Love or Opportunity? Coffee Social

[Nevaeha]

She's Filipina. Their culture and behaviour is really Latin. She even had a baby from another guy last year. But I guess he didn't stick around and she needs money so her job is a professional annoyer. She's never worked, ever.

He leaves his Facebook public and we know she checks on it.. it's kind of funny because sometimes he will post random photos of us together and she will go off her rocker thinking I'm in the Philippines. My inlaws actually took us to a witch doctor far in the jungle to remove a curse from us once. It was totally bizarre. Last week he posted a pic of his visa to Facebook and she is going insane. She's demanding a raise, of double her money because he will be going to Canada. Please if you know any Canadian men you don't like I can hook them up. I found her profile online at cherryblossoms.com posing in her undies.. hee hee. Looking for a man *any age*

 

[nanediniz]

She's Filipina. Their culture and behaviour is really Latin. She even had a baby from another guy last year. But I guess he didn't stick around and she needs money so her job is a professional annoyer. She's never worked, ever.

He leaves his Facebook public and we know she checks on it.. it's kind of funny because sometimes he will post random photos of us together and she will go off her rocker thinking I'm in the Philippines. My inlaws actually took us to a witch doctor far in the jungle to remove a curse from us once. It was totally bizarre. Last week he posted a pic of his visa to Facebook and she is going insane. She's demanding a raise, of double her money because he will be going to Canada. Please if you know any Canadian men you don't like I can hook them up. I found her profile online at cherryblossoms.com posing in her undies.. hee hee. Looking for a man *any age*

Oh wow! I'll keep that in mind but so far the only Canadian I know belongs to me! lol.
My hubby's ex is always demanding raise also. She says if he can afford all the travelling, he can afford to pay more child support as if he has to explain to her what he does with his earnings :
She got insane the moment I blocked her on my Facebook, she even called my husband demanding an explanation! What can I say? She didn't want to be friends with me so... I don't want her going through my private life.
This witchcraft thing you're telling me sounds really bizarre :-\, but I would not worry about it too much if i were you, what goes around comes around. Focus in your life with your husband (I know it's hard with someone bothering you all the time...).
I like to think she is gonna stop bothering us when she realizes there is nothing she can do to interfere in our happiness, so being happy is what I am going to do! ;D

 

[Steph C]

Yeah you should have seen this guy. There was this whole family of them, a weird cult with tattoed spots on their foreheads. The witch doctor himself was a kind of high priest who invented his own religion and he was dressed in all white and lots of witch doctor bling. He had a thing that waves incense around like the Catholics do. Then they sacrificed a live goat. But actually that was just their dinner. haha.

 

[nanediniz]

Oh and I'll cross my fingers for her Your husband's ex) to find her "any age" man asap! This way she'll might give you a break!

 

[Steph C]

Oh wow! I'll keep that in mind but so far the only Canadian I know belongs to me! lol.
My hubby's ex is always demanding raise also. She says if he can afford all the travelling, he can afford to pay more child support as if he has to explain to her what he does with his earnings :
She got insane the moment I blocked her on my Facebook, she even called my husband demanding an explanation! What can I say? She didn't want to be friends with me so... I don't want her going through my private life.
This witchcraft thing you're telling me sounds really bizarre :-\, but I would not worry about it too much if i were you, what goes around comes around. Focus in your life with your husband (I know it's hard with someone bothering you all the time...).
I like to think she is gonna stop bothering us when she realizes there is nothing she can do to interfere in our happiness, so being happy is what I am going to do! ;D

Yeah, I mean it doesn't bother me too much. Plus I know a native remedy I learned from an elder here, it's a certain giant fungus you can pick off the north side of a tree, anyways I got me one. It's like a deflector apparently. It just bothers me when it bothers him so much. I am beyond sick of hearing him complain about her because he allows it to bother him.

 

[Steph C]

Oh and I'll cross my fingers for her Your husband's ex) to find her "any age" man asap! This way she'll might give you a break!

I know! That's why I thought if anybody around here has an ex they don't like they can hook them up together.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

She's Filipina. Their culture and behaviour is really Latin. She even had a baby from another guy last year. But I guess he didn't stick around and she needs money so her job is a professional annoyer. She's never worked, ever.

He leaves his Facebook public and we know she checks on it.. it's kind of funny because sometimes he will post random photos of us together and she will go off her rocker thinking I'm in the Philippines. My inlaws actually took us to a witch doctor far in the jungle to remove a curse from us once. It was totally bizarre. Last week he posted a pic of his visa to Facebook and she is going insane. She's demanding a raise, of double her money because he will be going to Canada. Please if you know any Canadian men you don't like I can hook them up. I found her profile online at cherryblossoms.com posing in her undies.. hee hee. Looking for a man *any age*

Maybe we can hook her up with my Supervisor....

