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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,854
Dear Cansha, I actually did and received the results just after 2 days, saying that my score didn't change. :( Are my essays any better than band 6.5? And do you know if I can appeal the re-mark?
I haven't actually read the essays yet. It was a question based on your other section scores which are excellent! I don't think remark can be challenged but I may be wrong.
 
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jatinder161088

Star Member
May 30, 2018
72
29
Disclaimer: As a writer of this thread, I never got more or less than 6.5 in writing.

I am stuck at 6.5 bands in writing, got personal training from ex-ielts examiner, she explained alot, but still no avail, read books/info/tutorials from various ex-examiners, such as ielts-simon.com, Ryan higgins (ieltsielts.com), ielts Liz and many others I can't remember now.

My other maximum scores, Reading: 9 ( in both AC & GT), Listening: 8.5 , Speaking: 7.5, in short: Reading depends on your vocabulary, Listening and Speaking is luck. I admit that my grammar is weak, at least I feel that.

enough about me, Let's Talk business.

in this forum, there are many others like me, So I want to focus only on writing.

Feedback From IDP on writing


This is just a starting, I will add learning material, essays, essay analysis, written essays by me etc.

Let's admit that, we fail at writing and there is no conspiracy theory. Let us work towards improving it.

Please Share writing material, tips, tricks etc.


Post your own essays

I would like to suggest that you should take print out of this pdf file.
its cleared sample answer sheet pdf,
then
write on that, in time bound manner, like in 30 minutes
Click picture of it and post here, then we can check each others mistakes.
Make sure your handwriting is understandable and picture is nice.
Code:
 PDF:
https://uploadocean.com/eg22ddhpevxa
https://sendit.cloud/xqcitn78kx1e
I really hope we can work something out here.


Writing Materials

1. IELTS Academic & General Task 2. How to Write at a Band 9 Level (2017) -Ryan Higgins
note: I think this is the best source to know what cohesion and coherence is.
Code:
https://sendit.cloud/yxc3cmnc20zb
https://uploadocean.com/gwu8my7znuba
2. Essay Writing for English Tests by Gabi Duigu
note : This book should be your first book to understand what kind of writing they want from you, it was re-printed in 2003, I think this is mother of most of other ielts books, others are spin-off of this one.
Code:
https://sendit.cloud/6mjetq4kwjf7
https://uploadocean.com/6vgvszt4d930
3. IELTS Writing General Task 1 - How to write at a band 9 level -Ryan Higgins
note: Precise and clear in less time.
Code:
https://uploadocean.com/4aveqeoqi002
https://sendit.cloud/iaod6hvt090n

More material will come..

Hi @H0peAndFa1th,

I am also a victim of lacking CLB9 with just .5.
Its either listening or writing, where they keep me .5 lower then the required score.
I wanted to download the GT writing materials that you have uploaded in this post but looks like the files have been deleted.
Could you please provide me new links?

Thank you.
 

jadudas

Member
Jan 27, 2018
15
1
I like the intro. Add few words on why that view is simplistic which gives a glimpse of things to come.


Rather too philosophical in the beginning for me. But that is personal opinion. But there is just no comparison of art with other areas where money could be spent. There is absolutely no reference. I'm not sure I like it in that sense.





Overall no big issues of English. There are a few grammatical errors. I'm not very sure about the essay. It did kind of address the topic and kind of didn't. So I don't know how the examiner reading on a day will treat it for task response. But, the essay was easy to read and the flow was good. So I guess you can expect a band on higher side if your examiner was in a good mood.
Thanks @cansha . I will try to be more direct. Overall do you think band 7 is possible if examiner is in good mood?
 

mau123

Hero Member
Nov 16, 2018
453
115
Hi there,

I need your advice guys as at this point I'm getting paranoid and completely lost.

I took CELPIP twice.

1st attempt: L10 R11 W8 S8
2nd attempt: L11 R12 W8 S10 (I applied for evaluation, no success. My scored for writing remained the same. )

Now, I'm considering taking IELTS. Actually, I've register for my exam and will be taking it in December. Do you have any specific tips on how to improve writing for IELTS?

