Baby Boom...!

[cartonkay]

as long as this forum is concerned (Canadavisa/immigration forum).....my question is relevant!


@Abdul Hannan....you have expressed absolute hippocracy in your varied opinions...from what I have seen on TV, hipocrates like you get their throats slit in your own country.....better watch out before you end up like a sacrificial lamb.

@ hopefulagain et all....

1. this forum is a FOCUS GROUP on immigration, it is therefore nosy of you to consider how responsible I feel or not for my actions...I call that gossip......it is not your business what-so-ever if I am responsible or not.

2. if I wanted to clarify my position on responsibilities for both woman and unborn, that will be on another forum, maybe one that has something to do with "fathers to be".

3. if you know your comments on my question has nothing to do with purpose of this focus group, please keep off!

4. @ hopefulagain; if you are STUP*D enough to assume full responsibility and commitment right from the onset without any evidence that you are biological father, then I piety your sorrow a*s....unlike you, I would rather be patient and wait till all facts are established, then I harvest the fruit of my actions.

5 @ hopefulagain; I am surprised to see the number of posts you have here, it makes me wonder if you are always off-topic and defying the very purpose of this forum.....if administration is observing, then I suggest GOSSIP's like you be removed from forum.

6. @hopefulgain; you are such an interesting chap....the fact that someone COULD be pulling a scam on you does not mean you should rebel instantly....I reiterate, I do care for both woman and unborn. care need not necessarily be enough....until facts established.

7 @hopefulagain; I do not need to ask how to figure out how the child is mine or not.....its simple as 1-2-pee
again, that will be an irrelevant question to this forum......check yourself and make sure you are in line...STU !

 

[Hopefulagain]

as long as this forum is concerned (Canadavisa/immigration forum).....my question is relevant!


@ Abdul Hannan....you have expressed absolute hippocracy in your varied opinions...from what I have seen on TV, hipocrates like you get their throats slit in your own country.....better watch out before you end up like a sacrificial lamb.

I find abdul's comments despicable but I did not fall to this level or tried to threaten him. After reading the above nonsense that u have written, I am absolutely convinced of your low standards.

@ hopefulagain et all....

1. this forum is a FOCUS GROUP on immigration, it is therefore nosy of you to consider how responsible I feel or not for my actions...I call that gossip......it is not your business what-so-ever if I am responsible or not.

2. if I wanted to clarify my position on responsibilities for both woman and unborn, that will be on another forum, maybe one that has something to do with "fathers to be".

Your position on responsibilities is crystal clear ---- you dont have any

3. if you know your comments on my question has nothing to do with purpose of this focus group, please keep off!


Well, I was talking to abdul and singh NOT you. You should not have tried to justify your stand.

4. @ hopefulagain; if you are STUP*D enough to assume full responsibility and commitment right from the onset without any evidence that you are biological father, then I piety your sorrow a*s....unlike you, I would rather be patient and wait till all facts are established, then I harvest the fruit of my actions.

No I am not because I am not STUPID and IRRESPONSIBLE enough to get into this situation. I came here to study and thats all stuck to. I was not scr**ing with 3 months of my landing here for studies. Fruit of your action.....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.......you cannot afford the fruit of your action (and thats according to your own acknowledgement).

5 @ hopefulagain; I am surprised to see the number of posts you have here, it makes me wonder if you are always off-topic and defying the very purpose of this forum.....if administration is observing, then I suggest GOSSIP's like you be removed from forum.

Thank you for going through all my posts. And as long as I am not threatening anyone (unlike you what you did to abdul in your first comment), I am not violating any rules of this forum.

6. @ hopefulgain; you are such an interesting chap....the fact that someone COULD be pulling a scam on you does not mean you should rebel instantly....I reiterate, I do care for both woman and unborn. care need not necessarily be enough....until facts established.

HAH!

7 @ hopefulagain; I do not need to ask how to figure out how the child is mine or not.....its simple as 1-2-pee
again, that will be an irrelevant question to this forum......check yourself and make sure you are in line...STU !

I am in line. And I dont need a "person" like you to tell me. Maybe get yourself in line.

