Love or Opportunity? Coffee Social

[parker24]

I'm going to take a wild stab and guess that your job has something to do with the ETFO/OSSTF? :-X

Yep haha. I'm an Educational Assistant. One of my closest friends is a Kindergarten teacher and I volunteer in her class. So I have heard the teachers and their opinions and their frustrations so I understand them. Plus it affects me as well since CUPE is also without a contract *sigh* Thing is, I'm just the on-call one, the supply EA if you will. So unless the EA's get sick and take the day off, I don't work. And since our sick days got cut, I barely work GRRR!!

 

[amikety]

Yep haha. I'm an Educational Assistant. One of my closest friends is a Kindergarten teacher and I volunteer in her class. So I have heard the teachers and their opinions and their frustrations so I understand them. Plus it affects me as well since CUPE is also without a contract *sigh* Thing is, I'm just the on-call one, the supply EA if you will. So unless the EA's get sick and take the day off, I don't work. And since our sick days got cut, I barely work GRRR!!

I used to work with a woman that did Sign Language interpretation, classes, and presentations as a side job. Her primary job was to teach a special education class. So she had 3 jobs.

Seems someone that speaks a valuable language would have better opportunities. Kind of sad.

Then again, we had a lot of teachers working nights and weekends part time just to make ends meet. Also very sad.

 

[amikety]

I was under the impression her husband was living with her in Canada. But if not, I would definitely withdraw and if he wants to work on the marriage he'll have to prove it. Once he's landed in Canada, nothing really to do, they filed under the older law so his PPR is not conditional

I'm under that impression too.... But report him asap. That will get him flagged. She can give them proof he's into another woman. (Probably sponsored herself, but can't sponsor him because it hasn't been five years for her yet!) He can pull whatever he has planned on his own and remain flagged so CIC is wise to him. He might whine and cry, claim refugee status - whatever. At least when he goes on welfare, she won't get the double whammy.

I've probably said this 100 times now, but my first marriage was also fraudulent. I got used for money and left high and dry with a five figure debt in the divorce. My ex-husband walked away with his college degree and LPN license, no debt except a very low rate student loan, his own car, and most of our things. And yeah, a court decided that! I got bled for cash until I was too poor to afford new shoes for work then worked to death so my "student" husband could have new things and video games. The last thing I want is to see that happen to someone else.

If I ever win the lottery, I'm erecting billboards where my ex lives letting everyone know what a cheating scumbag he is. Yes, because he also cheated on me repeatedly!

 

[Maddants]

Hey Maddants! Welcome to our Ladies & Tuyen's Coffee Social!!

thank you for the welcome Halfmoon............is it ok if a man like myself join your group here...lol ........i would like to know what going on a woman mind so i dont make alot of mistakes with my woman...lol

 

[amikety]

thank you for the welcome Halfmoon............is it ok if a man like myself join your group here...lol ........i would like to know what going on a woman mind so i dont make alot of mistakes with my woman...lol

Unless Lady Tuyen and Jim return quickly, we're going to all need some manpower!

 

[Halfmoon]

thank you for the welcome Halfmoon............is it ok if a man like myself join your group here...lol ........i would like to know what going on a woman mind so i dont make alot of mistakes with my woman...lol

Men can you please identify yourselves? We need a list of your names to keep track!!

 

[amikety]

Men can you please identify yourselves? We need a list of your names to keep track!!

Methinks Kev1n is probably a male too. Just something about the name...

So today, I got a job rejection (one that provided a LMO) AND found out I can't afford my university because I can't get the right kind of loan because I DONT HAVE A JOB.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

[Halfmoon]

Methinks Kev1n is probably a male too. Just something about the name...

So today, I got a job rejection (one that provided a LMO) AND found out I can't afford my university because I can't get the right kind of loan because I DONT HAVE A JOB.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

What about grants?

What was the reason for the rejection????

