Seperated during sponsorship

[missmymexi]

Well my husband is not very involved either...but his involvement is not by choice....he is in Cuba and he has limited access to email only.....but he knows exactly what is going every step of the way and he keeps me grounded when I go off.........I know it drives him crazy because we are both very much alike in that we are proactive and this process is killing us can we can do nothing but wait......

We talk everyday, so he gets daily updates but could care less, I dont know if I am just having one of those days or if I am at the end of my rope. I love him with all my heart but I am starting to doubt that I am doing the right thing, it makes me think maybe he doesnt want this. I am usually pretty positive. I dont know, maybe its because we are now at 11 months not seeing eachother and there is no hope in sight to when we will see eachother again, I think we are growing apart, so I am feeling really sad. Having ones of those days were everything feels hopeless.

 

[KJG]

We talk everyday, so he gets daily updates but could care less, I dont know if I am just having one of those days or if I am at the end of my rope. I love him with all my heart but I am starting to doubt that I am doing the right thing, it makes me think maybe he doesnt want this. I am usually pretty positive. I dont know, maybe its because we are now at 11 months not seeing eachother and there is no hope in sight to when we will see eachother again, I think we are growing apart, so I am feeling really sad. Having ones of those days were everything feels hopeless.

missmymexi.....it definitely is one of those days....and the longer you are apart the worse it is.....I don't know your situation but is there no way you can pop down for a visit....it is so very hard to be apart that long......I am sure he wants this but he is probably just as disenheartened as you are.......and it is hard to get out of these funks........

 

[missmymexi]

missmymexi.....it definitely is one of those days....and the longer you are apart the worse it is.....I don't know your situation but is there no way you can pop down for a visit....it is so very hard to be apart that long......I am sure he wants this but he is probably just as disenheartened as you are.......and it is hard to get out of these funks........

Thank you KJG, I think you are probably right

 

[KJG]

Thank you KJG, I think you are probably right

you are welcome....I know when you are apart for so long negative thoughts tend to creep in and without the physical day to day contact or reassurance they are hard to put away sometimes...when I get like this I tend to go over all the notes/cards he has sent me and our pictures...especially are wedding ones.......it takes a concentrated effort to be positive day by day......but if you can....grab a friend and a bottle of wine...have a chat fest and you should be better!!!!

 

[Zouk Princesse]

We talk everyday, so he gets daily updates but could care less, I dont know if I am just having one of those days or if I am at the end of my rope. I love him with all my heart but I am starting to doubt that I am doing the right thing, it makes me think maybe he doesnt want this. I am usually pretty positive. I dont know, maybe its because we are now at 11 months not seeing eachother and there is no hope in sight to when we will see eachother again, I think we are growing apart, so I am feeling really sad. Having ones of those days were everything feels hopeless.

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with it all. There's nothing like being separated from the one you love to completely mess with your head. I don't know your husband, so I won't pretend to know what's in his mind, but I will say that the apparent lack of interest is not always a sign of lack of caring. In fact, in some cases it is the opposite. Everyone handles stress and other emotions differently, some people find it helpful to talk about it, others find that saying things out loud make them hurt more. My husband is extremely involved in our process, but even he has his days when he just doesn't want to talk about it, and I know it's because it hurts too much to think about us being apart.

Some people get really excited whenever they talk about things that mean a lot to them, such as this, and the disappointment that comes with another month of no news is too much to bear, it's like a crushing blow. So to avoid this, they just adopt a really nonchalant approach. Again, it's all an extension of how much it means to them. So try not to be disheartened by your husband's withdrawal, trust in what you know about your marriage and each other, and you'll have a reason to smile again

 

[KJG]

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with it all. There's nothing like being separated from the one you love to completely mess with your head. I don't know your husband, so I won't pretend to know what's in his mind, but I will say that the apparent lack of interest is not always a sign of lack of caring. In fact, in some cases it is the opposite. Everyone handles stress and other emotions differently, some people find it helpful to talk about it, others find that saying things out loud make them hurt more. My husband is extremely involved in our process, but even he has his days when he just doesn't want to talk about it, and I know it's because it hurts too much to think about us being apart.

Some people get really excited whenever they talk about things that mean a lot to them, such as this, and the disappointment that comes with another month of no news is too much to bear, it's like a crushing blow. So to avoid this, they just adopt a really nonchalant approach. Again, it's all an extension of how much it means to them. So try not to be disheartened by your husband's withdrawal, trust in what you know about your marriage and each other, and you'll have a reason to smile again

very well said!!!!

 

[missmymexi]

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with it all. There's nothing like being separated from the one you love to completely mess with your head. I don't know your husband, so I won't pretend to know what's in his mind, but I will say that the apparent lack of interest is not always a sign of lack of caring. In fact, in some cases it is the opposite. Everyone handles stress and other emotions differently, some people find it helpful to talk about it, others find that saying things out loud make them hurt more. My husband is extremely involved in our process, but even he has his days when he just doesn't want to talk about it, and I know it's because it hurts too much to think about us being apart.

