IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[nthalork]

Here is my version of the story on the same topic. It seems I lost direction in the end. I am also one of those unlucky peoples who are aspiring to achieve a golden score of band 7 in IELTS writing section, 6.5 fourth time in a row. Seems, there is something which I missed in all four attempts but not able to figure out what is that?

Rich countries should not employ skilled labor from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that trained workers from destitute nations should not be recruited by the affluent nations as these impoverished states require these peoples more. I disagree with this statement as I believe that controlled recruitment of nationals of these underprivileged nations can be a win-win situation for both the countries.

Recruitment of educated unemployed immigrants from penurious countries in a controlled manner is good for poor countries as it not only gives employment to its citizens and but also brings in money in the form of inward remittances. Developing countries like India and China are abundant in human resources where millions of people are unemployed while developed nation such as the United States of America and Japan are opulently wealthy and need a workforce for the industries. In this way, both these nations complement each other in capital and labor.

Another advantage of an approach in which developing nations retain critical workers for their economy and have a strategic tie-up with developed nations to train and employ their citizens, who will ultimately turn into a productive citizen who while working overseas send home money and on return, they shall bring in necessary skill set to help develop their home nations. For example, unemployed skilled IT graduates from India relocated to the United States for employment purposes in the late 90s and later many of them moved back to India after gaining expertise and skills to set up successful mega ventures such as Flipkart, Ola, and Snapdeal.

To recapitulate, recruiting skilled professionals by rich nations from resource-poor countries in a supervised should be encouraged for the benefit of both nations especially of poor countries.

 

[haris_rasheed]

Just wanted to ask in the opinion based essay, the question usually states that explain both views and write your opinion. Do we have to make another body paragraph to write the opinion or we can give our opinion in intro and conclusion?

ive been checking this with some teachers and i dont get a generic answer, everyone has his own POV.

 

[cansha]

Just wanted to ask in the opinion based essay, the question usually states that explain both views and write your opinion. Do we have to make another body paragraph to write the opinion or we can give our opinion in intro and conclusion?

ive been checking this with some teachers and i dont get a generic answer, everyone has his own POV.

Essays are subjective and hence everyone has their own opinion. So there is no one right answer here.

But, if you’re not a very confident writer I would say avoid third paragraph as much as possible. One extra paragraph means more chances of mistakes.

Personally, I gave little glimpse of both views in introduction as well as which view I agree with more I.e my opinion.

Then in BP1 discuss the view you don’t agree with and use the last line to Segway into BP3 saying that this view has some deficiencies which can be overcome in other view.

Then use BP2 to discuss and solidify your opinion. Conclusion is like any other essay summarizing main points and restating your opinion.

 

[cansha]

I know there are many essays pending for reviews. I would review them today and tomorrow.

 

[U.F]

Hi members! Can an expert member evaluate this letter for me?

You and your family have just rented an apartment and one or two problems occurred. Write a letter to the landlord. Describe the problems and tell him what you want him to do.

Dear Mr. XX,
I have recently rented an apartment from you situated at YY Avenue. My family and I are having a few problems with the apartment and I would like to draw your attention towards them so we may have a speedy resolution.
Firstly, the water pipeline below the kitchen sink has a leakage. Whenever we turn on the tap, the water starts sprinkling from a joint in the pipe and towards the user, thereby rendering the sink unusable. It would be great if you would immediately send a plumber here as this is causing us utmost hardship in day-to-day affairs.
Secondly, I have found termites in the wall-fitted cupboard of the master bedroom. I am constrained to keep this room empty as moving my wooden furniture in the room would cause the termites to destroy it. Therefore, I urge you to arrange exterminators to visit the apartment at the earliest.
Considering the above-mentioned problems, the apartment is almost unusable and requires your immediate attention, as being the landlord, it is your responsibility to maintain the apartment in livable conditions at all times.
Regards,
ZZ

 

[U.F]

Ok guys this is my first attempt at Writing Task 1. Can someone please review it?
Write a letter to your English-speaking friend who is visiting you soon and asking you what presents your family would like. Write
-Who your family consists of
-What kind of presents each member would like.
-How you feel about your friend coming to visit

