Request application rejection

[shamsia]

I'm sorry but I fail to see the point of your comment. This whole forum is about immigration to Canada. If you want to talk about moral or religious perspecitive from a Pakistani point of view, I'm all for that BUT not on this forum. YOU have to understand (just like you are asking others to do) that there is more than one perspective, culture, religion, belief on this forum. But the actual INTENTION of this forum is to give LEGAL advice. So like it or not, the legal choice is for the OP to withdraw his sponsorship. There is NO other LEGAL choice. So feel free to expound on the "cultural" or "proper" way to do things in Pakistani/Islamic cuture if you choose. But at the end of the day, the CANADIAN WAY is what matters most and that means applying the LAW per IRPA.

Yes, application wise, he could do whatever is right and legal. But from the information the OP has provided prompted people to comment on the cultural aspect. We are at the end of the day humans. Can we really see things in black & white that you are asking us to? My point is, by all means, be Canadian and you all are entitled to your opinions, the same way we are entitled to ours. So stop the high-handedness, that's all.

 

[annabruce]

You guys are just going on and on from a Canadian and an immigration perspective. And you guys are right in your own way. We, on the other hand, are talking from a religious, moral and cultural perspective. And you guys do NOT know the culture of the people or region like we do. WE are those people living in India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and we know what we are talking about. We are not a bunch of irrational people shooting our mouths off. Neither do we expect you guys to understand the moral and unindividualistic context we speak from. I mean seriously, you are not living here, you do not belong here, and neither do you know the way things are done here. So I do not expect you to understand why our sympathies are with the wife. Can you guys please drop the accusations and get off your high horse? Thank you.

Hey! You are coming to MY country and MY culture here in Canada. Although you are free to practice your religion and culture within my country, you better learn to adapt to the Canadian way and learn to adjust your beliefs and your way of thinking to what is appropriate and normal in Canada. Otherwise, you won't be happy and will never feel like you belong here.

"So stop the high-handedness, that's all."

One of you on the first page condemned this guy to hell!! What is wrong with you??

I was just reading about a woman who was murdered by a father - a father who justifies this murder, and calls it an honour killing! When I read comments like what some of you have written, this is what I think about. People like this, can get the hell out of MY country! People like this, should never enter MY country!

 

[annabruce]

By the way, I also know that arranged marriages are a part of the Pakistani culture. So the Pakistani man having got Canadian PR is pressured by his family to marry a Pakistani woman he thinks is nice enough but doesn't really want. He arrives in Canada and spends the next 3 years struggling through an immigration process for a woman he doesn't really want. So, the poor woman finally gets her PR and arrives in Canada, a strange country she knows nothing about, to start a new life with a man who has been pressured and does not really want her.

How good is this really for that woman? Of course, if she is just using that man to get status in Canada, I can see why she might be upset.

 

[ladyinwaiting]

Guys, relax.

People have different opinions and different cultures. Yes, we don't know anything about the OP or his wife, so there's no need to take sides or start a big argument over cultural/religion differences. C'mon, we're here to support each other regardless of our personal beliefs. Don't take things so personally.

The OP asked a question, it has been answered, now just forget about it. ;/

 

[annabruce]

Guys, relax.

People have different opinions and different cultures. Yes, we don't know anything about the OP or his wife, so there's no need to take sides or start a big argument over cultural/religion differences. C'mon, we're here to support each other regardless of our personal beliefs. Don't take things so personally.

The OP asked a question, it has been answered, now just forget about it. ;/

Ladyinwaiting, you're absolutely right, but what we just saw here was a brand new member on this forum who needed help but was attacked. Talked to differently, he might have actually adjusted his way of thinking. Now that individual has disappeared and will likely never return. This is not acceptable.

 

[annabruce]

Now who's being judgemental? :

"Judging" that it wrong to kill a person and call it honorable???

I was simply using that as an example of people who use "culture" to justify ugly behavior.

Oh, I see, you deleted your comment. LOL!

 

[shamsia]

Hey! You are coming to MY country and MY culture here in Canada. Although you are free to practice your religion and culture within my country, you better learn to adapt to the Canadian way and learn to adjust your beliefs and your way of thinking to what is appropriate and normal in Canada. Otherwise, you won't be happy and will never feel like you belong here.

"So stop the high-handedness, that's all."

One of you on the first page condemned this guy to hell!! What is wrong with you??

I was just reading about a woman who was murdered by a father - a father who justifies this murder, and calls it an honour killing! When I read comments like what some of you have written, this is what I think about. People like this, can get the hell out of MY country! People like this, should never enter MY country!

*sigh* The sympathy that you shown the OP, if only you could have shown half of it to the wife. Maybe the choice of words of while expressing it was inappropriate, but you have no idea what the girl and her family would have to face. Yes, you cannot force the guy, or anyone to be in a marriage against their will, but what got to us is "I no longer have feelings for her". Trust me, to you this might be "expressing your individualism" but to us, it shows the flighty, pseudo-individualistic approach that we seem to have adopted. And trust me, we cannot just see someone from our community screw their lives like this. Yeah, it might seem nosey to you, but that is how we are. Hence, the outburst. And the OP is probably going to hear the same from his family anyways...

Peace!

 

[shamsia]

"Judging" that it wrong to kill a person and call it honorable???

I was simply using that as an example of people who use "culture" to justify ugly behavior.

Oh, I see, you deleted your comment. LOL!

No no, I was coming up with a better argument ;D Look, why dont we just drop this antagonism? We can discuss this in an informative way you know...

