Sex questions in interviews............ :-|

[toby]

There is guidance as to how CIC interviews should be conducted.

You can find it here http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/op/op01-eng.pdf section 11

11. Procedure: Conducting interviews


• Maintain the dignity of the applicant.



Personal questions are acceptable as long as the officer is respectful.

Given the stated obligation of the Officer to be respectful, where a question seems inappropriate, the applicant could say:
" That is a personal question that would be embarrassing for me to answer. I'll do so if it is necessary, but would you first please explain how it helps you reach a just decision?"

 

[heatherusa]

Given the stated obligation of the Officer to be respectful, where a question seems inappropriate, the applicant could say:
" That is a personal question that would be embarrassing for me to answer. I'll do so if it is necessary, but would you first please explain how it helps you reach a just decision?"

I agree that is a valid option but I think that the fear of retribution for not answering questions is too great for some people. The "fate" of our future with our spouse is in their hands and in a "he said she said" situation the applicant may not be believed over the IO. Especially when there is no way to prove what was actually said.

Sad and scary

 

[toby]

Wow....well, there is the proof the IO DO ask questions about peoples sex life.

Remember folks.....condoms not only keep you safe...they get you a PR too.....LOL

And condoms are more expensive in Vancouver than in Saskatchewan, I am told. In Vancouver, you can spend $350,000+ for a small condom of 850 square feet!!

 

[toby]

I agree that is a valid option but I think that the fear of retribution for not answering questions is too great for some people. The "fate" of our future with our spouse is in their hands and in a "he said she said" situation the applicant may not be believed over the IO. Especially when there is no way to prove what was actually said.

Sad and scary

If you have reason to ask for an interpreter, just to make sure the applicant expresses himself or herself in the best way possible in a pressure situation, that interpreter could be called as a witness in any future inquest.

 

[boyee6576]

No the applicant is not believed over the visa officer. No visa officer writes down the inappropriate questions and remarks. Its their job on the line if they get caught. I think thats why some have a god complex. Where is the proof they said or did anything wrong besides if you are rejected then your only PO'd you got rejected right? Who can make them accountable? We complained about our visa officer to the high commissioner of the embassy. He replied to me and said that if she did say what I reported, then it was indeed inappropriate. However, they can not confirm she said it or deny it. They looked through the interview notes and found nothing (big shock there) So it was he said she said, but they assured me that a note was placed on her work file and she was warned to not be in that kind of situation again. In the end, the decision was to let the refusal stand.

 

[abumawada]

I wonder when an officer drag himself or you as an interviewee to such a very humiliation questions what will be the result to be arosed and feel the sense or just humiliate the other party ?? for everything there is a limit so why my private issue exposed to the market or for someone valued and not valued, in my case as irishapplicant said I am applying I am not begging so I would have to give him/her a lesson and fold the process papers after all dignity is more than everything in this life . Clearly life it doesn’t end in Canada the only thing let people have confidence and face such kind of arrogance.

Thank you !

 

[boyee6576]

well different cultures as we all know feel differently about talking about sexual matters. In the west its a bit different we can talk about it freely. However, there is a line you just dont cross. Somethings might not be a big deal to share but to ask details in my opinion, is crossing the line. There is also one aspect of this matter that immigration doesnt seem to take into considerater and thats religion. My husband and I are christian and our beliefs are that our sex life is extremely personal and private. We dont share any portion of our life with anyone. Thats just how we were both brought up. My husbands father is a Minister and very high position. We have been taught since little ones that things are private and so that is what we believe and hold to. When my husband was interviewed, he was very upset about the questions, but knowing full well that the visa officer had the power to squash our hopes of being together, he answered her questions. He said that even though her mind was made up to reject us before the interview even began he thought she might change her mind by him answering her questions even though he felt totally humiliated.

 

[nncs]

I agree with boyee.

I also think that unless they are totally questioning the genuiness of the relationship, then sex questions are irrelevant and they can be avoided (even just the general ones) and come up with so many other questions to determine if the relationship is genuine. Things that the couple would only know....ie. if you lived together, what side of the bed did you/your spouse sleep on, etc...

9 more days for our interview. Praying, oh so much! Hope it'll start moving fast after that.

 

[jillandmat]

i think sex questions are dumb..
they dont guage a relationship at all....

how many times a week makes a relationship genuine?

 

[boyee6576]

well no good relationship is built on sex so what is it that they are looking for? When you live apart there is no sex life, so why bother to ask? It's an important part of a relationship but its not everything. I dont think it should be involved in any interview. Sex is that butter icing on a beauitful cupcake, but you need the cupcake first to put the icing on.

 

[matthewc]

i think sex questions are dumb..
they dont guage a relationship at all....

how many times a week makes a relationship genuine?

I don't think they're going to refused you if you don't have sex every night!

It's more that if they ask both spouses about this, separately, and get very different answers, that is a good indication that the application is fraudulent. If both spouses say "that's very personal and not something we ever discuss with other people", that most likely actually strengthens your case, as you're both giving the same answer.

 

[jillandmat]

well i hope not!
with 2 kids under 5
bed sharing/AP/EBF
me working nights
my DH working days..

....

 

[canadianwoman]

The visa officer is usually just checking that the answers are the same. This requires that he/she talk to both partners, though, which they usually don't do.
I just read one appeal case on Canlii where the main reason the judge gave to reject the appeal is that the husband said they used condoms as birth control, and the wife said she was on the pill. The judge figured that if they were actually in a bona fide relationship and actually had sex, they would both be in agreement about what kind of birth control they were using.

 

[BeShoo]

How often is not important really, but if you never have and don't have a good reason, it doesn't introduce doubts and weighs in with all the other criteria. If there's no sex, you could just be roommates. Of course there are lots of other things that roommates don't normally do, like have joint bank accounts, etc., but forgetting when and where you first had sexual relations certainly sends up a red flag. (One more thing is if you are still having sex with an ex-spouse or ex-partner. That has happened in at least one appeals case I was reading. It makes it hard to claim that the "former" relationship ended.)

 

[leroadrunner]

:-D So glad my fiancee is Brazilian, talking about sex is like talking about the weather for them!