planning civil marriage without parents. red flag?

[perring]

My girlfriend (Canadian citizen) and I (US citizen) are planning a civil marriage at the County Clerk Office/Court in California with close friends but our parents will not be there. After that, we would apply for immigration. We plan to have the "real" wedding or traditional ceremony with family and close friends at later date when we are settled in Vancouver.

I was going through the applications and saw on form 5285E with regards to question #7.

>>>"Were there formal ceremonies to recognize/celebrate your relationship, e.g., engagement ceremony, traditional/customary marriage ceremony, commitment ceremony, partnership ceremony, reception, etc? YES or NO?

My question: Is the civil ceremony considered a formal ceremony? If YES, I would of course attach photographs and other requested info of the civil ceremony.

>>>Then it asked whether the parents from both side attended. The answer would be NO and I need to explain. I would simply state that we plan to have the "real" wedding ceremony at later date.

My question: Would this raise a red flag?

I have emails, phone call log, photographs, etc. to prove that our marriage is genuine. We've known each other for more than 3 years.

Again, thank you for your help!

 

[smart_saqib143]

sorry friend,

but the fact is yes they will put red flags because in every culture parents and relatives presence and public presence is important and you should get married in your home town between your relatives if your marraige is true this way it should be i had 5 years relationship thousands of emails thousands of chat logs a lots of love letters gift exchanges thousands of money transfferes nothing bother them and my marraige was between my relatives and my parents and my relatives were witness to it and it was celebreated in my home town i still got refused because of age i guess my wife is older than me, so i will advise you not to give chance to visa officer which will tend them to refuse your application.

 

[AMB]

There is no solid way of knowing what will and will not raise red flags. That's why it's important to be as thorough as possible in answering the questions and providing proof.

I personally don't think it would raise a red flag- just include an explanation of why they weren't there on a sheet of paper, and tell of the plans to have a bigger wedding at a later date (explain why you didn't do that in the first place... money, time constraints etc etc). If you have concrete plans for this bigger wedding, give some details. Don't explain the bigger, more traditional wedding as the "real" wedding, since that implies that you don't see the civil ceremony as real. "Letters of explanation" are completely helpful and legit when it comes to Canadian CPC officers.

If you have lots of other evidence, I wouldn't worry at all.

My husband's parents weren't at our wedding, and we just explained why. No problem.

If your parents weren't there, but are totally aware of your relationship, have them write statutory declarations saying they know of your relationship for X amount of years, it's the real deal etc. That might help put all "red flags" aside.

 

[perring]

Thank you everyone for you help. AMB, that really cleared up my question about the parents. I really appreciate your help.

What about the other question? Is "civil marriage" considered "formal ceremony"? Should I answer yes or no?

 

[boujasim]

no this wouldnt raise a red flag
THOUSANDS of applicants got married without the knowledge of their parents or even without a wedding and still they got thru very swiftly.

cic doesnt care if ur family knows or not, plus you should be 100% honest,u shudnt lie or change any fact or even give out promises ur not up to, simply state things as they are.

red flags are raisen when for example ur 20 years old and ur sponsor is 47 and her children are ur age, u met her online,chatted for a while and then all of a sudden decided to marry, a true relation is easy to see.

an IO will judge based on whats normal and whats not in the region it serves,for example internet relations in the arab countries are not considerd real relations, i cant possibly marry a person i met online, or if lets say a lebanese muslim, married an israeli-canadian...
in the US millions get married without the knowledge or approval of the parents,u shudnt worry.

 

[smart_saqib143]

i agree with you boujasim

 

[AMB]

Yes, a civil marriage is a formal ceremony. Don't play it down- tonnes of people getting married that way and the result is the same no matter if you get married at the courthouse or get married in a huge church with hundreds of guests.

I agree with what the others said- just be honest and give lots of proof of your relationship.

Also, pay attention to the last part of the sponsorship questionnaire that says something about include "details that you believe would help to prove your relationship is genuine and continuing": this sets you apart from the hundreds of other applications. Tell your story, tell the history, why you are married, how your lives are connected and what plans you have for the future. Lots of people overlook that one, because there's no "line" to fill in the "answer". Attach a narrative.

 

[MARLENA]

Look at it this way.
If I have a civil marriage without the presence of my parents but later have a formal ceremony with my spouse family and not mine since they live in Lebanon. I mean that should be considered as genuine relationship otherwise you wouldn't go with the formal ceremony. I don't agree how they can prove the marriage is genuine or not. They should consider another mechanism like to take the lie detector test.

 

[frolic]

We had a civil marriage, and only her family was there. Of course my family would have found it expensive and hard to travel 8000km just for a few days of celebrating before we left on our honeymoon. We explained that for that question of course. We were approved very quickly in the end.

CIC will get suspicious if you do things that are not normal or reasonable. Is your wedding going to look like a celebration with friends there and a reception and pictures? Just like many other weddings in your neighborhood? Then nothing to worry about.

Also...you are not having the "real" wedding ceremony later...you are having "another" one for family to include them.

 

[Rasha]

Perring,

Everyone's situation is unique and there is no fill in the blank here....the bottom line is EVEN if you are younger or older than your spouse, EVEN if you met online, EVEN if you have a wedding and NO ONE comes.....the bottom line is you need to prove in your own way, with as much as you can, that you have a valid and legitimate relationship.

As a few others have said, be descriptive, tell your story. Explain to the I/O how you met, how your relationship flourished, and how you have decided to create a life together. Above everything, be honest, and be frank. And include as many glimpses into this life as you can.....

They are not looking for some cookbook answer, but rather the details of the two of you. Traditional and culturally correct are not always the answer for some couples - we are all individuals.....as such we each have our own unique ways....how we live our lives and define our relationships are equally individual. What is important here, is that you relay your story to the best of your ability, and you substantiate it in every way possible, with all means possible.

Good Luck