A strain on your relationship?

[bonitanita]

I'm not, but that's because my savings run out in January. Life is going to get really sucky after that.

I just can't be so joyous and festive when I am so down in the dumps about everything else. I just want to hide and wake up when it's all over.

The money thing sucks too. I have to buy him presents with his own damn money. Argh!

 

[AnaMaria]

My savings will be completely down to zero this month. I have been trying to find a job since June (I had a post graduate work permit) but nothing. My BF is in debt and ridiculously (at least to my standard). Basically I have been supporting our joint household spending from my saving until now. We are closely looking at our budget but his bills alone are higher than he brings and this does not include grocery. He is taking side jobs, working basically day and night everyday.

We have argued over money for so many times and sometimes he threatened me to cancel the sponsorship. It has crossed my mind for so many times that I should break up with such a man who emotionally threatens me. But then I thought how it is like to live without him. He brought a light to my life. I love him more than anything in my life (as much as I love my babies, my 16-year-old cats).

We discussed and argued a lot and I believe we love each other a lot more, and our relationship is tighter. I don't know how to survive in this financial situation and I am sure we will have more arguments over money. But I made the right decision to be with him.

I did some odd job like cleaning. I could not have done that without his support. Finding a job in lower mainland, BC, sucks !

 

[lunas]

sometimes he threatened me to cancel the sponsorship.

What?
Reevaluate and love yourself please!

 

[AnaMaria]

What?
Reevaluate and love yourself please!

I certainly have and seriously.

 

[amikety]

I certainly have and seriously.

*hugs* I understand :'(

 

[bonitanita]

My savings will be completely down to zero this month. I have been trying to find a job since June (I had a post graduate work permit) but nothing. My BF is in debt and ridiculously (at least to my standard). Basically I have been supporting our joint household spending from my saving until now. We are closely looking at our budget but his bills alone are higher than he brings and this does not include grocery. He is taking side jobs, working basically day and night everyday.

We have argued over money for so many times and sometimes he threatened me to cancel the sponsorship. It has crossed my mind for so many times that I should break up with such a man who emotionally threatens me. But then I thought how it is like to live without him. He brought a light to my life. I love him more than anything in my life (as much as I love my babies, my 16-year-old cats).

We discussed and argued a lot and I believe we love each other a lot more, and our relationship is tighter. I don't know how to survive in this financial situation and I am sure we will have more arguments over money. But I made the right decision to be with him.

I did some odd job like cleaning. I could not have done that without his support. Finding a job in lower mainland, BC, sucks !

Money is one of the main cause for divorces. It's normal to argue over it but in a situation like this, it's just 10 times worse. Sometimes, I have threatened to leave and go back to England myself because well let's face it, this situation takes it's toll and emotions tend to travel on stranger frequencies than normal.

My boyfriend was in debt but thankfully, we've sorted that out. Now he is working again, he needs to rebuild his credit. I have always been very careful with money but he hasn't and I am worried that it will make it hard for us to get a mortgage one day.

At the end of the day, we all know one thing... if we can get through this process and make it out safe and sound on the other side, there is nothing that is going to tear us apart from our loved ones. This is a big hurdle and the other side will be a brighter, happier place.

 

[bo12]

I am 32 too. I've spent the last 9 years of my life travelling, exploring, working abroad here and there and haven't chosen to grow up. All of my friends have cornered at least one aspect of their lives whether it be a mortgage, a baby or a career. Me on the other hand, sitting here without any money in my boyfriend's parents house and have no idea what I'll even do for a job when I am allowed to get one.

SUCKS. The uncertainty and the lack of room for decision making makes this very hard.

You're not alone my friend.

I really admire your experience of travelling around the world. That's what I want to do when I have enough money. It is hard to get a job and I really like to study. I like being on the campus. It makes feel I am young and I have nothing to worry about. After graudation, I got a good job with good payment. I saved some money. Now I am living with my parents since MY husband is in Canada. I really hate life being like this. It’s my life and how could it be out of my control. After getting married, I think psychologically I grew up. Sometimes I still want to go back to school, a place where you have nothing to worry about. It is pure. I am quite independent and I don’t want to rely on anyone. I always make plans for my future. My life was in order until the immigration thing came up. I really want this could come to an end soon.