 

[parker24]

Ahh the EX-factor

My hubby's ex was...interesting. She found out we were dating back in 2010 and messaged me on facebook saying that because I live in Canada, the relationship will fail and he will just leave me especially since I'm fat. Uhh okay. First of all, she and hubby haven't been together in ohh 6-8 years at that point... So how the hell she knew anything about him or I, no clue! Second of all, hubby hasn't talked to her in almost a year at that point. Third of all, she was larger than me! *shakes head* needless to say, she was blocked and hubby deleted her!

My ex was a piece of work (I've only had two boyfriends in my life, and married one ) he was abusive, learned it from his mommy dearest. Actually his mom is the one who broke up with me, on the phone. *shakes head again* Glad I got out of that one haha. But Hubby hates Ex and I'm perfectly fine with that

How is everyone doing? We finally got our AC's in today and It's SOOOO nice in here now haha

 

[um_dunno]

Steph C, nanediniz, Ladies, you have my sympathies ???

The woman seems to be determined to not leave us alone, using their kids as an excuse. She got everything already, their house, their car, her lifestyle, their kids and child support. My husband left the marriage only with his clothes and she wants more and more and she is mad my husband is supporting me financially as if he was neglecting his kids, which he is not. (detail, my husband doesn't support me financially yet once I don't live with him, but he pays for our trips and outings)
He mows her lawn, take and pick up the kids everywhere (sports and music activities), change his days with the kids as she pleases, share the debts of the gifts she buys the kids without consulting him, never failed paying child support and even pays for it in advance, and he has the kids half of the time (Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays until lunch time). He is a dream ex-husband and he wants her to be happy but she seems to be unable to.
I am not sure how to deal with this. My husband just don't tell her anything as he is always afraid to make her mad, but she is always mad anyway.
Forgive my outburst but I don't have anyone I can talk to about this (as I don't want to make my family worried about us).

Whoa, this is crazy, really. The conditions of their agreement is absolutely insane, and should be revise, IMO. Hopefully its not something court ordered. I think it is just an agreement between them. He has kids half of time and still pays child support.. why exactly? And moving her lawn?? And she is still not happy.. I think this woman needs a reality check. I wish you good luck, and to be strong, as I am sure you will have problems with her after you arrive here.
P.S. And I thought I had it crazy, with my husband's ex. At least there is no harassment in our case.. They do not talk to each other... much.

 

[nanediniz]

Steph C, nanediniz, Ladies, you have my sympathies ???Whoa, this is crazy, really. The conditions of their agreement is absolutely insane, and should be revise, IMO. Hopefully its not something court ordered. I think it is just an agreement between them. He has kids half of time and still pays child support.. why exactly? And moving her lawn?? And she is still not happy.. I think this woman needs a reality check. I wish you good luck, and to be strong, as I am sure you will have problems with her after you arrive here.
P.S. And I thought I had it crazy, with my husband's ex. At least there is no harassment in our case.. They do not talk to each other... much.

Thank you Dunno. I appreciate your sympathy.

My husband has the kids half of the time by his own choice, he wants to be near the kids as much as he can as he is a wonderful father. The child support agreement is that he pays her based in the difference between their both earnings, as she makes less than him he has to pay something, which it is enough for the kids needs but not too much and that is what makes her so mad, after all, she need new patio furniture this summer, as a new pool cover, she needs to keep her finger nails and hair looking nice and neat and other things she thinks she is entitled to. She's delusional in my opinion.
My husband mows her lawn because he is a nice guy and because he knows she or her boyfriend won't do it. He always thinks what is the best for the kids.
I am filling myself with lots of patience, love, good vibes and serenity which I'm sure I'll need, to not get affected by her in any way.

 

[Steph C]

My husband mows her lawn because he is a nice guy and because he knows she or her boyfriend won't do it. He always thinks what is the best for the kids.
I am filling myself with lots of patience, love, good vibes and serenity which I'm sure I'll need, to not get affected by her in any way.

Good idea Personally, I would draw the line at Yard Maintenance. But as you can see, I don't have a lot of lines drawn myself either ???

 

[um_dunno]

Thank you Dunno. I appreciate your sympathy.