 

[newdelhi2011]

Did anyone really read OP's post before jumping to this long ass discussion? He lost interest in his wife not because he was forced by "arrange marriage" or any other reasons. He is tired of waiting in this long immigration process. And I don't think his father would have killed him for not marrying him to his wife like people think here. people can go soooooo off topic sometimes. ;D

If marriage fails for watever reasons, no need to sponsor x-wife and she wouldnt wanna come here either....why would she wanna come here if her husband doesnt want her? Do we know her well enough that we started judging her too?

 

[annabruce]

"*sigh* The sympathy that you shown the OP, if only you could have shown half of it to the wife."

Because, I am a sponsor. Aside from the fact that I don't want to break immigration law and be denied the opportunity to sponsor in the future, I shoudn't feel obligated to financially support someone in Canada for 3 years unless I really want that person.

I'm very sorry that this woman and her family will be "hurt" back in Pakistan. Unfortunately, I DO lack sympathy for that family in this case because of what I have personally observed in Ottawa, Canada. There is a strong tendancy in your part of the world to send educated people to Canada under the skilled category, and then force that person to marry so that the woman and her family can come to Canada. That educated man has earned the RIGHT to be in Canada and should not feel obligated to act contrary to his own will.

"If marriage fails for watever reasons, no need to sponsor x-wife and she wouldnt wanna come here either....why would she wanna come here if her husband doesnt want her? Do we know her well enough that we started judging her too? "

Absolutely correct. Now, let's not send this poor guy off to "Hell"!


"Mr. Kenney said that the total number of Canada visas issued in the last year has increased notably adding that a large number of applications for Canada visas received by Canadian High Commission and its various embassies are fake. Hence, there is a need to control this at the earliest. "

http://www.canadaupdates.com/content/canada-urge-india-philippines-and-china-curb-immigration-fraud-15716.html

Just to give you an idea of why I am suspicious and lacking sympathy for the woman's family. This is the REAL reason for increased wait times, not because of guys like the OP changing their mind after such a long wait for a woman he doesn't really want.

 

[newdelhi2011]

Gotcha. So the nice girl who loves her husband in other part of the world is fishy as per your view. ???
Btw what's your view on kardashians

 

[annabruce]

Gotcha. So the nice girl who loves her husband in other part of the world is fishy as per your view. ???
Btw what's your view on kardashians

Wait times exist for a reason. Actually, I was disputing this remark.

"They know douche-bag like you will marry some one and then soon will get tired of a "nice girl" who still "love" you, and because of people like you immigration holds application of all nice and genuine people."

Fraud is the reason why wait times are as long as they are. Average wait now out of the Islamabad office: 26 months. Come on, do you really think this wait time exists because some poor shumuck is impatient and undevoted to his wife? This wait exists becuase of a high rate of fraud in that part of the world!

 

[newdelhi2011]

Wait times exist for a reason. Actually, I was disputing this remark.

"They know douche-bag like you will marry some one and then soon will get tired of a "nice girl" who still "love" you, and because of people like you immigration holds application of all nice and genuine people."

Fraud is the reason why wait times are as long as they are. Average wait now out of the Islamabad office: 26 months. Come on, do you really think this wait time exists because some poor shumuck is impatient and undevoted to his wife? This wait exists becuase of a high rate of fraud in that part of the world!

I agree. That was bit harsh. I am not too sure about pakistan's timeline since most of the fraud cases are from china and india and we still have a pretty short time line compared to pakistan. But I do agree that timeline for all VOs are increasing gradually to avoid fraud cases which is absolutely understandable and necessary. Liberal gov was way soft on those cases and PC is catching up on cleaning their mess.

 

[annabruce]

I agree. That was bit harsh. I am not too sure about pakistan's timeline since most of the fraud cases are from china and india and we still have a pretty short time line compared to pakistan. But I do agree that timeline for all VOs are increasing gradually to avoid fraud cases which is absolutely understandable and necessary. Liberal gov was way soft on those cases and PC is catching up on cleaning their mess.

NewDelhi, what concerns me is pressure that I see felt by young possible immigrants who come to Canada. I spent several years at University with International Students, and quite a large number of them feel pressured to marry and bring their spouse to Canada.

Now again, we don't know anything about the OP. But, what if the OP is a young guy, a student in Canada, who as a result of his education managed to stay in Canada as PR. Is it really fair to expect this young guy to wait many years so he can finally start a life with a woman he barely knows? Is it reasonable to pressure him to go and visit Pakistan, find a wife, go back to Canada, wait for 3 years, before he can start his life with a woman he barely knows?

I really wish marriage were as simple as love. Unfortunately, it isn't.

The reality is that I love immigrants in Canada. I think Canada exists as a consequence of immigration and is greatly enhanced as a result of immigration. The educated Economic immigrant is welcome here. The spouse of that immigrant is also more than welcome if contributing to the well being of the Canadian resident or to Canada as a whole. BUT, you damn well better be well-intentioned!

 

[newdelhi2011]

How come I don't come across those kind of south asians? Every single person that I know including my self chose to fly in that part of the world to find a better half and I am glad that I did that. I know many guys from the same ethnic origin and born and raised here and still go freely to india or pakistan for marriage. I guess it would be hard for you to understand without knowing the culture and other values and that's what shamshia was trying to explain.
As that been said, I agree there are handful of cases where parents force their kids to marry someone from backhome and things go really bad. There are nutbegs in all communities and I wouldn't judge everyone based on that.