The funny thing is that I have studied in the UK for 3 years, and graduated with 2:1 degree. Now, I've been living in Canada for the past 1.5 and working full-time in communication/PA. I'm completely disappointed with myself and my writing abilities. My visa is running out. Will have to leave Canada by July, 2019 unless I improve my writing. Do you guys have any tips on how to stay positive in this process? How you guys survive this mess? As sometimes I think if all of this is really worth it. Can't sleep at night, just thinking about my score and the fact that with every day I'm getting closer to my visa running out. I'm trying to study every day, practice writing my essays, but still. Scared that I will get a stupid question and won't have anything to write about. Need your support and guidance. Thanks.
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,854
Hi there,

I need your advice guys as at this point I'm getting paranoid and completely lost.

I took CELPIP twice.

1st attempt: L10 R11 W8 S8
2nd attempt: L11 R12 W8 S10 (I applied for evaluation, no success. My scored for writing remained the same. )

Now, I'm considering taking IELTS. Actually, I've register for my exam and will be taking it in December. Do you have any specific tips on how to improve writing for IELTS?

The funny thing is that I have studied in the UK for 3 years, and graduated with 2:1 degree. Now, I've been living in Canada for the past 1.5 and working full-time in communication/PA. I'm completely disappointed with myself and my writing abilities. My visa is running out. Will have to leave Canada by July, 2019 unless I improve my writing. Do you guys have any tips on how to stay positive in this process? How you guys survive this mess? As sometimes I think if all of this is really worth it. Can't sleep at night, just thinking about my score and the fact that with every day I'm getting closer to my visa running out. I'm trying to study every day, practice writing my essays, but still. Scared that I will get a stupid question and won't have anything to write about. Need your support and guidance. Thanks.
First thing is you need to calm down a bit. I know it’s not easy but if you freak out you are not going to help yourself. Many people face challenge in scoring a good score in IELTS writing not because they don’t know English but because IELTS has its own quirks. I’m not sure how much you have researched on ielts writing but you need to familiarize yourself with the test format and do a bit of research. There is no one size fit all strategy for writing. Everyone has their own set of challenges when it comes to writing. We can help you only if you post some of your essay for review.

Just relax a bit. Not scoring on your previous attempts is neither an indication of your talent or your English prowess. These are exams and sometimes one may not perform to the best of their abilities. Key always is to learn from mistakes and being honest about your weak areas. All the best!!
 

nns14

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Hi there,

I need your advice guys as at this point I'm getting paranoid and completely lost.

I took CELPIP twice.

1st attempt: L10 R11 W8 S8
2nd attempt: L11 R12 W8 S10 (I applied for evaluation, no success. My scored for writing remained the same. )

Now, I'm considering taking IELTS. Actually, I've register for my exam and will be taking it in December. Do you have any specific tips on how to improve writing for IELTS?

The funny thing is that I have studied in the UK for 3 years, and graduated with 2:1 degree. Now, I've been living in Canada for the past 1.5 and working full-time in communication/PA. I'm completely disappointed with myself and my writing abilities. My visa is running out. Will have to leave Canada by July, 2019 unless I improve my writing. Do you guys have any tips on how to stay positive in this process? How you guys survive this mess? As sometimes I think if all of this is really worth it. Can't sleep at night, just thinking about my score and the fact that with every day I'm getting closer to my visa running out. I'm trying to study every day, practice writing my essays, but still. Scared that I will get a stupid question and won't have anything to write about. Need your support and guidance. Thanks.
It is normal to worry as you are on the clock, but I would advise to forget about it or at least try to. Worrying will not get you anywhere. Relax and concentrate on your preparation. Next, ditch CELPIP, I researched a lot about it and thought very hard as I too struggled with IELTS writing. CELPIP speaking is nuisance so you would love IELTS speaking. It feels natural to discuss with a human being. If you are worried about the paper based version (using pencil and all), there is now computer based IELTS.

Youtube and google IELTS writing and you will find lots of formats to follow.
 

kadeed

Member
Sep 26, 2016
19
8
Caring For Children is very important for our society. therefore all mothers and fathers should take childcare training course. To what extent you agree or disagree?

While some people believe that all parents must attend a training program which will teach them how to look after their children, others think it is not necessary at all. In my opinion, I believe it depends on the age of the parents.