Some people get really excited whenever they talk about things that mean a lot to them, such as this, and the disappointment that comes with another month of no news is too much to bear, it's like a crushing blow. So to avoid this, they just adopt a really nonchalant approach. Again, it's all an extension of how much it means to them. So try not to be disheartened by your husband's withdrawal, trust in what you know about your marriage and each other, and you'll have a reason to smile again

That is excellent advise, and I am sure you are right. We also had a good talk shortly after I posted this, so my positivity is back, think I was just having a bad morning, I usually dont let all this get to me, I think it has just been so long that its starting to pile up. My family has started a fundraiser to get me there to see him for September, so my fingers are crossed. I think a big hug and a kiss would make the world right again

 

[lalatata]

That is excellent advise, and I am sure you are right. We also had a good talk shortly after I posted this, so my positivity is back, think I was just having a bad morning, I usually dont let all this get to me, I think it has just been so long that its starting to pile up. My family has started a fundraiser to get me there to see him for September, so my fingers are crossed. I think a big hug and a kiss would make the world right again

U know , me and my spouse have been friends since 2006 and dating in long distance relationship since 2008 and we finally got married in 2011. Its almost to the point where our wait for the approval and application process has just become an extension of how we have been since we know each other.... It is really hard specially when we are married now and cant wait to be together.. Its important to realize that once this is done, we will be together forever so we just have to be a little more patient, if we can do it for 5 years , why cant we do 5 more months ? Usually the disappointment of no news is tough to bare but the thing is no news is also good new when it comes to CIC. We sometimes avoid talking about CIC all together, joke abt CIC, discuss cases from the forum, make sure we are in touch most of the times to know who is upto what etc.. I guess the thing which is the hardest to do is wait but there is nothing more then what we have done , can do to finish this waiting and i guess we just have now wait for this waiting to get over.. if you know what i mean.

 

[missmini]

We talk everyday, so he gets daily updates but could care less, I dont know if I am just having one of those days or if I am at the end of my rope. I love him with all my heart but I am starting to doubt that I am doing the right thing, it makes me think maybe he doesnt want this. I am usually pretty positive. I dont know, maybe its because we are now at 11 months not seeing eachother and there is no hope in sight to when we will see eachother again, I think we are growing apart, so I am feeling really sad. Having ones of those days were everything feels hopeless.

missmymexi, try to look from his eyes to everything, put urself in his shoes and think how u would react; getting deported must b heartbreaking especially since it didn't affect only him, it affected also u, the person he loves; i'm sure it is very very hard for him and it's maybe normal for him to b a little skeptical cuz at the end this is the same gouverment which deported him in the first place; plus men in general don't like to talk abt emotions or problems; they like to solve the problems, but now he's stuck, he can't help u, he can't help himself cuz it's not in his hands; women on the other hand overanalyze things too much, we r way too emotional and moody unfortunately for us and them

i'm sure this is just a hard time which will just pass try to avoid the immigration subject and spend some time together in different way without serious talking - play a game, watch a movie, ....

also for some ppl could b very hard to hear the other one's voice, see them moving without being able to touch them, hug them; so in that case don't get frustrated, give him the space he needs but still keep close contact with a nice sms, short call, etc

time alone now and thinking abt this is ur enemy i think; when i'm in this situation i try to b busy, b out, spend time with friends, get refreshed and later u'll see things in a brighter color

hang in there!!

 

[dcas09]

hello every1 ive read all these threads and agree this process is the toughest that any1 has to endure. ive been dealing with this for a bout 3 years now first 2 was ok cuz every 4 months ill take a trip to el salvador for a few week and sometimes 3 months, but now that i had to pay all the process fees here in the USA with rent and other bills that come along its been hard to take the trip its been a 11 months since ive seen my wife, we keep a constant communication she a latin women who feel no communication can take a wrong turn and we can fall out, so its good for me to keep communication, because if not i feel we both will feel lonely an none of us want that, we truly genuinely love each other an hope all this comes to an end. we been informed that we are just waiting on the interview so i have my whole body crossed hoping everything goes rite i dont wish this on any1 but if u do have 2 go thru this hope u r really in love if not dont do it... it is the longest most exhausting thing to do cuz theres moments u cant see each other and u think about how a kiss feels how it feels to touch them again. what i believe keeps us on track is knowing that soon we will have a strong long happy loving life..thanks every this is my story. hope every1 here passes there process with flying colors... great site to express thanks every1

 

[Luckyman]

I hear all of your comments.....and feel all the pain. I actually moved away from Canada to live with my wife while the process was going, but couldn't submit the application due to obtaining documents overseas for both of us. It really helped, but also hindered because we lived together for 10 months, now we're apart and at the start of a new application.

So we reflect on our, wedding(s), pictures, IM, TXT, and we talk every morning, night, and try to Skype whenever possible, usually every day

I don't know if this sounds too weird, and I don't know if anyone has tried Skex.....but I've never met anyone that connects to me like my wife, both physically and spiritually. The spiritual part can be covered through above methods, but physically is impossible.....or is it?

Well, with video chat, and active imaginations, partial physical satisfaction can be obtained.

So that covers most of the bases while apart.

(hey....don't judge, we do what we can while this process is underway, and it drives us all to do different things)

Cheers!