its individual's own preferences...some people continue dentistry, others change the profession.
urgent help required
- Thread starter knavpreet
- Start date
i am writing this because a bachelor degree in dental surgery is not sufficient if I want to start my own dental practice in India. So, I need to study healthcare management skills to run my own practice
I am.......... , an inhabitant of ...................., India. I passed Matriculation with 78% and Senior Secondary with 65%. Thereupon, I got enrolled myself in Himachal Pradesh University and completed my Bachelors of Dental Surgery in the first attempt in 2013.
After my bachelor’s from himachal pradesh , I came back to my state (Punjab), where I got an opportunity to Work as a Dentist at four different clinics and hospitals. By constantly evolving in the Dental healthcare system I realized that dentistry itself is not enough to become an effective healthcare professional. So I decided to upgrade my knowledge in the healthcare sector through an international platform by opting Health Care Management program which focuses on management and leadership skills to assist healthcare professionals from various disciplines to meet the opportunities and challenges facing the healthcare sector today. Along with working as a dentist, I was also planning for further study in canada. So, I have given IELTS examination and scored an overall 6.5 bands. I have chosen 1 year post graduate program - ‘Health Care Management’ in Northern college.
I received Approval in Principle(AIP) on third september and I started online classes on 16 september because of my true intentions and my curiosity towards this canadian post graduate program.I continuously attended classes without a single leave and appeared for first semester exams and scored 87% marks. During semester one, I believed that this program will provide me the necessary knowledge to become a successful healthcare professional because I have learned various health care management skills during those six months of my online studies. After that, in the mid of second semester, I got the final decision on my application that my study visa is refused.
Canada, as a country, is known for a supportive and nurturing learning environment that would make it easy for me to adjust to a completely new environment for the period of my studies. The contributing factor that helped me to finalize my decision to study abroad and the choice of the institution is that studying in Canada would give me international exposure and a chance to build my confidence in a diverse culture. This internationally recognized education would help me to flourish my identity leading to secure and reliable career growth which I always have been seeking.
Concisely, Canada is the best place for a student to grasp the knowledge of his/her interests with globally recognized qualifications. That is why I believe that Canada is the best option for me to fulfill my aspirations.
I read about my colleges and received good reviews about Northern College (Pures Campus). Even though, Northern college is considered to be a relatively younger institute compared to others, as it was established in 2007. I found that Northern College provides high-quality education that leads to a rewarding professional career and contributes to the betterment of society, this reflection was given to me by the students with whom I interacted on social media. Fast forward training, fast track learning, career targeted course content and experienced industry instructors are the four pillars of this institute. Student reviews and the institution’s goal are the factors that have helped me to finalize the choice of the institution from which I shall pursue further studies. Now, after attending online classes for the first semester, I learned many things along with medical terminology, patient care, and patient safety skills, professionalism and ethics, communication skills, and health care management skills. I found the staff is highly educated and more cooperate to all the students.
After the completion of my studies, I will come back to my hometown as I have earlier moved from Himachal to Punjab after completing my bachelor’s degree.In my country, firstly I will work at managerial level or business level for top leading healthcare organizations based in INDIA; such as Healthcare global enterprise LTD, Max healthcare institute LTD, Apollo hospitals, and various other public and private sectors.After working for such sectors,eventually one day, I will become a successful professional to fulfill my long term goal to set up my own healthcare organization in INDIA to make my parents proud and I will serve the suffering mankind of my developing country by working at a top level , that is, corporate level ,in my own organizaion.
I am confident that this program will prepare me for a challenging career in my field. I will be able to develop my skills and I wish the Visa Authority may find my candidature worth consideration and shall allow me an opportunity to achieve my dream to become a successful person.
I am thankful to you for taking out your valuable time in reading this Statement of Purpose. I will be looking forward to get your positive response.
Thanking you,
Yours truly,
Work on your English. It reads like it's written by someone who lack any English skills, not even college level English.
How do you want me to improve your English? Only you can improve on your English.
see dear, I am not here for unnecessary texts.
so, kindly don't post anything on my post.
Thank you so much
In my SOP some years back I did mentioned all the available job offers I can get when I return to my country, it was to show the VO what job opportunities I can get. But maybe things are different nowadays due to stricter rules.
I'm not your dear. You can't just call people dear, that's not proper English formality. There, your first lesson.
RamSatt
Hero Member
- Mar 8, 2021
- 155
- Category........
- STUDY
- Visa Office......
- Ottawa
- App. Filed.......
- 09-12-2020
- Med's Done....
- 15-11-2020
- Passport Req..
- 17-03-2021
- VISA ISSUED...
- 05-03-2021
- LANDED..........
