Help!! We're NEW!

[Dee_48]

We are new to this! We really don't have a clue what we're doing. We have been dating online for 3+ years. We have not met in person. He lives in Scotland. I live in Canada.
Our plan is for him to come over and start living together, taking in our bills, car, house as a collective venture and then get married. (We have to prove our relationship, so although we've not met our family can vouch for that part.) We have sent many gifts to each other but didn't think to keep packaging. We also have had thousands of emails, but didn't think to keep all of those either. The only thing we have for proof of our relationship, as it is today, is our family's. There has been exchange of money, again we didnt think to keep receipts (again, not knowing what was expected). We can however get confirmation from family that gifts have indeed been sent.
What we would like to know is this:

1. How long he can stay here in Canada, and how long the application for an extention is likely to be as we have to prove were living together for a year?

2. Would it be better to marry or common law?

3. Whats the best and quickest way now to apply? Marriage has been talked about and both agree were commited enough to go through that process. How long can he stay in Canada while waiting on Immigration going through?

4. He has applied for the Skilled Workers Program, due to health problems not related to Immigration Law, we now have to change the application but we're not sure which application to now apply under?

5. Because he's been waiting on the Skilled Workers Program to come through, will that have any clout or help speed up a new application?

6. Do I have to prove I can support him if he's self supportive? He is able to support myself and my granddaughter.

7. When we get married, and we ask for the extension, (he'll already be here six months) will he be sent back home during the time we wait for a reply on the extension? (we have to prove we've been living together for a year and the only way is an extension.)

8. Typically how long is an extension?

Any and all responses will be greatly received and appreciated. We are very confused about Immigration, but not about our relationship. We have looked up, on the net, information on the CIC site, and we have talked with friends, acquaintances, etc. and we're still confused. Information we have gathered is conflicting at best.

 

[vinz]

you can visit the cic website for your queries.

www.cic.gc.ca

find it out laso if Scotland people don't need to file visa in going to visit you there.

 

[Dee_48]

We have been to the CIC site. Although it may be helpful to some, it's not relationship specific. We have specific questions that need to be answered before we can come up with a plan. If anyone out there (in this forum) can answer us specifically (if you've had any of the experiences mentioned in our post, please feel free to respond.

 

[Algerina]

I am by no means an expert, but I think that immigration would look closely at this relationship. You have never met in person and are about to get married. Why have you not met before in 3+ years? Neither of you requires a visa to visit each others country, there is nothing to prevent you meeting. The only proof of your relationship is the word of family and friends, I would be very surprised if immigration considered this to be enough.

I know better than anyone how hard it is to support a long distance relationship. I am the single mother of 2 girls, I do not have a high paid job and still I have managed to see my husband in Algeria twice this year. Where there is a will there is a way.

I suggest that you start to keep all your chat logs, phone bills, reciepts, everything that you can to prove this relation. Go and truly meet each other and spend real time together, many times love does not cross the boundaries of online so well.

I would not rush into applying for immigration yet. Take your time, create a strong file and then when you are sure that you have a great case, then apply. Our file was 400+ pages, so that gives you an idea.

Good luck to you.

 

[Dee_48]

We appreciate the response. My boyfriend can't leave his home country due to illness and being off work. He's been off work for a year and a half and is waiting for his work to retire him (which will be before the New Year). I, also, am raising my granddaughter and cannot leave the country with her (I wont go anywhere without her and her Dad wont allow it). We spend endless hours daily talking and on cam. He is a huge part of my daily routine, and can see everything that happens. (We spend more time together as a family than most who are physically together). We were to spend time together this month, for a month, but circumstances have always been a deterrant; my granddaughter's father, my boyfriends' illness, and being off of work along with he's scared of one of my cats...lol He is financially stable, but just can't leave his country right now. Things haven't been easy for us, but three years going, and we're still here daily for hours. My granddaughter loves him dearly, and he's a huge part of her life as well.
I am happy for you that you can see your husband twice a year. We'd be happy with just one day right now.
We will, in fact, be keeping everything that we can as proof of our relationship. Of course hindsight, such as it is, could have helped us with the amount of emails we've sent over the years, however we do have an extensive collection of greeting cards in email. So right now we're concentrating our efforts on "proof", and once the New Year comes in, we'll be looking at him coming for an "extended visit".

 

[mitamata]

He's allowed to come to Canada for 6 month. However, the immigration officer at the airport can still deny him entry if he suspects he doesn't intend to leave after the said 6 months - which could happen if your boyfriend shows up and says he's moving to Canada. Usually having a return ticket is enough to not get many questions, but if the questions start, then he would have to convince the officer that he will be returning - with evidence of owning/renting a home back home, having a job there etc. Anything that shows he has ties with his home country.
After he gets in, you should appy for an extension to his visitor's status before the 6 months are up. When you apply, he will have implied status and will not have to leave until/unless he received a rejection on the extension. I believe they usually give a 3 or 6 month extension.

And on a more personal note... you haven't met him in person yet. I can tell you from personal experience that who someone is online can be very different from who they are in person. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but there is a difference. I would strongly recommend spending some time with him in person before commiting to a marriage and I don't mean just for CIC's sake. I know you can find out a lot about a person online, especially if you spend much time together, but you'll still learn a lot of new things when you get to spend time with him for real.

I would say marrying is "better" though as it means you don't have to prove as much - you still need to prove your relationship is genuine, but the marriage certificate is enough to establish he's qualifies as a family class member. Though normally, the processing times between spousal and common-law applications don't really differ much.

When applying, you don't have to prove you can support him, but in order to qualify as a sponsor you have to not be on social assistance or bankrupt.