 

[R151NG5UN]

Money is one of the main cause for divorces. It's normal to argue over it but in a situation like this, it's just 10 times worse. Sometimes, I have threatened to leave and go back to England myself because well let's face it, this situation takes it's toll and emotions tend to travel on stranger frequencies than normal.

My boyfriend was in debt but thankfully, we've sorted that out. Now he is working again, he needs to rebuild his credit. I have always been very careful with money but he hasn't and I am worried that it will make it hard for us to get a mortgage one day.

At the end of the day, we all know one thing... if we can get through this process and make it out safe and sound on the other side, there is nothing that is going to tear us apart from our loved ones. This is a big hurdle and the other side will be a brighter, happier place.

I hear that. This whole process has cost thousands and it just seems to drag and drag and drag. MY wife has so many debts from going through University and well my savings have taken an epic hit whilst I am left in limbo. It is so frustrating, I just want to work and have my life back again, I miss it so much!!

 

[AnaMaria]

My boyfriend was in debt but thankfully, we've sorted that out. Now he is working again, he needs to rebuild his credit. I have always been very careful with money but he hasn't and I am worried that it will make it hard for us to get a mortgage one day.

The way we approach our money here in Canada is very different from that of my culture. I felt so mad that the bank approved his mortgage. Yes, the bad credit score affects mortgage approval and more importantly the rate. But if you know what to do, you can improve the credit score.

At the end of the day, we all know one thing... if we can get through this process and make it out safe and sound on the other side, there is nothing that is going to tear us apart from our loved ones. This is a big hurdle and the other side will be a brighter, happier place.

This is so true. Stay positive

 

[amikety]

Money is one of the main cause for divorces. It's normal to argue over it but in a situation like this, it's just 10 times worse. Sometimes, I have threatened to leave and go back to England myself because well let's face it, this situation takes it's toll and emotions tend to travel on stranger frequencies than normal.

My boyfriend was in debt but thankfully, we've sorted that out. Now he is working again, he needs to rebuild his credit. I have always been very careful with money but he hasn't and I am worried that it will make it hard for us to get a mortgage one day.

At the end of the day, we all know one thing... if we can get through this process and make it out safe and sound on the other side, there is nothing that is going to tear us apart from our loved ones. This is a big hurdle and the other side will be a brighter, happier place.

I second that! My poor husband had the idea if he could afford payments, he could afford whatever he wanted, no matter the interest rates........sigh.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

It hasn't been a strain on our relationship. The process is out of our control. It has been a strain on me emotionally and financially. While I understand it does take time to get a visa I see anything taking more than 6 months on a straight forward spousal application with no dependents to be excessive.
My wife worries about the strain on me and she feels guilty that she can't do more to help.

 

[bonitanita]

Wow, that sounds horrible! 2 years! Crazy! Sounds like you guys are strong though...

If you can make it through this process, there really is not much else that is going to bring you down afterwards. That's the only positive side to the waiting game.

 

[vinlander]

For many that process gives a true meaning to the "for the better or worse" because it involves sacrifice and to put aside "ego"...
We have gone through a lot since 2009 and the PR process was just one of the things...
I kept repeating her since we met: there is light at the end; we have finally reached that light...together!
If your love is genuine it will survive all...

 

[lunas]

For many that process gives a true meaning to the "for the better or worse" because it involves sacrifice and to put aside "ego"...
We have gone through a lot since 2009 and the PR process was just one of the things...
I kept repeating her since we met: there is light at the end; we have finally reached that light...together!
If your love is genuine it will survive all...

Yay to that!

 

[fall247]

It is just not the financial part of this that is so draining but the overall process of putting the package together, endless worries about whether or not enough was done and sent in, and of course whether or not the final day will come that PR is obtained. As a sponsor, it is hard keeping up a front but I have noticed that we do best when I support him and his feelings maintaining my understanding of how helpless he feels not being able to do anything for us, while we wait. I know that if he goes home and works and we start this process over from the outside we will both be completely miserable. To me it is a miracle that two people so similar have met and fell in love from such a distance. We all need to be commended for this.