I know, I'm very curious as well!
I supposed I could answer the actual part of my question in regards to what attracted me to my man.
I honestly never wanted a Caribbean man...that sounds so rude to my husband, but I didn't. I was raised in a well off family where everyone ends up being doctors, engineers, successful farmers/rancher, nurses, business/company owners. I'm not bragging, but its relevant in the process that led me to choose my husband.There was alot of expectation that went with my last name so I grew up thinking I wanted somebody that could be the other half of the equation to live the life I was sure was expected of me. Please note that in no way am I saying I felt a Jamaican wasn't good enough for me...I am a equal respector of all persons/cultures etc etc. I'm as comfortable in the ghetto areas of Jamaica killing cockroaches, centipede and ignoring an occasional rat running through the house.... as I am in the home I grew up in. However that being said, I was the odd duckling out in my family. I was strong willed/a bit rebellious, bold and I never felt comfortable with the life that all my relatives were living. It just wasn't me, I felt like it squashed who I really was. It was fine for them, just not me. Luckily my parents were a bit different than the rest of our family as well. They encouraged us kids to not feel like we couldn't choose our paths. They encouraged us to do what made us happy...and they were pretty adventurous as well, traveling the world with their company. One day my parents would be in rural China sharing tea with a toothless ancient farmer, discussing things through a translator, and the next in a formal meeting at the UN. They are pretty cool people!
My husband had this way about him that reminded me of my father, who is the best man I ever knew..well I should say know because he's still alive lol. It was in the way he did what was right, even when nobody was looking. And would give his last dollar to a hungry person and go hungry himself. In a country full of corruption, this really stood out and his strength of character, moral convictions, and his honest nature were a huge huge attraction to me. I already had the sexual/phyiscal attraction from the get go, but I've never let that rule my heart or head. Physical attraction isn't really something we can control, and it doesn't always have good taste in who it picks. I knew I think from the first day of our friendship, long before we even started dating and even told a friend, this man is going to have a special place in my life, just not sure what place that is.
My husband was not a person to conform. He was proud to be black, but never into the whole Black Pride movement. He always said, I am me, and I'm not going to let people expect me to be a certian way because I'm black, or because I'm Jamaican. He would say he doesn't feel he needs to only surround himself with black people, or look on white people a certian way, or farrin people a certian way. He doesnt see skin color, he see's people. He's extremly proud to be Jamaican, however he is not defined by the fact that he is Jamaican either. He chooses to define himself, and this was a HUGE HUGE attraction to me. Cultural differences can be huge and for us, they are a problem occasionally, but usually we are just me and him...there is no white or black, Jamaican or Canadian, but rather just us. A normal married couple! Its so so rare to find people who are not shaped and defined by skin color and culture anywhere in the world, but can still have that as a part of them, while being their own self defined person.
He also is a giant goofball...and my mom says he can charm roses off wallpaper lol! He keeps me laughing and he's not afraid of what others think of him so we have alot of fun because neither do I haha! He's not into hype. He's a Jamaican so the clothes are always clean and pressed, but he's not afraid to wear his work clothes in to town to grab something he needs, and he's not afraid to throw on whatever to go hang out somewhere. He's remarkably unattached to material things. He's more likely to buy a few nice things he really wants and care for them like a newborn baby. There is no bright colored jeans, and Ed Hardy tee shirts with plenty of bling on for this boy...THANK GOD!!!
This attracted me as well because coming from a well off family, someone of lesser moral character would have kind of hit the jackpot marrying me if thats what they were looking for. I know a rich girl who married a Jamaican and they gave him everything...money, a house, a brand new jaguar and the minute his papers came through he filed for a divorce...so you still have to use your head. The fact that my husband gave me confidence from the beginning of our friendship, long before dating, was a huge thing! And my parents loved him from the first time they met him, my mother tells everyone I couldn't have picked better no matter where in the world I looked and I made the best decision I could have possibly made!
And the most important thing of all...there was no " having to put each other on a different level to communicate or understand each other". There were no communication barriars, nothing. I could have been talking to a fellow Canadian. Our understandings were the same, our views similar, I can talk to him as easily as anyone back home and there is no confusion, no having to explain a single thing. This rocked my world because as you can see by my novel here, I love to talk!! LOL
Ok sorry thats long...but thats my answer lol!!