As for the Skilled worker application - as far as I know, that can't be changed. You will have to withdraw it and file a new one, either as a family class member (your spouse or common-law partner) or another type. The fact he had the skilled worker application in process will not help speed up the new application - if anything, it might delay it because they could think that he only married you because the previous application didn't get approved. Though hopefully not.

 

[mud504@yahoo]

And on a more personal note... you haven't met him in person yet. I can tell you from personal experience that who someone is online can be very different from who they are in person. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but there is a difference. I would strongly recommend spending some time with him in person before commiting to a marriage and I don't mean just for CIC's sake. I know you can find out a lot about a person online, especially if you spend much time together, but you'll still learn a lot of new things when you get to spend time with him for real.

Very much agreed. I too am in long distant internet based relationship. We met online almost 5 years ago in 2004. We first met after two years of talking and continued to take as many trips as we could afford since then, 3 or 4 times a year. When just visiting him for the first time in person I had trouble getting through customs. Although I did eventually make it through I don't know how willing CIC will be to let him move there without previously meeting. I would hope that they would understand your situation, but it's all based on chance depending what IO gets your file. And even after being in a relationship with my now husband for 5 years there are still things that I'm learning about him. Before we met in person I was saying some of the same things that you were Dee. I thought talking constantly 24/7 online gave me grounds to say that I truly knew him. But there are things that I learn about him, given so far their small things, that I would never know without spending time with him in person.

 

[Tara_W]

Not to throw a complete dampener on your enthusiasm, but if you're not married, you'd be applying under the conjugal partner umbrella, which I believe is very difficult to get approved, particularly when there is no real barrier, political, cultural or otherwise, your getting married.

To apply under common-law, you need to be able to prove without a doubt that your relationship is genuine and back up with evidence that you've lived together for at least a year, combing your affairs as much as possible.

Then there's also the question of undergoing the medical, which given the information you've posted here, might be tricky.

All the same, best of luck whatever you decide.

Tara

 

[Leon]

If he comes to visit you, he will most likely get a 6 month visa as long as they believe he is not planning to overstay that. After 5 months, he can send in an application to extend his visa another 6 months but it's not guaranteed to be granted. I think what you should do is if it's working out for you after living together for 5 months, get married and apply as a married couple. That way, you are not stuck waiting to qualify as common law. You should start keeping records regarding your communication and relationship now because whether you apply as a married couple or as common law, you still will need to prove that your relationship is real.

 

[kessa]

When I was interviewed 2 weeks ago, the immigration officer told me that the fact my husband visited me first means a big thing for my application.That is the first she said to us when she approved my application.
I know things will be good between you and your boyfriend. Still, we can't deny that it would be different if we talk and touch the person than to watch via cam.We will know only if the feeling is the same when we will be with that person in person.

Kessa

 

[Cdnshaz]

I'm a bit confused, you say he is ill and cannot travel to Canada now but financial stable, is this right?

So how can he go to Canada for 6 months if he is that ill?

Others are right CIC are not going to believe friends and families, put yourself in their shoes...think about it.

You can't come to UK b/c of grand daughter, you look after her but do not have custody? If you have custody don't think he can stop you, if you don't, why can't he look after her so you can come here?

If you really wanted to meet him after 3 yrs, I truly believe you would have made an effort before now, and find it hard to believe that there isn't a way. I met my husband online so I do know what I am talking about, and we flew back and forth for 2 yrs or more before I came to UK. We also had very difficult situation, but we made it work...

 

[Dee_48]

Just to answer a few responses:

He is ill due to an illness and cannot work because of it (complications from Lupus...* not life threatening nor a threat to anyone else). He's on sick benefits right now, and has been for a year and a half. He is looking at retirement which will take him off of his sick benefits from work. (When one is sick from work, it isn't practical to travel...they can then cut you off of your benefits). He has a home which holds collateral, plus he has savings and a pension.
We are not going to marry right away. He's not going to land and we're going to be off to the Justice of the Peace the next day. I am 48, he is 47. We've been through a marriage on both sides. We're well aware of how relationships are built and the adapting both parties have to compromise on. We're not in our twenties anymore. We're also aware that being in an online relationship for three years, or three months is different from that of a relationship in person on a daily basis.
My granddaughters' father and I are in a joint custody situation so I have to get his permission to take my granddaughter out of the province, nevermind the country. I am not willing to leave her with him for any period of time except a day or two on the weekends, and her mother isn't capable. I started raising her just after my boyfriend and I met.
We started this post to get information. We're, right now, on a gathering information expedition AND proof of our relationship. We were not aware of a lot of things that have been said through this forum, so the information that keeps coming in is very helpful.

 

[mud504@yahoo]

6. Do I have to prove I can support him if he's self supportive? He is able to support myself and my granddaughter.

For this, if you are going apply as spousal sponsor there is no minimum income requirement, although you will have 2 send in some income information with the application

 

[Cdnshaz]

I have had lupus for nearly 20 yrs, some days are better then others, I work....no sick benefits..(am not in anyway down playing his sickness)
He will need to pass a physical, and lupus can and is a debilitating dz....I am no expert but this might go against you.

It is unfortunate that the childs father won't give permission even for short visit, my dil went thru same thing last year, my step grand daughter and my grand daughter and mom and dad were due to come for xmas...flights booked, passports obtained....childs dad said NO....she went to court and judge said to the father, grow up and let her go....judge MADE HIM let her go..said it would be an excellent opportunity for any child....when he tried to object, she told him to "shut up an grow up"

 

[Leon]

As a spouse being sponsored, he would be exempt from the "undue stress on Canada's healthcare" criteria so it would not be a problem.