IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Sohaibkq]

You would like to attend a training course. Write a letter to your company manager. In your letter, you should say:
 why you would like to attend this course?
 why it would be beneficial for you and the company?
 suggest how to arrange time for it.



Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing a letter to inform and seek your permission regarding an upcoming training course which will be conducted by Institute of Business studies, Lahore. This mini-course is co-related with my current job role and expected to assist my goals further.

Let me explain in detail. A group of managers from leading manufacturing firms will participate in the training program. Their aim is to assist young people in excelling their skills for higher managerial roles. As my current job involves managerial work, this course is going to be quite beneficial for polishing my skills further. I am quite hopeful after a week of training; I will be able to perform my job duties in a more commanding way which will eventually benefit our company.

Would you kindly allow me to join the training course, starting Monday, 24th October? For that, I will have to leave office an hour earlier than shift time. I will make sure no important tasks remain pending.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours Faithfully,
Sohaib Qureshi

 

[SPIRATY]

I got my test result, and I'm very much disappointed with it.
L-8, R-6.5, W-5.5, S-6.5 and overall - 6.5

This was the second time I took the IELTS test, and my earlier score was
L-7, R-6, W-5.5, S-7, overall-6.5

I'm so broken now, I don't know what should I do. I really don't know where I am going wrong in writing. I don't want to take the test for the 3rd time. Please help with, is there any alternative? I really can't make through it. Please help.

My other maximum scores, Reading: 9 ( in both AC & GT), Listening: 8.5 , Speaking: 7.5, in short: Reading depends on your vocabulary, Listening and Speaking is luck. I admit that my grammar is weak, at least I feel that.

 

[Gsaha]

Rate my essay please

Some people hesitate between getting a job and starting their own business. While the idea of not
having a boss and working on one’s own schedule may sound tempting, financial risks and stress
sometimes outweigh these advantages.
In your opinion what are the pros and cons of working in a company?


People often struggle to choose between getting a job and being a businessman abstain you from
working under some boss at his desired procedure, it also initiates financial uncertainties.
One of the best reasons why people choose to work for a company is the systematic or rather
disciplined lifestyle that also includes a steady and regular flow of income every month. Job also
provides opportunities to understand business, corporate culture and professionalism. This exposure
somehow tends to help to become a successful entrepreneur in the long run. Socialization is another
very important reason that helps employees to gather information of all kinds leading to knowledge
of the global market.
Etiquettes are learnt in corporate world that enhances one’s nature of dealing with any problem. To
gist it up job provides opportunity to an individual that allows a slow but steady growth as well as
teaches about numerous business strategies and etiquettes that develops one’s personality in the
future not only as an employee but also as an individual.
On the contrary, not everything comes with only advantages. Jobs in companies have various
drawbacks too. To begin with scheduled work life leads to rigidity that often clashes with our other
personal necessities. It bounds you to work under someone who might discourage you to work on
your own terms.
What’s more? Employees at a job have different work culture that not everybody can adapt. We
often come across terms like “office politics” which is similar to ragging or bullying students at
schools and colleges. Such events often leads to mental stress and disrespect for the work-place
leading to an unhealthy work life balance.
To conclude with, both jobs and business has its own pros and cons. It depends on an individual‘s
mentality, will power and knowledge in their field which in turn leads them to success.

 

[SR_T]

I would appreciate if anyone kindly evaluates my essay and gives it a probable band score. Thanks in advance

Some people say that in our modern age, it is unnecessary to teach children about the skills of handwriting.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this modern era when technology dominates everywhere, many believe that teaching a skill like handwriting to children has become redundant. I do not agree with this notion completely.

In this age, people mostly depend on computers and other handheld gadgets for accomplishing almost all activities that previously required the use of a pen and paper. As electronic devices require dexterity of fingers instead of good handwriting, spending time and other resources on improving handwriting is no more worthwhile. For example, offices all around the world have replaced handwritten documents with printed papers for the convenience they offer making the quality of handwriting of office personnel irrelevant. Furthermore, educating children on handwriting skills will only increase their burden as they are seldom required to complete school assignments in antiquated handwritten format. The dominance of technology has rendered the training on handwriting seem unnecessary.

