Kingston,Jamaica

[blondie1216]

Mawnin Fam!

I purchased a brand new vehicle the other day and I get to pick it up today!!!

I will be lurking from work again lol. So mind yuhselves lol

It's Friday! C'mon KGN you still have a full day to reunite families!!!!

NEEXXXXXTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

COngrats on the new car by the way!!!

 

[Halfmoon]

Thanks Halfmoon, does it really take 16 to 18 weeks to process??

I have no clue. Never had to obtain one.? Anyone else here???

 

[Halfmoon]

i dont mean it like that
i jsut mean that i can't deal with the fact this so important and he has his attitude or melo out
let everthing take its course .... that complete crock how can you let evething take its course... I cant sit back and just let things take its course i need to do what ever humanly possible to make sure that things everthing can possibly be done is done so there is no more hold up on our life

Is it preparing for the interview questions you want him to do?

 

[ready_fi_move_on]

Ready, men are men! They do not stress themselves out like we do AND they figure that we will do all the necessary stuff to make sure everything is straight.. I understand just how you feel. Mines telling me I need to get organize... DUDE,, you need to help! I really thank the Lord that I have you cuz if I had to do this by myself, I would gone crazy on couple people.

you see what i am saying girl ..... this is not a joke thing and the outcome of this interview basically controls whats gonna happen to our lives in the next few months ...years even
we spent all this time being seprated and this one interview will determine if we walk away smiling or if we basically get f***k and i NEED to make sure that everthing we need to do can be done

 

[blondie1216]

you see what i am saying girl ..... this is not a joke thing and the outcome of this interview basically controls whats gonna happen to our lives in the next few months ...years even
we spent all this time being seprated and this one interview will determine if we walk away smiling or if we basically get f***k and i NEED to make sure that everthing we need to do can be done

THAT, I understand! I have been in control of my life for soo long and now KINGSTON controls my life. They decide if my family will be together in Canada and in their own sweet time.

 

[ready_fi_move_on]

Is it preparing for the interview questions you want him to do?

yes that ....
and we both believe that the reason we got pulled for an interview as i explained yesterday is because my stepdaughter was born during the course of our relationship
I forwared all the info that i could to him about what we need to do to prove that there was and is now not a realtioship with him and his baby mother .... and as i am talking about it to him all i can get is one word responces and yeah i will look into that baby lets talk bout something else .... don want talk bout that now and all that crap...
we can deal with that lata ... mello yuh self ....why you care what dem people think we know say our thing straight and bullshit like that ......

 

[ready_fi_move_on]

THAT, I understand! I have been in control of my life for soo long and now KINGSTON controls my life. They decide if my family will be together in Canada and in their own sweet time.

Im telling you .....this is driving me off the wall .... and his leave everthing to last minute attitude is drivingme mad too ....yes i know that it is still early before his interview .... but better to start getting everyhting togahter now than later .... i know say he has studied those questions for awhile now and will do goo with that but there are other things that must be done to support the questions
him can't expect fi go to kingston with a plate of rice and no meat pon it wtf....

this is too important to leave to chance

 

[blondie1216]

Im telling you .....this is driving me off the wall .... and his leave everthing to last minute attitude is drivingme mad too ....yes i know that it is still early before his interview .... but better to start getting everyhting togahter now than later .... i know say he has studied those questions for awhile now and will do goo with that but there are other things that must be done to support the questions
him can't expect fi go to kingston with a plate of rice and no meat pon it wtf....

this is too important to leave to chance

I guess he is stressed and trying to not deal with it at the moment. Maybe you should give him a couple days, then he will start everything and make you happy. Men do deal with things differently. I had to stress the urgency for me to get hubby to get fingerprints so that i can sen off info today for fbi clearance.

Mine says, chill, relax, dont let things stress you and then waits for me to say what we need to do next. LOLOL!

We'll get through it hun!! Through God and each other!