Firstly, if both the father and the mother are above 30 years old, such programs are not needed. This is because, they are mature enough to take care of their kids. by that age most of the people have already finished their higher education, which will provide them with the experience and the knowledge required to raise a child. Thus, such courses will be waste of time to them as well as waste of resources to the organizing party.

Another point to consider is that people in the end of their twenties are usually working and financially stable. In other words, they can provide and cover their children needs also they have the ability to manage childcare budget. For instance, most of the parents in the UK are in their thirties and they spend around third of their income to cater for their children, which might be difficult for younger parents.

Finally, childcare training programs are important when the couple are below 25 years old, specially if they are teenage parents. Despite the fact that those parents love their kids, they might lack the required knowledge and experience needed to raise a child. That is why such training courses might be vital for them.

To conclude, although those programs might be valuable and beneficial, I think it best suites young parents, as mature parents already have the knowledge, experience and the means to take care of their children and ensure their well being.
 

priteshgondalia

Star Member
Apr 3, 2018
72
19
Hi @cansha,

Can you please evaluate this essay and suggest some improvements.

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

It is often believed that parent training classes ought to be compulsory for every couple. In my opinion, although some important caring skills and knowledge can be acquired by parents from these programs, it should not be mandatory for all parents since spending time in regular childcare courses can cause several issues for society and individuals.

Children training classes can help parents improve their upbringing skills for their offspring. It is imperative for guardians who have a child with special needs. For example, if children have birth defect or are diagnosed with any mental or physical disorder, these parental courses can be life saving for them as parents tend to learn diverse caring skills. In addition to this, since first few months after the birth are usually crucial period for a child's life, couples should acquire basic knowledge about required vaccinations, development issues, and other health related carefulness, which can be delivered through these courses.

Nevertheless, childcare programs should not be compulsory because they pose some problems for society and individuals as well. As well-trained and expert instructors are required for these professional classes, the government would require to spend enormous money on the training of more and more staff if it becomes mandatory for all parents. Consequently, the government budget on other social aspects, especially education, healthcare and transportation, would have a detrimental impact. Moreover, such courses can be time-consuming for those who have not only children at home but also hectic work life. As a result, it is advisable that non mandatory parental courses should be offered on non-working hours when people usually have some leisure time.

To summarize, I think that while upbringing skills and other necessary information about early child life can be learned through childcare courses, it should not be obligatory for every guardian because of its consequences to community and individual people.


Thank You so much.
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,854
@cansha I know you have a lot on your plate but please check this essay. You may ignore the part "This essay" as I know you are not fond of it (I think I read it somewhere). I am following Chris's format.

Question

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Answer
In order to positively effect affect / impact society’s health, many believe adding more sports facilities is the best method, while others believe it would not change the desired outcome by much, in fact, they think other actions can result in greater changes. This essay disagrees with the increment of the number of sports facilities in order to improve public’s health. This essay will discuss both points of view.
Okay I'm ignoring the last line :) But even so the order of your third line and last line doesn't make sense. If you really want to write it may be flip the order of the lines and use a conjunction to make a compound sentence.

This essay will discuss with point of you and will disagree .....

Other than that google effect vs affect. This is a safe normal introduction but be careful of the grammar.

Some of the general public think by having more available sports outlets the overall health will significantly get better. However, I disagree with this statement because it solely depends on the will of the customers to participate these activities. Without the necessary motivation to come to these locations, it would be impossible to improve the wellbeing of the community. A recent publication by the Celebrity Fitness corporation stated only 40% of its members workout regularly in their outlets.
So your reason of disagreement is fine. BUT where are you discussing both sides? You have given no points on why sports facilities may be a good thing. Hence, you haven't discussed both sides.

That is why other steps must be taken to cater the health of the people: Firstly, an awareness program must be initiated by the government, since it is responsible for the wellbeing of its citizens. This program will teach the detroriating effects of sedentary lifestyle, and, at the same time, it will educate the masses about the benefits of doing simple workout. For instance, by walking a mile a day, one would burn 5% of his calory intake for that day. Secondly, the government ought to impose higher taxes on unhealthy food and sugary drinks. This will make these products more expensive, and , as people do not like to pay for expensive items, they will look for substitute products.
So here is a thing. You say sports facilities are not a good solution but educating people is. And once people are educated they will be doing workouts. Hmmm ... you see the fallacy in the argument here. Do you want people to workout only by walking or some of them can actually go to sports center and hence first view is correct. Think about it.

