Love or Opportunity? - I'm sure this question has skated across a sponsors mind at least one time - minimum.
Hi Everyone,
With all the recent discussions within the forum and in headlines across various media channels regarding immigration fraud specifically on spousal sponsorship, I thought it would be valuable for us to share our thoughts on this topic as it could be helpful to many. Advices and warning signs...
To start, I think it's important to note the basics and foundation of what builds a loving relationship. TRUST, RESPECT, HONESTY, PATIENCE.
:-X :'(
I'm female therefore I will speak from a female's perspective so men please feel free to share from the male angle.
I feel it's important to check out a man's values and core beliefs not just by his words but by his actions especially when developing a relationship from long distance:
Does he include you in his every day activities, are his whereabouts accounted for and does he always keep you posted on who he's with and where's going?
Does he go MIA for extended periods of time without a "sound" explanation?
Is he "present" when speaking with you. Does he show sincere interest in your life?
Does he show genuine interest and extend help when you are in need, whether it be emotionally, financially?
Does he discuss future plans with "you" in it consistently or do you have a nagging feeling of "not knowing" where you fit beyond today?
Have you sent him money consistently (people do fall in ruts HOWEVER I think there's a difference between helping another adult in a crisis vs sending consistently enough that the Western Union rep knows you on a first name basis)
Has he discussed finances with you and what his role will be in the home when you are both united in Canada?
Was he quick to talk about marriage before a serious bond was developed?
Has he considered the both of you living in his home country?
When you visit him, is EVERYTHING open access?
Does he provide financialsupport to you if needed?
Are you honest with yourself? I think that many people who've been used as a means for a gateway to Canada to some extent haven't been honest with themselves and may have "ignored" red flags in hopes that "everything will work out".
More importantly, if your inner voice is always going off in your head, that's your instinct advising you to take precaution and certainly something you need to listen to. IF, you are the one having to do the traveling to see your spouse, are the expenses shared between the two such as cost of flights, food, transportation, etc.
I am in a loving relationship with my husband waiting to be reunited however I'm hoping this discussion will help some people who currently have doubts and may have to reconsider their situations before it could cost them their hearts, sanity and bank accounts....
