doing very well. You won't recognize the house when you
get home - we have moved.

Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20
miles from your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last family
that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they
wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine; I'm not
sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load in and pulled
the chain and haven't seen them since.

Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him.
He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if
it's a boy or a girl so I don't know if you are an auntie or an uncle.

Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a few
months and already he has been made a court martial.
Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the
Brewery. Some workmates tried to save him but he fought them off
bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the
fire.

I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his
bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The
doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten
minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for
three days and then for four days.

Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.

We had a letter from the under-taker. He said if the last payment on
your Grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it
would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut
them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried
because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was
driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the
tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Your loving Mum


P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the
envelope.

 

[sweetwine]

It was my first time ever

And I'll never forget

I'd do it again

Without a single regret.

The sky was dark
The moon was high

We were all alone

Just she and I..

Her hair was soft

Her eyes were blue

I knew just what

She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft

Her legs so fine

I ran my fingers

Down her spine.

I didn't know how

But I tried my best

I started by placing

My hands on her breast.

I remember my fear

My fast beating heart

But slowly she spread

Her legs apart.

And when I did it
I felt no shame

All at once

The white stuff came.

At last it's finished

It's all over now

My first time ever

At milking a cow . . .

 

[sweetwine]

Lol! Very funny!

 

[gosia]

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this
letter slowly because I know you can't read fast.

We are all doing very well. You won't recognize the house when you
get home - we have moved.

Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20
miles from your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last family
that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they
wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine; I'm not
sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load in and pulled
the chain and haven't seen them since.

Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him.
He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if
it's a boy or a girl so I don't know if you are an auntie or an uncle.

Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a few
months and already he has been made a court martial.
Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the
Brewery. Some workmates tried to save him but he fought them off
bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the
fire.

I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his
bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The
doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten
minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for
three days and then for four days.

Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.

We had a letter from the under-taker. He said if the last payment on
your Grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it
would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut
them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried
because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was
driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the
tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Your loving Mum


P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the
envelope.

lol

 

[Hello121]

young girl: Mr. Obama, my dad says you are spying on us.

Obama: He's not your dad.