Although people nowadays prefer typing to writing, there will always be a need to write in some fields. Despite heavy use of computers in schools, examinations still require the students to write their papers with a pencil or a pen and thus illegible writing can lead to low scores of children. Moreover, some professionals such as doctors should be cautious about their writing as prescriptions written in an untidy manner can have serious health implications on patients. To prepare children for such circumstances, it is wise to guide them to develop basic handwriting skills.

In conclusion, handwriting is a skill which is decreasing in popularity due to prevalence of other technological means; however, I believe it is still important to impart its fundamental knowledge to children.

 

[SPIRATY]

My other maximum scores, Reading: 9 ( in both AC & GT), Listening: 8.5 , Speaking: 7.5, in short: Reading depends on your vocabulary, Listening and Speaking is luck. my ip birthday wishes tnebI admit that my grammar is weak, at least I feel that.

I got my test result, and I'm very much disappointed with it.

 

[hsn005]

please evaluate my essay

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.
Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words



It is considered by some people that children can be nourished in a better way by educating them at their home, whereas there are others who believe that being taught at school is most imperative for them. In my opinion, while children learn effectively in the familiar environment of their living place, however the school structure which is specifically designed for education purpose is more advantageous for them.

One of the major advantages of home-schooling is motivating the children to learn in loving and safe environment of their residence, and the presence of their parents and siblings.
The relaxing vibes of the home develop their learning abilities and turn their young minds to seek new ideas profoundly. In Japan, the children up to the age of 5 years are only allowed for teaching at their home, rather than at educational institutes, keeping in mind the safety of their homes which ultimately boost their creativity to understand the new
educational skills.

On the other hand, getting enrolled at school at an early age and learning the essential skills in its strict but enriched surroundings has many benefits, for instance, making children focus their attention on new theories which are necessary for their growing age. The existence of highly trained teachers, examination system and competition with other children around them play an essential role in developing the interpersonal as wells as leadership skills. Take for example, It is commonly observed that the children studying at schools behave more intelligently as compared to them who study at their homes.

In conclusion, provided that keeping children close to their parents and other family members during teaching period can be polished and trained them efficiently, however, attending the schools from early childhood to receive knowledge from the expert teachers and competing with other children is more advantageous for the little children in the long run.

 

[zagcollins]

a skill which is decreasing in popularit

I would appreciate if anyone kindly evaluates my essay and gives it a probable band score. Thanks in advance

Some people say that in our modern age, it is unnecessary to teach children about the skills of handwriting.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this modern era when technology dominates everywhere, many believe that teaching a skill like handwriting to children has become redundant. I do not agree with this notion completely.

In this age, people mostly depend on computers and other handheld gadgets for accomplishing almost all activities that previously required the use of a pen and paper. As electronic devices require dexterity of fingers instead of good handwriting, spending time and other resources on improving handwriting is no more worthwhile. For example, offices all around the world have replaced handwritten documents with printed papers for the convenience they offer making the quality of handwriting of office personnel irrelevant. Furthermore, educating children on handwriting skills will only increase their burden as they are seldom required to complete school assignments in antiquated handwritten format. The dominance of technology has rendered the training on handwriting seem unnecessary.

Although people nowadays prefer typing to writing, there will always be a need to write in some fields. Despite heavy use of computers in schools, examinations still require the students to write their papers with a pencil or a pen and thus illegible writing can lead to low scores of children. Moreover, some professionals such as doctors should be cautious about their writing as prescriptions written in an untidy manner can have serious health implications on patients. To prepare children for such circumstances, it is wise to guide them to develop basic handwriting skills.

In conclusion, handwriting is a skill which is decreasing in popularity due to prevalence of other technological means; however, I believe it is still important to impart its fundamental knowledge to children.

Very good. I would rate it 7.5 because it is easy to understand, well structured, and includes appropriate discourse markers. Why 7.5 and not more? I feel like the writer of this essay has taken a lot of effort to construct complex sentences that in essence are simple ideas.