My husband has the kids half of the time by his own choice, he wants to be near the kids as much as he can as he is a wonderful father. The child support agreement is that he pays her based in the difference between their both earnings, as she makes less than him he has to pay something, which it is enough for the kids needs but not too much and that is what makes her so mad, after all, she need new patio furniture this summer, as a new pool cover, she needs to keep her finger nails and hair looking nice and neat and other things she thinks she is entitled to. She's delusional in my opinion.
My husband mows her lawn because he is a nice guy and because he knows she or her boyfriend won't do it. He always thinks what is the best for the kids.
I am filling myself with lots of patience, love, good vibes and serenity which I'm sure I'll need, to not get affected by her in any way.

I agree with Steph, moving her lawn is too much. Unless maybe they own the house 50/50 still. I hope for your sake, that one thing will be cleared, her needs are her needs, and not necessarily their kids needs. In fact, her needs actually divert the money flow, and money for the new patio furniture set could be spent for kids needs. My husbands ex wears designer clothes while sending their kids to our house wearing ripped ones with holes (I am not kidding).

 

[nanediniz]

I agree with Steph, moving her lawn is too much. Unless maybe they own the house 50/50 still. I hope for your sake, that one thing will be cleared, her needs are her needs, and not necessarily their kids needs. In fact, her needs actually divert the money flow, and money for the new patio furniture set could be spent for kids needs. My husbands ex wears designer clothes while sending their kids to our house wearing ripped ones with holes (I am not kidding).

I agree with you and Steph, Dunno and although his ex doesn't deserve the ex husband she has and I'm not gonna get in a fight over his money, really I don't give a damn. The house is only hers but I see my husband thinks that helping her is making things better between them. He wishes they could have a civilized relationship but she is only nice to him when he is doing something for her. Today her basement she rents is vacant and he is there painting it, changing door and fixing whatever is needed for the new tenant to move in. He says without the rent money she could not make it keeping the house and he wants the kids to stay in the house.
What can I do? I don't lack anything and I am gonna have a job and my own money when I move in with him. I really don't want to fight with my husband because of her or money... Does it bother me? Yes. But so far I can live with it.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

I agree with you and Steph, Dunno and although his ex doesn't deserve the ex husband she has and I'm not gonna get in a fight over his money, really I don't give a damn. The house is only hers but I see my husband thinks that helping her is making things better between them. He wishes they could have a civilized relationship but she is only nice to him when he is doing something for her. Today her basement she rents is vacant and he is there painting it, changing door and fixing whatever is needed for the new tenant to move in. He says without the rent money she could not make it keeping the house and he wants the kids to stay in the house.
What can I do? I don't lack anything and I am gonna have a job and my own money when I move in with him. I really don't want to fight with my husband because of her or money... Does it bother me? Yes. But so far I can live with it.

I think that anything he can do to keep life as normal as possible for his kids he should be credited for. Its certainly not easy for you to have to help carry this baggage with him but it is a true sign of your integrity. I doubt I would be able to do it.

 

[nanediniz]

I think that anything he can do to keep life as normal as possible for his kids he should be credited for. Its certainly not easy for you to have to help carry this baggage with him but it is a true sign of your integrity. I doubt I would be able to do it.

Thank you CJG, this is very nice of you to say.
I had something stuck in my throat about bad things my husband said his ex's said about me (she doesn't know me or ever seen me before), and he didn't stand up for me whatsoever. I don't give a damn about her opinion of me, but it bothered me the lack of attitude of my husband. As I don't want to get in a fight over this woman, I sent him an email telling him how I feel:
I do not care a bit how much money and time you spend to help *****, I do not think that's right but I don't mind, it's your money, your time and your decision.
What bothers me is that she does not respect you, and do not respect me or our relationship and you just won't say anything about it.

I think it's very noble of you to help her while she takes advantage of your kindness when is convenient but baby, please do not allow her to intrude into my life with you, do not let her speak whatever she wants, and don't you explain yourself to her about what is none of her businesses. i do not accept that.
With your attitude you are simply allowing her to continue with the same kind of attitude towards us.

Again, I don't care about the money, I don't care if she has a new pool cover or new patio furniture or a totally renovated basement but I want respect for the very least, respect for you and for our relationship.

I hope from now on you can stand up and not allow **** to call me names, judge us, intruding into our lives and say whatever she wants. This isn't right.
She won't respect us if you don't step up and stand up for us.

I am sorry to bring this up again but I hope by telling you this that I won't have to do this again.

I love you so much and we are just about to start our lives together, I don't wanna fight, I hate fights, so we need to set some boundaries and make things clear to start with the right foot.
What do you guys think?