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SOP review for 3rd application

thaovy99

Hero Member
Jun 26, 2019
292
162
Hello guys,
Im about to reapply for the 3rd in the next week. I will appreciate every single comments to help me improve my SOP.
( Please note that my original SOP will be in French. I translated it into English so I might get more helps. There would be some grammars faults but it doesn't matter. The content is the most important thing in my case )


STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
URGENT : THE LAST ARRIVAL DATE ACCEPTED BY MY UNIVERSITY IS IN EARLY OCTOBER
Madam, Sir,
Attached to my application for a Canadian study permit, I have the honor to write you this letter in order to explain my study project, the reasons why I choose the Bachelor in Management in Canada, my competitive advantages compared with other applicants, the ties between me and my native country and at last, my financial situation and supports.

First of all, I allow myself to explain to you my study project. My background was a bilingual student in Vietnam (French-English). Once I got my Vietnamese high school diploma and a diploma for my 12-years-learning-French, I decided to leave my country to come to France for my further studies. Then, I was in a formation of 2-years Technical Diploma (Diplôme universitaire de technologie- DUT) at the Transport and Logistics Management faculty. The formation was holding at the Technology University Insitut of Chalon sur Saone, France (IUT Chalon sur Saone). I started my classes in September 2017 and I got my diploma in June 2019. I had the chance to learn about a various amount of knowledge which link to multiples domains like Economy, International Business, Company Management, Transport from interregional to international and Logistics Supply chain. With this Diploma, I have nowadays 120 Europeans study credits. In comparison, my Technical Diploma is an equivalence of a College Diploma or a College Advanced Diploma in Canada. They are both organized in the Institute of higher education after the secondary studies and they both deliver a diploma which is below the Bachelor. Based on the guidance concerning all the possibilities of higher studies after the Technical Diploma, I applied then for the Bachelor of Management in University of Hearst, Ontario. The professors at university gave me a welcoming scholarship and a transfer of my European credits into Canadian ones in order to shorten my study time and in order to place me at the level which I am belong to. After the bachelor, I want to continue to the Master in Business Administration. Based on some researches that I did myself, I found the university York in Toronto (Ontario), university McGill and Concordia in Montreal (Quebec) which offer some interesting MBA and in my opinions, they deserve to be called one of the best MBA in the world.

Secondly, I want to explain why I choose the Bachelor of Management in University of Hearst. Every year, a million students all over the world decide to pursuit the formations in Management and this faculty is always “fashionable”. Furthermore, this formation has lots of links with my previous diploma. All the knowledge in Economy, in Management, in Human resources and others domains which I learned during my DUT represent the entire fundamental in the Bachelor of Management. In view of the DUT formation doesn’t give students the Bachelor diploma, I have to take other Bachelor courses in order to get my own diploma. And why would it be Canada? Because it is the country which has the best tuition rate in the world, the country with the best life quality (UNO research) and the country who welcomed, in 2017, 245 900 international students from all nationalities. Moreover, Hearts is one rare of the French-English speaking cities in Ontario. Based on my experiences in France, I would prefer a small city because it would be easier for me to start a new life and to integrate in the community. In my opinion, although France is also one good destination for students, Canada has an essential advantage: the bilingualism.

Thirdly, I am confident about having some essential advantages comparing with others applicants. After 15 years learning French and 10 years learning English, I am proud to declare that I can nowadays speak these two languages fluently and I have all the capacities to study at a university teaching by French or English or both. Please take a look at my two certificates in French and English capacity further in my application. I am a serious student who got a double Vietnamese-French High school Diploma with honors in Vietnam and a 2-years-Technical Diploma in France at the top 1 in my class with 70% GPA. I attached my transcripts during my Technical Diploma courses and a recommendation letter from the Manager-Professor of my old faculty Logistics and Transportation in which declared that my choice of Bachelor in Management is logical with my previous studies. Not only in the educational aspect, as a citizen in France or in Vietnam, I did never commit a criminal action and I always in respect of all the national laws. If I have the chance to get a Canadian study permit, I will also respect the Canada like the way I did with my native country and my present country of residence.

Afterward, my native country has some ties which will guide me to return to it after my studies. Indeed, Vietnam has a numerous professional perspectives in my domain. Based on a research which is realized by the Investment Ministry of Vietnam, 131 275 companies started their business in 2018 with a general capital of 40 000 000 000$. This year represent the fourth consecutive year that gets a record in the number of new companies. There is, in this moment, 650 000 companies in activity in Vietnam. This also means that there are a lot of demands of human resources in Management. In comparison with others Vietnamese jobseekers, I believe having an advantage due to all my international experiences and they will surely help me to create my own carrier later. Vietnam is nowadays a country in development and its job market will continue to widen in 10 to 20 years in order to accompany the economic growth. Furthermore, I always have my dear family in Vietnam. My parents and my younger brother live in a house in the possession of my parents since more than 20 years. My dad works for the Defense Ministry of Vietnam and if I want to live with my family later, I will have to return home because my dad cannot live abroad. In fact, all the Defense Ministry’s staffs are strictly recommended not to leave Vietnam except the urgent situation in order to protect our national secrets. I have a marvelous relationship with my dad and I am always aware about my responsibility to be with him in his last years after retirement.

Lastly, I would like to explain you about how will I pay for my journey in Canada. As I am only 20 years-old and as I am a student who concentrates in my studies more than finding a job and making money in this moment, I will surely need my parent’s financial help for my studies in Canada. My dad has worked for the Ministry of Defense since 25 years and he is nowadays Colonel in the High command of Air Defense and Air Force. I attached in my financial proofs a Certificate written and signed by the Deputy Head which declared my father’s function, his labor term and a second Monthly salary attestation. My dad earns monthly 40 000 000 VND (2150 CAD). My mom runs a small company in waste collecting and treating for small and average hotels in my touristic home town. She earns each month around 30 000 000 VND (1710 CAD). In the next of my financial proofs, I give you a Certificate of registration of private companies and the Income taxes proofs of my mom. In addition, my parents have a savings account of 50 000$ in 1 year duration. My dad will be my official guarantor. He wrote and signed a Guarantee announcement. I paid all the first tuition fees to show you that I have real intentions to studies in Canada. There will also be a Certificate of financial capacity in my French bank account.

Madams, Sirs, this is the third time I apply for a Canadian study permit. The only motivation which pushed me to do this again is the fact that I believe meeting all the requirements to get a study permit. From my previous study history, my purpose of this visit, my family ties in Vietnam to my financial capacity, I am ready not only in the educational aspect but also in the financial aspect to study in Canada. I may be explained my situation in the wrong way and this might get you confused in my two previous apply. This time, I ordered a CAIPS Notes and I also wrote an Explanation letter to answer directly to the refusal reasons. Please take a look at my letter further in my documents given. I would like to show you that I go to Canada for my study only and this fact will always be true.

I am looking forwards to hearing from you as soon as possible.



THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!
 

thaovy99

Hero Member
Jun 26, 2019
292
162
You may want to talk to a Immigration Lawyer. I did and I made it. No one can help you in this difficult case except a real expert.