Example: 'The dominance of technology has rendered the training on handwriting seem unnecessary.'
How it could have been written: 'Overall, technology has reduced the importance of handwriting'

While you may disagree with my feedback (Writing is a case of each to his own), keeping it simple ensures that the reader understands everything at one go and does not have to read it again. Additionally, it demonstrates clarity of expression.

 

[SR_T]

Very good. I would rate it 7.5 because it is easy to understand, well structured, and includes appropriate discourse markers. Why 7.5 and not more? I feel like the writer of this essay has taken a lot of effort to construct complex sentences that in essence are simple ideas.

Example: 'The dominance of technology has rendered the training on handwriting seem unnecessary.'
How it could have been written: 'Overall, technology has reduced the importance of handwriting'

While you may disagree with my feedback (Writing is a case of each to his own), keeping it simple ensures that the reader understands everything at one go and does not have to read it again. Additionally, it demonstrates clarity of expression.

Hey thank you so much. I really appreciate your feedback.

 

[Sohaibkq]

Test on 27th Oct, Please review my essay:

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other thing in life can make people happy?


Since of inception of life, humans have been struggling to find ways to be content. Some people are of an opinion that having plenty of money will directly contribute to happiness in life. This essay will outline why having money will secure happiness and what other thing can assist happiness in life.

Nowadays, every essential segment of life is directly connected with money. No matter where we go, having adequate money provides a sense of relief and security. Every essential commodity comes with its price tag, which is difficult to replace without money. For example, a survey conducted in London magazine on girls concluded that 70 percent of their happiness comes after shopping as it uplifts their mood. For that reason, it is quite evident that money secures happiness in life.

Secondly becoming happy is a variable factor that depends on plenty of other things, including spending time with loved ones. Being together with family and friends provides a sense of relief, decreases fatigue, and ultimately the level of happiness rises. For example, a survey conducted on people’s living preferences in the Economist magazine concluded 80 percent are favor of living with family. Being together with people strengthens the bonding of affection which is an integral factor in happiness.

The essay discussed how having adequate money helps in making life easier and improves the level of happiness. However, for complete happiness, affection and having company of friends and family is needed as well as they are the ones who provide support for every unfortunate situation.

 

[John Immanuel]

Test on 27th Oct, Please review my essay:

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other thing in life can make people happy?


Since of inception of life, humans have been struggling to find ways to be content. Some people are of an opinion that having plenty of money will directly contribute to happiness in life. This essay will outline why having money will secure happiness and what other thing can assist happiness in life.

Nowadays, every essential segment of life is directly connected with money. No matter where we go, having adequate money provides a sense of relief and security. Every essential commodity comes with its price tag, which is difficult to replace without money. For example, a survey conducted in London magazine on girls concluded that 70 percent of their happiness comes after shopping as it uplifts their mood. For that reason, it is quite evident that money secures happiness in life.

Secondly becoming happy is a variable factor that depends on plenty of other things, including spending time with loved ones. Being together with family and friends provides a sense of relief, decreases fatigue, and ultimately the level of happiness rises. For example, a survey conducted on people’s living preferences in the Economist magazine concluded 80 percent are favor of living with family. Being together with people strengthens the bonding of affection which is an integral factor in happiness.

The essay discussed how having adequate money helps in making life easier and improves the level of happiness. However, for complete happiness, affection and having company of friends and family is needed as well as they are the ones who provide support for every unfortunate situation.

Good one, but needs improvement in grammatical section
Example: You started the fourth paragraph with secondly, whereas there is no instance of firstly, Here is how to use secondly in a sentence. He has fulfilled two of his dreams, firstly overcoming his stammer and secondly helping others. And, secondly, the work they do with them while they are in custody is doing very little to straighten them out once they re-emerge.

 

[Sohaibkq]

Good one, but needs improvement in grammatical section
Example: You started the fourth paragraph with secondly, whereas there is no instance of firstly, Here is how to use secondly in a sentence. He has fulfilled two of his dreams, firstly overcoming his stammer and secondly helping others. And, secondly, the work they do with them while they are in custody is doing very little to straighten them out once they re-emerge.