Agree with the second argument on taxes. This is in true sense an "alternative solution"


In conclusion, although the opinion of the people differ significantly, I am against the idea of having more sports facilities to scale up the levels of the public health. Instead, initiating an awareness project as well as increasing the taxes on unbalanced diet products can be taken and led by the government to improve the health of the people.

---------------------------------

Word Count: 311 (second supporting para is higher than I wanted but it contains extra reason... normally per supporting para you would have one reason to support the claim but here the question asked 'other measureS'
I think the issue is again the task response. Even if I disregard the argument in the second body para the fact that you have not really discussed both sides is not good and will lead to band deductions on task response. I think task response is the most important criteria so you need to be a little more careful about that.

All the best!
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,854
Dear all, I have taken IELTS twice, with the following results: R 9, L 8.5, S 7.5, W 6.5 and R 8, L 9, S 7.5, W 6.5, and so practicing for the third attempt. :) Could you please comment on the sample essays below? Thank you in advance!

"1. Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays.
Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?
A conspicuous Google the meaning of this word. This is not appropriate use of the word here. There is no point in using big words if you are using them wrong.
tendency of reaching out employees during days-off has been reported recently. Nowadays, more and more employers wish their staff to be in touch even on their free time, causing both social and economic issues. I don't know why for every essay people tend to go with social and economic issues. Really? There are two issues this seems like a learned phrase and hence probably examiners ignore it and secondly this is just too big a statement. Keep your essays real.

These will be further discussed in more detail. No value add.
So the last line is totally useless. Your introduction is not bad at all. But the use of conspicuous is incorrect. Not good in the very first line of essay. I like that you are giving a glimpse of your reasoning in the intro but saying economic and social issues doesn't really help. I mean I think I can say that for 80% of topics on IELTS. It really doesn't add any value and I think by now examiners do not even consider those lines for marking.

To begin with, the abovementioned phenomenon has a negative social impact.

This means that would a person want to spend holidays or weekends with family and friends, or would he/she choose to do volunteer work, this will be barely possible if the employing organization or person continuously bothers them on their available days. So i get the logic here but the sentence is phrased badly. It is difficult to read and has errors. You can write this in a much simpler and clear way.


As a result, the individual might face barriers while performing their social responsibilities. Seriously what barriers?

No wonder many prosperous and affluent countries force companies provide employees with regular and fixed vacations.
The idea is good here but the execution is not. The "social impact" is not very visible in the passage.

Another facet good vocab here of this trend is the economic effect that may occur, whether workforce is disturbed all the time. Wrong phrasing which can be fixed easily if you replace whether with if

Firstly, this would lead to labour becoming demotivated, or even more, wanting to quit their jobs. Why? Why they will be demotivated?

Such a development of events would upsurge turnover rates within the labour market and would hurt the economy dramatically. Hmm the doomsday is near.

Secondly, the less available time an individual has, the more tired and less efficient he/she gets. You know this right here is more believable argument. You need more of those and much less of all the above arguments. THIS is believable and relatable.

In terms of business this can raise cost of goods offered by companies, also resulting in inflation. Now again a leap of argument.

For example, a recent study conducted by Harvard Business School has shown that a properly managed work-life balance increases efficiency and effectiveness at work. Fine
Keep your arguments real. For example, if workers are tired an easier argument is that it will lead to safety risk in case they are working on dangerous machines rather than it will lead to inflation.

To conclude, in my opinion demerits of connecting to the staff on holidays do exceed the merits you literally have mentioned no merits so this makes no sense and can end up with a negative effect both from social and financial perspectives.
My feedback is same. You are far from the task response. If you don't address the question clearly and are on topic it will be difficult.


2. Some people think that the advantages of advertising sports products through famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree?
It is generally accepted that despite the drawbacks of advertising sport merchandises with the help of well known athletes, this phenomenon has a beneficial impact both on the society and the sports players. Again why does everything have impact on society?

In my opinion, the pro’s of promoting sports-related items in such a manner do overweigh outweigh the con’s for many reasons discussed below.
You need to read good introductions.