- 19-04-2021
Hello @knavpreet , I suggest you download and install the free version of grammarly and use other grammar checking softwares like prowritingaid. I'm sure if you google 'free grammar checking softwares' you will find at least a dozen. Put whatever you've written through at least 3 of them and make the suggestions offered.
After that it is better you structure your SoP. You need to address 3 different things that the Visa Officer wants to know -
1. What is your motivation to study the program (Graduate Certificate in Health Care Management) at Northern College in Ontario in Canada.
Why is it not possible for you to study Healthcare Management in India? For example, Lovely Professional University, which is right in your backyard (In Punjab) offers an MBA in Healthcare Management - a 2-year program which is catered to Indian students and is a higher degree than a graduate certificate in Canada. It even offers similar courses (Healthcare IT Systems in Northern College vs Information Management in Healthcare in Lovely Professional University) and these courses teach Indian practices, rules, and regulations; which will be a benefit to you since you state you will return to India and work in the healthcare sector here, albeit in management instead of dentistry. So, how will learning Canadian practices help you here? International exposure aside, there is no value addition.
This is something you need to remedy. Research the courses. Since you say you attended the first semester at Northern College online, how are the courses different from what you've learnt in India during your under-graduation? Talk about the course delivery, the interaction with peers (classmates) and the professors. Talk about how you aim to gain knowledge about difference in practices between India and Canada; which you will work on improving in India once you return. In terms of Northern College, I'm afraid you are at a disadvantage here. It would have made much, much more sense for you to look at an MBA program focusing on health care management or administration at a university instead of a college. Do not quote facts about the college you got off wikipedia, google or facebook. The visa officer is not testing your research skills here. They want to know why Northern College is the best option you considered. How will studying at Northern work better for your career goals than say studying a similar course (Health Care Administration) at St. Lawrence College or Canadore College? The college geography is not important. Neither is its infrastructure or friendly staff or diverse students. Don't make the mistake of mentioning generic stuff like that. How will studying at Northern help you? Talk about that.
2. How does studying in Canada & in Northern College help you with your career goals?
This is a very important question as it ties in with the previous point (Why Canada) and with the next point (Financial ties, Familial Ties, and Opportunities in India). Returning to India and working at a reputed health care organization is good, but mentioning this is not enough. When I looked job opportunities at Healthcare Global Enterprise Pvt. Ltd. on naukri.com for instance, I got pages of different roles. Are you planning on working as a patient care coordinator, or a resident medical officer, a clinic research coordinator, or a medical records technician? Which of these jobs are you qualified for? This will help you explain what role you will take up when you return and will help you justify why you are studying healthcare management in Canada. This is very important.
I can say I will work at Google, Microsoft, Amazon or Accenture in India when I return after completing my masters in Canada. But am I eligible for it? What role am I looking at? Will the masters program in Canada help me achieve that? These are important points I had to mention in my SoP. Company names don't matter as much as clarity in job roles and career options. Define 5-year and 10-year goals and write about them in your SoP. This is very important and will show to the visa officer you are confident and know what you want.
3. Showing financial, familial ties to India
Talk about your family in India, possibly what they do. It is not important, but it will not hurt. This can help the visa officer potentially, to view your parents as human beings, a caring father who works in a bank, supporting his daughter by financing her education (with savings) to help her grow in life. A hard-working mother who juggled being a homemaker and a career as an insurance agent, working part-time while supporting her daughter's education. Humanize them instead of letting them remain the generic father and mother on paper.
In Canada (the US, Europe and most of the western world), parents encourage children to work part-time jobs at a young age, around 16. They get scholarships to college, or try to save money for tuition through hard-work for a few years before they go to college and then university (masters). So in the visa officer's opinion you moving from Himachal Pradesh to Punjab or vice versa will not ring a bell or convince them. I'm sure they won't know the significance of that. You will need to explain why you will return.
--
Using terms like I will eventually open a healthcare organization to service man kind is just plain hilarious, I am sorry to say. Stop trying to portray yourself as Florence Nightingale or Mother Teresa. Using sentences like this will just humor the Visa Officer. It won't convince anyone. Please don't use terms like I believe. It makes you sound unsure.
Instead of saying, I will develop my skills, mention what those skills are specifically. When you are talking about the courses you studied in your first semester, try to mention what you learnt from them instead of mentioning them by name.
Try to incorporate these things and really, really sit down and think through what you want to write. Even after all of this, if you are unable to pen down your goals and do the adequate research, then I'm sorry to say your chances may be slim.
Yes, I know you mentioned more than once that your seniors and batch mates are studying in Northern College or elsewhere, having written possibly the same type, or even worse SoPs, gone through agents like you did. Do you really want to compare yourself to them, instead of working on defining your career? I apologise if I overstepped, but I'm tired of people treating the opportunity to study abroad as a necessity instead of a privilege. Kindly think that through.
