To include or not to include this info

[aerogurl87]

My boyfriend and I have a very interesting relationship. We met originally on a website for people who were into BDSM and it's a major part of our lives. Because of this I often refer to him by a nickname I've given him that is BDSM oriented. It's not a vulgar name, but I don't want this info to hurt our application. So do you think I should include the site name we met on or just say we met on a dating site, and should I also censor all BDSM related topics in our conversations, as well as the nickname I gave him?

 

[Fencesitter]

That's funny! I don't think it will hurt anything, but I'm sure the VO will raise his/her eyebrows...and at least it will be more interesting than the usual cases...

FS

 

[LeisaP]

that is funny!

but i agree i dont think it will hurt it at all.
its not there job to judge how you met or what your interests are.
just strictly to make sure your relationship is genuine.

and im sure it isnt the first 'interesting' thing the visa officers have come across


good luck!!

 

[aerogurl87]

Haha yeah I guess it would be more interesting, I just don't want it to hurt our case. In the beginning of our relationship we did make up a "contract" to love and care for each other basically while pledging to try our best to have a relationship based around the power exchange we both love that comes with the relationship we have. I don't know if that would help though or hinder our application. I don't want it to be thrown out or not approved because of that factor in our relationship.

 

[canadiangirl78]

Personally I'd keep it more general.

ETA: because this process is subjective and you never know who is judging your case.

 

[aerogurl87]

Personally I'd keep in more general.

ETA: because this process is subjective and you never know who is judging your case.

Yeah see that's why I'm worried. I might get someone who has a prebuilt in predjudice and at the first sight of any keywords, will slam the words DENIED on my application. I think I'll stick to the generalization I've got going now. On the brightside I found an old blog I used to write in about our relationship and it's dated. So more stuff to help our case.

 

[canadiangirl78]

Sounds good! I'm sure you have more than enough evidence.

 

[Creampop]

Personally I'd keep in more general.

ETA: because this process is subjective and you never know who is judging your case.

I agree with above... we're always reading... tell the truth just don't volunteer to much. I met my husband online 14 yrs ago in a sex related chat-room on mIRC, but I didn't put it that way on my application... not because I'm embarrassed but because I didn't want to be judged. (app asked how we met our answer online in a real time chat room) I surely don't want anyone digging anymore then they have to into my life and I surely don't wanna give them a reason.

 

[aerogurl87]

I agree with above... we're always reading... tell the truth just don't volunteer to much. I met my husband online 14 yrs ago in a sex related chat-room on mIRC, but I didn't put it that way on my application... not because I'm embarrassed but because I didn't want to be judged. (app asked how we met our answer online in a real time chat room) I surely don't want anyone digging anymore then they have to into my life and I surely don't wanna give them a reason.

So far I wrote that we met on a dating site, which is true. The only thing is in some of our emails I mention the BDSM aspects of our relationship. I don't want it to look weird when I black out bits and pieces of emails, but at the same time I don't want to be judged either. I think I'll stick to the blog entries, emails, and chat logs for now and just censor all the "other" stuff that may be in our convos.

 

[LeisaP]

So far I wrote that we met on a dating site, which is true. The only thing is in some of our emails I mention the BDSM aspects of our relationship. I don't want it to look weird when I black out bits and pieces of emails, but at the same time I don't want to be judged either. I think I'll stick to the blog entries, emails, and chat logs for now and just censor all the "other" stuff that may be in our convos.

maybe if you decide to black out stuff. or censor some parts
just write them a side note as to why you are censoring out those pieces.
so they dont become suspicious. and it gives them a valid reason why .

 

[aerogurl87]

maybe if you decide to black out stuff. or censor some parts
just write them a side note as to why you are censoring out those pieces.
so they dont become suspicious. and it gives them a valid reason why .

Yeah I'll do that. I guess I should write that I blacked out parts because they pertained to a very sensitive topic regarding our relationship. Or something along those lines.

 

[LeisaP]

Yeah I'll do that. I guess I should write that I blacked out parts because they pertained to a very sensitive topic regarding our relationship. Or something along those lines.

yes. that sounds good.
good luck with everything!

 

[aerogurl87]

yes. that sounds good.
good luck with everything!

Thanks

 

[canadiangirl78]

Yeah I'll do that. I guess I should write that I blacked out parts because they pertained to a very sensitive topic regarding our relationship. Or something along those lines.

I wouldn't black parts out. Might seem suspicious. Just copy paste and delete. I doubt they read much anyway.

 

[podkayne8]

I would say what site specifically you met on as I was asked that a ton. (I met online gaming via facebook but still, I have been asked by border officers specifally what site etc). However other than that I don't think they need to know too many personal details. When I applied I talked about specific events, described every time we met in person, what friends/family were there etc. I did include some emails with some 'adult natured talk' and I didn't black it at out. Mostly because I was being lazy lol and didn't really care much if someone read it. There were email fights too lol so *shrug* I do know others on the forum have blacked out intimate details form chat transcripts/emails and it wasn't a problem. Good luck!