Dear X,
I am delighted to know that you are going to visit us soon. It is very considerate of you to bring presents. I will suggest you not to stress too much over it as your own presence will be exciting enough for my family and me.
I live with my parents and two brothers, A and B. In case you feel much inclined to bring presents, I should let you know that my parents love to keep a collection of different cultural artifacts so you can bring something traditional representing your culture. My brothers are little kids; hence some chocolates will do.
I have told my family a lot of stories about you, and they are all keen to meet you in person. I personally keep reminiscing the good old days spent with you at the university and can’t wait to see you again after such a long time.
All the best for your journey!
Sincerely,
Z

 

[nthalork]

You did a one day course in a local college, but you were unhappy about it, write a letter to the principal of the college and in your letter write
-details about the course
-Why are you unhappy?
-Give some suggestions


Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction about your one-day barista course I have attended at your college last Monday.

The brochure of the institute has claimed that this one-day session is sufficient to teach anyone eight different types of coffees including latte, espresso, and cappuccino. It was also mentioned that practical training would be given in a state of the art cafe.

Unfortunately, I was surprised to find out that there was no practical training instead of that only the demonstration was given by the instructor, who was also relatively inexperienced as he only read out most things from slides. On the top of this, I was not given access to complaint/suggestion book.

Since, the content and delivery of the course was not as mentioned in the pamphlet and there was no in-hand training, I request you to issue me a full refund. Also, I would suggest you not to hold training sessions, if the cafe is not available as theoretical classes hardly help and this can be taken online at no cost.

I look forward to receiving your favorable response.

Yours sincerely,

Naresh Kumar

 

[nthalork]

Some people think that new technology always improves the lives of workers. Other people believe that it results in disadvantageous for workers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is sometimes believed that the latest technological developments invariably make employees life simple, while others opine that it is detrimental for them. I personally believe that it is advantageous for a large section of workers.

On the one hand, some argue that technology brings in adversities for the employees. For instance, robots are taking away the jobs of humans and making their life more troublesome rather than making it easy. This way technology instead of supplementing the efforts of workers it is working as their competitors and making their life hell difficult as these machines can beat humans in speed and accuracy.

One the other hand, many consider that latest technology smoothens the working of employees. For example, the innovation of computer worked as a boon for the accountants, it has oversimplified the process of data collection, retrieval and analysis to a great extent and, nowadays, one cannot think routine work on this job without the help of a computer. These way technologies simplify the work of the staff members.

Personally, I believe that while technology many sometimes harm workers interest, but it mostly helps them to do work efficiently and effectively. To illustrate, tunnel-digging was once considered a very laborious task but, nowadays, this can be done effortlessly while sitting in an air-conditioned chamber with the help of the latest technology such as automation and robotics.

To conclude, although many consider that technology always works as a boon for the workforce, others consider this as a troublemaker for the workers. I personally feel that while it has some negatives, it mostly ameliorates the worker's situation.

 

[Chaoticbeauty123]

I scored a band 7 in academic writing. Didn't have time for proof-reading, which is super important. Certainly could have scored more. It isn't difficult, we just need to be organised. I did a lot of practice with writing9.com.
Try to vary the linking words and throw in some good vocabulary terms, in place of regular words, after you've finished writing. Besides, you won't have time to count your words so have a mental count of the number of lines you need to write and organise your writing, accordingly. Make sure that both your body paragraphs don't have a massive difference in their lengths. Also, spend enough time with the task 1. Time management is the key. Good luck!

 

[Chaoticbeauty123]

[

Here is my version of the story on the same topic. It seems I lost direction in the end. I am also one of those unlucky peoples who are aspiring to achieve a golden score of band 7 in IELTS writing section, 6.5 fourth time in a row. Seems, there is something which I missed in all four attempts but not able to figure out what is that?

Rich countries should not employ skilled labor from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that trained workers from destitute nations should not be recruited by the affluent nations as these impoverished states require these peoples more. I disagree with this statement as I believe that controlled recruitment of nationals of these underprivileged nations can be a win-win situation for both the countries.