 

[Sweetalker]

As far as I know, the mother can not legally give up the right to child support because that is the right of the child. She could agree to it and even sign papers but if she later changes her mind, he could be asked to pay child support owed since the birth of the child. He will not be asked to pay any support to the mother because they were not in a relationship.

Of course he should get a DNA test done before signing any paperwork. It is better to make sure now rather than finding out later.

I hope u r readin this guy..
Like i said..

Keep yourself covered man..

 

[Sweetalker]

@ Sweettalker.....How typical of you? Its the girls fault, right? She is the one who "spoilt" the your friend's life. I guess your friend just didnt have any "hand" in this?

Do you know how children are made? The guys have an equal part in this. Just because they dont get pregnant does not mean its not their responsibility when their "fun time" results in a child.

If your friend and others you know were so worried about their lives and future, thats what they should have concentrated on. You reek of typical male chauvinistic behaviour which ALWAYS blames the girl.

Breach of trust?.....You REALLY are a specimen. Both - the guy and the girl - go into this 1 night stand without giving any thought to the consequences. Now just because it does not suit your friend, he wants to abort the child. You talk of empathy. What about empathy from your friend towards the woman - and respecting her choice? So your friend wants to have fun but when it results in unwanted consequences he wants no part of it and you consider it a breach of trust?

As I have said it b4 - if your friend is old enough to f**k, then he is old enough to take responsibility. If he did not think he was ready for the responsibility, then he should have kept it zipped up. Your friend (or any other guy) is NOT the victim.

Implications on other partner?????????????? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA the implications on a guy's life is NOTHING when compared to a woman's. Did your friend think about that? Oh! wait, we are men, so we dont have to think about anything or anybody else. As long as we are not inconvenienced.

Nice..
classic feminist... I hope you read clearly that i said partners and not just girl or boy.. If u wud hav seen wat i have seen happen to my frens then u wud have a diff opinion on all this.. I just meant partners.. But still.. U had to tear it down by framing the girl as the obvious victim.. Didnt u?

U wanna see how it goes?
I know u r gonna fume this mindlessly as well but still just for the sake of logic i will giv it a try..

Guy n a girl.. Have a one nite stand.. They have no plans for future.. Dnt know if they will even meet again.. But both agree on unsafe sex.. Now it is a mutual decision.. Coz she didnt ask for protection.. Neither the guy offered one.. So both r equally responsible.. Rite?

Now.. The fun part of this so called male dominant world..
She gets pregnant..

Case1:
She decides to keep it.. The guy flips n doznt want a kid.. But she does.. N its her body.. So she gets to do wat she wants.. The guy gets to b the unsupportive, non empathetic, stupid douche.. How cud he not understand that she wants the baby all of a sudden..

Bottomline - guy is the culprit.

Case2:
She doznt want a kid at all.. She flips.. Wants to abort.. But this time the guy develops paternal instincts n asks her to keep the baby.. Also promises to to be there for her n the child.. But???
Its her body, she doznt want the baby.. So how the hell cud this guy b so cold n heartless n imposing to force her to keep it?
Cant he get it that shez not ready for a kid..? This irresponsible dominant idiot guy.. Jeez..!!!!

Bottomline - the guy is the culprit.

I rest my case..

 

[Hopefulagain]

Nice..
classic feminist... I hope you read clearly that i said partners and not just girl or boy.. If u wud hav seen wat i have seen happen to my frens then u wud have a diff opinion on all this.. I just meant partners.. But still.. U had to tear it down by framing the girl as the obvious victim.. Didnt u?

U wanna see how it goes?
I know u r gonna fume this mindlessly as well but still just for the sake of logic i will giv it a try..

Guy n a girl.. Have a one nite stand.. They have no plans for future.. Dnt know if they will even meet again.. But both agree on unsafe sex.. Now it is a mutual decision.. Coz she didnt ask for protection.. Neither the guy offered one.. So both r equally responsible.. Rite?

Now.. The fun part of this so called male dominant world..
She gets pregnant..

Case1:
She decides to keep it.. The guy flips n doznt want a kid.. But she does.. N its her body.. So she gets to do wat she wants.. The guy gets to b the unsupportive, non empathetic, stupid douche.. How cud he not understand that she wants the baby all of a sudden..