To begin with, the abovementioned I though this was a typo in above essay but its the same here. way of advertisement campaigns stimulate the sales of sports goods in various ways. Firstly, a sports star will more likely raise awareness on sports goods, compared to an average individual. It is highly probable that a familiar athlete will draw people’s attention and will therefore upsurge the chances of the product to be sold. Secondly, it is worth mentioning that many children and teenagers get inspired by success stories of famous athletes and wish to follow their examples. This, with no doubt, leads to an increase in the sales of the promoted product.
Besides the aforementioned effects, this type of marketing strategy has a beneficial impact on the athletes, too. In other words, not only the target auditorium audiences of the player gets to know the offered product, but also those, who didn’t previously know the celebrity will start getting interested in finding out, who the person is. For example, such famous soccer players as David Beckham and Pele are nowadays popular among non-soccer fans due to the marketing events they participated in.
To conclude, I believe that the involvement of a known sportsperson in advertisement of a sports item is a positive event, which both the selling companies and the ad person themselves can benefit from."


@cansha @H0peAndFa1th
This essay is decent. More or less it is on point. Probably could be written a little better but I think task response on this one is much better than the first essay. Spend some more time in structuring your essays and make notes of good things you find in essays online. If you take care of task response scoring 7 would not be difficult.

There were some silly spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm not sure if those were simply typo errors or genuine mistakes. But, anyhow such mistakes on actual test would be costly so you need to be careful about them.

All the best!
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,854
Caring For Children is very important for our society. therefore all mothers and fathers should take childcare training course. To what extent you agree or disagree?
While some people believe that all parents must attend a training program which will teach them how to look after their children, others think it is not necessary at all. In my opinion, I believe it depends on the age of the parents.
Good paraphrasing of the topic line. I think it is a decent intro! Well done. Although I think focusing only one reason is a little thin. But let's look at the essay.

Firstly, if both the father and the mother are above 30 years old, such programs are not needed. This is because, they are mature enough to take care of their kids. by that age most of the people have already finished their higher education, which will provide them with the experience and the knowledge required to raise a child. How?

Thus, such courses will be waste of time to them as well as waste of resources to the organizing party. Little harsh
Okay its not entirely believable argument but the flow is good and it is simple to read.


Another point to consider is that people in the end of their twenties are usually working and financially stable. In other words, they can provide and cover their children needs also they have the ability to manage childcare budget. For instance, most of the parents in the UK are in their thirties and they spend around third of their income to cater for their children, which might be difficult for younger parents.
See now your argument is not age but it is financial stability. Hence in your introduction you could have gone for this reason in addition to age.

Finally, childcare training programs are important when the couple are below 25 years old, specially if they are teenage parents. Despite the fact that those parents love their kids, they might lack the required knowledge and experience needed to raise a child. That is why such training courses might be vital for them.
I would probably take this argument to top of my list. I will start with this passage.


To conclude, although those programs might be valuable and beneficial, I think it best suites young parents, as mature parents already have the knowledge, experience and the means to take care of their children and ensure their well being.
So the good thing about this essay it is easy to read and the flow is good. Validity of arguments aside more or less it is always on the topic.

I would make the arguments a little broad .. So age is a good point and I will start with that point in the very first para .. like you said teenage parents may need it. I think financial stability point was good .. just expand and it to say that with money they can ensure help if needed for example nannies etc.

Overall, I can see you are focusing on task response now and there were no big statements or stories .. this is good. Keep doing this.
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,854
Hi @cansha,

Can you please evaluate this essay and suggest some improvements.

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Similar topic to @kadeed above but worded differently.

It is often believed that parent training classes ought to be compulsory for every couple. In my opinion, although some important caring skills and knowledge can be acquired by parents from these programs, it should not be mandatory for all parents since spending time in regular childcare courses can cause several issues for society and individuals. This is the third essay I'm reviewing today where society is impacted by something. This is a motherhood statement and seems can be fit into any essay. I don't know why people are impacting society with everything.
Introduction is good. Rather than saying several effects why don't you state 1-2 which are part of your body paragraphs. And if possible refrain from saying impacts on society and economy on your essays. I don't even know what it means. How is it every topic seems to impact those two.


Children training classes can help parents improve their upbringing skills for their offspring. It is imperative for guardians who have a child with special needs. Brilliant argument.