 

[Halfmoon]

Be back soon. Just about to wash dishes.

 

[amikety]

What about grants?

What was the reason for the rejection????

The only grant I can find and qualify for is the Pell Grant which is $2500/year. All other grants I've found require things like children to get.

Scholarship search hasn't been fruitful at all either.

They found someone else that suited their needs better. Whatever floats their boat. It's their loss.

 

[Merlyns_Tim]

Men can you please identify yourselves? We need a list of your names to keep track!!

Well you know I'm a guy, ... Tim ;D

 

[Halfmoon]

Well you know I'm a guy, ... Tim ;D

Good! One more to the list!! I know we've had quite a few others here but I sometimes get confused by our user name.

Saint4peace is also male.

 

[Halfmoon]

I've probably said this 100 times now, but my first marriage was also fraudulent. I got used for money and left high and dry with a five figure debt in the divorce. My ex-husband walked away with his college degree and LPN license, no debt except a very low rate student loan, his own car, and most of our things. And yeah, a court decided that! I got bled for cash until I was too poor to afford new shoes for work then worked to death so my "student" husband could have new things and video games. The last thing I want is to see that happen to someone else.

If I ever win the lottery, I'm erecting billboards where my ex lives letting everyone know what a cheating scumbag he is. Yes, because he also cheated on me repeatedly!

What a scum bag. I never knew that you were in a fraudulent marriage. Every dog has it's day.

 

[saint4peace]

Koukla, I feel and empathize with your pain and hurt. There's nothing in this world that could possibly hurt more than when someone uses and abuses you....especially someone who you love so much.

I promise you one thing here and you may not see it today, tomorrow or even the next while, but I can assure you that when you've gained the courage to walk away from this situation, he's going to grovel in ways an earthworm couldn't ever imagine. Don't even try to comprehend the situation or make sense out of it as I know that is what's running through your mind every minute of the day. Why and how could he do this to you? You've done so much for him and you love him so. How could anyone be so inhumane and not give you what you are deserving of. One day hopefully sooner rather than later, you'll wake up and say to yourself "Koukla, it doesn't matter why any more. The closure isn't even important. Only thing that matters is that I get the hell out of this asap. Not another second, not another minute. Run as if it's all you have to save your own life." At this time, your "true self" will take over and gradually gain the confidence, strength to build back what was stolen and broken.

He has crossed the line here. Could you ever possibly trust him again and live peacefully within your own spirit. I highly doubt it. We don't need to point out the signs as you already know them. I'm sorry you are going through this. You know what you need to do. You simply need to find the courage to write that email to CIC or pick up the phone. On the day you do, it will be the first day for the rest of your life.



Halfmoon: wow! its a great piece, I liked it so much. Keep writing. Your witing is so organised. Good one, hun. Thanks.

 

[saint4peace]

Greetings Koukla74 and welcome to the forums,
I'm a bit of a newbie in here myself, though both my wife and I have been reading what ever we thought might apply to or help us on the Manila part of the forum for quite some time.
I'm really sorry to read what happened, but as someone else mentioned there should have been a few red flags (the one about not meeting any of his family would have been a big one for me). Love can be sort of blind and I know you probably look back now and say to yourself you should have picked up on a few of those flags.
I think we've all been though heart break at one time or another and can sympathize with how you're feeling and what you're going through right now. You've been used and that really leaves a bad feeling that's hard to get over. Personally speaking I'd rather be angry than hurt about something like that. More people should have a chance to read some of the really good things to watch out for or what would send up red flags, such as are in this very thread.
You're not the only one to ever make a mistake in judgement however. Most of us who have survived a bad marriage in the past, ... whether to a domestic, or an import, know we've made them too. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and try to keep going.
I don't know what you're options are but too bad he didn't get one of those new PR cards with the 2 year probation. They are a great idea that was just implemented too late to help some, but should help countless others in the future.

Merlyns_Tim: One more great piece, man you rock!