Recruitment of educated unemployed immigrants from penurious countries in a controlled manner is good for poor countries as it not only gives employment to its citizens and but also brings in money in the form of inward remittances. Developing countries like India and China are abundant in human resources where millions of people are unemployed while developed nation such as the United States of America and Japan are opulently wealthy and need a workforce for the industries. In this way, both these nations complement each other in capital and labor.

Another advantage of an approach in which developing nations retain critical workers for their economy and have a strategic tie-up with developed nations to train and employ their citizens, who will ultimately turn into a productive citizen who while working overseas send home money and on return, they shall bring in necessary skill set to help develop their home nations. For example, unemployed skilled IT graduates from India relocated to the United States for employment purposes in the late 90s and later many of them moved back to India after gaining expertise and skills to set up successful mega ventures such as Flipkart, Ola, and Snapdeal.

To recapitulate, recruiting skilled professionals by rich nations from resource-poor countries in a supervised should be encouraged for the benefit of both nations especially of poor countries.

It is okay to repeat a few words from the question because when you're trying so hard to paraphrase everything, it may seem too pretentious and unsuited in the specific context. There should be more usage of the linkers. In paragraph 2, the first sentence lacks a direction as it lacks the main verb. When you're writing super long sentences, that is a very plausible risk. So, a good strategy is to limit your words in a sentence to about 15. If you can make such amendments, you can surely push higher. Good luck!

 

[Chaoticbeauty123]

In

Some people think that new technology always improves the lives of workers. Other people believe that it results in disadvantageous for workers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is sometimes believed that the latest technological developments invariably make employees life simple, while others opine that it is detrimental for them. I personally believe that both positives and negatives for the staffs.

On the one hand, some argue that technology brings in adversities for the employees. For instance, robots are taking away the jobs of humans and making their life more troublesome rather than making it easy. This way technology instead of supplementing the efforts of workers it is working as their competitors and making their life hell difficult as these machines can beat humans in speed and accuracy.

One the other hand, many consider that latest technology smoothens the working of employees. For example, the innovation of computer worked as a boon for the accountants, it has oversimplified the process of data collection, retrieval and analysis to a great extent and, nowadays, one cannot think routine work on this job without the help of a computer. These way technologies simplify the work of the staff members.

Personally, I believe that while technology many sometimes harm workers interest, but it mostly helps them to do work efficiently and effectively. To illustrate, tunnel-digging was once considered a very laborious task but, nowadays, this can be done effortlessly while sitting in an air-conditioned chamber with the help of the latest technology such as automation and robotics.

To conclude, although many consider that technology always works as a boon for the workforce, others consider this as a troublemaker for the workers. I personally feel that while it has some negatives, it mostly ameliorates the worker's situation.

In the intro, you started with passive but you switched on to active in the next part of the sentence. There are punctuation errors as no apostrophes are used to indicate possession. 'Hell difficult' can't be used in formal writing, collocations should be handled with caution. Some errors in subject-verb agreements are also present. Moreover, the usage of complex terminologies isn't very accurate. Ideas are presented and explained clearly. If you can overcome those limitations with sufficient practice, you can score a good band. All the best!

 

[nthalork]

You are studying for a qualification (, and you would like some time off work to complete it.


Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
· Ask for some time off to complete a qualification.
· Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off.
· Say how the qualification helps your job or company.



Dear Julia,

I am writing to request a week’s off from work to prepare for Certified Financial Advisor exam.

On your advice, last month, I have registered for this certificate programme from Indian Institute of Banking and Finance. The exam would be conducted on 7th of Septermber; therefore, I request you to allow me seven days from 01st to 7th September so that I can prepare for this exam.

Although a few applications are pending for renewal in the first week of September, Mr Mathew, my colleague has agreed to look after these applications in the meantime. On return from leaves, I will work overtime during weekdays and weekends to cover up the pending tasks and make sure by following week everything is in order.

This qualification will enable me to cross-sell third party products such as Mutual Funds, Insurance to our HNI customers. This will not only help the bank fetch additional noninterest income but also increase our product penetration; multiple relationships means that their likelihood to remain with bank increases.

