Re: Love or Opportunity?
spaceraceone said:
Yeah, if someone would give a worthy advice on how to prepare yourself for 9-12 months (or maybe more) of being apart. That's speaking about love, patience and the rest of the basics of any relationship. I guess, get two jobs so all the free time you'll get would be for sleeping (((. And doing some sports on weekends and forget the concept of holidays till you get any more or less worthy news.
dreading all this
What to do While Waiting
Hi Space-race-one 8)
A wise person said to me once that while waiting and if you're the one in Canada waiting for spouse to come, it's important to comfort your spouse that you are "both" waiting. Sometimes it may appear as if, the PR applicant is the one waiting as they'd be the one immigrating to Canada but truly, it's the both of you waiting to be reunited. 1 year can seem like a very long time so what my hubbie and I do is not focus on the time because all it does is remind us of how long we've been apart and that can increase the sadness/depression.
Try to approach this time apart as a journey - a journey is not just about getting to the finish line but rather taking in, learning and experiencing each step of the way. Depending on how well you both make this journey, you won't be the same couple when you get to the end as from when you first started. Hopefully, you'll be a much stronger and loving couple. Discuss your plans together and talk about building your lives together so that you have something to look forward to other than the obvious.
On a daily basis, it's sooooooooo important to create a routine where it feels as if you are both in the same place, including one another on what you do, where you're going, what you're going to cook, and making sure each night ends with I LOVE YOU. Those words are so powerful. Support each other with your ups and downs. Be a good listener and friend. Build the trust by reassuring one another. I find the days are easier to endure when you feel confident in your relationships. Don't do anything that would cast doubt because it's hard to fix from miles away. Make decisions together no matter how small. Your spouse will feel appreciated for it thus increasing your foundation. The main thing while being apart for my husband and I, is feeling confident about each other and our marriage. When you have confidence, you can tackle anything. When you're insecure, you feel needy, and being needy for one whole year will feel like 10 (that's torture). :-\
My husband and I made an agreement that no matter what, if I call him, he would answer no matter how busy he is and vice versa. That has helped us so much. Call each other throughout the day (not insanely) to give positive words, encouragement, just to say "hey just wanted to see how your day is and if you're ok". These words alone is like fuel. It takes effort from both sides to make this journey positive and happy for both. It's normal to disagree but try to appreciate your differences and don't let arguments drag out, it's harder to fix from miles apart and also can create uncertainty and insecurity. NOT GOOD. :'(
While apart, focus on self development, career, projects, so that when you are together, you have even more to offer. Give each other space from time to time. Go out with friends and do some of the things you always wanted to do but never got a chance to. Such as volunteer, visit a museum, make a gourmet dinner, work out!!! I find that after a good work out, I'm energized, focused and feel upbeat!! The sweat gets rid of all physical and emotional toxins.
My two cents....hope this helps even if it's a little bit. This is just a moment in time until you are both together for an eternity.
Anyone else care to give some advice to this question?
