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Sex questions in interviews............ :-|

Discussion in 'Family Class Sponsorship' started by nncs, Jul 29, 2010.

  1. Hello everyone...

    I was wondering what kind of questions about a couple's sex life the IO's can ask. My husband's interview is coming up soon and we were discussing this and thinking how in-depth do they go!!

    Has anyone been questioned about their sex life in an interview? If so, what kind of questions to they ask. We're super curious and I'm trying to tell him that he has to feel comfortable answering them............ :-\

    Thank you :)
  2. Unfortunately, in interviews, anything goes. I have heard of members on this board asked about the first time they had sex with their partner. When, where, how (!) and who initiated it.

    I have also heard of interviewees being asked their partners favourite position, what type of underwear they wear etc.

    All I know is Lord help us if they IO asks my husband these questions! I have told him to just answer them, but he feels he will need to be a bit defensive. I hope he won't cross the line. He would say "Isn't that a very personal question?" or "Our sex life is very private, is it absolutely necessary I answer?" and then go ahead based on the IOs reaction. I know if it was me, I would just answer the questions! Heck, I'd tell them in detail if it helped me get him his visa!
  3. i don't think they should ask that unless it was in extreme circumstances...

    why would they want to know that anyway?

    and i dont think it is fair to say anything goes in interviews... not everything goes.. i think there are still rights and sanctions in place...
  4. There's some pretty scary stories on here, jill.. I think anything goes in interview.. I've read about blatant racism, throwing things around, intimidation, etc. It's your word against a government worker..

    Honestly if it got me my PR, I would answer anything they asked. Sad, but that's how it goes.. they have all the power.
  5. I don't expect to get called in for an interview, but if I am, I will definitely bring a pocket audio recorder to make sure everything goes smoothly if we have to appeal. I think it just makes sense to have a recording, and well, if the government isn't going to do it for you, you have to do it yourself! I definitely wouldn't mention it to the interviewer though...
  6. You can't even have your cell phone. They check you thoroughly... metal detecter? Scanner? Being a government facility I'm sure you can't bring that, as useful as it would be.
  7. Holy crap! My husband would be extremely pissed if they asked intimate questions like that! He is already upset enough as it is with the possibility that they might actually want to see our emails or chat logs as he considers these private and intimate as well.

    I will probably do my best to answer whatever they ask of me if called in, though.
  8. personally, I think asking questions about positions etc is crossing the line - its unnecessary, gratuitous and deeply offensive in a lot of more traditional cultures.

    If a policeman, border security or immigration official asked me those kind of questions I would have no qualms about telling him to shove it where the sun don't shine.

    A question about if we have sex, and general occurance, is fine.

    any further than that is rude, personal and humiliating to the interviewee.

    Im not begging for residency, im applying.
  9. oh damn. ok nevermind then. :/
  10. All Canadian High Commissions take all electronics from you at the gate and store them at security until you are finished. You have to go through a metal detector. No recorders, no cell phones, no cameras.
  11. You know, a lot of it depends on your visa office and your specific case. If they're suspicious of you and feel the need to pry, they will. Many people have a standard interview which is basically a review of your case and to see if you have anything new to bring to the table. Most people don't get angry officers and attacking questions. Of course it happens, and some offices are different than others and same with officers. Asking about your sex life isn't a common occurence, and if it happens, it should just be "if, when, where".
  12. It sure feels like begging sometimes though, doesn't it?
  13. There is guidance as to how CIC interviews should be conducted.

    You can find it here http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/op/op01-eng.pdf section 11

    11. Procedure: Conducting interviews

    Officers conduct interviews:

    • to get information that is unavailable from the documents on file;
    • to clarify information (e.g., intentions of dependent child);
    • to give counselling;
    • to provide applicants with an opportunity to respond to an officer’s concerns regarding elements of the application; and
    • to inform applicants about decisions.

    The following steps should be followed when conducting interviews


    • Read the file in advance.
    • Stay focused on why an interview is required: what is needed to make a decision
    • Gather any tools that need to be consulted in order to make a decision.

    Establish rapport

    • Greet the applicant.
    • Put the client at ease: help them through the logistics (e.g., Do they follow you? Where do they sit? Do they have special needs?).

    Explain the purpose and format of the interview

    • Explain the officer’s role and authority.
    • Explain how the interview will be conducted.
    • If using an interpreter, ensure that the applicant and interpreter understand each other.
    • Ensure that the applicant understands the officer and the process.

    Elicit information
    • Try to put the applicant at ease: most people will be more forthcoming if they feel relaxed.
    • Keep vocabulary simple and sentence structure uncluttered.
    • Avoid jargon, rephrase questions if it appears that the applicant has not understood a question.
    Maintain the dignity of the applicant.

    What to ask:
    ♦ ask only what can't be determined from the file;
    ♦ use the application form as a guide;
    ♦ be alert for inconsistencies, gaps and evasiveness.

    Personal questions are acceptable as long as the officer is respectful.

    Make a provisional Essence of decision:

    assessment on eligibility/admissibility and inform the applicant

    • Why is the applicant being interviewed?
    • Is the necessary information available in order to make a decision?

    i) Identity: Is the applicant who they claim to be?
    ii) Relationship: Is the applicant related to their sponsor? Are they related to their stated family member?
    iii) Eligibility: Does the applicant meet the selection criteria in the category in which they are applying?
    iv) Admissibility: Does the applicant meet statutory requirements? Is the applicant described in inadmissible classes?

    Give the applicant the opportunity to refute/explain

    • Remember the principles of procedural fairness.
    • Give the applicant reasonable opportunity to respond to the decision, clarify facts, provide new information or question the officer’s interpretation of the facts.
    • Don't be reluctant to change a decision if the applicant presents new, relevant information.
    • Explanation is very important if it is a refusal or if there are conditions upon acceptance.
    • Explain the requirements and why the applicant does not meet them.

    Explain what happens next

    • If something is required of the applicant, write this down for them.
    • Ask only for additional information/documentation if it is necessary in order to make a decision.
    • Inform the client what will be done next.
    • As applicable, inform the applicant that they will also receive a written explanation.
    • Inform the applicant if humanitarian and compassionate consideration, rehabilitation, etc., will be sought.
    • Make clear who has the authority to make the decision.

    Answer any questions

    • Give the client an opportunity to clarify what was said and make sure they understand.
    • Give counseling: refer the applicant to authoritative sources.
    • Avoid giving information you are not certain of.

  14. Instead, make sure to record names, and position/title of everyone you deal with.
  15. My husband got asked when we had sex, when was the first time, where we were located which city that is and then where in the house was it what you expected. :eek: My husband is Indian and you DONT talk about sex with another woman unless she is your wife. My husband was horrified but answered feeling very humiliated. I think she liked having that ability, being indian herself she had to know how she would have made my husband feel. He was not expecting anything like that but was afraid to not answer or tell her its not her business cause she holds our future in her hands. What do you do? Do you dare to say hey thats not really your business and lose your chance for a visa? or is that what they are hoping for. You to say something in defence of your relationship? Its crazy.

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