Sponsor wife wants to divorce.

[SenoritaBella]

You have been very gracious so far, answering with respect eventhough you have not received much in return. Not everyone is capable of that and I think that provides some insight as to your personality in real life. Kudos for you and keep your head up. I don't know details of your relationship but I sympathize - no one should have to go through that. By the way, I don't think you owe anyone an explanation.

Well, where I have worked for 12 years, once October is finished, we already started preparing the YEAR END for reporting and accounting purposes, so, yes, October 30 is already "by end of the year" for me. And this I have learned with the guys from US and Canada I worked with.

And one more thing, why don't you learn how to act in a respectful way with other people? Does your wife sleep with jeans every night?

 

[annabruce]

1) a violent woman who
2) puts a knife to a man's throat and threatens to kill him and
3) it all comes to a boil just a few days after the new immigrant receives his PR

Based on my life experience, 1) is very easy to believe. 2) Much more likely than you might want to believe. There are lots of very unstable women in this world. 3) Why not? For the first time, he suddenly feels a little power in this country when before he had is PR he was a visitor without any rights. For the first time, he has just enough power to stand up for himself.

 

[tuyen]

Based on my life experience, 1) is very easy to believe. 2) Much more likely than you might want to believe. There are lots of very unstable women in this world. 3) Why not? For the first time, he suddenly feels a little power in this country when before he had is PR he was a visitor without any rights.

While each of those points mentioned - individually - might POSSIBLY happen, the odds of ALL THREE happening at the SAME TIME? Infinitesimal.

As I said earlier: if you (or anyone else) wants to completely suspend disbelief, you guys can be my guest.

 

[shells]

*******************************************************************************

Hi shells: "We talk at least once to twice a week on the phone nowadays (and selfishly saying, I actually love her more than I love my dad)". You just wrote my mind. Thank you shell.

You are welcome . I'm glad we both feel the same about our mums
These are the rare cases where, "someone who hits us is actually doing good for us"

 

[shells]

You have been very gracious so far, answering with respect eventhough you have not received much in return. Not everyone is capable of that and I think that provides some insight as to your personality in real life. Kudos for you and keep your head up. I don't know details of your relationship but I sympathize - no one should have to go through that. By the way, I don't think you owe anyone an explanation.

Fully agreed.
There's no need to put yourself down the level where some people are. It's a waste of time.

 

[annabruce]

While each of those points mentioned - individually - might POSSIBLY happen, the odds of ALL THREE happening at the SAME TIME? Infinitesimal.

As I said earlier: if you (or anyone else) wants to completely suspend disbelief, you guys can be my guest.

I had a woman threaten me with a baseball bat when I finally found the nerve to get angry and stand up to her bad behavior. Baseball bat? Knife? What diffference does it make? A key point is: "when I found the nerve." I am sure once this guy got his PR, for the first time, he realized he wasn't as powerless anymore. So, he stood up for himself, and was confronted with the knife.

I repeat: There are lots and lots of violent and disturbed women. Stop fooling yourself!!

 

[Tipha]

I have lived in the same house with her since I arrived in Canada, and I had "swallowed" many things while living with her, and everybody knows this is something we do when we love somebody.

Maybe you remember in my post i asked you if you didnt know that your wife had those problems even before you married and that i said if you are in love you sometimes think love could set it right or help the person you love....yet you answered she wasnt like that prior to the marriage....now you say you "swallowed" many things. But that was pretty much what i tried to point at. I think like so many that get treated that way, try to close their eyes before it, trying to think it will get better or it isnt so bad or just have no way out at the moment, as was your problem too, as just a "visitor". I understand all that very well! But you werent honest right away, or you confuse people with your story as you see. I myself cant tell if all is true or not, and im not in the position to judge really, you need to have 2 sides of a story or been involved as a friend or family member in this story to know what is going on. But if this is true....then as i said before, you made a tough decision to marry this woman. While everyone deserves love, no one deserves beating though, if she didnt get better by your support already prior to the marriage, at least by a bit, you should have left, i guess though you couldnt anymore by then, leaving all behind in your country and being just a "visitor". I know this is easier said then done. But im the type of person, if my husband would ever raise a hand against me or if i see he has an uncontrolled temper, i would be gone, i would have family helping me buy the next ticket "home", if i had no other way out!!! Theres no second chance. If it happens once, it happens again. The signs were there, already the way she behaved to her kid says a lot. I wish you luck for your next relationship and that you make the right choices.

Anyway i think no one can really judge if its true or not. He wanted info on his special case, thats it, he got that info long time ago. Its up to everyone if they tell their story here and sometimes its even needed to get the proper info. We can discuss this story yes, but please dont have to go overboard with mean comments, respect should always be there!

 

[Kiwi12]

Hi Tipha,

There really wasn't any reason for this person to tell everybody here about what was going on inside that home, whether it was fact or fiction. He isn't coming to this forum to ask for the name of a good divorce lawyer and he certainly isn't coming on here to ask for the name of a good counsellor or agency to get his wife help and he definitely didn't come to this forum to ask which child protective agency he could contact because he was concerned for the child's safety that he lived in the home with for well over a year. He asked if he could lose his PR because his wife was threatening to report him for fraud (after she tried to kill him). If somebody on the forum was mean to him it was because of his dramatic story telling that was completely unnecessary. It would have been much easier for him just to say can my wife have my PR removed because the relationship just wasn't working out. I have lived with her since May of 2011, got my PR in late 2012, I stuck it out for as long as I could but just couldn't live in the same home with her any longer. Now she is posing a whole lot of threats of reporting me for fraud because she is pissed at me. Everybody knows relationships break down. The drama is ridiculous. If somebody states an opinion that is less than nice then so be it, it is an opinion. I could say the same for the many people that fall for the poor me story and then try to work as abuse counsellors.

 

[Tipha]

Hi Tipha,

There really wasn't any reason for this person to tell everybody here about what was going on inside that home, whether it was fact or fiction. He isn't coming to this forum to ask for the name of a good divorce lawyer and he certainly isn't coming on here to ask for the name of a good counsellor or agency to get his wife help and he definitely didn't come to this forum to ask which child protective agency he could contact because he was concerned for the child's safety that he lived in the home with for well over a year. He asked if he could lose his PR because his wife was threatening to report him for fraud (after she tried to kill him). If somebody on the forum was mean to him it was because of his dramatic story telling that was completely unnecessary. It would have been much easier for him just to say can my wife have my PR removed because the relationship just wasn't working out. I have lived with her since May of 2011, got my PR in late 2012, I stuck it out for as long as I could but just couldn't live in the same home with her any longer. Now she is posing a whole lot of threats of reporting me for fraud because she is pissed at me. Everybody knows relationships break down. The drama is ridiculous. If somebody states an opinion that is less than nice then so be it, it is an opinion. I could say the same for the many people that fall for the poor me story and then try to work as abuse counsellors.

yes you can say your opinion, as i said you can discuss too, but dont have to get disrespectful or mean. And yes there can be reasons to want to explain a story here! to ask about PR is totally normal here too, since the forum discusses mainly immigration topics and often it happens people also talk about their stories (and quiet some talk a lot about private stuff here), some like to keep things private, some are totally or pretty open. You wouldnt have done it, ok, but doesnt mean hes that way, he told his story. Point. Up to you and others to believe it or not, and as said you can discuss it, ask him, tell him what you think etc since he put it out there...but no sorry by no means people have to go overboard with disrespectful comments. If you think you are in the position to have the right to judge, you need to know the story and not just assume things and bash the person, you need to first know if you even right in what you assume. Theres is no falling for the "poor me story" either. And i said IF its true, then....