Thanks. Any other improvement for Band 7?

 

[Mr. Khan]

I got my test result, and I'm very much disappointed with it.
L-8, R-6.5, W-5.5, S-6.5 and overall - 6.5

This was the second time I took the IELTS test, and my earlier score was
L-7, R-6, W-5.5, S-7, overall-6.5

I'm so broken now, I don't know what should I do. I really don't know where I am going wrong in writing. I don't want to take the test for the 3rd time. Please help with, is there any alternative? I really can't make through it. Please help.

 

[Sohaibkq]

Exam on 27th Oct, Please review

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In today’s high paced global world, work pressure has risen. For that reason, the tendency of working late hours has increased in organizations, sparing little time for relaxing activities. I believe this situation in the long run has more demerits than merits.

On the one hand, competitiveness in the working environment is insisting people to work for more than regular working hours. The main reason behind this is that company goals are at times unrealistically high, putting more pressure on employees, and eventually they become bound. This occupied situation leaves less time for leisure activities, and as a result, mental and physical health detreats. For example, a survey carried out in New York Magazine on obesity concluded that around 70% of obesity comes from desk jobs. For that reason, working long hours has more negative impacts than positive ones.

One the other hand, working long hours makes people workaholic. The more they work, the higher reputation they are able to achieve in organizations. Normally, management appreciates the people who go an extra mile for their assigned duties. For example, a private company conducted survey on promotions in last quarter concluded that 70% of the people promoted were working for longer hours. The higher focus towards work is indeed vital for professional growth.

To conclude, work-life balance is getting hampered in today’s competitive world. Many people bound themselves in offices for early completion of their work. This leads to their low physical and mental health. A balance should be maintained for a positive lifestyle.

 

[John Immanuel]

On the one hand

On the other hand

For that reason

For this reason

The more they work, the higher reputation they are able to achieve in organizations.

This sentence can be better framed
Overall good, you'll probably get around W-7 if this was in real IELTS Exam

 

[SR_T]

Exam on 27th Oct, Please review

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In today’s high paced global world, work pressure has risen. For that reason, the tendency of working late hours has increased in organizations, sparing little time for relaxing activities. I believe this situation in the long run has more demerits than merits.

On the one hand, competitiveness in the working environment is insisting people to work for more than regular working hours. The main reason behind this is that company goals are at times unrealistically high, putting more pressure on employees, and eventually they become bound. This occupied situation leaves less time for leisure activities, and as a result, mental and physical health detreats. For example, a survey carried out in New York Magazine on obesity concluded that around 70% of obesity comes from desk jobs. For that reason, working long hours has more negative impacts than positive ones.

One the other hand, working long hours makes people workaholic. The more they work, the higher reputation they are able to achieve in organizations. Normally, management appreciates the people who go an extra mile for their assigned duties. For example, a private company conducted survey on promotions in last quarter concluded that 70% of the people promoted were working for longer hours. The higher focus towards work is indeed vital for professional growth.

To conclude, work-life balance is getting hampered in today’s competitive world. Many people bound themselves in offices for early completion of their work. This leads to their low physical and mental health. A balance should be maintained for a positive lifestyle.

Hi,

I have a few observations which I think will be helpful for you.

First of all, please focus on the question and notice that the question asks for advantages and disadvantages. You have talked about one disadvantage i.e. deteriorating health and one advantage i.e. professional growth. What this means is that you have not responded to the task completely.

Secondly, the conclusion does not answer the question whether there are more advantages or more disadvantages. It simply states what should be done- a new suggestion/idea. Because of this reason, your essay will get lower marks in cohesion and coherence as well as in task response.

Please also note that your first example is not completely relevant.

Example: around 70% of obesity comes from desk jobs
You are talking about desk jobs but not long hours. It is not necessary that all desk job holders spend long hours and only desk job holders are doing long hours.
You may reword the same example by saying: 70% white collar employees who work for more than 8 hours suffer from obesity.

I reckon this writing will get a 6 or 6.5. But this is just my personal opinion. If you tweak the writing a little then you can score more. All the best