For example, if children have birth defect or are diagnosed with any mental or physical disorder, these parental courses can be life saving for them as parents tend to learn diverse caring skills. I don't disagree with the statement but I would write in an more emphatic way. Rather than saying mental disorders and all use a more polite and emphatic language like "differently abled"

In addition to this, since first few months after the birth are usually crucial period for a child's life, couples should acquire basic knowledge about required vaccinations, development issues, and other health related carefulness, which can be delivered through these courses.
This is a well written paragraph. On point, crisp, good flow and good example. You just need to this more. Superbly done!

Nevertheless, childcare programs should not be compulsory because they pose some problems for society and individuals as well. Wasting a line for restating your introduction point. You can avoid this.

As well-trained and expert instructors are required for these professional classes, the government would require to spend enormous money on the training of more and more staff if it becomes mandatory for all parents. Consequently, the government budget on other social aspects, especially education, healthcare and transportation, would have a detrimental impact. May be a leap of an argument but it is stated well so it is kind of believable.

Moreover, such courses can be time-consuming for those who have not only children at home but also hectic work life. As a result, it is advisable that non mandatory parental courses should be offered on non-working hours when people usually have some leisure time. Fair enough
Could have been better but still a pretty decent paragraph.

To summarize, I think that while upbringing skills and other necessary information about early child life can be learned through childcare courses, it should not be obligatory for every guardian because of its consequences to community and individual people.


Thank You so much.
I don't really agree with the phrasing in red.

But anyhow overall, this is a very well written essay. The arguments are on topic, the ideas are clear. The flow is good. The support arguments are there. The examples are perfect.

If you write like this on exam day you can even hope for an 8. this is brilliant stuff.
 

priteshgondalia

Star Member
Apr 3, 2018
72
19
Similar topic to @kadeed above but worded differently.


Introduction is good. Rather than saying several effects why don't you state 1-2 which are part of your body paragraphs. And if possible refrain from saying impacts on society and economy on your essays. I don't even know what it means. How is it every topic seems to impact those two.




This is a well written paragraph. On point, crisp, good flow and good example. You just need to this more. Superbly done!



Could have been better but still a pretty decent paragraph.



I don't really agree with the phrasing in red.

But anyhow overall, this is a very well written essay. The arguments are on topic, the ideas are clear. The flow is good. The support arguments are there. The examples are perfect.

If you write like this on exam day you can even hope for an 8. this is brilliant stuff.
Thank you for your review. I’m just following your tips that read band 8-9 essays from the internet, collect sentences and words, read them daily, make plans daily for differnet essays, and then write an full essay.

I find this way helpful because I can easily remember impressive sentences, words, and flow when I write an essay.
 

mau123

Hero Member
Nov 16, 2018
453
115
Hey guys.

Can you please provide feedback on my essay?

Question: Scientists agree that people ruin their health by eating junk food. Some people think that the best way to prevent people from eating junk food is to educate them, while others believe that this won’t work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Answer:

In recent years, there has been a growing debate in Canada over processed food and its effects on human health. On one hand, there are individuals who argue that the best solution of preventing people from eating unhealthy food is to educate them about it and its negative effects, while others suggest that this technique will not provide any results and should be completely abandoned. Personally, I strongly believe that informing society about the negative effects of junk food should help to increase awareness of the harm that junk food does and make people more aware of their food choices, which could eventually lead to an increase of the overall health.

There are no doubts that an education campaign about the negative effects of junk food can improve people's decision about their food choices and increase overall quality of life, especially health. According to scientific research, food is one the most important factors of human health. For example, it has been found that people who eat nutritionally rich foods such as nutrient-dense vegetables, protein-packed meats and fish; have a better quality of life longterm than those who choose to eat processed, usually salty and extremely oily, foods.

However, many disagree and feel that education will not provide any value and individuals will continue consuming unhealthy products. While this premise might be true, there are no scientific evidence to support such claim. Therefore, this claim should be questioned and an educational campaign implemented.

In conclusion, while education could increase general awareness of the negative effects of junk food and improve society's health, there are people who do not support this claim and suggest to abandon it. However, without testing education approach first, the final decision of whether it does or does not work cannot be made. Therefore, an education approach should be taken first.

(303 words)

Thank you.