Bottomline - guy is the culprit.

Case2:
She doznt want a kid at all.. She flips.. Wants to abort.. But this time the guy develops paternal instincts n asks her to keep the baby.. Also promises to to be there for her n the child.. But???
Its her body, she doznt want the baby.. So how the hell cud this guy b so cold n heartless n imposing to force her to keep it?
Cant he get it that shez not ready for a kid..? This irresponsible dominant idiot guy.. Jeez..!!!!

Bottomline - the guy is the culprit.

I rest my case..

1) I am a man......not a feminist just disgusted with the mindset of people like you.

2) Man or woman it does not make any difference, the person going to suffer is the child and thats what I have been saying from the very first post. I am not giving any excuses. In fact, I despise people who start giving excuses after the deed is done. If people have been irresponsible enough, then they have to face the consequences. Neither the boy nor the girl is the victim here. the only victim here is the child. Please read all my posts. I have been harping all along that people should take immediate responsibility.

 

[maxvol]

@ cartonkay, why are you posting in multiple places? You already got your answers here

http://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/baby-boom-t170974.0.html

 

[BaqarNaqvi]

Why on earth you did that, and even you did it, why the hell didn't you used Condom? :\

 

[Sweetalker]

1) I am a man......not a feminist just disgusted with the mindset of people like you.

2) Man or woman it does not make any difference, the person going to suffer is the child and thats what I have been saying from the very first post. I am not giving any excuses. In fact, I despise people who start giving excuses after the deed is done. If people have been irresponsible enough, then they have to face the consequences. Neither the boy nor the girl is the victim here. the only victim here is the child. Please read all my posts. I have been harping all along that people should take immediate responsibility.

you.. Sir.. ARE a feminist..
What gender u r dosnt make a diff.. Its an ideology.. Wich u purvey.. Nothing related with ur own gender..

I HAVE read ur posts.. That is exactly why I HAD to giv the above example.. Im not against the rights of the child.. im not against treating all sexes as equal.. What I do not support, Is when it gets unfair for the guys.. Not every guy is a douche by default just coz there is a girl involved..

im sure u have no counter for my example so u suddenly shifted all ur attention to the child now. I duggest YOU read ur posts again..

You can get disgusted by watever u please.. Does not affect nethn.. U can decide to get disgusted by rain today.. Does not make rain a bad thing.. Does it? So go on..

The guy here did nothing more wrong then the girl.. Both r equally responsible.. But the girl CHANGED the TERMS of a consensus later.. Wich is not fair.. Dats it.. N u started bashing him n his concience like he belongs to hell..

 

[Leon]

Who says they had a consensus to abort in case of a pregnancy before they had sex? Do people actually discuss and agree on those things before they have a one night stand?

This can never be completely fair because women physically get pregnant and men don't. Because women have control over their bodies, a man can never force a woman to carry a child to term if she doesn't want it nor can he force her to get an abortion if she doesn't want it.

Some men claim that a man should be able to legally "abort" the child by signing away their rights and responsibilities but then you have the 3rd party, the child and the child didn't enter into any agreement so the child has the right to be supported by both parents.

So.. it's not fair to men but there is no other way that I see how to handle it. Guys who don't want babies should protect themselves with a condom and spermicide and they should dispose of their used condoms themselves just in case. If the condom breaks and the woman gets pregnant and decides to keep the baby, that's bad luck and the guy has to face that bad luck. Having a baby accident is not like having a car accident. Nobody is injured and most parents are happy to have their children in the long-run, even if they weren't planned.

As for the child's life being ruined, that's not really the case. Nobody I know had perfect parents and many people I know came from broken homes, one night stands or divorce families and have still made it to adulthood as good people who lead happy lives.

 

[siddharth_pharma84]

Guys try to help this person rather than fighting among yourself.In a forum it's natural to have difference of opinion.let not forget whatever happened has already done.No point in finding fault .Anyone who had been in such situation help him out.someone suggested using condoms would prevent pregnancy .This happens only in 98% cases rest 2% bad luck.Better suggest him or stop posting judgemental opinion.