 

[chickie72]

WELCOME TO DAWLEX!!!

I have no experience with an overstay... but I think it will effect everything while he is still in Canada on the overstay. anyone with experience can you help? Chickie, CHarlie, calling you for help lol

I don't see where anyone else answered you so I will try my best to help you if I can. My hubby has friends that were on the farm work program, ran off and married Canadians, they have to apply inland in order for them to stay in Canada while their process is going on. I have not heard of any of them having to return to Jamaica to finish the application. My hubbys situation is different as he was on refugee status and as soon as you do the PRRA, then it changes the whole outlook and that is why he had to return home.

I am thinking that if you can get your divorce and your marriage here in Canada, apply for in the inland and he should not have to go back to Jamaica. DO NOT APPLY FOR REFUGEE STATUS!!!!

If we had known then what we know now, boy things would be wayyyy different but oh well you learn from your mistakes.

HOpe that answers some questions for you. Welcome also! LOL

Chickie

 

[Jamgirl]

COngrats on the new car by the way!!!

Thanks Blondie.. actually not a car... went from an SUV to a "loser cruiser" lol... I got a minivan, and Im trying to deal with it cuz never wanted to be a bus owner lol. But we have 3 kids and plan for another so it only make sense...

Anada, wha ya deal wit? You sufferin from excessive hydration today or what????? lol

 

[Jamgirl]

ANd thank you CHickie for jumpin in there, I have no experience in havin my man in Canada so am thankful you can help!

 

[Jamgirl]

Hey Ready, Im feelin you on this... you have a great head start... you have order your notes and you have already began to brainstorm ideas of proof you will need. so....

if you feel comfortable, why don't you make an agreement with hubby to relax for the weekend and then you both start back at it again on MOnday... you could probably use the break yourself

Just a thought, hope I am helping...

 

[FaithfullyWaiting]

I guess he is stressed and trying to not deal with it at the moment. Maybe you should give him a couple days, then he will start everything and make you happy. Men do deal with things differently. I had to stress the urgency for me to get hubby to get fingerprints so that i can sen off info today for fbi clearance.

Mine says, chill, relax, dont let things stress you and then waits for me to say what we need to do next. LOLOL!

We'll get through it hun!! Through God and each other!

I'm thinking what Blondie says here is very true. Men do think very differently and handle things differently as well. I understand what you're saying though. You'd like to feel that he has the same feeling of urgency as you do and you'd like to here it in his communication that he's taking it serious. Perhaps though he does feel the same urgency...maybe he's quite confident in the situation and what he'll present at the interview. He just may not communicate it the same way as you. My thinking is that it's much more effective and efficient to keep a calm level head and try not to stress out as it can cause you to overlook things, miss important information etc... It's extremely important to present Your case properly in order to remove any doubt and you can do this best with clear and calm thinking. Being calm and level headed will convey confidence to yourself, to him and to immigration. You have just under 2 months to prepare, try not to squander any of this time with thoughts of doubt, fear or nervousness about whether or not he will pass, why even consider the possibility that he may not pass? Take your time and do everything that is within your control to prepare and come across as confident (as I understand you will be going along for support). Perhaps (and of course I’m guessing) your hubby’s approach is on the right path here. Nervousness, stress, doubts or fears will only bring up more doubts. Spend this time re-examining your initial presentation of your marriage (confidence is key and so is your presentation). You have some explaining to do about his child and his relationship with the mother and your relationship with each other so focus on how best to do it. It will be both your jobs to make the pieces fit nicely together. AAnd it's not terribly difficult to do bcause it's genuine.