I wish you all the best. Good luck!
After that it is better you structure your SoP. You need to address 3 different things that the Visa Officer wants to know -
1. What is your motivation to study the program (Graduate Certificate in Health Care Management) at Northern College in Ontario in Canada.
Why is it not possible for you to study Healthcare Management in India? For example, Lovely Professional University, which is right in your backyard (In Punjab) offers an MBA in Healthcare Management - a 2-year program which is catered to Indian students and is a higher degree than a graduate certificate in Canada. It even offers similar courses (Healthcare IT Systems in Northern College vs Information Management in Healthcare in Lovely Professional University) and these courses teach Indian practices, rules, and regulations; which will be a benefit to you since you state you will return to India and work in the healthcare sector here, albeit in management instead of dentistry. So, how will learning Canadian practices help you here? International exposure aside, there is no value addition.
This is something you need to remedy. Research the courses. Since you say you attended the first semester at Northern College online, how are the courses different from what you've learnt in India during your under-graduation? Talk about the course delivery, the interaction with peers (classmates) and the professors. Talk about how you aim to gain knowledge about difference in practices between India and Canada; which you will work on improving in India once you return. In terms of Northern College, I'm afraid you are at a disadvantage here. It would have made much, much more sense for you to look at an MBA program focusing on health care management or administration at a university instead of a college. Do not quote facts about the college you got off wikipedia, google or facebook. The visa officer is not testing your research skills here. They want to know why Northern College is the best option you considered. How will studying at Northern work better for your career goals than say studying a similar course (Health Care Administration) at St. Lawrence College or Canadore College? The college geography is not important. Neither is its infrastructure or friendly staff or diverse students. Don't make the mistake of mentioning generic stuff like that. How will studying at Northern help you? Talk about that.
2. How does studying in Canada & in Northern College help you with your career goals?
This is a very important question as it ties in with the previous point (Why Canada) and with the next point (Financial ties, Familial Ties, and Opportunities in India). Returning to India and working at a reputed health care organization is good, but mentioning this is not enough. When I looked job opportunities at Healthcare Global Enterprise Pvt. Ltd. on naukri.com for instance, I got pages of different roles. Are you planning on working as a patient care coordinator, or a resident medical officer, a clinic research coordinator, or a medical records technician? Which of these jobs are you qualified for? This will help you explain what role you will take up when you return and will help you justify why you are studying healthcare management in Canada. This is very important.
I can say I will work at Google, Microsoft, Amazon or Accenture in India when I return after completing my masters in Canada. But am I eligible for it? What role am I looking at? Will the masters program in Canada help me achieve that? These are important points I had to mention in my SoP. Company names don't matter as much as clarity in job roles and career options. Define 5-year and 10-year goals and write about them in your SoP. This is very important and will show to the visa officer you are confident and know what you want.
3. Showing financial, familial ties to India
Talk about your family in India, possibly what they do. It is not important, but it will not hurt. This can help the visa officer potentially, to view your parents as human beings, a caring father who works in a bank, supporting his daughter by financing her education (with savings) to help her grow in life. A hard-working mother who juggled being a homemaker and a career as an insurance agent, working part-time while supporting her daughter's education. Humanize them instead of letting them remain the generic father and mother on paper.
In Canada (the US, Europe and most of the western world), parents encourage children to work part-time jobs at a young age, around 16. They get scholarships to college, or try to save money for tuition through hard-work for a few years before they go to college and then university (masters). So in the visa officer's opinion you moving from Himachal Pradesh to Punjab or vice versa will not ring a bell or convince them. I'm sure they won't know the significance of that. You will need to explain why you will return.
--
Using terms like I will eventually open a healthcare organization to service man kind is just plain hilarious, I am sorry to say. Stop trying to portray yourself as Florence Nightingale or Mother Teresa. Using sentences like this will just humor the Visa Officer. It won't convince anyone. Please don't use terms like I believe. It makes you sound unsure.
Instead of saying, I will develop my skills, mention what those skills are specifically. When you are talking about the courses you studied in your first semester, try to mention what you learnt from them instead of mentioning them by name.
Try to incorporate these things and really, really sit down and think through what you want to write. Even after all of this, if you are unable to pen down your goals and do the adequate research, then I'm sorry to say your chances may be slim.
Yes, I know you mentioned more than once that your seniors and batch mates are studying in Northern College or elsewhere, having written possibly the same type, or even worse SoPs, gone through agents like you did. Do you really want to compare yourself to them, instead of working on defining your career? I apologise if I overstepped, but I'm tired of people treating the opportunity to study abroad as a necessity instead of a privilege. Kindly think that through.
I wish you all the best. Good luck!