A strain on your relationship?

[CharlieD10]

Now I'm a PR - and so I'm officially unemployed! I'll see how long it lasts before people start calling me lazy...
Sweden

Congrats on becoming a PR finally! Good luck with the job hunting!

 

[bagelbagel81]

Congrats Sweden!
- and thanks for the birthday messages, guys!
Miss Malawi- I am actually lucky enough to be with my fiance through the whole process, so I am definitely one of the fortunate ones! In fact my birthday pressie was Mc Donalds in bed- so I am feeling less reflective and
more celebratory now

Wow, that IS really isolated bonitaanita- I dont know how you have done it for this long! Writing a book? That sounds intriguing... I hope the experience at the very least is inspiring you with the development of some creative fodder.

Everyone that asks me about immigration I end up giving them the massively long detailed boring version of every step of the process- it either a) makes them understand where I am coming from or b) stops them from asking me again with the assumption that they will end up receiving constant blow by blow updates!

 

[CrazyLucy]

I'm at the point where I think I'm going to just outright ignore the subject when they bring it up or say I don't feel like talking about it.

thats pretty much what I had to tell them. I just didnt want to talk about it because it's too stressful. I always say "if there is any news, you will be the first to know!"

and a week later, they ask again. i think its just a way to make conversation in their eyes. for us its just misery to even think about it.

 

[mameelynn]

Yeah the thing we here most from my husbands family is how they don't want us to go (not that they put any effort into making us feel wanted or included in "family" things like how they canceled having thanksgiving with us because two of his sisters were going out of town for example : ) but luckily a lot of our friends and people at our church have a lot more understanding on the basics of immigration either due to them immigrating here or from people going to Canada... I guess that is a plus to living less then 3 hours from the Canadian border! I have heard it a lot over the years with questioning why I don't have a green card here in the US "but your married to an American?!" yeah and I don't have $10000 just laying around to get one either...
I have friends that know about what we are going through and they will ask if we have heard anything and my answer tends to be :-X...lol I sure everyone in a 10 mile radius will know when we finally get PR from my shouts of joy!!!!

 

[Sweden]

Everyone that asks me about immigration I end up giving them the massively long detailed boring version of every step of the process- it either a) makes them understand where I am coming from or b) stops them from asking me again with the assumption that they will end up receiving constant blow by blow updates!

Happy birthday indeed! ( depending on where you are, it might still be your birthday! )

that's a good strategy - i did the same! then I could see that some people had the patience to listen, and were actually intereted, and then would get the updates.... the others, were not interested and get bored, and would never dare asking again for fear of being served with a really long and boring story with details etc!

thats pretty much what I had to tell them. I just didnt want to talk about it because it's too stressful. I always say "if there is any news, you will be the first to know!"

and a week later, they ask again. i think its just a way to make conversation in their eyes. for us its just misery to even think about it.

either that, or some people are really asking because they care - close friends that is....

I have friends that know about what we are going through and they will ask if we have heard anything and my answer tends to be :-X...lol I sure everyone in a 10 mile radius will know when we finally get PR from my shouts of joy!!!!

Oh yes indeed! i started texting friends (here in Canada and in Europe) and didn't really care what time of the day/night it was - was just happy that it finally turned into "decision made"

Good luck all - I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will all hear soon!!
Sweden

 

[blueangel371115]

tn
It is almost hilarious but definitely frustrating to explain the whole process to my family. They don't understand and when I try to explain they get upset. I know it's because they are scared but it puts stress on me and my fiance. As if this process wasn't stressful enough but I only love him more every day as we trudge through. If we can survive this we can survive almost anything.

 

[aerogurl87]

I get the "Oh, you need a work permit? I thought you were married to a Canadian."

Uh......... so?

The southerners all also seem to think Canada is some giant death trap with Yetis, sled dogs, and Igloos.......

When I first came to visit my boyfriend in Canada, my best friend back home told me she was afraid I'd be killed by a logger and left to die in a snow covered forest, while possibly being eaten by a bear. My mom also asked me if there were stop lights up here when I got back. I'm from North Carolina, so I get the whole Canada= cold weather= death mentality.

 

[mameelynn]

When I first came to visit my boyfriend in Canada, my best friend back home told me she was afraid I'd be killed by a logger and left to die in a snow covered forest, while possibly being eaten by a bear. My mom also asked me if there were stop lights up here when I got back. I'm from North Carolina, so I get the whole Canada= cold weather= death mentality.