As well as gathering more information also look deeply into what you presented initially, and where you might have left some loose ends untied and questions unanswered. Look for what it was about your initial presentation that did not sufficiently satisfy the question of validity?
Try not to worry too much about whether your hubby sounds urgent or not. Of course only you know him best, but if he’s like most men…they take a different approach altogether and unless you have reason to think he’s incapable of coming through with everything, he could be doing a lot of foot work in his mind alone as we speak. lol.
My hubby is very similar in his approach to things as well and at the end of it all he always knows what he’s doing even though I can’t see it or hear it on the outside.
Obviously this is just my 2.5 cents worth here. But I think you will be fine. As Charlie said others went through it and did very well. The truth always shines bright! So don’t worry too much dear….

 

[Halfmoon]

yes that ....
and we both believe that the reason we got pulled for an interview as i explained yesterday is because my stepdaughter was born during the course of our relationship
I forwared all the info that i could to him about what we need to do to prove that there was and is now not a realtioship with him and his baby mother .... and as i am talking about it to him all i can get is one word responces and yeah i will look into that baby lets talk bout something else .... don want talk bout that now and all that crap...
we can deal with that lata ... mello yuh self ....why you care what dem people think we know say our thing straight and bull*censored word* like that ......

I can see where the frustration is and I'm sure we all have experienced the same with our hubby's. What works for me and hubby when it comes to very important matters is to give him a "heads up" that we need to discuss something. I've learned that it's all about timing when it comes to dealing with mine and that he's just not wired the same way I am. So for example, we'll have our regular convo's throughout the day however if I need to talk to him about something that truly requires his full attention, I'll say to him "Hey babes, I need to talk to you about something later on this evening when you are free or come in from your day. It's about such and such or so and so. Cool?" This just lets him know he has to put the time aside to address whatever with me with no interuptions and it works everytime. He usually ends up being the one that comes to me first later that day and says "Is it a good time to talk now?" I believe that's just how they're wired. They like to do things on their terms (since they're men) and that's fine...allow them. But in the end you win and get what you want out of it because they'll give you their full undivided attention. Hope this makes sense.

If you don't mind me asking, what is the biggest hurdle to prove your situation right now? When you say over the course of your relationship, were you married during the time the baby was born? or just dating? If it's just dating then, I don't see it being too unusual. People break up on and off all the time. Just trying to understand your situation.....

 

[dawlex]

I don't see where anyone else answered you so I will try my best to help you if I can. My hubby has friends that were on the farm work program, ran off and married Canadians, they have to apply inland in order for them to stay in Canada while their process is going on. I have not heard of any of them having to return to Jamaica to finish the application. My hubbys situation is different as he was on refugee status and as soon as you do the PRRA, then it changes the whole outlook and that is why he had to return home.

I am thinking that if you can get your divorce and your marriage here in Canada, apply for in the inland and he should not have to go back to Jamaica.

TY Chickie, do you know if your hubby's friends that ran off the farm were in legal status when they got married... he also has some friends that left the farm and married Canadians and they sent in inland applications too, but their work visas were still valid when they married and applied. His visa will be almost 2 years expired by the time our application for sponsorship is sent in. Our biggest concern with applying inland is that once we send in the forms and pay the fee etc, we are basically telling immigration here he is, illegal, and btw here's our address,.. come get him. We just assumed we would have a chance to explain why it took us so long to get to the sponsorship application point.. and hope they are feeling sympathetic that day. If we knew of other illegals who had filed inland who were not sent home then we would feel better about applying inland.. the longer wait time that comes with the inland app we could deal with, but the separation right after getting married would seriously suck. As well, his passport is expired too (we will look about that soon at the JA consulate in Toronto - thx CharlieD for that info and the links!!!) so, my thinking is (and correct me if i am wrong) that if when immigration receives our application, and sees the overstay, IF they were to decide to send him home, he wouldn't even be able to leave voluntarily - they'd likely have to deport him.. making things even more complicated then.

On one hand i think, nah... they won't bother to deport him.. we've been honest and now want to make things right, plus there's costs involved to them to deport him, as well we'd be married and eventually he'd be back in Canada anyway after re-filing outland.. it would just be a waste of everyone's time/money... but on the other hand.. i am worried cuz i can never be that lucky.