I look forward to receiving your favourable response.

Yours sincerely,

Mathew Heyden

 

[nthalork]

[


It is okay to repeat a few words from the question because when you're trying so hard to paraphrase everything, it may seem too pretentious and unsuited in the specific context. There should be more usage of the linkers. In paragraph 2, the first sentence lacks a direction as it lacks the main verb. When you're writing super long sentences, that is a very plausible risk. So, a good strategy is to limit your words in a sentence to about 15. If you can make such amendments, you can surely push higher. Good luck!

Thanks for reading and pointing out the flaws in the essay. I certainly need to incorporate more linkers to improve the flow of essay and will work on your suggestions in future writeups.

 

[can_da]

Greetings,
Can someone please review my below essay, will appreciate that.
Many thanks in advance!

Some people think that government should spend money on faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities of public transport (eg: cost and environment) Discuss both views and give your opinion

People have different views about whether authorities should spend more on making the commute faster by bringing in high speed transport system or consider a cost effective and environment friendly transportation. In my opinion, the later proposition merits serious consideration.

There are some logical arguments that people in favor of fast paced transport present. The most preponderant one is that having high velocity commute system will save numbers of hours that are spent on daily travel. This will not only set people free to use those particular hours in a much more productive work but will also bring mental peace which is not achievable otherwise because of hazardous nature of travel. Besides, more cramped destinations will benefit more when more number of people will be commuting in a day by the virtue of high speed transport system.

However, there are some pitfalls too that can easily overwhelm aforementioned reasons to support faster transportation. The primary one stems from the fact that such advanced systems always come at a huge cost which eventually falls heavy on consumers’ pocket. Keeping this implication in view, government should instead invest more on cost effective and comfortable public transport which will offer general public some savings on one hand and luxury on the other hand. Another thing to consider while upgrading public transport is to make sure to develop environment friendly system that does not emit poisonous gases which pollute the air and deteriorate ozone layer. Needless to say, all these considerations stand cost effective and environment friendly transport system in good stead as far as public interest is concerned.

To conclude, while high speed public transport saves time of masses but bringing in a low cost and eco friendly transport facilities are need of the hour.

 

[rer1]

@cansha, I wish to share another essay with you, thank you in advance.


Some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?


Many people argue that accomplishments in sports branches come with the natural born abilities, and others believe that practising and being hardworking are the most significant elements to become successful at a sport. In my opinion, even though, talent, which enables people to have better coordination of their organs, consists a vital part for the success, it is not sufficient unless it is mixed with hard work which ensures sportspeople to have sustainable achievements.


First and foremost, natural abilities, especially the consistency between the body parts, allow the individuals to have superiority among others in sports. This is because success at a sport comes with the dominance of an individual over his/her opponent, hence it can be achieved with quick body movements, such as kicking a ball with agility or passing to the team member rapidly. To this end, these features play a tremendous part in the achievements in sports branches. To illustrate, Brazilian people tend to play football in a better sense than other nations, thus they have won the most Fifa World Cup titles in men’s branch with their durability, agile fundamentals and they have perfect leg and foot coordination which are all key for the success in football. However, these qualifications are not enough to become successful at sports since sportspeople should combine their discipline and hard work with their talent in order to become victorious. Consequently, even though talent gives clear advantages to the sportspeople, sustainable accomplishments in sports activities come with practising and working hard.


On the other hand, practising in a subject regularly makes people to do it perfect. Considering this, training for the sport, being disciplined while getting ready for the match and staying persistent for the objectives create perfect results at sports. Nevertheless, having a talent for the subject could boost the success but it is not totally compulsory. For instance, Michael Jordan, who is the most admired basketball player in the world, was not accepted to the high school basketball team due to his short height and not having talent. After a while, he practised abundantly every day and combined his genetic, naturally born, advantages such as having a high stamina and swiftness with his hard work which paid off as he became the most successful basketball player on earth. As a result, working continuously with focusing on the targets results in victory in sports, however, the effects of talent should not be neglected.


To sum up, people can be successful at sports if they put their hard work and persistency on the table, though natural ability is clearly a positive matter that aids people to become successful.