HAHAHA
Yeah I know how that goes.
My in-laws would rather have us move pretty much anywhere as long as it was still US soil instead of even if we went to just on the Canadian side of the border. They seem to think that the health care will be the biggest issue and I don't worry about that at all but they always twist it so the act as if they are worried about my kids... like oh it might be ok for you but what if the baby gets sick?! My response is it's Canada... we aren't moving to the moon!! lol

 

[bonitanita]

HAHAHA
Yeah I know how that goes.
My in-laws would rather have us move pretty much anywhere as long as it was still US soil instead of even if we went to just on the Canadian side of the border. They seem to think that the health care will be the biggest issue and I don't worry about that at all but they always twist it so the act as if they are worried about my kids... like oh it might be ok for you but what if the baby gets sick?! My response is it's Canada... we aren't moving to the moon!! lol

Luckily for me, my family is pretty well clued up. My aunt is Canadian and moved here many moons ago. My mum is familiar with immigration as she has lots of friends who have been through the same thing.

Boyfriend's family on the other hand are clueless. "Oh, I thought anyone can get a job. Where I work there are lots of foreigners". Then they get angry because there are so many immigrants here who have jobs but I can't work. I'm like erm, they probably went through this once upon a time too.

The fact that immigration won't tell us why our file was not sent to London or when it will be sent is the main cause for the stress for us right now. Until we have a timeline, there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Even if there is I am afraid it will be an oncoming train.

We applied outland because the process is faster but now, we would have been in the same position if we had just applied inland.

 

[amikety]

Luckily for me, my family is pretty well clued up. My aunt is Canadian and moved here many moons ago. My mum is familiar with immigration as she has lots of friends who have been through the same thing.

Boyfriend's family on the other hand are clueless. "Oh, I thought anyone can get a job. Where I work there are lots of foreigners". Then they get angry because there are so many immigrants here who have jobs but I can't work. I'm like erm, they probably went through this once upon a time too.

The fact that immigration won't tell us why our file was not sent to London or when it will be sent is the main cause for the stress for us right now. Until we have a timeline, there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Even if there is I am afraid it will be an oncoming train.

We applied outland because the process is faster but now, we would have been in the same position if we had just applied inland.

My husband's family is the same way - because my mother-in-law is also American. Plus his step-mom is Italian. Marrying a foreigner must be a thing in hubby's family lol.

 

[bo12]

We just started our waiting game. Don't know how long it could take. People kept asking me "why can't you go with your husband since you are married". Waiting is not that easy, especially for me. I am taking too much burden or I give too much burden to myself, since I am turing 32 (although I still look like a college student ). I spent so many years going to school to get different degrees. I guess I just want to run away from getting a job or realizing I am an adult. I was done with school two years ago. Spending too much time at shcool makes me naive and I feel I am still in my twenties. After I got married this year I freaked out somehow. My husband is so far away and we can't plan our future. Almost all my friends have babies and we can't have our own since we are apart. It is all out of control and I hate the feeling. Everything seems uncertian. My husband tells me just to relax because we are genuine; I am well-educated; my English is not bad blah blah blah, so there is nothing to worry about. He is trying to comfort me. However, reading about some people who are genuine but got refused made me nervous. I just want a normal life. I guess I have to wait patiently and not to complain since we are already on the road and there's no other choice. I am trying to make myself useful, have my mind occupied and find something to do to keep from thinking about CIC. Hope the good news come soon.

 

[bonitanita]

We just started our waiting game. Don't know how long it could take. People kept asking me "why can't you go with your husband since you are married". Waiting is not that easy, especially for me. I am taking too much burden or I give too much burden to myself, since I am turing 32 (although I still look like a college student ). I spent so many years going to school to get different degrees. I guess I just want to run away from getting a job or realizing I am an adult. I was done with school two years ago. Spending too much time at shcool makes me naive and I feel I am still in my twenties. After I got married this year I freaked out somehow. My husband is so far away and we can't plan our future. Almost all my friends have babies and we can't have our own since we are apart. It is all out of control and I hate the feeling. Everything seems uncertian. My husband tells me just to relax because we are genuine; I am well-educated; my English is not bad blah blah blah, so there is nothing to worry about. He is trying to comfort me. However, reading about some people who are genuine but got refused made me nervous. I just want a normal life. I guess I have to wait patiently and not to complain since we are already on the road and there's no other choice. I am trying to make myself useful, have my mind occupied and find something to do to keep from thinking about CIC. Hope the good news come soon.

I am 32 too. I've spent the last 9 years of my life travelling, exploring, working abroad here and there and haven't chosen to grow up. All of my friends have cornered at least one aspect of their lives whether it be a mortgage, a baby or a career. Me on the other hand, sitting here without any money in my boyfriend's parents house and have no idea what I'll even do for a job when I am allowed to get one.

SUCKS. The uncertainty and the lack of room for decision making makes this very hard.

You're not alone my friend.

 

[sunsun]

You are not alone ( by Michael Jackson ) ......let's sing together ;D

 

[bonitanita]

Anyone else not super excited for Christmas this year because of the immigration stresses? I feel like Scrooge!

 

[amikety]

Anyone else not super excited for Christmas this year because of the immigration stresses? I feel like Scrooge!

I'm not, but that's because my savings run out in January. Life is going to get really sucky after that.