 

[Hopefulagain]

you.. Sir.. ARE a feminist..
What gender u r dosnt make a diff.. Its an ideology.. Wich u purvey.. Nothing related with ur own gender..

I HAVE read ur posts.. That is exactly why I HAD to giv the above example.. Im not against the rights of the child.. im not against treating all sexes as equal.. What I do not support, Is when it gets unfair for the guys.. Not every guy is a douche by default just coz there is a girl involved..

im sure u have no counter for my example so u suddenly shifted all ur attention to the child now. I duggest YOU read ur posts again..

You can get disgusted by watever u please.. Does not affect nethn.. U can decide to get disgusted by rain today.. Does not make rain a bad thing.. Does it? So go on..

The guy here did nothing more wrong then the girl.. Both r equally responsible.. But the girl CHANGED the TERMS of a consensus later.. Wich is not fair.. Dats it.. N u started bashing him n his concience like he belongs to hell..

If I am a feminist, then by contrast you are a male **censored words**. If you are so concerned about not getting affected by people changing their terms then DONT get into a "contract" with them i.e. do not unzip. The man does not get pregnant, he does not have to bear 9 months of pregnancy and hours of labour. Of course its a woman's body so she has a choice.

If you are so concerned and worried about getting hoodwinked/trapped etc etc, then DON'T DO IT. Or get married. Or live with her for sometime and understand the kind of person she is. But once the deed is done and it is time to face consequences - then dont cry like a baby that its unfair to you. If you are grown up enough to f**k then be grown up enough to accept the responsibility. Or else keep it zipped up.

As far as your last example is concerned, in both your cases switch "guy" with " girl" and you will see that then it is not fair for the girl. Your example has no weight because if both the parties were in agreement in keeping or not keeping the baby then there would be no problems. The issue arises when both dont agree. And that is what is being questioned - as to who bears the responsibility then. I say both do - irrespective of what their circumstances - financially and psychologically - are and also irrespective of the fact if one of them backed out from previous agreement. As a woman bears the child, she has the right to decide what she wants to do with her body. Since the only thing men can control is avoid doing the deed - then thats what they should do - no 1 night stands with strangers. But if you cannot control it - whatever the reason is - then be grown up enough to accept responsibility.

@ Leon I can agree to disagree with your last statement. Most of the people I know who come from broken families and unwanted pregnancies also end up doing the same mistakes their parents did. One instance - my university friend is a result of an unwanted pregnancy, no father in life and he despises his father. But he has done the same thing that his father did to him - twice. He curses his father but he does not see the wrong that he has done.

Now, I do agree that I cannot generalize but I have usually seen the opposite of what you have described.

 

[Leon]

@ Leon I can agree to disagree with your last statement. Most of the people I know who come from broken families and unwanted pregnancies also end up doing the same mistakes their parents did. One instance - my university friend is a result of an unwanted pregnancy, no father in life and he despises his father. But he has done the same thing that his father did to him - twice. He curses his father but he does not see the wrong that he has done.

I can tell stories too. I have a cousin who resulted from a one night stand. His relationship to his father growing up was virtually non-existent because his fathers new wife did not like that he had a child before he got married to her. He finally managed to build a relationship with his father and fathers wife after he was grown up and married himself. He's been married to the same woman for the past 20 years, has 3 kids and is an all around nice guy and a good husband and father.

I wouldn't call them "unwanted" pregnancies either. If the mother decided not to have an abortion, it may have been an unplanned or unexpected pregnancy but not unwanted.

 

[Hopefulagain]

I can tell stories too. I have a cousin who resulted from a one night stand. His relationship to his father growing up was virtually non-existent because his fathers new wife did not like that he had a child before he got married to her. He finally managed to build a relationship with his father and fathers wife after he was grown up and married himself. He's been married to the same woman for the past 20 years, has 3 kids and is an all around nice guy and a good husband and father.

I wouldn't call them "unwanted" pregnancies either. If the mother decided not to have an abortion, it may have been an unplanned or unexpected pregnancy but not unwanted.

Like I said....Agree to disagree (of course, based on different experiences we have)