Please review my written tests for IELTES and share your feed back

[kk.mct28gmail.com]

Please review my written tests for IELTES and share your feed back


Question: There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks.

Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter

• describe what the problems are

• explain how these problems are affecting you

• suggest what you would like the company to do

Answer:
Dear Sir,

Refer to the severe issue of the mismanagement of the arrival schedule, your swift support is requested. I am a resident of the Davis, Road. My residential locality is 15minute away from the bus stop. I am using bus top number 15 of route no. 28. The stop no. 2 is located near the famous building of the Doctor’s Hospital. I use your transportation service while going and coming back from my office. There is no fixed time of reaching the bus at my stop. The frequency of arriving buses at my stop is 30minute. The bus arrives at 7:05AM and sometime it arrives at 7:25AM near the Doctor’s Hospital stop. This varied schedule leads to me the missing of the bus. The regular late arrival of bus leads to the attendance issues. I had to deduct my casual leaves because of this late coming. Please guide your staff to stick with the arrival schedule and ensure their availability on stop as per the schedule.

Please add the facility of monthly payment for the regular customer with discount. The discount offers should be given to the customer who will pay complete one-month payment in advance.

 

[hc_mum]

Please review my written tests for IELTES and share your feed back


Question: There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks.

Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter

• describe what the problems are

• explain how these problems are affecting you

• suggest what you would like the company to do

Answer:
Dear Sir,

Refer to the severe issue of the mismanagement of the arrival schedule, your swift support is requested. I am a resident of the Davis, Road. My residential locality is 15minute away from the bus stop. I am using bus top number 15 of route no. 28. The stop no. 2 is located near the famous building of the Doctor’s Hospital. I use your transportation service while going and coming back from my office. There is no fixed time of reaching the bus at my stop. The frequency of arriving buses at my stop is 30minute. The bus arrives at 7:05AM and sometime it arrives at 7:25AM near the Doctor’s Hospital stop. This varied schedule leads to me the missing of the bus. The regular late arrival of bus leads to the attendance issues. I had to deduct my casual leaves because of this late coming. Please guide your staff to stick with the arrival schedule and ensure their availability on stop as per the schedule.

Please add the facility of monthly payment for the regular customer with discount. The discount offers should be given to the customer who will pay complete one-month payment in advance.

Hi,
Although I am not an expert to score your letter but I can share my feedback on this. To best of my understanding you will get 7 for this. You can improve it by avoiding spelling mistakes and proper usage of "articles" Also try and use more of active voice while writing a letter rather passive one.

 

[russ6970]

I have never taken the IELTS, so I have no idea of the scoring system. A couple of pointers from a native English speaker.

You should try and use your sentences better. There are too many short ones. You need to combine them more. Also, there shouldn't be a comma between Davis and Road on the first line. Good luck hope you get a good mark!

 

[kk.mct28gmail.com]

Hi,
Although I am not an expert to score your letter but I can share my feedback on this. To best of my understanding you will get 7 for this. You can improve it by avoiding spelling mistakes and proper usage of "articles" Also try and use more of active voice while writing a letter rather passive one.

Thanks for your feedback.
please guide me bu highlighting the poor usage of the "articles". You also shared regarding the use of the active voices, kindly highlight them also. Your feedback will be highly obliged.

 

[kk.mct28gmail.com]

I have never taken the IELTS, so I have no idea of the scoring system. A couple of pointers from a native English speaker.

You should try and use your sentences better. There are too many short ones. You need to combine them more. Also, there shouldn't be a comma between Davis and Road on the first line. Good luck hope you get a good mark!

Thanks for sharing me for the area of improvement. Please highlight the short one sentence in my message for my imporvement and better understanding.
thanks.

 

[hc_mum]

Thanks for your feedback.
please guide me bu highlighting the poor usage of the "articles". You also shared regarding the use of the active voices, kindly highlight them also. Your feedback will be highly obliged.

" schedule leads to me the missing of the bus".

Also "I am using bus top number 15 of route no. 28. The stop no. 2 is located near the famous building of the Doctor’s Hospital. I use your transportation service while going and coming back from my office." try and make one long sentence for this instead of such short sentences.

Note- Letter 2 carries more weight, so try and focus more on that and score more in that.

 

[kk.mct28gmail.com]

Thanks. Your guidance will help me to improve my writing skills.

 

[kk.mct28gmail.com]

" schedule leads to me the missing of the bus".

Also "I am using bus top number 15 of route no. 28. The stop no. 2 is located near the famous building of the Doctor’s Hospital. I use your transportation service while going and coming back from my office." try and make one long sentence for this instead of such short sentences.

Note- Letter 2 carries more weight, so try and focus more on that and score more in that.

I wrote answer of another question by taking care of your highlights. Please share your feed back.

Question: You have a Facebook friend living in another country and s/he is curious to learn about a major news item in your country.

Write a letter to your Facebook friend. In your letter

• describe a news story in your country
• explain why people are interested in it
• say how the story personally relates to you

Answer:

Dear Ali,

Hello,

I am hopeful that you are enjoying good health. I am sharing the latest news updates of my county. As you know that I am the citizen of the Pakistan. My country is attached with Iran, China and Afghanistan. My country has also participated in the war of terror after the famous attack of 9-11. Pakistan and India were the single country before the partition of the subcontinent. Both countries got liberation from the common British rule in 14th August, 1947. India is not accepting Pakistan since the time of partition and also tried to attack in our country. Now-a-days, there is a situation of war in both countries due to the Indian invasion in Pakistan. Indian Air Force fighter planes crossed the Pakistani territory and in response, we captured their pilot and knocked down their 2 fighter jets. Our whole nation is committed to defend our territory till our last blood. Although we captured the Indian pilot, but we set him free to spread the message of peace. I am hopeful that our peace gesture will minimize the tension between both countries.